Monday, July 4, 2011

Impatience

Sometimes, I get very, very impatient about getting this weight off my body. I look at my little planner book where I write my weights, and I see that the last time I weighed 182 pounds was in mid-April. Three months later and I am waiting, waiting, weighing to see that 182 again. All that off-plan eating... it's frustrating. In that three months, I had spurts of a few days or a week here and there of being on plan but the rest of the time I was eating junk at least part of the time. It took me less than three weeks to go from 182 to 198, and it has taken me 36 days (and counting) which is nearly 6 weeks to get back from 198 to 183. And then I start looking into the future and see months and months more of weight loss ahead before I reach my goal. Even if I lost 10 pounds a month, which is practically impossible at this weight, it would take me until October or November to get to goal. That is crazy, and daunting, and frustrating when I think about it in an impatient "get this darn weight off me!" mode.

Thank goodness I did not allow myself to think that way when I began this journey. Oh, I had a glimpse of it... a fleeting thought that "crap, I have 110+ pounds to lose, how on EARTH an I going to do this?" But I put it out of my mind and just took it day by day.

I will eat healthy for this one day.
I will train myself to eat and enjoy fresh local produce.
I will walk to the mailbox and back.

That is how I did it. I had to BLOCK myself from looking at the "big picture" and extending my thoughts into the future. Otherwise, it seemed like I had an elephant to eat. Impossible. But if all you have to eat is one bite, well, that can be done. So you just focus on your one bite and let time take care of the rest.

This is the mindset I need to get back to now. I have changed my life for the better in dramatic ways. It has taken time, and that is okay. The time would have passed anyway. Had I thought it was taking too long and given up, I would still weigh 278 pounds (or, more likely, 300+). If I now focus on the "omg when is this going to end, I just want to be done losing weight" feelings, I start thinking about eating off plan. That is pointless and will just make things worse. So I focus on

I am going to eat healthy foods today.
I will lift weights today and take a walk.

And to the end of each of those sentences, I add, "because it is good for me" and "because it helps me feel good today", NOT "to lose this freaking weight." The weight loss is a goal, but the primary goal has to be better health and a better life TODAY. The weight loss is then a by-product of a lifestyle change. And then it can be a joyful process.

Have a happy, wonderful, healthy 4th of July!

13 comments:

Lori said...

I get so impatient too sometimes. I just want this to be over. Thanks for the reminder.
Lori

Undercover Dieting said...

I am just like you. Sometimes I think "it's all too much, I won't reach my goal, this will never work" etc. It totally stresses me out!

But when I just do what I know I should, without focusing on how long I have to do it, I'm okay. Because the truth is, it is not THAT hard. Sometimes, yes, it's hard. And I DO have to sacrifice. But for the most part, it is totally doable!

Amy said...

Ugh! I am in the same place. And instead of focusing on the positive changes I've made, all I can see is the stuff I don't like about my body. When you wrote that this time would have passed anyway, that really helped me see things differently. I'm really proud of you for getting back on track, that is much harder to do than the original start. Good work, just keep swimming!

Jill said...

Thank you for posting this. We all have heard "slow and steady wins the race" and "take it one day at a time" and all the cliches that implore us to be patient. While it is really good advice- it is not always easy. Losing a lot of weight is a challenging, frustrating and lengthy process. We will have good days and bad days. While we should strive to take it slowly- some days we just want to gripe about what lays ahead. Then we have to keep taking it one day at a time. Good job for working on getting your mind back on track and reminding me that I need to as well!!!

Shelley said...

I have been having that same kind of discussion with myself these past four weeks.
I am discouraged today, because I want to eat right, but there is such a bevy of unhealthy foods cooked today and THEY TASTE SO STINKING GOOD!!!!!
I just want to scream. So, I'm gonna go get an apple and pretend it is a fully loaded hot dog.
And tell myself that hot dog isnot worth me not being able to go bike riding with my little girl.
Happy 4th to you and yours. Be blessed

Deb Willbefree said...

Yep. Me, too. All of it.

I wrote a post a while back talking about needing to change my focus from LOSING WEIGHT to getting and maintaining HEALTH.

I even put a picture on my sidebar of a dog holding the word "health" in front of him to remind myself.

The change of focus post will come up if you clic the dog's picture and I've clicked it plenty, myself, since I often forget my own words. Often.

Thanks for the reminder. I'll take a deep breath and focus on today.

Deb

Deb said...

I completely understand the needing to block the "big picture". Just the other day I started thinking ahead about when I wanted to hit my 100 pound weighloss mark. And I ended up shoving 3 packages of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls down my gullet.

I truly think that starting to look too far ahead gave me a little temporary insanity. Now I am just celebrating my daily and weekly achievements. And no more Little Debbie since then.

Becca said...

I am very overweight. I am taking it all as it comes one meal, even one hour at a time. It is the best that I can do. I am working hard at changing how I look at how I deal with food. I cannot expect I will always be perfect at this, but I am trying. I hope to get there one day.

Karen said...

Yep! Sometimes I just want to be at my goal weight right this second. Now. No waiting. Then I remember that the time before goal is the time I MUST work to get at the root of what caused the gain.

And to build my new life so that my new habits won't lead to weight gain any more.

Tough at times, but in other ways, the time is a gift, the space where real and lasting change takes place.

Hang in there and keep up your healthy habits. It's all good.

Once we hit goal, then it's a matter of practicing and doing the habits, day in and day out.

I think of that Kia commercial- 'You can do this, or you can do that" My last birthday (middle of a decade) as the "that" and now I do that. I'm not going back to the pretend cardboard box!! LOL. I'm driving my life car like the cool hamsters.

It's just going to take some time to get there..... tough to wait.

dsbride said...

I have lost 77 lbs on my way to a goal of 110 lbs lost but lately, it has become harder than ever to lose anymore. In fact, it is so easy to regain some of this. If I am not 100 % perfect anyday, the next day there is at least a 2 lb gain. I am so discouraged. How can I continue to lose when I can't even maintain what I've lost so far?? I've been doing this for a year and a half now with no end in sight. I want to thank you for your blog, it helps me get thru some bad times.

Jennifer said...

Thanks for the reminder to take this journey one day at a time. One choice at a time.

Jennifer
http://wecanlosethepounds.blogspot.com/

Dinnerland said...

I hear you.. hang in there: one day at a time is the best way when the picture looks too big or the mountain seems too tall to climb.

vintage24andahalf said...

Amen sister! I am "back on the wagon" again after a slip up and so frustrated with myself that a lapse in judgement means I have to lose those same 10 pounds one more time. As you say, that sort of thinking doesn't do any good but it sure is nice to know that somebody else is going through the same struggles.