This morning as I was getting ready to walk my daughter to school, I started thinking about this blog. I thought about how it is really not a weight loss blog, not to me, anyway. I mean sure, it started out that way, with lots of talk about pounds and progress pictures and measurements and WOOHOO I lost another ten pounds! Sure, it still has those things. But it has become much more of a Journey Blog. It's a record of my change as a *person*... of the miraculous (to me) transformation from hopeless, morbidly obese woman trapped in her own body to a life now filled with hope and joy and activity, where my weight no longer hinders me from anything. It is amazing. I am a whole different person. My life is forever changed.
I mean, really. Who reads a FOUR YEAR LONG weight loss blog, where the author takes a crazy-long amount of time to reach her goal weight while meandering on all sorts of crazy, twisted pathways to get there? It's not the kind of story you'll find in magazines or on Oprah, where a person knuckles down and drops a hundred pounds in 8 months. THAT is inspiring. Right? When my blog was featured on AOL some time ago, I got a comment that reflected this attitude. It said something along the lines of, "I came here to read this inspiring story of someone who lost 80 pounds, and then I see it took you THREE YEARS to do it??? That is not inspiring! ANYBODY could do that! Sheesh!"
And that's fine, even though I don't think "anybody" could, nor do I think losing weight quickly is more to be admired (nor healthier) than losing weight slowly. I have my ups and downs, but the overall trend is in the right direction. Yet the fact remains that lots of people are not looking for a weight loss story like mine. They want the ZOOM rapid loss story so that they can believe that they will be able to hurry up and get their weight off, too. I mean, we'd all like to be thin instantly, right?
Well, to me, I like it this way. I think this way is perfect for me. My brain has had time to change. When I backslide now, it isn't going back to the old, 278-pound ways. Those ways are gone forever. I can never be Her again. Even when I have had days where I say "screw it" and go to the store and buy chips, a hoagie, Coke and a pint of ice cream, I come home and look at it and go.... bah. This is dumb. And then I eat some of it, think "this is lame, I am full and it isn't that good" and I either save the rest for later or toss it. It doesn't grab me like it used to. I always end up thinking, "well, that was stupid, I don't even get anything out of the food anymore." And I am left to deal with the emotions I was trying to bury with food... but that tactic just doesn't work for me anymore. So I go ahead and deal with the emotions in a healthier way.
So this is my story. It's not the story you oooh and ahhh over on the front page of the tabloids in the supermarket checkout line. You won't see "Woman Loses 120 Pounds in Five Years!" in bold print on the magazine racks anytime soon. But my story is mine. Yours can be yours, and while you might cringe *now* at the thought of taking four or five years to lose 100 or 120 pounds, you sure wouldn't be cringing in four or five years if you started today, and did it :)
Food on the Brain
1 day ago