Sunday, November 7, 2010

Relief from the Struggle

This morning I weighed in at 176 pounds. That's up a pound from last week, which is to be expected as I ate off plan a bit. I am okay with that :)

A funny thing has happened as I have lost weight. Not only am I a lot calmer about my weight loss journey as well as the little ups and downs and stalls that occur, but I am also not struggling with food *nearly* as much as I used to. We are talking a minute fraction of the struggle.

I used to fight the urges Every Single Day. I wanted to binge or at least overeat off plan junk Every Day. And I used to not even fight, actually. I'd just eat whatever I felt like eating. But as the weeks and months tick by, I find that I almost never binge, and I only occasionally overeat or go off plan anymore. The urges are few and far between, but I also am a lot more successful in ignoring them. I guess practice does make perfect!

When I do indulge, it's not a big deal to me. No guilt or self hatred anymore. I just feel the feelings, notice that it isn't what I thought it would be most of the time, and get back on my plan. And that's the other really big thing I have noticed: how much easier it is to get back on plan. And I honestly think THAT is one of the major keys to weight loss success.

The ability to get back on plan quickly is absolutely essential. It used to take me MONTHS after one binge to even try to lose weight again. Or maybe I'd do a half hearted effort: count calories for breakfast, but then make a pie and eat it for lunch and order pizzas for dinner. "Start over again tomorrow" I'd say. "Monday," I'd say. "On the first of the month." "On New Year's Day." I'd put it off and put it off so I could eat more stuff I liked. A few days wouldn't matter. A few weeks wasn't a big deal. I wasn't ready *now.* I'd do it later.

Over time I have just forced myself to do it sooner and sooner. Maybe I'd wait through a weekend but not for weeks. Then it got easier to MAKE myself get back on plan quickly. I could do it within a day or two every time. No more weeks off. THAT is a huge step! Really. Think about all the wasted time eating crap if you wait a week or two versus getting back on plan in a day or two. And now, it is almost habitual and instantaneous. If I eat off plan, the next morning I am right back on. Sometimes even the very same day, next meal. No reason to put it off. One indulgence doesn't HAVE to be a ticket for a free-for-all for the rest of the day or weekend anymore.

It is no longer painful or even much of a struggle to switch from an indulgence to restriction. (Yes, losing weight does require restriction in some form). I rather enjoy the feeling of my body not being stuffed full of garbage. I prefer to go to bed with a comfortable stomach, and wake up hungry. I like being on a schedule with my eating and not having to think about food every waking moment. It is a true pleasure to relax about the eating and know I am just going to stick with my plan, the weight will come off, and I do NOT have to have a gigantic internal struggle anymore. It is SUCH a relief. You can find that relief too. Just keep making yourself behave in the manner you WANT to behave until it becomes automatic. It took me way, way longer than the traditional "21 days to make a habit," but the effort is worth it. Just keep faking it til you make it. Do it until it *becomes* you.

As an aside, I added some new coupon codes to my shopping page. I am going to try and put the sales and discounts up there when I find them. Hey, Christmas is coming up and every bit helps! I found something kinda cool on the personalization mall link... it's a custom, personalized ornament that they will engrave with ANYTHING you want, up to 6 lines, and it's only eleven bucks. I am trying to think of some kind of really cool motivational phrase or something to put on mine and hang on the tree. Something to commemorate my 100 pounds gone this year, and motivate me to keep going. Ideas?? I love custom stuff.

Plan for a GREAT week! I can hardly wait to see those 160's on the scale!


Kimberly said...

I have found that getting all of the crap out of my diet that caused the cravings has made sticking to the plan monumentally easier. I'm just doing it today instead of struggling to do it. That feels real good.

Your progress pics make me want to cry. I remember reading about when you were struggling so hard and to see you now is just incredible. Awesome job.

Crystal said...

Hi there! It sounds like you are really starting to come into your weight-loss and actually are enjoying the process. I know what it's like to be anxious to lose lots of weight in the beginning and being so disappointed with yourself when your body doesn't do what your mind thinks it should.

You are very inspiring and I hope to read more of your journey in the future!

Lucy said...

I love this. I can totally relate. What a relief it must be for you. Fake it till you make it...I often say this to myself, & it works for me.

Anonymous said...

Hearing you say, do it now,,,do not put off even if you mess up one meal . start right then,,,,,is a up-lifter to me...thanks again!!!
Linda from Pa..

mensa said...

It seems like it's not all or nothing anymore. I feel the same way. If I overindulge ... it's no biggee, I'm back on it. It's also a tremendous help to put it in black and white every day and have the support of your fellow blogger. Thanks for your help, we're getting there.


Debbie said...

Love your common sense approach. I am finding the same thing happening myself. Congratulations!

jinks1 said...

May I say that eventhough we have never met that I am really PROUD of you! I know it may sound silly but I am tearing up right now (WUSS), because of your amazing writing and I have been reading it for years and I have seen your struggles.

You should write a book and make a million because you have a way of touching others with your words. That is an amazing gift!

We are the same age, but I feel like you are my child and I want to shout
"Way to Go...Lyn...I am so proud of you!"

Thanks for your blog it is always a high and happy part of my day!

Blubeari said...

I can feel some changes within me in this way; Some things are becoming automatic and no longer a struggle. Some things are still an everyday fight. But you are a true inspiration; I do believe it can get better.

spunkysuzi said...

My body is so much more comfortable when it's eating healthy food and no junk and remarkably it works so much better for me!
Just feeling that difference has made a huge impact on how i eat and how long if i do veer off the path it takes me to get back on.

Anonymous said...



MizFit said...

I read this.
I reflect back to some of our conversations in chicago what feels like a LIFETIME ago and Im so inspired by and proud of you.

Chris said...

EXCELLENT post! This is so, so motivating and true. When you wrote that the real key to success is getting back OP right away, that just really resonated with me. Thank you for this post. The other bit that spoke to me was your assurance that over time the lust for junk will lessen. I'm on week #5 of MF and still wishing I could have my favorites. I thought it would always be a struggle against them. It's nice to know that gets better.

Anne H said...

Yes - it's like a roller-coaster ride.
We get much better at the ups and downs,
as time goes on!
More insightful and maybe a little better off, all the way around!

theresa said...

every day I check your blog to see what you're chatting about...... and now that your before and after photos are up I get a boost of inspiration EVERY time I open your blog! You look SOOOO GREAT!!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Lyn!
I may have deleted my own blog but I'm still reading YOURS almost every day.
I absolutely LOVE this post! I too have noticed that even though I fall off the band-wagon sometimes, I get back on sooner and don't take nearly as much time to jump back on.
Anyway though, I was gona tell you, I ran across a great author the other day (recommended to me by a firend)...her name is Geneen Roth. She was recently on Oprah I guess (?)--I duno, I live in London, so I don't really get the show over here,--but anyway, I really liked what she had to say about binge eating. She REALLY 'GETS It.' Just thought I'd pass along if you haven't checked out her website yet :-)
Keep up the good work!! You are still the one person who can inspire me when I'm down.