Friday, June 3, 2011

Big Mom, Big Kid

I have a question for you.

What do you think... what do you *honestly* think... when you see a very obese mother with her very obese young child? What do you think? Do you make any assumptions? How do you feel towards the mother? Towards the child?

What if they are at a buffet eating loads of fried chicken and french fries, or at McDonald's having Big Macs? What if they are walking briskly on a path together? What if they are eating a salad together?
Does any of that change your thoughts or feelings?

I am looking for honest answers here, from everyone. There is no right or wrong answer, as I am only asking about what you, personally, think. You can leave your thoughts anonymously if you like.

81 comments:

Susan said...

When I see obese people, I try not to stare at all. I just let them eat. That is how I feel when I am piling on my plate at the buffet. What I am thinking is that they like to eat like me and have the excess baggage to show. I also think I am always skinnier than them. Or I will think that they dress better than me or look better fat than me.

What I have a hard time seeing obese are doctors and nurses and especially if they are in the smoking section.

Anonymous said...

Something I have learned while on my own weight loss journey is that I don't know anything about anyone's journey but my own. Just because they're at a buffet doesn't mean they usually eat that way - same with the salads. They might have weight issues because of medications or recent stresses I couldn't begin to understand. I think I've become a bit more compassionate and I bit less likely to assume about people since transforming from a bigger person to a smaller and healthier one.

Susan said...

Oh I also have a hard time with young obese people that ride the electric grocery cart or have walkers or crutches. I just think, thank goodness I have not gone that far yet.
But I am always mindful not to stare or make them feel that I am thinking ill. Mostly it is a sorry feeling.

aisyah De Cullen said...

I saw an obese family a couple of days ago.. the whole family! well, I have to be honest, the first thing that went through my mind was genetic.. Well, genetic does play a role in determining body shape and stuff..but I think it all boils down to lifestyle and food choices. There was only one person in that family that was normally weight.. so that really strengthen my belief that it's all about choices.. =)

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I feel bad. Not judgmental, just sad, cause I know how they are living and feeling.

You do bring this judgement up every couple months. It seems like a hurdle you deal with. Thankfully, that is one of the few hurtles that I don't have to overcome.

Deb Willbefree said...

Well. The truth is that my first reaction is that I am appalled. I think it's child abuse. I see the child's obesity as something the mother did to him/her out of their own selfishness.

If they're eating a salad together or walking down a trail, I'm still appalled, but am glad that she's now trying to fix it.

I was a fat mom. 252 pounds thru most of the time my children were home. I was very careful about the kind of food my children were served. I did not have lots of junk for them or pop. We did not eat out; I cooked what everyone thought were good meals back then.

(Now we all think that they're too high in carbs and fat, but it was how everyone cooked in the 70s.)

Don't misunderstand, my children did not know that I was being careful. I did not make food an issue for them. I just didn't have high and empty calorie food in the house. I never mentioned their weight. (I snuck my ice cream after they went to bed. Yeah.)

My youngest son was thin like his dad. Very thin. He didn't begin to "beef up" until a couple of years ago when he got a sedentary job that included eating out a lot. It's sad and funny, because he is now trying to lose weight and is totally clueless. Of course, he only had 20 pounds to lose (if that) and has already lost 10 of them. He's 6'2" and weighs 205.

The older son was always a little stocky. And short. Not fat, but not thin either. No one ever teased him about being overweight, because he really wasn't. It was apparent, tho, that he had inherited my genes and that weight could become a problem for him at some point.

He preferred the starches at dinner, the younger one gravitated to the meat and veggies. The older son, who will be 36 in 2 weeks and is 5'9" tall, is now working on losing 40 pounds.

So, I get genetics. I do. Both boys had the same food offerred to them. One too thin, one in a normal range but edging towards being overweight.

But, here's where I get all appalled. (Man this is long.) It is when the child is obviiously, dangerously and unnaturally overweight and with an obviously morbidly obese mom. We should do better for our children so that they are spared what we have had to endure..

I am convinced that if I allowed cookies and candy and pop and McDonald's to be a significant part of my children's lives, the older one would have been an extremely overweight child.

I always feel a littly bad about my reaction, but there it is.

Diandra said...

To be honest, that depends on my mood. On a snarky day, the inner bitch in my head will throw around nasty comments. On good days - I don't care. Other people's bodies and food habits are none of my concerns.

He Took MY Last Name said...

I don't think - oh that mom is such a fat cow look what she did to her kid.

I think- Jesus if I don't stop with this path that is exactly where I am going to end up. 400 lbs and using a mobile cart to go grocery shopping because my legs can't support my weight anymore. My kids will be fat and miserable. I can't be that mom.

It's hitting home harder now that I am pregnant with my first child. This is where I have to make the changes

Anonymous said...

When I see obese mums with their little ones I really worry about them! I worry about the future for them and the role model they are teaching their children .
(I also wish that my own issues with food were better.)

Mobility scooters have been a great invention for truly disabled people- but now that they are being used by the obese- I worry- I want to say walk....walk. in my head .
I feel sad- very sad and concerned for them.

screaming fatgirl said...

I feel bad for both the mother and child. I don't think the mother wants to be obese nor does she want the child to be so, but probably she feels helpless to control the relationship with food that either of them have. I don't think it's "child abuse" because that assumes intention to harm. I think parents with fat kids actually want them to be happy and permit them to take comfort in food. I think psychological counseling needs to be done, but is unlikely to be carried out because people refuse to see that obesity is often (but not always) the outcome of a mental health issue. It's the symptom of a deeper disease.

I was once that kid with that mother, and I know there is a lot of pain behind both of those bodies. I feel sorry for them because I know they're both being judged by people who need to elevate themselves at the expense of others. I don't feel bad for them because they're fat, because I don't care about other people's bodies.

Princess Dieter said...

I tend to utter a short, silent prayer that I never return to being really big and that this person will have an epiphany (well, that makes the assumption they haven't), so they and their kids can have great changes.

I know what it feels like to have a hard time walking, to be out of breat carrying groceries, to wonder if I was the fattest person in the restaurant/store/party, etc. It's not a good feeling.

I always imagine they feel bad, too, and want something better. So, I wish them something better.

Now, if it's a buffet and mom is letting herself and the kid load up on crap, my thoughts are quite ungenerous. Moreso for the child. Adults do have to take responsibility for what is done to the children. And that includes food, imo.

I guess, too, I think it's a really bad idea for any obese person to go to an all=you-can-eat eatery. Just a bad, bad idea for bingers and overeaters who have serious weight issues. I haven't been to one in ages, and i don't intend to, and let's face it, people don't go there to get healthful food. People go there to pig out cheaply.

Mrs. WV said...

I agree with Deb Willbefree. I often think it is child abuse. The child does not have a choice in what they are eating, 'everything' they are provided is from their parents. The parents should know better, especially as they themselves are suffering all the negative consequences of obesity.
In saying that, I always feel very happy and proud when I see obese people trying to change their life, its is hard, and I admire their determination.

Anonymous said...

I feel really sorry for the kid, and then blame the mother for not taking care of her child. Just after, I feel like the worlds biggest hypocrite because I am obese myself.

I actually think having a weight problem may make us judge obese people more harshly because what we see resonate with what is inside of us.

My awful thoughts, I know.

Courtney Daisey said...

When I see am obese parent with an obese child, I see my own childhood. My mother was overweight. I never knew what she weighed when I was a kid but I am guessing that it was in the 250's. She cooked delicious, home-cooked meals like fried chicken and mashes potatoes, we drank sodas, and our taste buds were happy. Up until the 4th grade I was thin. My mom told me that my aunt said she worried about me because she could see my ribs. But 4th grade brought a computer into the house. I kept eating unhealthy foods and stopped going outside to play. I started spending my afternoons with Pac-Man and other computer games. The pounds started piling on, steadily at 10 pounds a year all the way through college. My age and my weight were the same with a zero added to the end of it, like at 18 I weighed 180 pounds. This kept going until I hit my highest weight of 277 pounds.

So when I look at an obese parent and an obese child, I see myself. I don't think negatively about it because I've been there. But I do think that the parents should make changes to help their kids understand the importance of healthy eating and exercise. Still...it's their own choice.

Anonymous said...

I'll be honest. I feel pity for the kid, contempt for the parent(s). I do judge. There are a lot of components to obesity but let's be honest: most of it is due to simple overeating. Each person's reasons for overeating are something only he or she can identify and address.

Anonymous said...

My first thought is that there is something horrible going on in their lives that is causing this. Overeating behavior is not a "happy" behavior. My mother and I were obese when I was a child. My mother was clinically depressed. She became a suicide when I was a teen. She attempted to take her life 6 times before she succeeded. The first time was when I was 6. That was when I started soothing myself with food. I learned this behavior from my grandmother. She was also obese. I think anyone who belittles any obese person is cruel and evil. I am no longer obese and my life is pretty good. But let me catch anyone, any stranger or any friend picking on or openly criticizing an obese person and I go ballistic on them. You just don't know. You can never know the pain that someone's obesity is expressing. Be kind. It could be you!
To the woman who said it is child abuse: That is insulting. You don't know what is going on. Don't speculate. That parent may be ill or have so much to handle that she is overwhelmed. The only reason you have to look down on someone is if you are about to help them up. If you refuse to help,then keep still.

timothy said...

i feel sad when i see obese kids, and i get angry when i see kids being abused by parents (thin or fat) like last night at 2am when the family were buying candy and monsters for their kids. really monsters??? since when does any child need an energy drink??? and allowing kids to learn bad habits and start down that horrible road is neglect/abuse. now an occasional treat or even a sm dessert is fine but why do we put our children through the hell we ourselves are in.
also my BIG problem is fat people who dress inappropriately if you're 200+ pounds they are NOT daisy dukes they are boss hogs! that'd be like me stuffing my 220 pound arse in a speedo, i mean come on have some self respect. and dressing your child in too tight clothes and belly baring outfits is not cute it doesn't make them fit in (even if they think they have to have it) we all know how cruel people can be so give em a shot! wow end of tirade do i have childhood fat issues or what! (on that note i got fat after my mama passed away when i was 8)

The Countess of Nassau County said...

I wonder why this woman is leading their child down the same very bumpy, dangerous road that they are on. To me it's like an alcoholic taking their kid to a bar, or buying your kid cigarettes.

If I see them on a path working out or eating a salad I think, "yeah, that's great, setting a good example". That mother owes it to her child NOT to take his/her own issues/addictions and thrust them on the child, so when I see that Mom/Dad getting out of their comfort zone for benefit of their child and themselves I think that's what a good parent does.

Anonymous said...

When I see an obese mom & obese child, I think she has an eating disorder and, sadly, has passed that on to her child.

When the mom is not so heavy and the child is quite obese, I wish she would take control and help her child lose the weight because I know how devastating being fat is to kids. And I do believe that it's something that's in the parent's control, although much harder as the situation gets worse.

I've battled a weight problem for most of my adult life, not always overweight but always engaged in it to some extent.

When my son was about 12 he started gaining a bit of weight and I just changed what kinds of foods were in the house and he got slim again without ever having any kind of issue.

I do understand that if someone's not in control themselves, in denial, that that can extend to their children as well.

Anyway, I feel bad for very obese people because I know what it's like. My top weight was close to yours. I don't think anyone ever gets that heavy without being in denial, allowing themselves not to notice the gain, not to really see themselves.

I remember the Carb Queen saying that even when she was in the high 400s and almost totally incapacitated, she convinced herself that she was totally hot.

Anyway, I think that the capacity for self-delusion is very strong and that overeating is a powerful addiction.
I'm happier to see them eating healthily or exercising because it shows that they're not completely deluded.

My own mom was one of those "give them cookies to solve anything" moms and she didn't try to help me lose weight until I was a 200 pound 12-year-old. And I know how I suffered.

And that's what I think about when I see very obese mothers and children. I wish them well, in any case, but my heart goes out to the kids especially.

Arabella

olivia said...

i see myself a few years ago--and it usually makes me sad.

most of the time i pray for them that they could have the kind of breakthrough that i did/have...

Tammy said...

Well I AM a "fat mom" and my oldest son, who is 13, has a weight problem as well. I'm about 5'8 and he's taller than me already..but that's not the point. The point is is he's a big boy. I feel bad about him weighing what he does. I know how hard being a big kid is. He is the stereotype, the "class clown." He's trying to lose some weight and I'm trying to help him. But it's hard to get him motivated. My younger two aren't heavy and I hope they never will be. So I do wonder what people think of ME when they see us together. I try not to judge other people who are big and I feel bad for the kid, because I know what they go thru.:( Phillip has a hard time at school sometimes..because he's taller and heavier than his classmates.

Vickie said...

I think

history repeats itself
if drastic changes are not made

there is no such thing as 'kid food'.

we are a product of what we were taught (by example) about food for the most part.

cook with children, don't bake

don't make food a substitute for love/time

don't do the secret food thing with kids (ice cream cone with dad, don't tell mom).

don't just talk the talk, do walk the walk.

we teach best by how we live every day.

Joy said...

It's so crazy that you wrote this because I was thinking of asking my blog readers for some advice on this very topic. I have a girlfriend who has always been heavy (she's actually lost a good bit recently but is still a good 50 lbs or so overweight). So anyway, she has two daughters. The older daughter was a thin child up until about 7-8 years of age. This is when my friend became pregnant with her second daughter. The second daughter has been overweight since she was very small (she's 3 now).

Now, 4 years later, both children are very overweight (not sure what 'obese' is for children but I'm sure they are both considered obese). So anyway, it kind of makes me mad because the one daughter was thin but then just blew up rapidly. My friend has horrible nutrition (the kind of person who even picks the lettuce and tomato off a burger because she hates veggies) but I don't know what to do about it. She's very defensive when it comes to her kids, and since I don't have children of my own, I don't feel right saying anything but the whole matter really upsets me. My friend knows how difficult it is to be overweight in one's youth so I feel she should do something to get her girls on the right track. But I'm unsure of how to broach this topic...

Christel said...

Someone mentioned scooters in stores being the disabled, not the obese. I just wanted to point out that you can be both obese and disabled. I know some peoe who were never obese until they became disabled and suddenly had great difficulty exercising.

I also think it's kind of messed up that people would judge me when I ate junk food in public at 205 lbs, but when I do so at a healthy weight now it's not even a blip on anyone's radar.

I honestly tend not to notice how big people are or aren't. Unless they are far to one extreme or the other it doesn't really catch my attention.

Catherine H. said...

In the buffet situation, I feel sorry for them. I assume they don't know anything about real food, like grass-fed meat and traditional methods of preparing legumes, organic vegetables, healthy fats, etc., and I assume that even if they did, they couldn't afford it. My attitude would definitely change depending on what they were eating--an obviously low-carb meal would give me hope that they could reclaim their health. And I would feel anger at the government and food industries for sanctifying carbs when they're actually the cause of most of our health problems, as I usually do. I also assume the mother has particularly poor judgement or discipline methods or both, because her child's nutrition is entirely in her hands, and I can't think of any reason for an obese child other than the feeding of very bad food the child doesn't need. Unless she absolutely couldn't afford anything better--but then they wouldn't be at a buffet.

Anonymous said...

You asked for honesty so here it is. I think "I'm so glad I care enough about myself to have never gotten "that big", and thank God that I never let my kids get that big. I have been over 200 pounds many times, but I usually draw my own line there and starve myself to loose 20 or so pounds when I get over 200. I always, always feel fat and judged.
I also think "the only way to let kids get really obese is to feed them juice, pop, sugary soft drinks and loads of high carb junk."
I was terrified of having obese kids, and having them blame me. I only gave my kids milk or water to drink. Period. It's bad enough being fat myself and the guilt that goes with that...I could never stand it if I had done the same thing to my kids.
So usually I think "it's all about choices! Can't you see the choices you make are NOT good ones?!"

Anonymous said...

I assume the child is not buying or preparing food himself, so yes my first instinct is to think the parents are overfeeding him. I know there are medical reasons that could be involved in large weight, but if the parent is very large that is the assumption, overfeeding. I worked with a woman who went to prison because she left her 720 lb daughter at home everyday on the floor surrounded by food. The daughter eventually died and the mother was held liable.

PaulaM

kara said...

I will admit straight up that I judge. As one of the anonymous posters said: I feel pity for the child and contempt for the parent. Adults make choices to be obese (for the most part - true medical reasons for obesity are very rare). Children don't have that option. They have to eat what they're fed. They have only the guidance of their parents to go by.

Was I obese? Yes. I lost 100+ lbs and I'm glad I did. But when I was obese, it was a choice I was making every time I put food in my mouth or sat on my fat behind rather than exercising.

And when I see an obese parent feeding an obese child junk food, it makes me angry.

If you want honesty.

Anonymous said...

First, I feel very sad for the kids, for the issues that they have to deal with now and the issues they will have to deal with in the future because they are overweight. Then I feel angry towards the parents for what they are doing to their kids. I just can't understand why people would let their kids become overweight. They should be feeding their kids nutritious meals and having them be active so it won't happen. I have a skinny friend whose four-year-old daughter is overweight because she eats so much and isn't active. My friend says she never imagined that one of her kids would be a "bigger girl" and I don't understand why she doesn't do something about it now, especially since my friend eats good and is a runner. I am overweight. I would like to lose about 60 pounds. I have three kids ranging in age from 6 to 11 and none of them are overweight. They are very active in sports and playing outside, and I don't let them eat junk food or drink sugary drinks, except once in a while if we go to a party. My kids have been raised in a way that if we do go to a party and there is a bowl of chips out and a veggie tray, they will eat more of the veggies than the chips, so I think I'm doing a good job raising children that make good choices. I have a family member that is very, very skinny, and she has four kids. None of them are overweight. In fact, one of them looks like he's anorexic, and I get just as angry with her and the way she feeds her kids as I do at the people that are making their kids fat, because her kids do not eat anything healthy. The live on hot dogs, potato chips, candy and soda pop. Even though they aren't overweight, I think she is doing a disservice to them and it is going to cause health problems in the future. Sorry this is so long, but I just feel so strongly that kids need to be active and eat nutritious food and be the best they can be without being burdened with health problems.

Dawn

Miss Erika said...

Several times my boyfriend and I have been grocery shopping and seen morbidly obese people struggling to do the simplest chore, and we have both looked at each other and said the exact same thing: "Don't ever let me get like that. If I do, take me out back and shoot me". We feel sorry for them because they struggle so much. And now that I have my own weight loss goals, all I want to do is walk up to that person and say, "You can take control of this. Let me help you". But I know people would be offended if ever did that to them, so I keep my mouth shut and try not to stare.

When I see obese people eating healthy food or exercising, I will usually stare at them long enough for them to realize I'm looking at them and make eye contact with me, and then I do my best to give my biggest, most encouraging smile and sometimes even a thumbs up.

But it does make me sad and angry to see obese parents obviously not making changes to help their obese children. Like when they're ahead of me in line at the gas station buying their kids candy bars. I can't help but wonder, do they not see the damage they're doing to their child? This child is innocent. S/he knows only what you teach him/her, and I know exactly what kind of tortured life he/she is heading for. I've been there, and I would never wish it on a child.

bosox143 said...

The firs thing I need to say is AWESOME!!! This is my first time on your blog and the before and after pictures look great!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! You're doing a great job!!

When I see obese people I try to not think at all. Some people have body types or disorders that are beyond their control. I guess I'm just an optimist...I don't want to think that people are lazy or are content to live in their present conditions (obese).

I guess I just try to worry about myself and if someone wants my opinion or some advice then I will be happy to share it with them.

Amy @ Findingfitme said...

This is a tough one for sure. Judging an obese person is an accepted form of discrimination, probably one of the last. We have no right and should never judge someone on the color of their skin so why is ok to do so with weight and lifestyle choice. Yes, being overweight is 90% choice (mental or physical) and 10% genetic. Yes, you can gain weight from an injury but you still can control your eating and adjust the amount based on how you can move. Mental illness can affect your weight but you still have a choice to seek treatment. That being said doesn’t mean I am above it all.

Now 40 pounds less I think I have less tolerance than before. You have a choice. No, that choice is not just about food, mental plays a big part. But, there is still choice there. You can choose to work on the mental aspects of why you make your lifestyle choices. I am fat, my 2 kids and hubby are not. I have family members with obese kids. It makes me so sad. I can’t imagine the hurdles those kids face. Especially when they decide to become healthy (maybe as an adult). I think regardless of the situation I honestly would be judgmental (in my head only) but yes more so in the buffet situation. The statics are staggering. If one parent is obese the child has a 50% chance of becoming obese. If both parents are then, it jumps to 80%. Something needs to happen or it will get far worse.

I also believe education, income and availability of healthy food choices plays a big factor. When you can get a double cheeseburger at the mc arches for $1.49 where is the motivation to go home and cook your own meal. It is hard work fixing yourself.

Great question, I will make a post on my blog and link back.

bbubblyb said...

I'm going to post my comment from the heart instead of reading everyone else's first. For me, if I see an obese person I feel a lot of compassion for them because I will never forget being them. But I will be honest when I see parents and obese children I feel a lot of anger at the parents. I know in my own situation my daughter does have a few extra lbs on her and I do blame myself for that from my old habits that she saw and mimicked. I'm not talking about a child with a few extra lbs but I am talking about children that are morbidly obese. I just don't know how in a good conscious those parents can not want better for their children than themselves. I'm sure there might be a few circumstances where I am judging wrongly but I'm guessing most of the time my assumptions are correct that that parent has given their children their own issues with food.

I know when I was obese I tried to hide my food addiction but being honest with myself my kids saw it and my daughter did pick up some of my habits. It's a hard balance and I know it's not easy. I know I got very honest with my daughter and the whole family when I was getting healthy. I know I stopped buying the crap food because really NO ONE needs that stuff. It really is about the emotions we tie to the food from our past be it good or bad. I'm not saying I don't bake a cake for my kids or ever eat crap food sometimes but I definitely try to make it on occasion rather than daily.

I'm sure some of my anger too comes from looking back at myself too and my old behaviors and feeling guilty so of course that isn't fair to the other people I am judging.

I know bottom line I shouldn't judge others at any point but with obesity I just have so many emotions.

murgatroidgerow said...

I am the daughter of an obese mother. We always had ice cream, chips and pop in the house. We went out to fast food restaurants often. I have been obese off and on all my life. Currently I am slightly over weight but exercise daily and make healthy food choices(just too many calories).I have two children(one 20 another 16) who are lean and healthy. They rarely eat junk food and only have desert or a treat maybe once a week. They seem to be free of the struggles that I face daily. As children I emphasized healthy choice and ate in "secret" when I binged. I know that obesity is genetic but think it is really wrong to not even try to help your children avoid this nightmare. If you smoked you wouldn't give your child a cigarette, why would you feed your child candy and soda?

Anonymous said...

Ok, if we're talking *morbidly* obese, then I feel sorry for both of them. I have witnessed very, very young children in the 3rd or 4th grade who are so overweight that they huff and puff at having to walk through the grocery store. I've seen such children with sweat shining on their foreheads, breathing hard, when their mother asks them to go two aisles over and grab an item and bring it back. That is terribly sad.

I run in very feminist circles, and nowadays, with the fat acceptance movement, it is seen as incredibly "backwards" to believe that being overweight has to do with over eating and under exercising. But, I'm sorry, *it does*. Are some people naturally bigger than others? Certainly! I know some people with naturally toned bodies, too, who are size 12 and fit and healthy, I know others who are naturally going to be about a size 2 if they are eating and exercising normally.

HOWEVER.

I take GREAT exception to the notion, bandied about in Fat Acceptance circles, that ANYONE'S body "naturally" wants to be at 300, 350, 400, 500+ pounds. So, all that being said, I feel sorry for the mother and child because clearly their is a deeper issue. They might not know how to eat healthily, they might have a family tragedy or a terrible homelife that causes them to drown their sorrows in food, they might be on limited income, living in a food desert, and only able to get very cheap, processed, starchy/sugary foods.

I think our country does a TERRIBLE job of educating people on nutrition, and it starts in the schools with the crap food kids are fed thanks to meat, dairy, and corn subsidies. I honestly don't feel anger if the mother is obese and the child is obese, I feel sorrow. I might feel anger at the system, and at our society, for being so screwed up when it comes to food.

Janis said...

"Make sure your own mask is secure before helping your child."

Anonymous said...

I'm reading the comments and crying because I feel ashamed. I'm an obese mom and my 12 year old special needs son is obese too so is his father. My other 2 children are not.I'm the only person in my family of 12 that is obese everyone else is stick thin. I have been heavy since toddler hood. I'm sad because I know better. Where ever I go I know people are judging me and giving me those looks. You know the looks. I don't think that's right. I do not judge people because no one knows the circumstances or what any one is trying to do. I'm trying to be a better parent and do my best.

Erin said...

Honestly, I think it is a manifestation of how unhappy the mother is that she can't at least spare her child the pain she is experiencing. I feel sad for everyone in the family. I have an obese friend who busted her ass to make sure her daughter didn't follow in her footsteps. It can be done, but it wasn't easy.

Forty Pound Sack said...

I feel bad for the child, assuming that he or she isn't learning proper nutrition. Studies say that obese children have a vastly greater chance of becoming obese adults. It seems, to me, an unfair burden to place on a child.

Bonnie said...

I think 95% of weight is genetics

Anonymous said...

I think "like mother like child" and feel she's passing on her unhealthy habits since kids mostly mimic the eating patterns of their parents.

If I see them at a buffet eating lots of unhealthy food I think "it doesn't have to be this way!!!! You CAN make better choices!!!"

If I see them out for a brisk walk I think "well, there ya go! you're TRYING to make a change, good for you!!!".

I have lots of hang ups about food and overweight people. I'm among them and have been my whole life but I *am* trying to change. Sadly there's no hope for my husband's children. I've tried for years to pass along good habits and the desire to TRY and make better choices but when you are only around them 4 days a month and the rest of the time they're fed fast food, candy, junk, sugar and allowed to sit on their fanny's playing on the computer or playing video games, there's the problem.

Diana said...

Without reading any other comments on this, here are my true and honest thoughts.

My heart goes out to them. Both the mother and the child. I feel empathy because I know how incredibly difficult it is to live a healthy lifestyle.

I know the mother is in pain for herself, but even more for her child. She knows what her child is feeling and will feel as they get older. She knows other children will make fun of her child. She knows people are probably condemning her as a mother for sentencing her child to a life of obesity. She knows the horrors of being overweight. The mother's heart is probably breaking, but she doesn't know how to stop the cycle.

Truly, all of this goes through my head and it just breaks my heart. I think it's an epidemic in the United States for adults and children, and I don't understand why someone doesn't do something about it.

I believe a lot of the food issues people are dealing with are really emotional issues. Showing what you should eat on a plate (the replaced food pyramid) does not address those issues. The issues are much deeper. Seriously, I really think most people know what to eat and how much to eat to be healthy. That's not the real problem. It's something much bigger.

Of course, if I had the answer myself, I'd be skinny. I just don't know how to fix it. :)

Anonymous said...

To be totally honest, I don't have a dramatic or emotional reaction at all. I happen to think bodies are interesting and I like to look at all the different variations that are out there. So yes, I do notice the shapes and sizes that I pass in the course of a day, but I experience it as curiosity/delight in the wide range of humanity. I confess I often think that fat kids are cute. But mostly, my reaction to fat folks is no different than when I see a woman really thin thighs or a pregnant woman, or someone truly short or tall. I'm interested in the human parade with all its variation. I swear I am not a hippie.
I never realized how out of step I was with the average person's reaction until I read the rest of the comments here. I keep the strangers I pass stuck in an eternal present; I do not reflect on how folks came to be the size they are, I don't think about their futures, and I don't speculate on their habits.
Some of my reaction is carryover from decades in a profession where it's important to refrain from writing my own narratives over what I'm observing. Second, I'm childless, so my reaction to children lacks the depth of connection a parent would have. Finally, I've struggled with eating disorders all my life, lost 50 pounds two years ago and kept it off. (I'm now an unremarkable size 8). I've spent most of my life policing, shaming and monitoring my own body but I've never treated others with the same level of anger and contempt I blast myself with. I'm working towards being able to see my own body with the same calm observation I use for others.

Janis said...

"I think it's an epidemic in the United States for adults and children, and I don't understand why someone doesn't do something about it."

That's what most of the commenters are saying here ... with "someone" being the parent. Eventually, that's where the choices are being made, and that's where the better choices need to be made. There's no "someone" out there who will save us from ourselves.

"I really think most people know what to eat and how much to eat to be healthy. That's not the real problem. It's something much bigger."

I think it's something much smaller and more personal. Like I said above, eventually it isn't someone from outside ourselves will will save us. It's each individual, making better choices. I think we're all looking for the solutions to all of our problems to be bigger, so we can solve the problem once and it's solved for everyone, everywhere. It's not like that. Even if it IS a world-scale problem, if we wait for the world to change, we'll be covered in dust. We need to learn how to live as well as we can even in a world that's out to get us, no matter what the problem we're confronting is. If we can only live well in Paradise, we'll die choked and miserable, whether weight is the problem or not.

It's a million problems that need to be confronted and solved a million times by each one of those million people.

Even though I'm one of those people who "can't possibly understand" and "has nothing to say about it" and somehow is believed to have no problems at all in life and have a perfect, wonderful life filled with winning lottery tickets and no issues whatsoever and no pain and no heartbreak and no loss. I can say this. There are a MILLION problems and addictions and emotional issues and childhood fears that must be met and overcome individually within the space of each of our own skulls in the context of a screwed up world, day by say. Weight loss is not the only such issue. Damn it, I may not know weight loss, but I know that.

I don't want to make it seem like I'm leaping down your throat because honest to God I'm not trying to jump at you, and I don't want to leave this huge comment, so I apologize for both. But eventually we need to take the bull by the horns and not wait for rescue. In real life, Rapunzel would have died up in that tower.

Winner at a Losing Game said...

I am sorry to say that I am judgmental about it. I don' t want to hurt feelings and would never say anything to do so to the person, but I just feel a little angry about it. It does not seem fair to the child and having children to me means you have a responsibility greater than your self to do the right thing and it includes nutrition. I am by no means thin. I don't so much feel angry about the mother being fat/obese, it is about the food and modeling for the child.

Susannah said...

When I see an obese parent and an obese child, I do feel sad. I see the pain they are in and the pain to come.

I believe that here in North America, we are steered towards an unhealthy obesity causing diet by all types of publicity, grocery store design, cost...many factors push the average consumer towards sugary high carb cheap food. And I believe that is what drives obesity. And ginormous corporate profits.

It takes a big big effort to resist this push. And, as some commentators have said, we don't know what is happening in a stranger's life. Many people don't have it in them to resist. Both mentally and physically.

Solution? I have no idea if this can be changed. But we can always show compassion, even just in our thoughts.

Dawn said...

I always think.....thank goodness, I feel a sense of utter relief.
I know its not nice of me, but i think...at LEAST...at LEAST I may be obese and people might be judging me but at least my kids have lived a totally different, slim, healthy way. i feel at least even if I got everything else wrong in life, I didn't pass it on to my tall, slim beautiful daughters.
This question brought out some less than pretty thoughts of ours didn't it! I'm sorry

Anonymous said...

It just makes me feel so sad for that child, and even the mother. Growing up, I was the obese kid with the obese mother, as was my sister. "Luckily," I was a very sickly child and slimmed down by the end of kindergarten for that reason, but when I see pictures of myself as a two-year old wearing size 6X clothing (!!!) I want to cry for that little girl.

Sadly, my mother, an immigrant, was a terrible role model and did not buy much healthy foods. She loved breads, fatty lunch meats like salami, lots of cheese, and that was the kind of food in my house. We grew a few vegetables in our garden, but she was such a terrible cook that she'd fix them by boiling them with pasta and potatoes, and dumping olive oil into them for flavor. YUCK!

Being Italian, however, she could make very wonderful carb-rich, fatty foods, like tomato sauce (heavy and rich with meat), fried meatballs, and lots of pasta and bread.

We were not permitted to exercise, I remember being yelled at for running till I was out of breath and my heart was beating fast, as though I had done something dangerous! I begged for a dance class, my mother refused. I don't think she saw any value in exercise.

Sadly, my sister remained obese and so taunted and bullied at school that she started starving herself at age 8 (!) and ended up almost dying from anorexia and bulimia. She is now an obese woman in her forties.

I gained some weight when I hit puberty and my mother criticized me relentlessly for being fat. All I knew was to starve myself, I did, often passing out. I still have health issues from that (heart damage, etc.) Anyway, once I moved out at 18, I took charge of my eating and excercise and lost nearly 50 pounds, which I kept off for 20 years (until I went on fertility drugs, gained weight in pregancy w/bedrest, and then developed an endocrine disorder from a pituitary tumor.)

So here I am. Luckily, my little DS has good eating habits and is very active. My DH lost 60 pounds, and is a good role model. Despite having been 100 pounds overweight, I have always eaten rather healthy (weight gain was from endocrine disorder, early menopause, etc.)

So hopefully, my little boy will never have to deal with the hell of obesity. And hopefully, thanks to Medifast, I'll escape from it too.

Sarah With Love said...

I often feel sorry for them, i come from a family of big people and i wonder if the parents have any idea what sort of life they are creating for their child. I got bullied about my parents really bad, and because i had been brought up to associate food with comfort, i turned to food for support and my family thought nothing of it. I wish my mum had taken me into hand and helped me tackle the weight issue, i wouldnt be struggling with it now. The problem is obesity has become norm for a lot of people so many dont see it as such an issue as we often see obese people.

Its a shame, the children wont understand what impact it will have on them until they are older, and then its harder to do something about it.

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking about this last night. I work in a resturant and I served a table where the obese parents and their obese children EACH went through 6 regular sodas during the course of their meal. I feel that allowing their children (who were all under 14 or so) to drink that much soda is essentially a form of child abuse.

Anonymous said...

I get angry at the mother, then at myself. I am either almost to the obese mark or just hit it. I have a thyroid problem and a blood suger problem (it falls too low and then I go out and eat crap). I cook healthy food for my children they eat fruits and vegs at every meal.
I am clinically depressed, my eldest daughter is also, in fact she has been so stressed for so long that she has developed PCOS. She cannot lose weight, she is full of male hormones and we are just now addressing it.
BTW I have 8 children, only eldest is obese, she is the closest to me and has been through alot right alongside with me. We are truly not fat because of what we eat, but how we eat, which is once a day.
Its awful, I have let her pick up my bad habits which are the way we handle stress, which screwed up hormones so badly and I do think it is a sort of abuse, although totally unintended.
So when I remember all of that, I feel ashamed taht I judge anyone because we truly dont know why they are fat,of cours eit is what and how we eat, but why do we eat like that, is what we dont know! And some of the reasons are very deep rooted and hard to get rid of.

Mother of Many

Anonymous said...

I used to feel sorrow and disgust, but in the past few years I've spent very little time with "normal" people as my life revolved around taking my autistic daughter from appointment to appointment, therapy to therapy. I've met a lot of other parents of special-needs children and have learned that one of the primary side-effects of many prescribed medication is weight gain, often substantial weight gain. I come from a skewed perspective, admittedly, but when I see an obese child I'm thinking disabilities and medications, not french fries and buffet feasts.

I don't think there are very many people who want to be obese or wish that fate on their child.

Anonymous said...

I don't have any children but I do have 2 nephews that are overweight and I am VERY MUCH overweight and I do notice that when I go out to eat or any where with either of my nephews I ALWAYS GET THE LOOKS....

Marie said...

I'm annoyed at the child abuse allegations in the comments.

I know what child abuse is. Letting your child eat too much is not child abuse.

If someone is abusing their child, they need to be arrested and put away, and their child needs to be placed in another home.

If jail and a new family aren't needed for that kid; it isn't child abuse.

Anonymous said...

Honestly?
Ok, here goes.

When I see an obese Mom and child, I usually compare them to myself and my child.
And it usually makes me feel better about myself and my child.
Horrible? Maybe.. Honest? Absolutely.

I do not think it is child abuse. Everyone has their own story.
And since I am from an income bracket that can afford
organic and fresh..not everyone can.
We all pay the same amount for groceries, whether we make $6 an hour or $100,000 a year.

Sarah said...

Heavy kids bum me out now. I was 240 by freshman year of high school, always the fat kid. Growing up my Mom was 300+ pounds. I know the looks and this was back in the 1980's when fat kids weren't as common as they are now.

I try not to judge. It took me 5 years to lose the weight and even with 6+ years of maintenance I wonder... Will gentics play a role or will my now firmly established healthy eating habits be enough to pass on to my child. At 5 months pregnant I think about this a lot.

It's also a conversation I have had with my mom a bunch.. she is now 240 ish. A vast improvement over the 300 pounds of my youth. I do not blame her... she had a lot going on, career, jerk husband (my dad) twin girls. She's a nurse, you would think she would have known better but she did THE BEST SHE COULD. When I look at people I try so hard not to judge I just hope and pray that like my own mom (who is so amazingly awesome I can only hope to be half the woman she is some day) that they are doing the best that they can do too.

Anonymous said...

I also feel sad for the child. Having grown up with obese parents and now in my 20s having to go through the struggle of learning a healthy lifestyle (when I could have just been raised with one all along, saving me alot of issues), I feel so sad to see kids in the same situation. But I wouldn't say I judge the parents - how can you expect them to raise healthy kids if they can't manage to lead a healthy life of their own? Its not easy - its a daily struggle for me, even now, so I can't just say that being an obese parent to an obese child makes them a bad parent, just not a healthy role model.

Claire said...

It makes me sad. I think "That poor kid has a long road ahead if he/she is starting out this young and that big." I wonder why they (both adults and kids) are so large. Is it a family legacy? Has there been a family tragedy that translated into stress eating? So, I think, mostly, I sympathize and feel badly for them. I do, admittedly, sometimes wonder (rather judgmentally) how a mother could let that happen to their child, especially a young child.

Claire said...

And I just realized, I have family where the mom is big, and her son is the same. He is only 13. He has been big since he was little. I think she is large because of a chronic illness (and her mom is large, as well, so there's that), and he is large because he was a preemie, and they made him eat when he was little. It turned into an obsession with him. He can put away food like nothing I've ever seen.

Anonymous said...

I think...please, please get a grip on your relationship with food. Youa re an adult and as painful as it is to be overweight, its so much harder on children and teens. Kids are cruel with the teasing.

Your child is going to miss out on so much fun and life if they are overweight.

ON the other hand..if you make a huge issue about the weight and food, it becomes a power struggle...what's a person to do??

definingmore said...

This one hits close to home. My sister-in-law and nephews are overweight. My youngest neph especially. The children never had routine--they ate on the run all the time. Now they have eating issues that I worry about. As an aunt I try to be supportive and when they are over to provide beverages other than pespi and activity other than video games.

Mike said...

I just had too much to say to post as a comment and it ended up a blog post Blog post.
Thanks for the thought provoking questions Lynn.

Anonymous said...

You still have me thinking about this topic Lyn. I already posted earlier and just had to add something else. I say this not to offend anybody and yes I still struggle daily with trying not to eat all I want and work out at the gym. I still have a lot of weight to lose myself. We have to keep in mind that these answers are not the typical answer of the "public at large". Everybody in here is either trying to lose now, they have been heavy in the past, or are trying to help somebody else lose weight. Let's face it, many of the rest of the world IS judging people who are very heavy. People who read diet blogs, especially women, tend to be sympathetic and not say anything to upset each other. "Oh you ate three pizzas last night, well try and do better tomorrow". I'm not sure we aren't each others worst enemies and what we need is more honesty and less coddling. I know for some people it's not helpful if anybody questions or criticizes their plan, but isn't it needed?

PaulaM

Anonymous said...

Wow. So much for hoping not everyone was talking or wispering about me. Gues I will be staying inside and just eat so as not to bother everyone I meet.

Christine said...

The world is full of judgement...how you look, what clothes you are wearing..how you speak. When I see obese moms these are my thoughts: (lol, where ARE THE DADS IN THIS EQUATION?) I was an overweight mom. My kids were thin. It may be hypocritical to eat crap and not feed it to your kids. But quite frankly, if you are in that position you do what you should do, not adhere to some bizarre code where you abdicate your responsibility to maintain your ability to quantify your integrity quota. To tell them don't do as I do. It is called love. They may call you a hypocrite, but if you are in this situation, deal...it isn't about your fat or your integrity. It is called knowing the pain involved and wanting them to NOT feel that pain. Just like if I were a heroin addict...would I want my kids doing heroin? NO. When and if you know better and do better that is great, until that time, Protect your kids. You know mcdonalds is high in fat and low in nutrition. This idea that fat people don't know that is bunk (and extremely condescending). And if you think people are judging you, you are right. They will judge you fat or thin. Let that affect your daily movements, and you might as well give up now. It isn't about others, it is about YOU...Your life, your kids and your happiness. choosing food over living is a sign that you have an addiction and need to face it and get help NOW. My opinion of big parents with big kids is that the parents need help and need to realize that they are setting a bad example just like drunks or verbal abusers (which tick me off worse than anything), or people in abusive relationships. I gave a bad example when I was obese, and now I am giving a new ,and hopefully good, one. Does giving a better example make me superior? NO. We all have our issues to deal with. Fat is just a visible symbol of an internal issue. Each day you create your life anew with Your intentions and actions. Begin again. You can change things. This is what I think.

Anonymous said...

I feel sad for them because what is being passed along is a habit of poor eating and choices which is likely tied to emotions. A very young child may not being going through comments from others quite yet but they soon will be. I have been heavy for a very long time and have lied to myself for years, especially as I get older that I couldn't lose the weight and was stuck even though I was exercising daily. Well now I'm not stuck because I've made a whole hearted effort to eat healthier and wish that I made this HABIT stick when my girls were young so they wouldn't have to struggle with their weight and perceptions of them as they are not adults. I have recently been in a weight loss group and I feel very educated about healthy diets just not a practicer until late and am amazed of the questions that were asked such as "Isn't eating frosted flakes with whole grains just as good a bowl of oatmeal" This is just an example of how the food industry tries to convince us (Lie) that their foods are just as healthy. We have an abundance of information available to us but I think more of us as a community need to take the time to help each other and educate in simple ways by sharing healthy recipes and finding food that is accessible to all income levels.

I agree with some of the comments made that we are a sympathetic audience leaving our feedback. I always feel like eyes are on me because of my weight even to the point of when I exercise I feel less of a person compared to others. I'm working on shedding this mentality but its hard work. Keep that in mind the next time you see someone obese that maybe today is the day they are going to turn their life around and their family by changing habits or maybe they already are.

Anonymous said...

It makes me so sad to see children who are overweight. How can a parent, an overweight parent at that, let their child get like that? Wouldn't you do everything in your power to protect your child? Why would you set your child up for a lifetime of criticism, shame, embarrassment and being unhealthy? Do what you want to yourself but keep your kids healthy - stop the cycle!

Anonymous said...

As a recovering food addict, formerly obese person, and professional who works in the area of child abuse and neglect let me say this. Allowing your child to get obese by itself is not child abuse. Allowing your child to get obese and stay obese or continue to gain weight despite medical advise that you are putting your child at risk for serious medical concerns IS CHILD ABUSE and yes, in some cases is criminal. A medical professional would actually have to make a child abuse report if in his/her opinion a parent was failing to follow his/her advise with regard to the care of a child who was at risk of sometimes, fatal diseases such as diabetes. Children do die from these weight related diseases and their deaths could have been avoided. That is the sad truth. Those of you that are insulted by others who call it child abuse pay attention. An obese child suffering from asthma or diabetes is no safer in his/her parents' home who is not following treatment that a child whose parents are doing doing drugs and not feeding their child regularly. Believe me that parent on drugs has many sad issues to deal with too. She has chosen drugs, just another form of self medicating.
So when I see that parent I wonder if she has had a doctor tell her yet that she is at risk of losing her child in more ways than one if she does not start changing the way she parents.

Anonymous said...

everyone thinks that of me even of we are walking. Holy crap, you guys really don't have enough to worry about in your lives.

jeannie

Marie said...

Child abuse is strangling your child, breaking your child's bones, sexually assaulting your child, terrorizing your child, locking your child in a car trunk, burning your child, drowning your child.

It is NOT buying your fat kid a candy bar, letting your fat kid order a soda at a restaurant, or allowing your fat kid to watch tv instead of go out and play.

In cases of real child abuse, the child would be better off in foster care.

In the case of a fat kid, the child would not be better off in foster care.

For anyone to imply that having potato chips available to an overweight child is somehow equivalent to sexual molestation or bloody beatings is absolutely ridiculous.

Yes, overweight can bring on real medical issues. However they pale in comparison to the issues that surface when a child is taken from their parents and placed in foster care. If it's really child abuse, there should be criminal prosecution and removal from the home. It it's not, than stop calling it child abuse.

the phrase "child abuse" is tossed about far to easily it seems to me.

Marilyn said...

Whatever happened to MYOB? How is it of ANY concern to you what OTHER PEOPLE are doing? Isn't it enough to get/keep your own affairs in order? The only way we can teach other people is by setting a good example, while watching someone else's plate is intrusive and divisive. Who died and made YOU boss? Take care of your OWN stuff and stop passing judgement on anybody else!

Anonymous said...

There are many forms of child abuse and it covers a wide range of abuse and neglect issues. You can have your opinion about what you think constitutes abuse. I am telling you legally if you fail to follow medical advise that your child is facing possibly fatal consequences due to medically related obesity issues this is a risk issue that is legally reportable child abuse.

Katherine said...

I just feel sad. I was the obese kid with the obese mom and I never felt excessively bad about it then. I knew that fat was bad because I got teased about it, but I did not think our eating patterns were abnormal. If, as an adult, I ever brought it up that maybe they were abnormal, my mom shut me down by saying that she didnt put the excess food in my mouth. But I didnt know any better, and no one stopped me from eating in excess. If I asked for more (Dominos pizza, McDonalds cheeseburgers, TGI Fridays vanilla cokes, fried chicken), I got it.

If I have kids, I would not make them feel bad or give them a complex about eating certain foods, but I would not allow them to become obese. I have lasting health problems and emotional scars from being an obese child. I would never wish those on anyone. I get close to tears when I see a very young, very overweight child.

Carrie said...

Yes, I hate seeing overweight parents and their children. It does strike a nerve but not a judgmental one. I do feel bad for both and do offer up a prayer of both gratitude for not being in that situation and help for them. I will say this. I have lost (so far) 80 lbs. so I know what it is to be obese. ( I still need to lose about 40 more.)

I have 2 kids. One is stick thin but eats EVERYTHING he can get his hands on. I really have to reign him in because if he were left to his own devices he would eat nonstop sugar, bread and chips from morning till night. He despises veggies so I try and load him up on fruit and try to be so careful about his diet but, honestly, am not as successful as I would like to be.

But, here's the kicker. My daughter, on the other hand, could stand to lose about 10- 15 lbs. She looks great in most clothes but in a swimsuit you can tell she needs to lose a few lbs. However, she is SO careful about what she eats. Almost to the obsessive side. She LOVES fruits AND veggies and she watches every gram of sugar she eats. Most of the time she only eats a few bites of her dinner because she doesn't want to overeat. She always stops at any meal when she is full. She exercises as well. She is not obsessed with it but is very conscientious about monitoring her food intake. She indulges in sweets on occasion but tries hard not to overdo it. But, darned if she didn't inherit my lousy metabolism.

So my question is this... if someone saw my son scarfing down cookies and cake would they give it another thought? I seriously doubt it. But if they saw my daughter doing that, what would they think? More than likely they would be wrong in their judgement.

My own mother is stick thin and obsessed over my weight putting me on my first diet when I was 7 years old. I was NOT fat, BTW. She also made me clean my plate at dinner but never allowed snacks in the house. Considering I ate lunch at school at 11:15 and she did not serve dinner until 8:00, this was unreasonable. It led to me sneaking food and binging. Not, junk food b/c we didn't have it. But real food....

So, I don't know what the answer is. Sometimes, being ultra strict on your kids has just as bad of an impact.

Sorry this is so long.

Marie said...

Ok Anonymous, but I think taking a child from her parents and placing her in foster care solely because her parents let her eat too much . . .

is abusive. That's an experience like being kidnapped. Even if the foster home is a "good" one.

The outcomes for children in foster care from educational to suicide risk to drug abuse to incarceration are ALL negative. Every last measurable indicator is negative for foster care. It should only be utilized in extreme instances.

I am NOT saying it is ok to over feed your child. I don't think it's ok to let them do a lot of things. But I am saying it should not be considered in the child abuse category.

I take offense on behalf of children who are TRULY abused, they would jump at the chance of just having a parent who lets them drink soda at dinner.

Susan said...

WOW what a line of comments! and many anonymous. I never really answered specifically about the child mom. I just responded on obesity in general.

I was a fat mom, but I regulated my children and kept them active to where they did not have the same problem. It is always something else the school kids find to torment them with besides being fat, though.

I remember as a child being chubby and harassed to the point of tears in line looking at the skinny teacher for some help to stop it and she looked me straight in the eyes and did nothing as I cried and they continued. This was in 4th grade.

My general feeling about that is that is first sympathy and then comparison. Comparison is kind of a vanity trait, I know. As I mentioned initially, I think they either look better and dress better as a fat person, than I or vice versa.

FattyMcFatPants said...

I think the same thing as when I see a blonde mom and her blonde daughter: genetics. There might be other factors affecting it, but I've known too many people who exist on junk and are so thin they look anorexic, and too many large people who eat extremely low calorie diets, to think genetics aren't a HUGE factor.

Jill said...

Ok - you asked for honesty here. I am always looking in people's grocery carts (skinny or obese) to see what they are buying and feeding their kids on a daily basis. I am just in awe at what people eat and choose to feed their kids!! If someone wants to eat like crap and not exercise then that's their choice...but when we put that on our kids and create a vicious cycle it makes me literally sick to my stomach!

I am truly saddened when I see processed, totally un-natural, sugar/color/chemical added food as the main source of "nourishment" for families. I often feel like saying something in love, but who am I? And sad but true, eating like crap is the American way.

Wether I see an obese family or a skinny family consuming all that junk, I am angry. But when I see obese kids, I feel so sad and disturbed just knowing what they are already facing and what their parents are doing to them.

I work VERY hard to exercise (was not always the case), eat a natural diet, and I spend LOTS of extra time taking the extra steps to prepare food for my kids so I'm not tempted to stop at a fast food joint. It's not easy or always fun BUT since I care about my kids it's what I do. I see the rewards, I see the healthy choices they make on their own, I see them being active, not sick as much...

I truly think most of America is unaware of what they are doing BUT that can't always be an excuse. We are dying younger from heart disease and cancer, our kids are obese and developing diabetes at alarming rates. The time is NOW.

It starts at home. Mom's have to wake up, learn what we are doing to our bodies, spend the time to change our kids habits, stop being lazy and taking the easy way out. When crap is all around us, it's more work to go the healthy route BUT if we care about our kids long term health we have to do it.

Jill in AZ

Anonymous said...

If I see them in the grocery store my fisrt reaction is I get upset. Because the major not all but the major where I live have nothing but junk food in there cart. How hard is get to make pancake from scratch. but you will see pop, chips cookies process frozen food. Then I thank god for what I have and check my cart to make sure I not making the same choices. Yes we eat junk food to but also healthy food. When I at the resturant I feel sorry the child because the parent can control what they eat. The child is stuck. I am also overweight and I always say monday I am going to start my diet and monday has never come. I have started to walk and plan my meals ahead. Trying to drink my water.

Legally Fabulous said...

I think it's sad that they've passed their bad habits on to their children. :(

Ron from NJ said...

I have to admit, when I read this Saturday, I was going to keep my opinion to myself...but then I started to read some of the more RIDICULOUS comments and I realized I had WAAY too much to say on it. I ended up posting on my own blog. Thanks for letting me share it with you and your readers... I just hope I got the link right...lol