If there's one thing I've learned about this journey over the past three years, it's this: you can't please everybody, and you shouldn't bother trying (when it comes to weight loss). The only one who matters in YOUR weight loss journey is YOU. I don't mean I don't care about other people... obviously, I do. Trying to encourage is one thing; trying to *please* is something totally different.
It's human nature to speak one's opinions. There is nothing wrong with doing that! I have gotten some great insights and advice from comments on my blog. I love it! But you may have noticed I ignore a lot of the advice I get. And that's to keep my sanity!
There is the kind advice, which comes from people who actually do care and want to help me succeed.
There is the hostile (usually anonymous) criticism, from people who seem to have bitterness in their hearts.
Both forms of communication give information. When you get a comment with 'advice' or 'criticism', think about it for a minute. Maybe they have a point. But don't base your journey on what *everyone else says.*
Here's some of the advice/criticism I have gotten over the years on this blog:
You are eating too many calories. Cut back!
You eat way too much fruit. Bananas are high in sugar.
You need to exercise more. Try jogging, swimming, aerobics.
You are losing weight too slowly. I am not inspired anymore.
You are eating too few calories. You are going into starvation mode.
Why don't you eat fruit? Fruit is good for you!
Don't exercise right now, just focus on the eating.
You need counseling or you'll never lose the weight.
Try OA. You are an addict and cannot do this by yourself.
You are losing weight too quickly! That's bad for your body.
Stop drinking coffee. It's unhealthy.
Cut the sugar out of your diet. Try Splenda instead.
I love how you sort through issues in the past to resolve them. Do that more often!
You need to eat more beans.
You should go to Weight Watchers. You need the structure.
Close down the blog. It's not helping you lose weight, it's just a distraction.
Don't use artificial sweeteners. They are poison. Try agave nectar.
Why do you use honey in your tea? Honey is the same as sugar.
Three pounds a month is not ever going to get you to your goal.
Try doing some squats and lunges to strengthen your legs.
Stop dwelling in the past. Let the past go and quit bringing it up.
Cut out the beans and oatmeal, they are too high carb.
Persimmons can be toxic.
Drink more coffee. The antioxidants are good for you and the caffeine speeds up your metabolism.
You need to go to a binge eating disorder camp.
I think you are turning anorexic, you're not eating enough.
Agave nectar is really bad for you! Use sugar instead.
Why are you eating dark chocolate? You need to stop indulging to lose the weight!
Losing 10 pounds a month is so drastic. Slow it down a bit!
Medifast is a starvation diet.
You are eating too much protein.
You should not eat so many eggs, the cholesterol is bad for you.
You are just going to gain it all back when you go off Medifast.
You are too strict. Indulge once in awhile or you'll go crazy.
You are losing a bunch of muscle because you're not strength training.
You are losing weight so fast that you are going to have a real problem with loose skin.
I cannot believe it has taken you over three years to lose weight. How about getting serious?
See, if I tried to listen to *everyone*, I would go insane. I get all kinds of advice. Some of it is good, and based in fact. Some, not so much. Doesn't really matter. What matters is that over time, I have learned that I really DO know myself best. Sure, I make mistakes, but it's that part of the journey. I run things past my doctor. I do my research. And then I make decisions based on what *I* want, what *I* believe will help me the most. And so far, I am very happy with the results.
People criticized me back when I did a monthly calorie bank (x number of calories in a month, instead of a day) but it did work for me, for awhile. It taught me some things, and then I changed to another method. People tell me I am not doing enough or am doing too much of this or that. People say I should never have ice cream in the house, bake cookies, or feed my kids Pizza Hut. But see, the only one who knows all the details of my life, is me. Like I said before, I feel like I am getting a PhD in myself. I understand that not everyone knows that my knees are shredded and that if I did lunges and squats I would be in the hospital. I know not everybody remembers the pain I was in for weeks after doing gentle swim aerobics. I know not everyone agrees with me using artificial sweeteners NOW and going back to using honey LATER. And I know when I post that I put bacon in my split pea soup someone will have a fit about it. That's okay! I absolutely do not mind people sharing their opinions and thoughts! But let's be respectful. Me, I can take it... but I hate to see other bloggers who are newer at this and take a harsh comment very personally, letting it set them off to self doubt and sometimes overeating or stopping blogging because of it. Let's be kind.
I do thank everyone who has left suggestions and insights. I have definitely learned from all of you! But bloggers, and others: don't listen to the critics. If what YOU are doing is working for YOU, so be it. Smile and nod and keep doing what you're doing. Ask your doctor if you're worried about something. Do your own research, but do NOT worry about what everyone else thinks, says, or comments to or about you. If you are losing weight slow/fast enough for *yourself* that is what matters. We all have to deal with the consequences of our choices. But the very best part of this journey is learning about yourself. And it does take trial and error and lots of time to make that happen.
1 day ago