Wednesday, December 1, 2010

December 1, 2010: 181 Pounds

Yep, that's right. For the first time in nine months I am posting a net *gain* for one month. I don't like it, but I understand it. I didn't stay on track, I ate cookies and brownie batter and bread, and as a result I gained 6 pounds in November.

But wait! There's more! My high weight in November was actually 187 pounds! Yes, I gained *twelve* pounds before I put down the fork and said, "enough is enough, back to business." And then I lost six pounds this week as I got back on track. Thus, the six pound net gain.

I understand something now more than I ever did before: the change of seasons affects me deeply, but the thing that throws me completely off kilter is when we set our clocks back an hour. Ever since that happened, I have struggled to adjust physically, and my emotions were all over the place. It took a solid week of using the sunrise clock, taking 1200 iu of D3, and using my full spectrum lamp about half the time in the afternoons before I started feeling like myself again. And now I feel much better... still a little low on energy, still feeling like hibernating and overeating sometimes, but at least I am now able to control myself (aka get a grip).

I want to tell a little story I heard on the radio the other day. I thought it was appropriate, and helpful, so I will retell it the best I can.

A young man wanted very much to succeed at his goals in life, so he went to ask the guru on the top of the mountain how to find success. When he reached the summit, there was an old bearded man sitting by a tree.

"Which way is success?" the young man asked, and the guru raised his gnarled, bony hand and pointed.
"That way? Thank you!" and the young man went off in the direction he was given. But partway down the mountain, he fell and went "splat." Confused, he stood up, brushing himself off and went back to the guru. "I must have misunderstood," he thought.

Back at the summit, he asked again: "Which way is success?"
Again, the guru pointed in the same direction as before. "Okay," said the young man, and started off.
Once again, partway down the mountain, the young man fell and went "splat." Back he went to the guru.
"I'm sure I just got it wrong. I will pay closer attention this time," he thought.
"Which way is success?" he asked, and again the guru pointed. Off the young man went, and once again he went "splat." Truly irritated by now, he went back to the guru.
"I asked you which way is success, but every time I go the way you point, I fail! Now guru, you MUST speak! Use your words! WHICH WAY IS SUCCESS?"
The old guru raised his hand, pointed again, and said, "Success IS in that direction... just past the "splat."


Think about it. Are you going past the "splat?" Or do you stop and think you've failed every time you fall?
Look at how many times in 3 years I have fallen. I have gained, lost, regained, re-lost, but I always keep going. It isn't so much the path I am taking that is getting me there. It isn't "my way" that is the key to losing 100 pounds. The key is to keep going... past the splat.

I can relate this to getting my college degree. Now, I am a pretty good student. I do well, and I usually get A's. I am conscientious about attending my classes. But in the FIVE years (yes five, not four) it took me to get my Bachelor's degree, in fact I *did* get a poor grade here and there, I *did* miss a class sometimes, and in fact I really screwed up some of the projects I was supposed to do. But I kept at it, and I still graduated magna cum laude. Do you think you will get through 4 or 5 years of college and NEVER make a mistake? NEVER get a bad grade or miss a class or have a bad day? If you are 2 years into it and get an F on a test, do you quit and go work at McDonald's for the rest of your life instead? No! It is OKAY to fall, it is OKAY to mess up! It is part of the journey. No one expects you to have a perfect journey at anything in life. And that goes for weight loss, too.

Each splat is a lesson. The only way it is a true failure is if you lie there in the mud forever.


bein_me said...

I love that story! I'm going to try to remember the "splat"!!

Crystal said...

It took a gain of 20 pounds for me to see the writing on the wall. I don't know if it was laziness, lack of motivation, needing a break or what but when I got on the scale the other day and saw that gain, I knew it was time to get back to it.

Nice story!

Diana said...

I like this! So true and especially true for me lately.

And once again, we're almost exactly the same weight and the same height. Too funny! But we'll get there one of these days and soon I hope. :)

Anonymous said...

Makes me wanna put on my galoshes and go find the biggest, muddiest puddle and play like a five year-old. Mud: We can get mired in it or sometimes, we can find a playful respite in splatting through it.

Steelers6 said...

Great story, thanks for sharing it with all of us. I will be saving that one, and sharing it too. It's a good one!

Happy December my dear.


Diandra said...

Maybe people have pointed this out to you already, but - have you paid closer attention to your weight journey in combination with your menstrual cycle? Scientific researches state that some women gain up to 12 pounds every month due to water accumulating in their body, based on hormones... therefore a little gain or "not-loss" sometimes would not be related to your eating habits.

(I gain 3-4 pounds every month, and loose them directly afterwards. Which annoys the hell out of me, but at least it's not fat...)

Michele @ Healthy Cultivations said...

This post is profound. It almost brings me to tears due to some of the things I've been learning recently. It's when we reach that "splat" that we stop, turn around, and go back to where we started. No wonder it takes forever to move forward... when what we really need to do is keep moving forward when we get up from the splat. Don't go backward; always go forward.

Thank you for this post. It came at a time that makes it so meaningful for me.

Anonymous said...

Fall down seven times - get up eight

beerab said...

Love the story- Just wanted to let you know after reading your medifast journey I decided to give it a try- I placed my first order last night :)

Joy said...

Another great post, Lyn! I love all your stories and anecdotes. I hope you get a book deal someday. I'll be first in line for a copy and an autograph ;)

I know posting a gain is no fun but you did the most important thing, keeping an eye on the scale and having your "enough is enough" moment. You are so inspirational! Take care today!

Deanna - The Unnatural Mother said...

Well said.

Jaclyn said...

Good for you for getting that 12lbs under control! That's one thing I love about your blog - so many wonderful examples of you pushing past the "splat" and enjoying real, hard-earned success.

Anonymous said...

I wanted to thank you for the time and energy you put into your blog, it is a constant source of inspiration for me. I am amazed that you persevered through the weight regain you had before I started reading your blog, when I lost ground after losing 60 pounds or so a few years ago I managed to turn that into a gain of 70 pounds so I really admire you for not giving up. I have lost 100 pounds as of today and have about as many as you left to lose, and then we both face maintenance! Thanks again and I'm glad you're feeling better.

MargieK said...

Love this, Lyn!

Linda said...

I am in SPLAT MODE!!! I so identify with this story Lyn! So amazing how this just nailed it for me. Thank you!


Susan said...

Lyn. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm feeling bad about my weight gain. I had been down to 179 which had me at over 60 pounds lost. Over Thanksgiving week I gained 4 pounds, and I'm stuck now at 183. I didn't really splurge over the holiday but I baked a lot for my family and enjoyed lots of tastes and samples. I guess those calories really added up. I've been limping along with half on program/half off program days since Thanksgiving. I know that I'm not drinking my water like I should and I am not planning as well. My goal is to get back to 179 by Christmas. I've got to make some progress each day. My goal for tomorrow is to journal everything I eat and to get some activity in.