Friday, February 4, 2011

Because I'm Tired of It

I am tired of dieting.

Yeah, I know I will get a bunch of people saying "lifestyle! Not diet!" but I have already explained how I feel about that in this post. My eating during weight loss IS different from what my eating will be during maintenance. I do not want to lose weight *forever* so what I am doing does not need to last *forever.* Of course I can't ever go back to binge eating, overeating, or mindless eating. But I am NOT, not going to count calories, use Medifast, measure every bite, or count carbs *forever.* You can if you'd like. We can do things our own way.

Anyway, what I am tired of is the focus on losing weight, whether it's from a "diet" or a habit change or whatever. I am tired of the scale. I am tired of logging my weight, having  plan out my food, drinking a ton of water, and spending time and energy on weight loss. I am tired of the strictness. I am tired of the foods I am eating, tired of saying no to myself over and over, tired of *wanting* to lose weight.

And because I am tired of it, I am doing it.

Does that make sense? If I dink around *sort of* doing it, it will take even longer. I am about at my limit for weight loss expenditure, I think. Four years is enough. It will be four years in August since I started this journey at 278 pounds. I am ready to be done.

I figure it takes x number of on-plan days to get to goal. Maybe in my case it's 120 days, just picking a random number here. I also figure that for every day I go off plan, it adds about 3 extra days of being on plan to get to goal (to undo the damages). I can choose to stay on plan and be DONE in 120 days, or spend 10% of my days off plan and add 48 more days to how long it will take me to get there. At least. So if you're sick of dieting, sick of being fat, sick of the whole weight loss thing, it's probably not a good idea to "take a break" every so often. Better to just get it done in the shorter time period. Heck, if I hadn't gone off plan this winter I would probably be at goal by now. Which sucks. But also motivates me to stick to it.

Maybe someday I will be tired of maintenance, too. Tired of the effort it takes just to not *regain* weight, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now I am just focusing on getting this done.

27 comments:

Eschelle said...

I think the more "anal" you are about it the less likely it is to happen :D

Ice Queen said...

Thank you for this post. I have been in a bit of a "sick of it!" slump, myself. In may case, I have a heck of a lot more than 120 days to go. And I just want/need to get this done, already. My health demands it.

Good reminder. And motivation, too.

Hang in there, girl. You are in the home stretch and soon, you will do your victory lap into maintenance.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

I think part of it is the time of year. It's tough to work up much gumption in the middle of a bleak winter season.

However...

Spring is right around the corner and with it always comes a renewed sense of hope and purpose.

Maintenance does present its own set of problems and worries, but like you said... that's a problem for another day.

Karin said...

"tired of it" sometimes doesn't even cover it...but i'm more tired of being fat and uncomfortable and miserable. Thank you.

Losing 100 said...

Lyn,
What a good reminder right before the weekend. (especially super bowl weekend!) Thanks

Shan said...

Amen, Lyn! I got that way a few weeks ago. I'm tired of farting around.

I love how you picked a # of days it will take of being OP...and then translating off days to show the damage we do to ourselves when we "cheat". I'll keep that in mind while making wings for everyone ELSE!

Ann-Marie said...

Sing it sister. I'm tired of it too. But I must keep marching otherwise I'll never cross the finish line ergo prolonging the agony.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure sober drug addicts and alcoholics are tired of "beating the beast" everyday also. But, to control addiction, food being yours, the beast must be controlled everyday. You may say that you will not count calories or whatever for the rest of your life, but to control your beast you will have to make a choice to deal with it and control it everyday, or when you blink you will be back to where you were, not knowing how you got there.

Lori said...

I like the way you think!
Lori

Jill said...

What a great way to think about it! Thanks!

Need to Get ME Back said...

I hear ya sister!! The act of losing weight - what it takes to do so - sucks! I can't wait to get to goal so I can just relax a little and coast! It is way easier to maintain than those, but I say just plug away til you get there - and go the shorter route! Also, I think its awesome how you have figured out the time it'll take, etc. Very impressive!

Dinahsoar said...

Sounds like you are ready to move into maintenance and learn how to eat regular food instead of subsisting on the Medifast prepackaged prepared stuff.

Understandable. I know I'd certainly get tired of it. Easy as it is to not have to figure out what to eat, you are limited in your choices.

I at least get choose from regular food what I eat at every meal.

Sounds like you need a change of food.

Is it possible to transition to maintenance and continue to lose weight?

3FC Sue said...

Lyn – alarm bells were screaming in my head when I read your post. Reaching your goal weight only means that the hard work is about to begin, not end. Your past experience has shown you what happens when you try to eat healthily and intuitively, without counting calories or measuring portions. Fast, fast regain. Maintenance means you put the same effort in as when you were losing, but the scale stays the same. That’s all. There’s no let up in intensity or effort, unless you want a fast ticket back to morbid obesity. Most people can lose some weight, but only 5% can keep it off. Listen and learn from the 5%. I guarantee that they still log their weight, plans their meals, drink a ton of water, and spend time and energy on weight loss. They’re strict and yes, they say “no” to themselves over and over again. It’s the only thing that keeps the weight off long-term.

You’ve come too far to throw it away. Please stop and think realistically about maintenance! You’re never “done” – unless you want to be morbidly obese again.

chris m said...

Ironically/sadly, ads for junk foods (oreo cookies, for example) are showing up on your page. The power and persuasiveness of these peddlers of junk food is disturbing and makes it even harder to control fat/weight. McDonalds et al. are not all that different from tobacco companies (fake science, money, lobbying, etc).

chris m said...

Great comment, 3FC Sue.
Indeed, the quest for health is never over.

Mich said...

I think you're doing exactly the right thing focusing on one matter at a time: the loss right now, maintenance when that stage arrives.

beerab said...

That's how I felt last year- I was just TIRED of dieting- after gaining weight from medication I just threw my hands up in the air and just maintained for a few months.

NOW I'm doing Medifast as well and am back on it but I don't think I could have gone back without medifast- it really helps.

I agree to hang in there- you are very close :)

Good job for not eating the pizza btw :)

Lanie Painie said...

I agree with Jack. It's easy to get tired of anything with this bleak weather!

Anonymous said...

Lyn,

I have a suggestion. Go on maintenance for a bit, for a couple of months, until spring hits. Give your body and yourself a bit of space. just keep at the weight you are for two months, then, in the spring, bounce back into weight-loss mode. I think that our bodies and brains start fighting us when we hit a certain point, and we need to give everything a chance to catch up... and by going on maintenance now, it will give you a chance to start using some of the tools you'll need for maintenance later...

I found when I was losing, it worked better for me to have some days where I ate a little more, some where I ate less...granted, everyone is different....

You've made amazing progress, but maybe you need to step back and just get used to the progress you've made...

Catherine (sorry, for some reason this isn't loading with my blogger account)

Anonymous said...

This is exactly why "diets" don't "work". (long term)
Life shouldn't be held with a white-knuckled fist. A soft, supportive palm gives us room to love enough to live enough.

Lynna said...

May I make a suggestion:

Instead of focusing on "white knuckling" regarding food,
continue honoring your body be doing some different, fun, creative things.

Go get a haircut and color at a fabulous stylist. Go buy yourself a drop-dead gorgeous dress. Buy a pair of strappy, sexy sandals. Get a manicure or massage. Buy a new purse, earrings, etc.

Splurge on having fun with this new body of yours. Be a little audacious, flirty, fun. Enjoy it right where you are. (And if finances are an issue, that just opens more opportunities to be creative at thrift stores!)

My experience: If you do those things, the "open palm" referenced in one of the comments will appear, and the entire journey becomes one of delight instead of torture and impatience to get to goal.

Would love to know how you hear this...

Lyn said...

Anonymous~

I see as many bloggers failing and disappearing who touted "lifestyle" and a relaxed journey as I do the "diet" minded. I think in either case most people regain the weight. At least that's the statistics I hear. I think what I have done has worked for me, at least, I do feel like a success. Of course you'll have to come back in ten years, or twenty, to see if it's still off, depending on what you call long term :)

Lynna~

I hear you :) I hear it in a tone of caring and love. You've always been so supportive and insightful. I appreciate that about you!

I think I tend to swing back and forth between relaxing, being okay with a pound gone here and there, just enjoying life, and the other end of the spectrum where I get frustrated and tired of it and just want to be done so I get more strict. I am sure there's a happy medium in there. I've felt it.

I am definitely happier in spring/summer/fall. You're right, I need to do more enjoyable stuff for me. The issue right now is... five kids + a puppy + physical therapy and other stuff going on has me pretty drained. Maybe this is more a case of overall mental/emotional exhaustion than it is about the weight loss.

Thanks for making me think.

Claudia said...

What a coincidence...I was having the *exact* same feeling yesterday when I was on my way out the door to leave for work. I couldn't find anything to wear, not because I didn't actually 'have' anything, but because I couldn't find a 'good enough' outfit to hide the fat me for another day.

And then I just sat down, put my head in my hands, and said to myself, "I am so tired of playing the weight games. I am so tired of being half on a diet, half not, gaining, losing, gaining, losing, gaining more, losing less." I nearly started crying.

And then I too said to myself that I was either going to do this or I wasn't. No more messing around, because all that has lead to is more sadness and more weight.

No more excuses.

Lynna said...

Lyn,
My earlier comment was absolutely offered with a heart of respect, admiration and care for your journey. Glad you heard it in that spirit :)

I find you to be amazing and highly encourage you to celebrate today with some kind of wonderful non-food "reward" that brings you great delight.

chris m said...

Strongly disagree with "Anonymous" (February 5, 2011 9:21 AM).

Diets don't fail, people do.

The now popular saying "diets don't work" is nothing more than yet another excuse for lack of self-control.

DangerMonkey said...

Thank you for that! It was a really good point and a great motivator!

Colleen said...

I read this when you first posted it and couldn't quit thinking about what you wrote about how for every day you go off plan, it adds about 3 extra days of being on it and to "choose to stay on plan and be DONE in 120 days, or spend 10% of my days off plan and add 48 more days to how long it will take me to get there." I love that! Really made me think that yeah, just need to do it, do it well and get it done. Breaks can come later when I am slimer and maybe then I won't feel like getting back to where I am now. Thank you VERY MUCH for this post!