Friday, October 1, 2010

October 1, 2010: 186 Pounds

Today I weighed in at 186 pounds. If that number looks familiar, it should. That's what I weighed one month ago on September 1, 2010. A month has gone by, and my net loss is zero.

I wish I'd been better at tracking my on plan/off plan days, but I didn't mark them in my notebook like I usually do. I'd have to say I was probably off plan (at least in part) for about 1/3 of the days this month. That's a lot of days. And while I did manage to blog my feelings and pay attention to what was going on, it does bug me that I dropped the ball, here. Maybe on some level maintaining is what I *needed* to do mentally for a month after dropping 50 pounds since March. Or, maybe on some level I just didn't stay on plan because I like macaroni and cheese.

That's the bottom line, after all. It's always "what do I want more? This bowl of food or a day on plan?" Sometimes it is harder than other times, like when we have some emotional crisis and feel like we "need" the food to help us through. (We don't.) Sometimes it is like an addiction, where we think we will just DIE or fall completely apart if we don't get a brownie RIGHT NOW. (We won't). It can be hard. But if we won't do it, who will do it for us?

I was thinking about this the other day. Since a lot of people feel powerless and hopeless about weight loss, people tend to search for some magic answer. They think "I CAN'T lose weight" and they go on the hunt for someone or something that will MAKE it happen for them. Like the Biggest Loser. "Please, Bob and Jillian, do this for me. MAKE me do it! I can't do it myself." Or any number of fat camps or programs out there where a person can sort of "turn over" their power to someone or some program to MAKE them lose weight. By giving up choices and turning that over to whatever the "higher power" might be... God (the Weigh Down Diet and faith based weight loss programs including OA), a Meal Plan (Weight Watchers, Calorie Counting, Medifast, the Cookie Diet), or a physical barrier (Lap Band, gastric bypass, jaws being wired shut). So you give up some of your choices and power to some ONE or some THING else that is going to force you to lose the weight (with your consent, of course). Once you are on the Biggest Loser you are kind of compelled to do the program; once you start Weight Watchers and go to meetings and pay the fees you are somewhat compelled to continue; and once you get weight loss surgery you are forced to change the way you eat. And I think that is why people do these things. Because left to our own devices we got morbidly obese, and losing weight alone is really hard or seems impossible. So getting someone or something that compels you in the right direction can build momentum and push you to succeed.

But like anything there are ways around it. With a "Who's gonna make me?" attitude, any of us can rebel. After all, each of those things was a free choice we made. At any point a person can quit the Biggest Loser, leave fat camp, stop going to WW, quit eating their meal replacements, or drink chocolate shakes to get past the Lap Band. Even after gastric bypass it is OUR CHOICE, as we see so many people who find a way to regain the weight.

No one, nothing will make us lose weight. Not a support group, not a counselor, not a Lap Band, not Medifast. The only one who can make me lose weight, is me.

I see last month as a lesson. I did a lot of things right: walked at least a mile a day, 5 days a week; drank plenty of water; stayed active; stayed on my chosen plan most of the time; practiced moderation when I didn't. But the bottom line is that on some days I really did just want the macaroni and cheese more than I cared about another pound being gone. And thus, I got the macaroni and cheese, and no pounds are gone. I have a plan that really works, that I enjoy and that is very doable for me, BUT even if you find the "perfect" plan for your issues and health, the PLAN will not make you lose the weight if you do not knuckle down and say no to the candy bars. Might sound obvious, but too many times I hear "oh I tried Weight Watchers, it didn't work" or "well I did the South Beach diet and it didn't work." Since when does an inanimate object WORK? No, YOU must do the work. ANY reasonable plan can help a person lose weight... there are thousands of people who have successfully lost weight on any of these plans AND kept it off. So if it didn't "work" it's because you did not "work." And I am not saying every diet is right for every person, because it isn't. I was not successful on those other diets. But it isn't the diet's fault. I just had to spend the time to find something that is right for ME. Medifast is right for me. I know that. I have never felt better than when I follow this plan. It is easy and satisfying and my doctor is thrilled with the improvements in my health. It can be the perfect plan for me, but only if I follow it. Same for you. Once you find something that you ARE successful on, YOU have to make the choice to stay with it and turn down the junk and get your body moving, regardless of the weight loss method you've chosen.

Who's gonna make me lose weight? I am. I know I have the power. Yesterday I seriously wanted to do some baking. Artery clogging, gooey, fatty stuff. I had to say no because I did not want a weight GAIN for September. Not giving in to my *wants* is what will get me to the healthy state I *need.*

Watch for a new low next week :)

24 comments:

Christina said...

Ok, so you had a bad month. All you can do at this point is pick yourself up, dust off the dirt and get moving again. I am here to cheer you on!! Go over and read what I posted today, maybe you can find some inspiration in that today.

Chris said...

That is so true. My plan works when I follow it too! Hugs to you! I'd say maintenance is a success of sorts too...we all have trouble sometimes.

MaryBe said...

Staying the same is still a win! You will do better this month if that's what you really want

Glenn, Fat at Fifty-five said...

I don't think you can count a month as a bad one when you simply consolidated your loss. If you had gone up ten pounds over the course of the month you'd have more to be concerned about. I can understand cutting yourself some slack after all the discipline you've set for yourself.

Steelers6 said...

Well said, my friend. This was helpful for me and I'm sure many others.

Chrissy

Susan said...

Amen. We must do the work. It's all about considering ourselves worth it, ultimately. Thanks for a great post, it's right in line with thoughts I've had of late. Relaxing and following the plan, enjoying the process.

Anonymous said...

Very nicely stated.
This is a lesson we must all come to realize if we are going to make any progress.

Leslie said...

Anything works if we work it.

Honib1 said...

So .. you basically stayed the same.. its all about staying with what works for you and you know that so well.. still to me .. maintaining your weight for one month.. is good...

Lisa said...

I think a maintain for an entire month is awesome.

NewMe said...

I totally agree with Glen. I think you "consolidated" your loss. In the long run, this is as important as losing every month. How many people out there lose scads of weight and then gain every pound back plus a few more? Consolidation (and in the long run maintenance) are just as essential as seeing the scale go down every month.

BTW, in different words, this was the topic of my blog today. Serendipity.

Janice said...

I found you blog a few weeks ago. You are quite an inspiration. Just because you had one "bad" month doesn't mean you can't just get right back on your plan. You didn't gain so that alone proves you did a lot of things right! You can do anything you put your mind to.

Laura said...

You're so right! I made the choice to not give %100 to a plan, ergo it is my fault it did not work. Amen. :)

Dinah Soar said...

Great post Lyn--well said and we all need to hear this.

He Took MY Last Name said...

Lyn- when I started following your blog you weighed 250 lbs. I was 230. As you steadily lost weight, I remained at 230. I would gain or lose 5 lbs but always ended up back at 230 while you slowly but surely dwindled down to 186. Thats 65 lbs I've watched you lose and done nothing for myself. I felt despair, discouraged and disgusted. I started thinking it was impossible to do on my own. I was considering Medifast but its too expensive. Same with Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem. I was desperate for something. I was so unbelievably unhappy. Then on a whim, I joined WWonline. it was the single, most liberating thing i've ever done (even better than taking your bra off after a long day!) and I am thrilled to have found what works for me. Day 2 and I feel fantastic. I'm glowing.

You were right. I had to find what works for me. Maybe medifast isn't working for you anymore if you are craving mac n cheese. Maybe you need to find something else

Lyn said...

He took MY Last Name~

Wow! That is so powerful for me to read. I know that feeling because when I was stuck at 230-240 for over a year I watched other bloggers reach their goals and I felt SO sad for myself. But it IS true, we have to find what works for us and then work it!! I am so excited for you :)

I have considered that I may need to change plans, but I am going to give it a good hard 100% effort for October and see what happens.

Little Bee said...

Excellent point about us needing to do the work, not the plan.

And, what I keep saying to myself, it's not only about the number on the scale, it's about what's healthy eating and what (body) you want in the long run.

FYT614 said...

I'm glad you did this post and that you stated it the way that you did. Yes, it's true that we have bad days, etc. But I think that too often we make excuses about bad days. We are trying to change bad habits and a life style that does not work for us into good habits and a life style that does.

It's too easy for one 0 month to turn into two and then turn into a months of gaining. There are great lessons in a 0 month because that means you're not consuming too many calories. But if you're not trying to maintain, then I agree with you, you have to work the plan more.

Reflection is good. I don't think that you will have another 0 month until you want to. I posted about this very thing today. Bravo, for not being satisfied with 0. Zero will be amazing when you've reached your goal. WTG!!!

You are doing great.

Happy Fun Pants said...

I'm glad that you had a month like this in a way...so maybe the naysayers will stop and give you a break now.

Okay, probably not.

Lyn, you're changing your mind AND your body. You are successful - the old Lyn would've had one or two days off plan and then lost it. The old Lyn wouldn't have regrouped so quickly.

You have changed...and I'm so happy that you found something that works for you - and realistically, the changes that you made aren't horrible. Did you have some days off plan? Yes. But were they like your old binge eating days? Not even close.

You're doing great. Don't let anyone tell you differently...or if they do, send 'em to me. I'll kick them in the shins. :)

I Will Lay Down My Idols said...

Another great post. Your body might just be catching up w/ your new weight - however, it's a good warning for you to KOKO (keep on keeping on). Good insights there.
D

-J.Darling said...

I'm learning this about debt management as well. Those little purchases ADD UP, but in the moment, I felt I needed it, etc.

In the end, I realize I have all the tools at my fingertips that I need to succeed. All I have to do is the simpliest part. In fact, it's so simple, it's easy to get distracted -

And that's use 'em!

Cynthia said...

You had a month practicing maintaining. It's not so bad. You didn't gain weight back. Ultimately, this past month, when you are at goal, is exactly what you'll need to be doing.

Also, dieting is hard on the body. It makes it tough to recover from exercise and it's just generally against what the body wants. A little bit of a diet break is not always a bad thing.

I bet you do just fine this next month!

Michele said...

I stop by your blog once in a while. This post resonated with me. Successful weight loss is about taking personal responsibility for it and not giving it to someone else or some THING. Nicely worded.

Just Me said...

All I can add is Fantastic Post...the truth in all its glory.