I've gotten a couple of emails asking if I am okay, since I haven't made a peep in days. So I wanted to do a quick post, even though I really don't feel like posting at all.
I am stressed out. Seems to be a common event around here lately. I feel like I have so many demands on me and not much personal, hands-on support at all. Emotionally I am drained. I had such a huge burst of energy last week, got mega-amounts of spring cleaning done, and saw the scale move down to 182. But somehow even the things I enjoy are a kind of stress... a positive stress but a stress nonetheless... and add in the negatives and the daily *stuff* of being a mother of five kids and owner of two dogs and a cat, I once again felt like I was at my stress limit on Friday afternoon. It was a rough weekend.
Taxes need to be prepared and I haven't even begun to gather the materials. A child's birthday is coming up this week too and I have no gifts or anything else planned yet. My son is turning 19 soon and thus needs a new health insurance option, either adding him to my policy or finding some other 'adult' health plan as he is only working part time and going to school full time. My daughter sees the doctor again today to see if she has finally kicked her infection, and I have an appointment this week to check and make sure the pre-cancerous cells have not returned that caused me to have LEEP surgery some time back. I worry, I am stressed. I need to finish what I started with the spring cleaning, get some kind of camping vacation plan in place for the summer, prep for my daughter's dance recitals, and work on training my dog for her obedience and tracking classes. I really do enjoy a lot of this stuff... especially the dog things and the kid things... but all the pressure takes a toll.
Add to that the planning meals, the scale, fitting in some exercise, trying to get enough sleep (which is not happening) and just general taking care of myself and everyone else... and not having anyone to take care of ME... and it does get overwhelming at times. I know my situation isn't any harder or worse than everyone else's, but my feelings are mine, my experience is mine. I start flipping out and eat a chocolate Easter egg and then you can add extreme joint pain and headaches to the mix. Not a good idea.
Anyway, it does help immensely to just "open a packet" of Medifast every 2-3 hours and eat it. It takes my mind off food at least til dinnertime. I will get through this week, and then if I get everything done that I need to, I will have a lower-pressure week next week.
So that's where I've been, why I've been silent, and what I am doing. Thank you for the well wishes and positive thoughts and for caring about me.
And now I am off to the doctor's office.
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