Monday, April 11, 2011

Where I've Been

I've gotten a couple of emails asking if I am okay, since I haven't made a peep in days. So I wanted to do a quick post, even though I really don't feel like posting at all.

I am stressed out. Seems to be a common event around here lately. I feel like I have so many demands on me and not much personal, hands-on support at all. Emotionally I am drained. I had such a huge burst of energy last week, got mega-amounts of spring cleaning done, and saw the scale move down to 182. But somehow even the things I enjoy are a kind of stress... a positive stress but a stress nonetheless... and add in the negatives and the daily *stuff* of being a mother of five kids and owner of two dogs and a cat, I once again felt like I was at my stress limit on Friday afternoon. It was a rough weekend.

Taxes need to be prepared and I haven't even begun to gather the materials. A child's birthday is coming up this week too and I have no gifts or anything else planned yet. My son is turning 19 soon and thus needs a new health insurance option, either adding him to my policy or finding some other 'adult' health plan as he is only working part time and going to school full time. My daughter sees the doctor again today to see if she has finally kicked her infection, and I have an appointment this week to check and make sure the pre-cancerous cells have not returned that caused me to have LEEP surgery some time back. I worry, I am stressed. I need to finish what I started with the spring cleaning, get some kind of camping vacation plan in place for the summer, prep for my daughter's dance recitals, and work on training my dog for her obedience and tracking classes. I really do enjoy a lot of this stuff... especially the dog things and the kid things... but all the pressure takes a toll.

Add to that the planning meals, the scale, fitting in some exercise, trying to get enough sleep (which is not happening) and just general taking care of myself and everyone else... and not having anyone to take care of ME... and it does get overwhelming at times. I know my situation isn't any harder or worse than everyone else's, but my feelings are mine, my experience is mine. I start flipping out and eat a chocolate Easter egg and then you can add extreme joint pain and headaches to the mix. Not a good idea.

Anyway, it does help immensely to just "open a packet" of Medifast every 2-3 hours and eat it. It takes my mind off food at least til dinnertime. I will get through this week, and then if I get everything done that I need to, I will have a lower-pressure week next week.

So that's where I've been, why I've been silent, and what I am doing. Thank you for the well wishes and positive thoughts and for caring about me.

And now I am off to the doctor's office.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Lyn
Hang in there sweetie...Just allow yourself a little down time and dont put so many demands on yourself (I know easier said than done)
I have been following your blog and I wondered if I missed something....I know you dont mention your husband often but did you guys separate or divorce...just wondering
Take care of yourself and we all love hearing from you and knowing that you are o.k.
peace

Mike said...

I know your feelings well. It makes me think about my wife and how I need to support her more.

Hats off to you for wearing so many hats. It sounds like there are a lot of people in your life you are commited to. Make sure they know it's a two way street and expect from them what they have come to expect from you.

My wife has to do that often with me and she is sooo right!

Starting At 500 Pounds

Pretty Pauline said...

((((Lyn)))) I'm the praying type and will send one up right this minute. It's been a rough week here, too, as I have been thinking about the lack of support for this journey from someone very close to me. It hurts! Anyhoo...

Ximenax said...

Hi Lyn, I know you are overwhelmed with all the deadlines you have this week and I wish there was a magic solution to give you to help ease the stress, the only thing I can give you right now are some kind words of support. I truly hope you can achieve most the tasks and that you still have time for yourself. You have been such an inspiration and I know that keeping with this blog also is creating extra stress. Thank you for sharing how you feel, sometimes that allows you to put things in perspective and it helps to let go the frustration. Do one thing at a time and ask for help from your family to be able to do everything you have planned. Maybe your son can help you with some research on the insurance, this will also allow him to shop around for the best deal and to be a little more responsible for himself. I come from a family where my mother used to do pretty much everything for us and when I came to the US and left my home I had to learn how to take care of myself and the importance of doing my own things, maybe this is a good opportunity for you to have your son share the load.
I wish you the best this week.
Ximena

Anonymous said...

Lyn
Even at 19, with the new healthcare change, you should be able to keep your son on your current polcy. (unless you don't want to) Please check this first.

Lyn said...

Anonymous~

You are right! I called and they said as long as he is at home and a full time college student he can stay on his current plan til he is 21! I do have to call and confirm and send documentation but what a relief.

Thank you all for the kind comments. I feel so stressed out. I truly need a bit of time for myself. I am going to have to take it, even a few hours, for my own sanity.

Lily Fluffbottom said...

Sending you good vibes. You'll get through this.

Lori said...

Lyn,
I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed right now. Life can be like that sometimes.

You're a strong woman. You've been through worse, and you'll make it through this.

I know it isn't much to offer. I'm not sure what else to do since we don't know each other IRL.
Lori

Theresa said...

if you have a second run theater in town I recommend you go to a flick and close off all the stress for 90 minutes. No kids, no dogs, no brain work. Just existing.

The King's Speech
Just Go With It.

just a suggestion

Anonymous said...

Isn't there some sort of new thing with Obama's health care where you can keep your kids on your health insurance until they are 26 now? I thought my brother told me he got his daughter back on his, she's in school fulltime too

PaulaM

Anonymous said...

here it is:

http://www.moneyfunk.net/finances/health-care-reform/

paulam

MargieAnne said...

Can't count the number of times I wanted to world to stop spinning so I could get off and take a break from all the activity and stress, good and difficult.

Sounds like you need a good sleep. Can you make a space for you. Are there things you can neglect, turn your back on, for a while.

I used to dread tax time. Big headache. We don't have those issues now we are retired with no income other than our Govt. Superannuation.

You are coping remarkably well.

Blessings.

Karin said...

((((lyn))))) sometimes it just is what it is...

Deb Willbefree said...

Good grief! I was overwhelmed at "mother of five", just so ya know. I had two babies in one year (11 months apart) so I have a clue--with all the rest, it amazes me that you can string together whole sentences.

Go into the bathroom. Shut the door. Lean against it--and take a deep breth. Two deep breaths. Close your eyes and count to 20 breathing normally. Then take another deep breath. :) That's probably all of the time you have. It's the best I can do.

Hugs and prayers!

Deb

timothy said...

awwww hon, sounds like you need to just run a tub and soak for an hour. it'll be ok, you can get though this. you're a strong capable woman. remember lots of folks adore you and if you need to vent we're here for that too........heck just go out in your yard and shriek sometimes that helps!

Thirteenlbs said...

Breathe.

RhubarbLady said...

I wish I could help more than just through comments...

Have the kids help more with the pets-when I'm overwhelmed I have them get the food and water and clean up and it's a big stress reliever.

I was going to echo checking on the ins. policy because they can stay on longer now.

And it's okay to do an okay job (not a perfect job, not even a good job) on some things. A partially swept floor is better than not sweeping at all.

Sometimes you've got to just do enough to get by-like opening a medifast packet ;)

Better days are coming!

Anonymous said...

News laws require that children can stay on parent's health policies until they are 26, regardless of whether they are a student, full time employee, marital status. If your insurer is stating that your son can only be insured with your policy until he is 21, they are most likely wrong or not updated with their policies yet.