Wednesday, September 7, 2011

My Story

This morning as I was getting ready to walk my daughter to school, I started thinking about this blog. I thought about how it is really not a weight loss blog, not to me, anyway. I mean sure, it started out that way, with lots of talk about pounds and progress pictures and measurements and WOOHOO I lost another ten pounds! Sure, it still has those things. But it has become much more of a Journey Blog. It's a record of my change as a *person*... of the miraculous (to me) transformation from hopeless, morbidly obese woman trapped in her own body to a life now filled with hope and joy and activity, where my weight no longer hinders me from anything. It is amazing. I am a whole different person. My life is forever changed.

I mean, really. Who reads a FOUR YEAR LONG weight loss blog, where the author takes a crazy-long amount of time to reach her goal weight while meandering on all sorts of crazy, twisted pathways to get there? It's not the kind of story you'll find in magazines or on Oprah, where a person knuckles down and drops a hundred pounds in 8 months. THAT is inspiring. Right? When my blog was featured on AOL some time ago, I got a comment that reflected this attitude. It said something along the lines of, "I came here to read this inspiring story of someone who lost 80 pounds, and then I see it took you THREE YEARS to do it??? That is not inspiring! ANYBODY could do that! Sheesh!"

And that's fine, even though I don't think "anybody" could, nor do I think losing weight quickly is more to be admired (nor healthier) than losing weight slowly. I have my ups and downs, but the overall trend is in the right direction. Yet the fact remains that lots of people are not looking for a weight loss story like mine. They want the ZOOM rapid loss story so that they can believe that they will be able to hurry up and get their weight off, too. I mean, we'd all like to be thin instantly, right?

Well, to me, I like it this way. I think this way is perfect for me. My brain has had time to change. When I backslide now, it isn't going back to the old, 278-pound ways. Those ways are gone forever. I can never be Her again. Even when I have had days where I say "screw it" and go to the store and buy chips, a hoagie, Coke and a pint of ice cream, I come home and look at it and go.... bah. This is dumb. And then I eat some of it, think "this is lame, I am full and it isn't that good" and I either save the rest for later or toss it. It doesn't grab me like it used to. I always end up thinking, "well, that was stupid, I don't even get anything out of the food anymore." And I am left to deal with the emotions I was trying to bury with food... but that tactic just doesn't work for me anymore. So I go ahead and deal with the emotions in a healthier way.

So this is my story. It's not the story you oooh and ahhh over on the front page of the tabloids in the supermarket checkout line. You won't see "Woman Loses 120 Pounds in Five Years!" in bold print on the magazine racks anytime soon. But my story is mine. Yours can be yours, and while you might cringe *now* at the thought of taking four or five years to lose 100 or 120 pounds, you sure wouldn't be cringing in four or five years if you started today, and did it :)

38 comments:

Kelliann said...

I personally think it's very inspiring - to stick with something, through ups and downs, and to keep going. It takes guts.
You got guts!
What was the other option? To stay a morbidly obese person? Now THAT is uninspiring!!! :-)

Jill said...

I like your story. I have a similar story. It took me 3 years to lose 75 pounds. I am still struggling to get those last 10 or so off- but because I took so long to lose the weight- I gave myself a chance to learn new habits. I am still learning and still have my setbacks, but like you I don't fall as far back. I have learned to stop a binge sooner and get back on track faster. Will I ever be healed? I hope so- but for now I consider myself a work in progress. I really relate to your story and think that stories like yours and mine should be what we see at the check out lines. They are more real. (in my opinion) :)
I think you are great!

Forty Pound Sack said...

I think it's inspiring to change your life for the better, which is exactly what you have done. Who cares how long it takes? That exact "hurry up, I want it now!" attitude is what has caused a lot of the issues around this country, if you ask me. Which you didn't, LOL. Anyway: I love your story, I'm cheering for you, I know you can do it. And I hope you keep blogging after you reach your goal.

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

That's what I've always loved about your story. You're real and you have perseverance. :-)

Marshmallow said...

You shouldn't have to feel like you have to be a 'glamorous' weight loss 'story', or that you have to 'compete' with other peoples weight loss journeys.

But I understand what you mean. I am NEVER going to have the glamorous weight loss story. Heck, I haven't stood on a scale in years and if I did, I'd probably be at the same weight as when I started. Difference is then I couldn't walk up the stairs without getting terribly out of breath, and now I'm actually teaching group fitness.

Your story is personal to you. Be proud of that. We love you for it :)

lisa~sunshine said...

Lynn.. I love your story as well.. and mine is alot like yours.. it took me 2.5 years to lost 85 lbs and quit smoking.. but I know I am so much healthier and I too feel I have learned so much and I'm not that person anymore..

Lori said...

I love your story. I haven't been with you since the beginning but I went back and read all the way through when I found you.

Your story is inspiring even if some folks don't see it. It is the true to life reality of losing weight. The TRUE part. The part about not stopping when it gets hard. The honesty of the heartbreak and binges. If someone doesn't get inspired by that, it is their problem, not yours.
Lori

Marilyn said...

Your last sentence says it all, Lyn - you have to START and you have to KEEP GOING thru the rough times - and that's what you've been doing and what keeps me coming back to your blog every day!
I agree that it takes as long as it takes - I've been hovering around the same weight for 9 months now and I still have at least 80 more pounds to drop - maybe 100? Whatever! I'm a changed woman and I keep ON changing thru this journey! Thanks for sharing YOUR journey with the world - it's a VERY inspiring story, IMHO! XOXO - M

Erika said...

This is great! And like other commenters have said, this is your story, and the point is that you are being healthy for yourself.

You realized recently that putting on 20 pounds from your lowest weight was not something you wanted, so you are making an effort to change that. That is the key difference from someone who just ignores it and balloons back up to someone who says "Enough with the bullshit!"

You should be beyond proud of yourself for everything you've accomplished.

Anonymous said...

We read it because we like you and the blog :) You're human. That's good.

Chris

Anonymous said...

A woman once wrote to Ann Landers -- I'd love to go back to school, but gosh, I'll be FORTY when I finish.

Ann's response? "You'll be forty anyway".

Over all the years that has stuck with me. No matter what goal, desire, dream -- it's never too late.

I'll be forty (fifty, sixty...) anyway!

Debi said...

I think it is harder to do it slow. You have to keep plugging at it day after day after day. I think you have done an awesome job. It takes as long as it takes. :)

Janis said...

"That is not inspiring! ANYBODY could do that!"

o_O These two statements don't make sense to me. The fact that anybody can do it is what MAKES it inspiring.

Sometimes I think missing the point should be an Olympic sport.

Princess Dieter said...

I think a lot of us have the zig-zaggy or long-term path, and we understand. Hey, took me a long time and I still have a way to go and then I have to do right eating/moving for a lifetime. It never ends.

I always wonder when I see the "Lost 150" or "Lost 80" or "Lost 100" pound stories WHERE ARE THEY 2 and 3 and 5 years later. It doesn't mean much to me if I can't keep it off til, pretty much, I die. :)

The story is always ongoing..always learning..always tweaking...though I think we reach a place of peace where we coast a bit mmore. That's the hope, right? :)

I feel changed. I feel unequivocably changed. But it's the changed me that has to keep up new habits and learn more and work more and keep the optimism and joy. The changed me can become the old me. Transformations can untransform--pumpkin to coach to pumpkin again.

But sometimes, it sticks. I feel like this will stick. It feels THAT different in my inner landscape. BUT...complacency kills. The huge percentage of regain shows it.

Maybe, because our journey was all over the map and long, maybe because we've learned, not just dieted, we get some of that special secret fire to burn in our souls. Maybe...I like to think so.

Jaclyn said...

*standing ovation*

Yes. And this is why I come back time after time to read (and be inspired by) your posts.

Anonymous said...

All I can say is "Brava Lyn!" I love that you are the hero of your own story.
Sandi

Anonymous said...

I have read your blog for quite some time now and throughly enjoy it and your honesty about the process. I also come here looking for inspiration as I cannot get out of my own way when it comes to losing weight.

Somedays, like today, I just feel like I have had it and I will never be able to control the food in my life enough again to feel "well." I just haven't had the strength. But I come here for inspiration and say to myself-- try again! try again! Your story...helps!

Gerri L said...

Your story is real and much like a lot of us long term readers. If it were easy to lose weight then so many of us wouldn't have weight problems. It is inspiring to realize that others have the same thoughts (demons at times) tormenting the daily struggle to make our eating and exercise life long habit. Keep it real sister and I'll always be a reader!

Karen said...

I read your blog because I can so relate to it, your honesty, and your fabulous Medifast recipes and tips.

Always good to be on this journey with others.

Keep blogging! :)

Karen said...

I think we read your blog to share your life and your journey with you...because the ups and downs are things we can all relate to!!! I know that your "never give up" attitude is what keeps me coming back!

Lyn, you are AWESOME!!!!!

meredith said...

I think your story is incredibly inspiring! Thank you for being so brave and sharing it with the world even the crazies!

Jan Mader said...

You inspire me. Believe me when I say I need inspired!

The Van Hulle Family said...

Wow! I love your story and I am so glad that I found your blog. I have hypothyroid and losing weight has simply been hell. I finally started losing weight after I totally changed my eating habits and I have started working out every day. I find it very inspirational to read your story because it gives me the hope that I desperately need to keep going!

Cowgirl Warrior said...

Your absolutely right this is not a competition. I'm inspired by your story. Plus this is your blog and you can write about whatever you want.

Anne said...

Great post!

My goal is to lose 1/2 pound each week. Talk about slow!

I read your blog often, but this if my first time commenting.

Your story is inspiring.

Anonymous said...

I love your story. It is realistic and inspiring. You write about life.

jirons42 said...

On the contrary, I believe your story is more inspiring because it's real. It's the weigh most of us lose weight and your persistence is the lesson we all can use.

Diandra said...

Your story *is* inspiring. If anybody could go and change like you did, why don't they do it? Why would there be so many miserable people out there if it was a breeze going from unhappy and obese to fit and enjoying yourself in a matter of years? I mean, after all, four years... that is only 1500 days (give or take).

lisa said...

Lynn - i started on medifast after finding your blog. It has only been 4 weeks and i have lost some weight but Im starting to find it hard not to want pizza, or pasta, or cheese! how do you/did you stay committed for so long? Ugh! this is hard.

Anonymous said...

Lyn, I've been following your Blog for at least two years, maybe three. And when I first found it, I did read back to the very beginning. Yours is one of only four blogs that I have bookmarked. Your story resonates so much with me. I feel as if I know you. I don't, of course, and to you I'm a total stranger because I just add some comments every now and then.
I continue to read because you're real, because I identify so much with your food struggles. But mostly because you have achieved what I have so far been unable to - you've lost a lot of weight. You inspire me!

Best wished from England.
Helen xx

Lyn said...

lisa~

try new things! Check my link at the top of my blog under "Recipes." There is an excellent recipe there for pizza made with a cauliflower crust and it is Medifast friendly. You can have low fat cheese as your Lean on Medifast; check the official Medifast site for the "Meatless Lean Options" list. Hang in there, it is worth it!

amy_joy81 said...

I like your story better BECAUSE it took you so long. I agree that it's neat to hear about people losing weight quickly, or to watch shows like the Biggest Loser. But for me it can almost be depressing because I know I don't have the energy nor the stamina to do something so drastic so fast. So in a way I think you're inspiring because you were able to stick with your efforts for so long. Congrats!

Anonymous said...

I think it's best to think long-term anyway. Making moderate, reasonable progress for three years, doing things you know you can keep on doing, beats a crash diet that's impossible to sustain. At the end of the three years, you have all those good habits, and you can keep going. What's the hurry get it all done at once? I suspect that trying to change one's whole life overnight is why a lot of lifestyle changes fail anyway.

Anonymous said...

Your story is very inspiring.You could have remained as you were or continued to gain weight...you are a success story!! This is a lifelong issue and you are dealing with it!!

beerab said...

If "anyone" could do it we'd all be thin. That person is just a jerk looking for an excuse to say that they have no inspiration to get off their lazy butt IMO!

Sorry I just think that was rude!

It's taken me over 2 years and I've lost 35 lbs! I've still got another 65-75 to go! According to my calculations that means it'll take me four more years to get to goal- fine by me! I plan on living to 100 :)

MB said...

I've been blogging for 4 years too. I gained the first two years before making any progress. Still striving for that goal of 101 pounds but don't really care how long it takes to get there. The longer it takes it lose the better chance I have of learning how to keep it off. Slow and steady is the way to go. You continue to inspire me because you keep fighting. Stay strong and rock on!

Anonymous said...

Do you worry that you will lose readers/friends/community support once you have reached your goal weight and you have been able to maintain for some amount of time? (I ask because that would be the type of thing that would bother me in the back of my mind if I were to take on an ambitious project like this blog.) If it's a thing for you at all...please remember that people look for so many types of inspiration on their journeys. We look to find those that have walked our intended path before us, so that we can learn from their successes and mistakes. We seek companions on our journey, so we can support one another together. And we seek stories of those with harder paths to travel than our own, so that we, in turn, can offer our support and ideas to them. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I will still want to know how Lyn is doing in her life - regardless of her current focus. You are transparent and truthful about your life experience, and that appeal will continue whether you do or do not have a sensational headline type of story. (Which, by the way, I think you have. You haven't crashed down to where you are, you have truly earned it. That is not easy, and not everyone HAS done it. You have a lot to feel proud of. No need to feel anything other than extremely proud of your journey, your story, and your blog!)

Lyn said...

Anonymous~

I did actually used to worry about that, as well as, "if I am not a person losing weright, who will I be??" I had to work through it some time ago and realize I am more than my weight loss story. I will also have a very long maintenance story! And I expect to keep on blogging wherever my life takes me. The kind of support I have has changed over time and I think that will continue. I really, really would like to have some kind of blog reader/blogger meetup someday and just visit with some of you all in person!