Monday, January 9, 2012

Crash and Burrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Well, not really, but that's how it felt today.

After about three weeks of wonderful energy, great mood, and high activity, sometime today I just crashed. I had zero energy and my mood was, well, not *down* but not the up it has been lately. I felt the shift; I think it's hormonal. I have always been super sensitive to the hormone changes in my monthly cycle, and looking at the calendar I think that's what it is. I am a bit irritable and feel kind of like I have early PMS. Today I wanted to do NOTHING. I had stuff planned to do, but only got to about half of it. I still biked my ten minutes, and worked on the dungeon filing and shredding papers for half an hour. I still got some laundry done, bathed and groomed the old dog, and cleaned the kitchen. I still managed to eat my Medifast meals on schedule.

Then I saw this recipe on a low carb forum I read: Revolution Rolls. They are a low carb bread substitute, and with a few tweaks in the recipe, a lot of people on Medifast use them as "buns" for burgers or sandwiches. They are made of eggs and light cream cheese and 2 rolls counts as 1/3 of my lean protein for the day as well as one condiment. I was in a mood anyway, so I decided to go ahead and try making them.

What I didn't count on was that they would trigger me. If you have an eating issue you know what I mean. Now this was not a physical trigger, because heck, it is just eggs and cream cheese and I eat those all the time without a problem. It was a mental trigger.

One recipe makes 6 rolls, so 3 servings. I was going to use them to put my Medifast sloppy joe on for lunch. Well that was pretty darn good! I liked it a lot! It fit into my plan for the day because I was going to have chicken sausage for dinner as the other 2/3 of my Lean, along with peppers, mushrooms, low carb marinara, and spaghetti squash.

Problem: the rolls would not leave me alone. They called to me. I thought, "oh heck, I will have one with coffee for 'dessert' and cut my Lean back a little." I decided to put a smear of light cream cheese on it. I sat down with that and my coffee, took a bite, and started having almost-flashbacks to eating bagels and cream cheese. I mean, it was like I was transported to another time and was eating bagels and cream cheese. It was sooooo good. I had another. I put the last 2 rolls in a baggie in the freezer. They screamed from the freezer and finally I just went and ate them. So the whole recipe = 3 eggs, 3 Tbsp light cream cheese. Not a *disaster* nutritionally, almost no carbs. I basically ate my whole Lean for the day plus condiments. But the way I reacted to those rolls took me of guard. I mean, I have written about food calling to me before, but I have not had that happen to me in WEEKS. I baked cookies and made fudge and cooked all kinds of yummy breads and potatoes and stuff over the holidays and none of it bothered me. In fact the rolls didn't bother me either until I started eating them. They were too much like past binge food. And it was crystal clear it was a mental thing, and was also related to my crashed energy and mood and the old habit of wanting to eat for comfort and distraction.

I went about my day and still ate my veggies for dinner. Everything else is on track. Too much light cream cheese is the only "off" thing about my eating today, but the trigger thing? That is what I have to really watch out for. I am not making those rolls again, at least until I am in maintenance, and even then I am not sure if they have a place in my diet. I think if I made them, I would make a half recipe just to be careful.

16 comments:

Happy Fun Pants said...

What I love most is how you're paying attention to triggers, not just calories or carbs. You are doing great!!

timothy said...

next time cut the recipe in half and as much as i hate wasting food when i feel that feeling comin on i DESTROY the offendor. squash em up and throw em away! glad you saw what was happening and next time you wont be caught off gaurd. i'm also happy you didn't let it destroy the rest of your day. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

LHA said...

Those days happen to all of us. You handled it well! The main thing is not to dwell on it as any type of "failure", which it certainly was not! That kind of negative thinking gets me in way more trouble than actually eating something unplanned or slightly excessive. It was just a small deviation, so put it behind you and carry on.

Deb Willbefree said...

I've had that whole mental trigger thing happen, too. It is the most bizarre feeling.

I have blogger friends who substitue almond flour for regular flour, thus staying low carb nd guten free. I cannot do it. My brain just gets the IDEA that it's having glutten, fat, and sugar and I'm off to the races.

You're right, while some food elements create a chemical reaction, this is an all brain event. The brain shoots out the chemicals all on its own just at the remembrance of the food.

How wonderful that the damage only = a little extra light cream cheese!

Deb

carla said...

oh I have been there. felt that.

xo xo

mrschupchake said...

Me four. Or is it five? But good on you Lyn for addressing the trigger and writing about it.

Jaclyn said...

I applaud your ever-increasing self-awareness! That, I think, is what is *really* necessary for successful maintenance.

barb said...

I think that your self awareness was key. I'm curious about the trigger and food that was technically "on program" vs. getting through the high carb holidays without triggers. I sometimes have more trouble with foods that are "okay" vs. foods in which I'm very careful about indulging. I can monitor my intake of cookies much more easily than my intake of almonds some days. And I know what you mean about the "transported" issue, there's something so soothing about a cup of coffee and a treat...

lisa~sunshine said...

I went through this at Christmas.. Christmas this year landed at the WORST hormonal time for me.. I wish I had been smooth sailing but it wasn't.. Working on these hormonal mental triggers is what I need to do.. they set me back each month and i never feel like I"m making progress.. I think being able to stick and live through them.. is a challenge for most.. I'm hoping to figure out how to do it for myself..

I think you handled it VERY well..

Sugar said...

it will get better!! hang in there!!
I tagged you!!
http://nomorefatass.blogspot.com/2012/01/ive-been-tagged.html

Anonymous said...

I notice that you write alot about success as getting things done. I can certainly relate! However, i wonder how much success there is in having time to reflect, and BE. For me, if i dont get this in, i am setting up for an EPISODE.
Many "plans" neglect the need to rest. reflect, meditate, whatever you call it. Being healthy is a whole body thing. Right? Mind Body Spirit.

Lyn said...

Anonymous~

Yes, you are right. I am pretty good about just 'being,' although I haven't thought to write about it. I generally sit down and chill with a cup of coffee or hot cocoa a couple times a day, even on busy days. I sort of need some down time each day especially since I hit 40! :)

Kyle Gershman said...

When you make something that is meant for "you" and therefore healthy, on-plan, etc., I totally get how the call was strong. When it was the cookies and junk, the call wasn't there because they weren't meant for YOU.

I had a blog post that too much of a good thing, i.e. Sushi, was not a good thing...not because of the general health impact, but because of the same concern as yours...that by convincing myself that sushi was healthy, that I was still entitled to abuse it like any other junk food choice.

Your frustration is shared.

JudyO said...

I hear ya' on the trigger thing! Some MF recipes I just CANNOT make, as I spiral off into some evil dieter cheat zone. Cool that you realized what was happening and corrected it in the moment.

Kim said...

Lyn,

Boy do I understand story of my life that is why I kept regressing; you are not alone in your Crash and Burn..... However, I am glad you called a spade a spade and stopped it in its tracks.

Lisa said...

Been there done that! :)

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