Yesterday's ultrasound appointment was routine. It took a half hour or so and they imaged and measured my ovaries and uterus (I did not get to see the screen or get any information during the ultrasound). Then, as directed, I went up to see the doctor who would give me the results. It was a new young doctor I hadn't seen before... one of some dozen doctors in an OBGYN practice. I was nervous but ready for answers.
It went like this.
Dr: Oh hi! Hmmm, we don't have the radiology report yet!
me: Right, they said it would take a couple days but that they made the u/s available on the network for you to look at.
Dr: Oh, yes. Well, hmmm. You haven't had any bleeding or pain though right?
Dr, grinning: so you wouldn't need any treatment anyway! Let's just wait til they send me the report.
(this is a contradiction of what I was told earlier, that if there was an indication of cancer I'd need a biopsy at the very least. And that there would probably not be bleeding or pain in such a case. Or it could be fibroids.)
me: Well, I'd appreciate if you could just look at the u/s and give me some feedback. My mother died from ovarian cancer and I had a LEEP surgery a couple years ago for pre-cancerous cervical cells, so I am a bit on edge.
Dr: Well really it's *their* ultrasound so I should let THEM read it. (Looks at clock) Hey! Tell you what! I will have a nurse call you in a couple of days with some results. Hey, I won't even charge you for this visit! No copay! Deal?
Dr, stands up grinning, opens the door and says to the lady in the hall: Hey! No charge for this visit, okay? Make sure she doesn't get charged!
And then he walked away.
So I might get some results on the cervical screening before the weekend but I will probably have to wait til next week for the ultrasound results. I admit I was emotional when I left. I had been told the doctor would give me the RESULTS of the u/s at that visit. Now I had to wait. I had a slight breakdown in the car, shed a couple of tears, then got myself together and decided it wouldn't do any good to worry. So I am just going to go on doing my thing, assuming all is well, and will get the results when I get them.
(And yes I do usually stand up for myself better and would have insisted they call a different doctor or someone who'd take the time to look at my results, but I was taken off guard by his whole demeanor, and had fully expected to get some results, and I guess I was sort of stunned into just sitting there thinking, "what the heck??")
So on to my eating plan.
I've decided there are certain things I want to cut out of my intake, if not 100% then at least to a large degree. But there are a *lot* of changes I want to make, and I don't want to overwhelm myself trying to do it all at once. Baby steps.
Eventually, I want to:
Cut out artificial sweeteners (with a switch to Stevia along the way. Still deciding if I want to use that on occasion but the Splenda has to go) which would include cutting out diet sodas.
Include healthy portions of fruit, low fat dairy, and even some starchier/carbier veggies like peas and sweet potatoes, which I have not had in a year.
Increase my exercise including my PT exercises
Increase my sleep quantity and quality
Drink more green tea, plain, unsweetened
Drink less coffee or learn to drink it without sweetener
Eat only unrefined types of soy, like tofu, and not very often
More beans, legumes
Less fatty meat, cured meat, processed meat
More local grass fed beef and free range chicken and eggs
Figure out how to do this in a more convenient manner. Maybe more raw veggies is a good start... less cooking!
I have decided to go ahead and do the Medifast Transition program now. Usually they recommend doing that once you reach your weight goal, but I have been on Medifast for over a year now and I am ready for a change. I don't want to just *quit* Medifast but want to give Transition a chance to help me find a healthy way to eat. I am also cutting way back on soy just because I think moderation is a good idea since I am dealing with reproductive system issues. I have eaten a ton of soy over the past year and just to err on the side of caution I am cutting out most soy from my diet. That means I am switching to whey-based Medifast meals as I do Transition.
Transition, in a nutshell, looks like this:
Stage 1: add 1 cup of any vegetables per day (this means adding back in carbier options like green peas, carrots, and sweet potatoes). This is in addition to the 5 Medifast meals and the Lean & Green meal (5-7 oz protein + 3 veggie servings + healthy fat) eaten each day.
Stage 2: Cut back to 4 Medifast meals, continue eating the above plus add 2 medium pieces of fruit or 1 cup cut fruit/berries.
Stage 3: Same as above, but add 1 cup of low fat or fat free dairy (like yogurt).
Stage 4: Cut back to 3 Medifast meals, continue eating as above, plus add 4-6 more ounces of lean meat or an appropriate serving of beans/legumes and 1 whole grain serving.
Then you can go from there to either continue with some Medifast meals or cut them out in favor of other foods with equivalent nutrition. This ends up at about 1500 calories max.
I think at least for awhile I will count calories while I do this so I don't go overboard. I think this is just the change I need to get excited about making my *health* a priority. Honestly, I have been a bit resistant to anymore weight loss lately. I know that sounds insane. Of course if I could snap my fingers and weigh 150 pounds I'd do it, but I think I'd regret it and regain some weight. I have changed SO MUCH over the past 3 years. It is a lot to get used to. I still am honestly shocked when I am out and about, and someone I haven't seen in ages says, "wow! You look GREAT!" or "I didn't even recognize you!" I am just stunned. I think, "what??? I look great???" And yesterday I went without sleeves for the first time this season and I was SO uncomfortable it was insane. When I took off my jacket and went in to the doctor's office with bare arms I felt completely naked and FAT. I felt like taking off that jacket was like taking off my "thin person costume" and now everyone could see that I was morbidly obese (because my arms look really bad to me right now, very saggy and, well, like they used to be obese!) It's like everyone can see my secret when I don't have sleeves on. So yeah, I am still working through a few things.
This post probably seems long and rambling. I started it early this morning, and have been getting up and doing stuff like feeding kids and dogs, getting dressed, helping with art projects and making coffee. So every time I come back and sit down I write something else :) So forgive the writing style today, and I hope the content makes sense!
And for those who have emailed me lately, I apologize for not responding. I do read and appreciate every email, and have been answering about 25% of them since February when I was sick. I will probably answer them all at some point, but if not, please know it's just me being overwhelmed and not anything you said.
Enjoy your day.
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