Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Fatty Stuff, Stomach Pains

You know what's crazy? Ever since those parties (where I didn't eat anything and stayed on plan), I have had the worst time ignoring my food thoughts. I keep thinking about that darned cake and how much I'd like to make it. I think about fast food even though I swore off it 2 years ago. I think about all kinds of junk. But I don't go buy it. I have continued eating low carb, but my fat intake has gone up a LOT over the past 2 days.

Instead of a true "lean and green" meal with lean protein and lots of veggies, yesterday I ate a burger with bacon and cheese on it... NO bun. And instead of my last Medifast meal of the day, I ate 2 slices of full fat cheese. And 3 pieces of bacon. Today, when I dropped my little girl off at school, I was really fighting the desire to go get a very off-plan, fatty, carby breakfast, but instead I came home, made a low carb/high protein "biscuit" out of Medifast cream of chicken soup powder, and cooked some Egg Beaters, turkey sausage, and light cheese to make a breakfast sandwich that is on plan. However I also ate 3 more slices of regular, full fat cheese as a snack today.

I seem to get hooked on cheese often. Bacon, too. They are low carb and so I get it in my head that they are okay to eat because I am still within my carbs for the day. Bacon and cheese just so happened to be my undoing when I was on South Beach diet as well. I somehow convinced myself that as long as my carbs were low enough, eating half a brick of cream cheese and 6 pieces of bacon was okay.

It's not.

I have not gone *quite* that far overboard the last 2 days, and my weight is stable, but I know all the fat and salt are not good for my body. (At this point someone always says, "Stop buying cheese and bacon!" But I am not the one buying it. The other adults in the house who contribute to the pantry have been very good about not buying chips, cookies, cakes, muffins, white bread, ice cream, etc etc and I am not going to tell them they can't even have cheese in the house either. And I have two kids who benefit nutritionally from cheese as a fat/protein source. So, you know, I feel this is my issue at this point.) I can definitely knock it off just by cracking down and telling myself to stop it. But I find it very interesting that I *want* cheese and bacon all the time, and eat those on occasion, but will not dive into carby stuff or sugar basically because I know once I start those things, it is very very hard to stop. I can stop cheese and bacon without too much work, but stopping cake? Wow, now that is suffering.

And yes, I get stomach pains when I eat cheese or bacon. That should be enough to make me knock it off. I am getting my act together right now, planning a healthier dinner for tonight (but not sure exactly what yet!)

That's all for now.

19 comments:

downsizers said...

It sounds like you are substituting the high fat stuff for the cake that you really want. Atkins has some sweet alternatives that are very low carb but if you are like me I can eat the whole box. If you are sprouting a binge why not go out and share a dessert with someone if you think that would quiet your thoughts. Don't do this however if it would set you off. You might just have to wait for this to pass.

Melanie said...

It's amazing how seeing and smelling food, along with the sense of unfairness and deprivation that can be felt at an event when you're eating healthy can cause cravings for days, isn't it?

Keep focused on the fact that you stayed on plan and didn't succumb to the temptations at the parties. Great accomplishment!!!

Deb Willbefree said...

I have often found that the day after a success is always the worst for me--for the reasons you're experiencing. Just hard, that's all, just hard.

You have my sympathies--and an "atta girl!" for hanging in there.

Deb

Forty Pound Sack said...

Hugs, Lyn. Hang in there, sweetie. You'll get through this rough patch.

Anonymous said...

Ok... don't judge me here but my sister who has maintained a 170 lb. weight loss for 20 years told me to do this... When I am having a horrible time of not eating the bad stuff which happens from time to time.. I binge on these things BUT spit them out without swallowing. Yes, disgusting I know. But it gets the taste in my mouth which is 80% of what I'm going for anyway. Then I rinse and spit and have done NO damage. Hey, I've been doing this through my own weight loss journey on those days I just can't deal and I've still managed to lose 120 lbs this last year. So, there is something to be said for this even if it is completely repulsive to some people. Sorry if I grossed you all out.

Marilyn said...

Your younger-than-mine digestive tract doesn't have trouble with the fat and salt? I LOVE cheese, too - but I know after many years of chronic constipation that I need to go VERY easy on it, or I get into BIG trouble!! And the salt in bacon makes me retain water like CRAZY, so I'm pretty moderate with that, too.
You're doing so great, Lyn - and resisting temptation is SO VERY HARD - I commend you for your efforts AND your results!! Keep on keepin' on!
XO - M

lisa~sunshine said...

I crave cheese and bacon with my TOM... I know it's hard to resist at parties and you succeeded there.. but is there any chance of your cycle starting soon? I mean that along with the visions of the foods.. could be what it is.. Just a thought..

Your doing awesome...

Lena said...

hmm, interesting point anonymous...i used to do the same thing...when i was 17 and at the height of my eating disorder :/ if you can do that and you're still in a good place mentally, then that's fine, i totally understand the whole "wanting the taste" thing. i would be careful though because that is typically considered a sign of disordered eating behaviors. not to mention it's kind of a waste of food :p and just generally reinforcing a relationship with food that is quite abnormal.
not to be offensive; just my 2 cents :)

Kristen said...

I've only been reading your blog for a little bit, but have you ever thought of food as an addiction? I've been reading that fat, sugar, and salt causes people to overeat and are addicting. There are now also treatment centers that treat overeating as an addiction like alcohol or drugs.
Your time at the parties seemed like putting an alcoholic in a bar. You waxed poetic about that food. There was a lot of focus on the food and having just a little wouldn't have worked (just like having 'one drink')
The reason why I say this is because I'm on a journey where I'm realizing these things are very true about myself and probably many other people. I would have struggled at that party, too.

Lyn said...

lisa~sunshine~

yes! absolutely. I am in full PMS mode. That is probably a factor!

Anonymous & Lena~

It doesn't gross me out. I actually tried doing that on one or two occasions. I have several times taken a bite of something I felt I HAD to taste and then spit it out. But when I tried it as a sub for a binge I ended up very frustrated because a bigger part of what I was *getting* out of a binge was the feeling of being stuffed. Lena, I agree it is a sign of a disordered relationship with food. But I think it is more wasteful (and harmful) to eat it (a binge on food one does not at all need and may hurt their health).

Kristen~

yes! for sure some foods are addictive. Have you read David Kessler's "The End of Overeating"? He explains it in a very matter of fact way. I've written before about how I feel like an addict about certain foods that I can never get enough of; that's why I couldn't have one bite of the cake. I wish you the best on your journey :)

Karen said...

Now you know two more trigger foods for your list. Are you able to not eat bacon and cheese at all and feel the feelings and not take action? Good luck and hang in there.

I found the book "No Dieting: A dry drunk" by Becky Lu Jackson to be helpful. Different than the David Kessler book too. The Kessler book does explain it to a T.

Sometimes I just tell myself. "It's the disease talking." And, in naming it, the disease, it's an instant relief.

It's the pause before the action and the reminder to myself that I don't have to act. I can't control the feeling (disease), but I can manage the actions.

Take care. You're doing great, one meal at a time...

Anonymous said...

I could have written this post too Lyn. Cheese is the enemy and the friend........

Anonymous said...

I'm also on low carb and I find the best thing to eat when I'm craving sweet stuff is this smoothie:

coconut milk (lite or otherwise, just choose a low carb one);

1 scoop whey (if you don't have whey then something to sweeten it just a bit)

1 raw egg
(I KNOW the raw egg sounds gross but it actually makes the smoothie really tasty and creamy and once blended you don't notice at all).

splash of vanilla essence

cream/ milk (I don't eat milk so replace it with cream or coconut milk)

peanut butter (optional).


I know it seems like more fat than you'd like but it really fills you up (i.e. no nibbling on lots of fatty stuff and before you know it, you're way over the smoothie totals anyway) and stops that niggly "I want stuff" feeling. I think the raw egg helps with the fullness.

Good luck!

Deniz said...

Cheese and bacon are hard foods for me to deal with too, in fact, most of my 'perilous' foods are savoury not sweet.

All I can do is send support and positive thoughts. You've come such a long way and faced worse obstacles than this in the past. You WILL get through this. I know you will.

Take care.

Dawn said...

About 5 years ago I had pains when I ate cheese, It was the first signs of gall bladder stones. I had surgery and it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be but it might be good to think about checking out your gall bladder. Of course it may be absolutely nothing to worry about - none of us are doctors and its too easy to self diagnose a problem where there isn't one. I don't want to worry you
Dawn

LHA said...

I have had this same experience over and over and over again in my decades of trying to diet. It is a very uncomfortable feeling being the one person in the room who is not enjoying the foods at a party! Every single time this happened, I overate on something the next day, or days...or weeks! It was that feeling of desperation that I couldn't shake no matter what. There seemed to be no good answer because if I ate the cake or chips or cookies or whatever was offered at the party it always seemed to set off a binge, and if I denied myself those things it was just as likely to set off a binge!!

I have solved this problem (to a great extent) by making sure that no food is completely off limits...ever! I never believed that I could eat a piece of cake at a birthday party without it setting off a wild eating binge. What I found out though, is that by stopping my obsession with restricting my intake, I stopped my obsession with formerly forbidden foods. I actually enjoy social occasions instead of fearing them, or suffering through them. It's not a perfect system, as sometimes I tend to eat more than I probably should at parties, but it seems to work when I just remind myself that I can have cake again at the next birthday party, so there is no need to gobble a lot down now. It kind of puts that type of food "in its place" by knowing that it is just another food, not a reward or a sin or anything else.

So, I sympathize with your dilemma and wish you great success on your journey. You are quite an inspiration, so thank you for that.

Xani said...

have you ever tried buying mini babybel cheese to have as a better option when you have bad cheese cravings? They are portion controlled (Each wrapped in their own package and wax coating) which helps me stop at just one. They have several flavors, including light options.

As for the bacon... maybe try having turkey bacon in the house for a healthier option?

Amy said...

I haven't been reading all your posts lately - but I just wanted to suggest to you the book Wheat Belly. It's been getting some attention lately. It's main premis is to elliminate wheat(not necessarily all carbs, but the lower carb, the more weight and inches you'll lose). Going wheat-free is supposed to help eliminate a bunch of aches and illnesses + reduce your belly fat(and overall weight and inches).
I know you're going low carb, and in alot of ways it's the same thing.. but it's easy to manipulate low carb and still eat forms of wheat. I've been wheat-free for a week and I'm not craving anything. I've almost lost my desiring for food. I'm still hungry and want something good to eat but it's not pizza and dessert and fast food like it used to be. The healthy food is just as appealing and appetizing. Sure, when my family has pizza I could have eaten it and enjoyed it, but I was just as content w/ my salad. For the first time, I've not cheated on a diet for a whole week. and it's reall y not been hard, it's just been a matter of finding a suitable option, not fighting my cravings and trying to be strong. Something to look into.

Anonymous said...

I highly recommend two documentaries I just finished within the last couple weeks: "Fat, sick and nearly dead." and "Forks over knives." Fascinating stuff!