Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Escape from Obesity II

Welcome to my blog, Escape from Obesity II.

I have been obese for five months straight. And let me tell you, I am tired of it.

I got here by eating too much. In that five months, I went on trips. I ate what I wanted. I went to buffets and got take-out and pizza. I baked and went to parties and drank lattes and ate donuts. I did it because I wanted to, I felt driven to, it felt good, it tasted good. I didn't exercise much. I walked a mile or two here or there but that's it. I didn't focus. My weight wasn't that important to me most of the time. When I got frustrated or annoyed or sick of being fat I "tried again," sometimes for weeks at a time, but I never really put my heart into it.

I created this blog back when I was morbidly obese with a BMI of 44.9. My goal was, as the title suggests, to escape from obesity. BMI charts are kind of random but they are a useful tool for me to figure out how I am doing.

On September 2, 2010, after more than three years of hard work, I finally escaped obesity. The scale said 185 pounds, which calculates to a BMI of 29.9: overweight, not obese. I rejoiced.

After that, though, my weight bounced up and down, dipping a toe back into obesity here and there as I went up to 193 and then worked very, very hard to get to my lowest weight of 175 pounds in late October. See the pictures on the sidebar? So proud. So happy. For about 3 weeks.

I bounced back into obesity again, hitting 187 pounds before doing a months-long yo yo from 177 to 189 to 178 to 190 to 182 to 198 jumping back and forth over the line of obesity and finally jumping back under 185 in June of this year. In July, I hit 180 and then bounced back into obesity again, where I have been ever since.

That's my story. A story of maintenance, it seems: 185 in September 2010 and 180 in July 2011. Pretty successful, really.

Except that since July I have not done so well at maintaining. I have stayed in the obese category since then, hitting 189 here and there but never getting back to 185 and out of obesity. And after today's horrible eating, I am quite sure I am at my highest weight in at least a year. And I am not happy about it. Not at all.

I am starting over. It is time to escape from obesity. Again.

Weighing in tomorrow. Taking measurements. I already took some very unflattering pictures. I thought about it and I don't care that it is right before the holidays. I cannot stand to "wait" until New Years to get this going. I am killing myself with food and it has to stop.

I WILL be posting my weight tomorrow, and every Sunday, and on the first of every month like I used to do. I WILL do whatever it takes to make this work. I WILL figure this out. I WILL be posting a challenge for all of us to join and work together after the holidays. And I WILL escape from obesity again. I WILL succeed.

29 comments:

Gavz said...

Wow! U are really an inspiration ma'am :-)
Bhargavi

Jenn said...

If you were able to escape for obesity before, I am sure you can escape it again. I know you can make it!

Karen said...

Awesome! You go girl! You can do this.

LHA said...

Lyn, one of my favorite things about your blog is that you do NOT give up! I am reading your post in the wee hours of the morning here in the Eastern time zone, and it is giving my day a great start. It is a new day for each and every one of us. Whether it is weight/eating issues that you are battling or other problems in your life that need to be solved or dealt with, it is a great and important thing to state clearly your intentions. Not giving up is the only way to make progress!! Congratulations on forging onward. It's the only way to solve a problem and it is also inspiring to all of us. Thanks for a great blog!

Jenny said...

You will kick obesity's a$$ again, no doubt! Have a beautiful day, Lyn. You deserve it! :-)

Diandra said...

I am sure you can do this again. Maybe read up on nutrition and what your body needs (I am sure you have done lots of it, maybe re-read some of the materials?), this may be a great incentive to feed it with the right things.

Anonymous said...

Been lurking here for the last 3, maybe 4 years. With your inspiration I have gone from 213 pounds (5ft 9in) to 171 pounds but have lately climbed up to 175. I have never been my ideal weight (155?) and now I'm prob. too old (58)but you never give up and why should I. I'm with you all the way. While you escape from obesity, I shall follow along and I'll be rooting for you - maybe we can both make it this time - my goal is 165 now. Sounds like nothing but I know from experience it's very slow and the mind games! Arghhh.
All the best Lynn,
You go girl!
Michelle

karen@fitnessjourney said...

Almost everyone who has gone through what you have says that maintenance is the tricky part. You've got the right mindset and want this, you can do it! Good luck.

❀❀ Dawn (Lay Down My Idols) ❀❀ said...

Good for you! At leave you're keeping track - and you ARE an inspiration, because you are real! TY!
Dawn

Karen said...

Lyn, as always you are an inspiration and your spirit to never give up always gives me hope. I KNOW you can do this and I will be here cheering for you.

lisa~sunshine said...

I know you can do it too.. I was happy to wake up today and see you starting.... awesome

401Sue said...

Lyn,
I want to escape with you. I'm in for the life challenge. I'm prepared to start today.
Hugs,
401Sue

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

I love second acts. I've just started mine as well, and can't wait to see where both our journeys go from here.

Anonymous said...

I am with you. I have only about 5 -8 pounds to loose. I know it is not a lot, but for me it is really hard. I really want to succed with it. My main goal is to eat healthy and wisely in Christmas and New Years (holiday trip). No gain on holidays. After that smart eating and excersise. I don't care if it takes a year to have that weight off, but I want to do it.
Your blog is a bit inspiration !!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I meant
Your blog is a big inspiration !!!

Anonymous said...

Lyn as I see it you are going 2 steps forward and 1 step back and that still means you are moving forward. Please don't see this last weight gain as failure. Instead look at it as a lesson on your weightloss/maintenance journey. You have now learned what does not work for you in maintenance and you can lose the weight again and try a new approach to maintaining with the knowledge you now have. You got this Lyn!!
Chrissy Chac

Anonymous said...

*hugs*

I've been struggling too but recommitting as of last week. I already feel better -- not so much physically but psychologically, knowing that I'm no longer spinning out of control, headed towards predictable disaster.

You can do this, Lyn. We're cheering you on.

Michelle

Mella B. said...

You give me hope, Lyn! I love your attitude. I have gained & lost huge amounts of weight. I'm just now coming off a 45-lb upward trend and part of me wants to say "Screw it. I'm destined to be fat. I'll always gain it back."

But I know that giving up is not an option for me, and reading your blog makes me feel justified in my 1 million restarts. I'd rather restart my diet every day than give up and let the food take over. And the more days I am on plan, the easier it is to get past the cravings.

Cheap&Sweet: Life on the scales said...

Do the challenge now! I need it!

Anonymous said...

I, too, have been struggling. From obesity in 2007 and 2008 and half of 2009, to just overweight, to a good size for me, at the beginning of 2010. maintained through all of 2010, and until july of 2011, when I started stress-binging again. because of you (really!) I got on the scale last friday. back in overweight mode. confirming that maintenance is hard, that eating emotions is a way that I still cope when I'm not paying attention. down three pounds since last friday (probably water but will take it), and re-committed to taking it day by day. journaling (on paper) has always helped me-- not writing down calories, but asking myself if I'm hungry, as well as an emphasis on increasing protein and veggies. but you know all of this. I just wanted to say that I feel like a kindred spirit. and your honesty helps me. thank you!

N.R.E. said...

Good for you for continuing to move forward! Here's to a healthy and successful 2012 and beyond.

Princess Dieter said...

I "escaped from obesity" August 5th of this year. Still been out of it since, but it's super hard to lose anymore. I honestly think I hit my setpoint. I've bounced in the low 180s and high 170s...at my lowest since the 1980s as of this past weigh-in. But my body doesn't much want to budge SCALEWISE..but it budges clotheswise, bra-size, etc. So, I suppose body composition also comes into play, so I suggest for your challenge not just photos and scale pics, but maybe an item of clothing that doesn't fit for another measure...sometimes, when the scale makes you nuts, the body is STILL changing for the better. :)

I'm glad you're fighting before New Year. Go for it. WIN the fight for good this time.

And yeah, maintenance will be hard as well, maybe harder...I have been in a sorta maintain (meaning not fluctuating more than 3 to 5 pounds) for a few months, but the body changes. That's at least helpful.

If the fluctuation is more than a handful of pounds around a stable particular goal weight, that's not maintenance. That's yo-yoing, which we all know about and it sucks and we hate it....and we gotta fight NOT to do that.

On we go. The struggle doesn't end...it just might get easier..but it doesn't end...

Anonymous said...

Great post! Keep blogging and keep trying. I could have written this post, my weight history is so similar. Reach a low, rebound, lose a little, maintain... life interupts... uh oh, where did THAT number come from? Get discouraged, feel like giving up, then trying again. EXHAUSTING! Keep the big picture in mind and remember how successful you already are, right where you are now.

The Ousted Princess said...

Thank you for being so strong, during the holidays especially!

Janel said...

You've got this Lyn!!! Hang in there hun!! I absolutely admire you for not giving up...as I have mentioned before you and I are in the same boat only I am now only 2lbs away from just being overweight. Not saying this to boast...but to say if I can do it...you CAN!!!! I managed to bounce from 175 back up to 195...finally down to 187. It is hard, if it were easy, everyone would be skinny. You never lose the battle so long as you don't give up:)

A journey to LIFE said...

Good luck lyn, I am keeping my finger crossed for you:)

you will do it, if you escaped once you will escape million time again.

it is gonna be hard in holidays but once you have determination, willing and enthusiasm, committing to diet through holidays is doable and not impossible.

Good luck..

Anonymous said...

Lyn, I am with LHA and all the others who have experienced the joy of seeing that you never, ever give up. That is a wonderful mantra and a regular reminder from you on 3fc.

Your road has been a serpentine one and you have many tools that have helped you to reach each individual goal. The only time we experience failure is when we stop trying and you have never, nor are you now, doing that.

You know what to do and how to do it your way. You have said all along that with every success and stall and slip, you have learned something. Each time you are applying new insight to your new effort, which you would not have had, had you done it differently. As long as you keep going forward and do not give up, you will reach your goal when it is right for you.

It is also important to remember that this has not been exclusively about weight loss for you. You've done an awful lot of emotional work during this time. You are an introspective woman who would be a therapist's dream client. Instead, we, your readers, have the opportunity to benefit from your work and if we are very lucky, find our own "aha moments" along with you.
Borrowing your 'war cry': NEVER GIVE UP!

m/b

Karin said...

Right there with you....been working on it, at the cusp of 200 and just need to get serious again. I'll continue with Paleo eating, just need to cut down on the carbs I think and exercise more (I do not exercise at ALL...anemia sucks because it sucks all my energy but am on new iron regimin and hoping it will give me more energy). You can do it!

Kat said...

You go!!! I know you have it in you!