Friday, December 10, 2010

Struggle

Today is difficult. I have been sooo busy all day that I barely had time to eat, but I just grabbed quick meals every 2-3 hours and kept going. I got a lot done but I am HUNGRY. Not stomach hungry... brain hungry. Cravings. Hormonal. Wanting to eat eat eat. I just had my dinner early (spaghetti squash with tomato sauce, lean meatballs and turkey sausage) at 4:30 instead of 6 because I wanted to eat sooo badly, and I am still not satisfied.

Part of it is where I am in my cycle, and part of it is that I have been 100% on plan with my eating all month and the scale is not giving me what I want. I am STILL stuck at 178 pounds... have been for most of the week... even though I am eating right. I think this is partly why people flip out and go off plan:

"I am doing everything right and eating this stupid pot of kale instead of a bowl of ice cream and I am STILL not losing any weight! Screw it, I want the ice cream!"

But I am not going there. And in fact I like kale...

I know the scale will drop when my body is ready. I'll just keep on. I am exhausted, but about to leave to take my daughter to dance. And then when I get back I will do my PT exercises and take a long, hot bath.

10 comments:

Trish Dehls said...

I am SO with you....I've been on Medifast for 3 months, have lost 39 lbs and am now struggling...not with food but with thoughts... yesterday, I told my husband, who didn't "get it" that I felt as if someone had pricked me with a pin ( my real - balloon self) ( I was wearing clothes that I used to feel good in)- I am choosing to win over the bizarre thoughts and maybe need to make a stop to the consignment store for "tide over" slacks;-)- best wishes...Trish

Cupcake Quandry said...

I feel your pain. I'm finally into the 180's, and I'm waiting for it to drop down. I'm being patient..but it's hard! But you are such an inspiration to me!

Christine said...

your retaining water. Don't let it get to you...flush it out and it will get better.

Jane Cartelli said...

Don't give the scale the power to take over your life. That you have not lost weight this week is a positive thing because slow loss is fat weight. Quick loss is mostly water and muscle. You loss recently. If you drop a pound or two next week it will be better than losing 2 pounds this week and having it be the wrong weight. The loss will come if you keep doing the next right thing.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Have you tried kale ice cream?

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

I really get it about fighting with the cravings. I've found, however, that the times I've managed to fend them off are some of my proudest moments. I can feel bad emotions bubbling up (worry, stress, frustration), and then I say to myself, "No, you don't need the food. This just a bad habit your brain has when it's telling you to eat when you're not hungry. YOU CAN DO THIS."


And when I have done it, it feels great. You can do it, too.

Anonymous said...

What a long way you've come!

You recognize this is craving not hunger. You're feeding your body good food, good fuel.

I don't know what kind of busy you've been, but I'll bet some of it was physically active. Three years ago you wouldn't have gotten as much done as you did today and you would have been more tired.

You would have thought you were hungry and eaten too much of things that wouldn't have fueled your body.

You wouldn't have been coming up with a strategy for cravings, because you wouldn't have known they were cravings.

You wouldn't have had spaghetti squash, lean meatballs, turkey sausage or kale in the house as potential ingredients for tasty meals.

You wouldn't have had this wonderful opportunity to improve your knees, because they would be more damaged from more weight on them. Even if you had the exercises you wouldn't have been planning time to do them, because your improperly fueled body would have been too tired to consider it.

You would have done what you could of today's schedule while carrying around a 100+ pound burden that was physically and psychologically challenging.

You are on the other side of that and in such a better physical and mental place.

You've come a long long way.

WR

TrippyTexan said...

You're doing great. And know what? Sometimes just maintaining for a week or two is all that can be managed during a busy/stressful time, and that's OK. The important thing is that now you can tell the difference between stomach hungry and brain hungry, and you have the willpower to tell your cravings to STFU. That's awesome!

Lynna said...

I choose not to weigh myself. I've lost about 50 pounds (estimated) from a size 24 to an 18 without once standing on a set of scales. I knew that I had been an emotional slave to the scales during past diets, and I wanted to do something radically different this time.

Instead of the scales being my judge, I am the one in power to tell myself how amazing I am doing and how great I look and how much stronger my body is. It refocuses my attention from that former tyranny of a number on a screen to the better barometer of wellness.

Kat said...

Lady, good luck fighting the cravings. Trying to live a "healthy" life in the fast food culture we live in can feel absolutely impossible sometimes.

Your patience will pay off. Just keep on fighting.