Sometimes, I get very, very impatient about getting this weight off my body. I look at my little planner book where I write my weights, and I see that the last time I weighed 182 pounds was in mid-April. Three months later and I am waiting, waiting, weighing to see that 182 again. All that off-plan eating... it's frustrating. In that three months, I had spurts of a few days or a week here and there of being on plan but the rest of the time I was eating junk at least part of the time. It took me less than three weeks to go from 182 to 198, and it has taken me 36 days (and counting) which is nearly 6 weeks to get back from 198 to 183. And then I start looking into the future and see months and months more of weight loss ahead before I reach my goal. Even if I lost 10 pounds a month, which is practically impossible at this weight, it would take me until October or November to get to goal. That is crazy, and daunting, and frustrating when I think about it in an impatient "get this darn weight off me!" mode.
Thank goodness I did not allow myself to think that way when I began this journey. Oh, I had a glimpse of it... a fleeting thought that "crap, I have 110+ pounds to lose, how on EARTH an I going to do this?" But I put it out of my mind and just took it day by day.
I will eat healthy for this one day.
I will train myself to eat and enjoy fresh local produce.
I will walk to the mailbox and back.
That is how I did it. I had to BLOCK myself from looking at the "big picture" and extending my thoughts into the future. Otherwise, it seemed like I had an elephant to eat. Impossible. But if all you have to eat is one bite, well, that can be done. So you just focus on your one bite and let time take care of the rest.
This is the mindset I need to get back to now. I have changed my life for the better in dramatic ways. It has taken time, and that is okay. The time would have passed anyway. Had I thought it was taking too long and given up, I would still weigh 278 pounds (or, more likely, 300+). If I now focus on the "omg when is this going to end, I just want to be done losing weight" feelings, I start thinking about eating off plan. That is pointless and will just make things worse. So I focus on
I am going to eat healthy foods today.
I will lift weights today and take a walk.
And to the end of each of those sentences, I add, "because it is good for me" and "because it helps me feel good today", NOT "to lose this freaking weight." The weight loss is a goal, but the primary goal has to be better health and a better life TODAY. The weight loss is then a by-product of a lifestyle change. And then it can be a joyful process.
Have a happy, wonderful, healthy 4th of July!
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