Something I learned:
Food is never, never, never going to fix your problems! Food is not going to make you happy, is not going to take the loneliness away, is not going to give you courage to change things. Food is not going to fix the leaky sink, write your term paper, or fix a broken heart. It is not going to repair a relationship or wind back the hands of time. All overeating does is make you fat. NOT happy, not better, not loved and wanted. It is just food and it can only mask the problems by stealing your time and attention. It just helps you run away from the painful reality. Write it out. Say it out loud. "The painful reality is...." Finish the sentence. See what you have been running from all this time. Really. Finish that sentence from your heart, alone in your room, no one to hear it but you. Let the tears begin to flow. Stop running. turn and face it, head on... the feelings the issues, the emotions, the pain... all of it. Just turn and face it and plant your feet and scream and cry if you need to. Don't let it chase you anymore. Stand your ground and fight whatever you need to fight. Fight for your life, with dignity and honor. You don't need food for any of that. It is hard to battle or stand in a dignified manner with your mouth full of cookies.
It's time. Let it out, face it, feel it, mourn it. And then, just be. Be, without the numbing, escaping, drugging effects of food. Be, without running, without hiding. And truly be free.
18 hours ago