Sunday, October 10, 2010

I Saw Ribs!! and Weigh In

Yesterday I was in the bathroom doing my usual body-loving prep for a soak in an Epsom salts chamomile bath (I do dry skin brushing) when I saw something in the mirror that made me stop and stare. Ribs!! Yes, I saw the bottom of my ribcage above my waist! There it was, a bony protrusion on both sides, and I was not even sucking it in! I can't tell you how triumphant that felt. I forgot how my body looks when it's not obese. I turned from side to side and admired the thinning waist and the definition of those lovely ribs. I haven't seen them in a long, long time.

It's exciting! When I lie down, my hip bones stick out... a LOT. They are like rocks on each side and I can cup my hand over the bone. My knees when standing are still a mess, but when lying down the bones in my knees bump together now instead of being cushioned apart by thigh fat. I have collarbones, a jawline, and a spine poking out a little instead of just dimpling into the fat. And my butt hurts when I sit on a hard chair for long. When this stuff first started happening, it scared me. I felt vulnerable. It made me feel mortal, as silly as that sounds. "Hey, under all this fluff I am just bones. I am a skeleton." And I related boniness to death, and I didn't like it at all, and I ate more and put some padding back on until I dealt with it. Remembering the people in my childhood who I loved and lost to cancer... how I watched their bodies go bony and skeletal as they lost weight and finally died. I was subconsciously relating to that as I lost weight, and felt a stronger than normal fear of death. It took me awhile to work through it, but I mostly have got my head straight about it now. Mostly. Enough that now, the new bones coming through does not set me into a spiral of fear and binge eating. So today, I celebrate my ribs.

Last week I dropped 8 pounds so I wasn't sure if I'd lose much this week. I stayed 100% on plan, made lots of yummy meals, and ate dinner out one night at a fancy restaurant. It was rainy so I only got to walk a mile 3 days last week. I focused on getting quality protein and fresh veggies in, and staying away from the junk. I even did some baking yesterday, if you missed it. And today, the scale says 181 pounds. Wow! I am so close to the 170's! It seems surreal. My head cannot get around that number. But it will! I lost 4 pounds this week for a total of 97 pounds gone. I'll take it!

Keep trying, never give up. You can make it happen!

32 comments:

Cathy said...

97 pounds! That is fantastic. Congratulations.

Kimberly said...

I am so excited for you. You are almost to the goal line and losing 100 lbs. Yipee!

When I first saw my collar bone for the fist time in decades it was absolutely thrilling to see something instead of a mass of fat. Congratulations on this milestone. You've worked long and hard to get here.

Leslie said...

Fantastic Lyn - you rock! Can't wait for the 100 lbs off pics!

K. said...

wow lyn!what a milestone this is and an even bigger one you are about to reach with 100 lbs lost! You totally inspire me. I've followed your journey for so long, I am very of you! keep up the awesome work!
K.
www.it-is-time.com

Debbie said...

Congrats on the loss and WOW you are getting close to 100 lbs gone. You go girl...

spunkysuzi said...

You are totally kicking those pounds away!!

Lisa said...

You are a rock star girl!!! I am so happy for you.

Anonymous said...

Lyn.
You are AMAZING!
Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

Anonymous said...

I keep going back and forth on whether or not to use Medifast and every time you blog like this I get a little closer to wanting to start. Congratulations!

NewMe said...

Congratulations, Lyn!

I can really sympathize with the skinny=sick thing. The only time I have lost weight easily was when I was sick with my thyroid or extremely depressed. I am always ambivalent about seeing the numbers go down, I admit.

Leigh@SAPL said...

Excellent post! Keep going and keep posting! :)

Linda said...

Lyn!!! I can only imagine how good you must feel. Kudos for never giving up even after giving in from time to time :) I can't wait until the day comes where I too can experience not only the scale victories but the non scale ones too!

Linda

Anonymous said...

Congratulations ! You will do it. You are so close to 100 pounds, That´s awesome.

screwdestiny said...

Congrats on the great loss this week AND on being able to see/feel bones. I think often people see anorexics or sick people and associate seeing bone with that being really unhealthy, but in actuality, it's not most of the time. We're meant to be able to see parts of the underlying structure of the body, so embrace it! You are just going to keep getting better and better!

Kathi said...

Congrats on the great weight loss this week! I look forward to you joining me in the 100 pound lost club! It truly is a big accomplishment! I remember when I felt my xiphoid process the little bone that hand down from where your rib join together. I went to the doctor thinking it was a mass of some sort! It was a little embarassing to say the least.
Keep up the great job!

Dinah Soar said...

Healthy fear is a good thing. But the other kind is a killer--a destroyer of hopes and dreams. I find it is best to not over think things. Being rational means putting stuff in perspective and the stuff of childhood all too often is blown out of proportion by our brain and perception. It helps to realize everyone has bad stuff happen growing up, but not everyone makes a big deal out of it. When I realized that fact my life got better. Sounds like yours is getting better as well. Living in the past does no good. Best to let it go and focus on the future.

Congrats on the to date success and soon you'll be a hundred pounds lighter and on to the next hurdle--maintenance. It will bring its own set of challenges but I think you are ready for it.

Anonymous said...

Yeah! great job! Invest in a running jacket (because it has ventilation) and hat and you'll be good to go for walks even in the rain. I live in a very raining city lol so if I want to get exercise that is what I have to do. It is actually very refreshing :)

thegardenweigh said...

Great weigh-in and how cool to see your ribs again! That's what I call progress!

@Linda. Look hard for those non-scale victories... they may exist in your life NOW. It can be tiny things, like an improvement in how you breathe, or if something hurts less, or just a challenge you set yourself and do.

Some days, the non-scale victory is just that you got through a day on your plan. I had a day like that Friday. Wanted to order pizza badly... did not do so.

Ice Queen said...

Mmmm... Ribs...

*inappropriate* ^^

Congrats on getting bony, m'dear. It must be wonderful to spend some time getting to know old friends, again.

Congratulations! :D

Steve said...

AWESOME! :D

Vee said...

Soooo jealous! I'm getting there, tho. Thanks for your regular posting because it sure gives me things to think about. Vee at http://veegettinghealthy.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Congrats on both the lbs gone and the ribs!

I like how you share your thinking process because it makes me think about my own. Usually I am too busy with life, but now I am taking that time for myself to figure things out. The self-sabotage and such.

Your next big goal is just on the horizon. I hope you breeze right through it. I am rooting you on Lyn!

~Misty

Stephanie said...

97 pounds is such an accomplishment! Congrats!

Meg said...

Brilliant! Yeah, Lyn!!!

Tamika said...

That is so awesome. You inspire me so much!!!! In all I have 96lbs tolose and seeing that youlost 97 gives me hope that it can be done. Thank you so much and keep up the good work! oh and also Yayyyy to your ribs! lol :)

Fat Grump said...

Oh the lovely bones!:)

I envy you your visible rib-cage Lyn! :) Great progress...real signs that the cushions of flesh are vanishing.

I'll be happy when I get my wrist bones and ankle bones back. My wrists have thickened(the bone used to stick out) and my ankles are quite puffy and bloated since I gained weight :(
Things to look forward to.

Oh almost 100lbs Lyn! How exciting! Good going!

Twix said...

You're making great progress! Congratulations!!! :D

Hope said...

I remember cleary the days that I kept finding random bones that I could have swore I never felt before. It's a seriously good feeling! One of my very first goals was to see my collarbones. Congrats! :)

Tim said...

Wow! Amazing.

This is day 1 of my weight loss so to read other people achieving great success is really motivating!

Well done!! :)

Tim

timmoyoungfatboythin.blogspot.com

Happy Fun Pants said...

You have SO much to be proud of.

YAY YOU! :)

Renee said...

Anonymous -

If you decide to try Medifast (and we hope that you do!), don't forget to use Lyn's coupon code (LYNESC50) to receive $50 off of a $275+ order!

Best,
Renee
PR Coordinator
Medifast, Inc.

Spaghetti Cat said...

You rock Lyn! Way to go girl :)