Monday, July 11, 2011

Missing Out

Yesterday I was out running errands with my daughter when I had one of those split second thoughts of going out to eat. It's funny; there are certain areas of town... specific areas where I sometimes shop with my girl, and when she was 2-3 years old... even 4... we used to stop and get something to eat when we got hungry. We often went to a fast food joint or maybe just grabbed a snack at a coffee shop. Sometimes we'd just go into a cafe for some soup. It was one of my favorite things to do... just "girl time" together... and yesterday as we pulled out of a store parking lot and drove past those places to go home and eat, I thought, "I am missing out!"

Missing out? It only took me a fraction of a second to realize the ridiculousness of that thought. Missing out on WHAT? Missing out on weighing 278 pounds, driving to Arby's with my toddler, eating sandwiches and curly fries in the car, spilling horsey sauce down my shirt? Missing out on being too exhausted to even play with her in our yard, much less at the playground? Would I trade it back, for a fry??

No! I had romanticized the eating of fries and ice cream with my child, when, in fact, it was no better to her than coming home and eating a sandwich and a banana. In fact, she would RATHER sit at the table with me and a dish of hummus and drink juice from her tea set than sit in her car seat eating fries while I shove roast beef in my face in the front seat.

Now I play with her. I get up on the slide and I swing with her. We take long walks together. I have a lap for her to sit on. I can fit on the rides at the fair with her, no problem, and we ride them ALL. I can take her shopping at several stores in a row without pain. I can clean the house, sit down on the floor to play My Little Ponies with her, and get up and dance with her. I can go down the stairs to kiss my other children goodnight. I can walk her to school and volunteer in her classroom. All things I could not do before. All things far better than sharing a bag of curly fries and spilling cheese dip down the insides of my car and then coming home and turning on the TV so I could "rest."

I am not missing out on ANYTHING. I have traded a life where my happiest moments were spent in the car with my daughter strapped in her carseat in a parking lot for a life of rich experiences *outside* of the food-focused bubble I was living in. And I am so, so thankful I made that change. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other, I walked away from that life and into this one and I am never going back.

24 comments:

Tiffany said...

I love this post!!

Mary said...

Way to go!

❀❀ Dawn (Lay Down My Idols) ❀❀ said...

AWESOME, AWESOME post!
Good for you (and your daughter!).
Dawn

Anonymous said...

I LOVE This post!!!!!!! This is sooo inspiring for me .. there is HOPE from food addiction!!!! I cant THANK YOU enough for your insight and honesty..YOU have been a HUGE inspiration!!!!God Bless you!!!!
Peace and Love from
Stacey
Sylmar Ca

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Kudos to you for unshackling yourself from those self-destructive tendencies, Lyn. It's so much more difficult than some people realize, because we really can get lost in that dark place. When you're stuck in that downward spiral, lifting yourself up and out of it seems virtually impossible. Thanks for the reminder that it most certainly is not!

Leslie said...

I'm going to post about something very similar later today, Lyn. Yes - what in the hell do we miss by giving up overeating? My thinking can get kinda crazy when a food thought moves through!

lisa~sunshine said...

Way to go Lynn... It's unbelievable how much we have in common ... I loved this post..

Leah said...

Great post - makes me inspired to keep things active for my son too. I want his childhood to be full of parks and baseball bats and whatnot, not sitting indoors eating junk...

Robin said...

I needed to read this post. Thank you!

Debbie said...

What a fabulous post! It was a great reminder to all of us who are making changes that "missing out" is a relative phrase. It was a reminder that I needed. I love reading your blog because you always share amazing insights.

jules said...

:-) that is indeed a lovely post. I just wonder how we (I) make these things about food in the first place... seems quite idiotic, coming to think about it, but I do it too. To this day. Stop at a certain sandwich bar to reward myself (or distract from whatever is the issue at that given moment) - when in fact it is the opposite of a reward...
very inspiring - and I will try to think of that, next time I am tempted...

Miss April said...

I love the post. So many struggles with my own little 'food focused bubble'. Congratulations to you on your weight loss success so far and way more importantly - time with your children and being an example to them. AMAZING!

Katie J said...

I sometimes fantasize about eating French fries. Then, when I finally taste them (steal from BF) they don't taste as good as I remember them so I get what you mean. You are NOT missing anything!

Katie J said...

I sometimes fantasize about eating French fries. Then, when I finally taste them (steal from BF) they don't taste as good as I remember them so I get what you mean. You are NOT missing anything!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I have mixed feelings on this. On the one hand, I do think the food industry has brainwashed us into thinking that eating out and fancy meals are significantly better than normal meals and eating at home. On the other hand, I do think some people take "clean eating" to an extreme. A treat food can be something healthy, like a good steak of halibut, or less so, like a hunk of brie on French bread, but I think weight loss does involve deprivation, both of treat and of that full feeling. It's a worthwhile tradeoff, but I can't imagine convincing myself it's not a tradeoff.

Genevieve said...

Thank you -for your honesty, your determination, and your candor. being a long term weight controller is a choice and sometimes it's hard to make the best choice, even when you've worked towards it for years.
Thanks again.

timothy said...

AMEN! 100% correct

Angela Cruz said...

This is such an amazing perspective, thanks for sharing, Lyn!!! :)

Lisa said...

Thank you.

Momma Brown said...

love this post. you are making such amazing progress.

Russell said...

I took the liberty of linking your blog to mine. I've lost almost a hundred pounds myself, and I'm getting a lot of questions on how I'm doing it, so I thought I'd start my own blog.

http://aliveonceagain.wordpress.com

Congradulations! This isn't easy, even if you know what you're doing and are highly motivated, you still have to put in the hard work every day. It nearly breaks my heart whenever I try to take a couple of days off, or take a break from discipline and eat a couple of Snickers, and see I'm up several pounds, all the hard work that went into losing it is thrown out. Fortunately, I haven't had many days like that, and I can say that, of that 99 pounds I've lost, 78 have come in just over four months.

I hope to see you on my blog before too long. Come look for me on Facebook as well if you can.

~Russell

Lisa said...

Amen sister! :)

- Lisa
http://inweighovermyhead.blogspot.com/

p.s. - thanks for the sweet comment on my family site :)

Doing It My Weigh said...

great post! "Nothing tasts as good as thin feels"

erika said...

Isn't it wonderful when you are able to break free from those lies you've been telling yourself?! This post so beautifully speaks of the truth. Thank you for sharing!

And to the previous Anonymous poster, it's a trade off of bondage to food for freedom to live! Weight loss does not have to involve deprivation or the "full feeling." You can eat plenty and be completely satisfied; you just have to eat the foods that actually satisfy! We also have to train our bodies to think differently about treats and "feeling full." When I was overweight, I ate until I was absolutely stuffed at every meal, but I didn't know it until I actually learned what it meant to be satisfied. Then I realized how miserable I was making myself, physically and mentally, by eating until I was stuffed. That, in my opinion, is true deprivation.