Yesterday, I took a long, hard look in the mirror, trying not to be critical but also not gloss over what I see. I have had a lot of trouble with the image of myself in my head being very different from what I see in the mirror, and both of those things being very different from what other people see. I looked yesterday for two reasons:
1. Nothing fits. Okay, some things fit, but sure as heck not much. I am still down four pounds this month but am bloated from PMS and the scale was up a pound a few days ago even with being on plan 100%. I had an event to go to yesterday, grabbed my jeans and could not zip them. I put on a shirt and saw a muffin top bulging through. I looked through my closet and had a difficult time finding anything to wear.
2. No less than 3 times this week, I have had people I know give me "the look." You know the one. It's the look... the little brief glance/eye flicker that happens when you run into someone who hasn't seen you in awhile and you've gained weight. They smile and say hi but their eyes, just for a split second, flick downward to your belly or waist or legs, taking in the change. It is, in fact, the same look you get when you see someone you haven't seen in awhile and you have *lost* weight, except in that case the eyes may linger a bit longer and they smile bigger and say something along the lines of "wow! You look great!" Only, when you look fatter, they don't say anything. Trust me on this, I know the look, and I got it this week. Three times.
So I stood in front of the mirror and looked. The weight I have regained all went to my belly. In fact, in the wrong clothes, I look like I *could* be pregnant. Just not enough for people to ask (thank goodness). Between that and the oddly disproportionate arms, it's enough to keep me focused on eating right and getting that exercise started.
Tomorrow I will start doing my physical therapy and arm routine. I will share the exercises with you, in case you're interested. I think I will throw some crunches in there, too, for good measure.
Friday Update and Reality Check
1 day ago