Friday, August 6, 2010

Not Yet!

I was reaaaaaaaaaaaally hoping to see 188 on the scale today! I am leaving on vacation Sunday, and I would LOVE to post "90 pounds gone" pictures and measurements before I go. But I was still 189 this morning. Maybe tomorrow! I can hardly wait. I really want it.

I continue to have moments where my head and body do not mesh. The other day, I went into a public bathroom and as I shut the door, I was turned sideways to a very large mirror. I caught a glimpse of myself and had to do a double take. I immediately thought, "I look normal!" I looked several times. I did not see a fat lady. It was so weird..

Then yesterday I was sitting on my bed reading a favorite book from my childhood... Island of the Blue Dolphins. I love that book. Our teacher read it to us everyday in third grade and had us lay our heads on our desks on folded arms with the lights dimmed so we could imagine the story. It became part of me. I used to spend hours on my own "island" under the big maple tree, hiding in the snowball bushes that were old and overgrown and hollow inside the branches, like caves. I'd hide my "food" and "treasures" in those caves, and then climb into the tree and watch for ships to come on the grassy green fields that were my imaginary oceans. I'd talk to my invisible dog and think about sailing away to a new world. But I digress (I love the book). I was sitting there on my bed with the book on my lap and my knees bent, and I looked down at my waist, belly, and legs and thought, "I look the same as I did at 278 pounds." I had to sit there and stare and try to remember if I used to be fatter. Of course I KNOW I was fatter... I was in size 26 jeans instead of 14's... but somehow, my brain kept telling me I looked exactly the same. So strange.

But overall I see myself as I am... thinner... more often than I see the shadows of my old self. Reality is setting in. I couldn't find my jean shorts the other day and went looking for them. I had mixed them up with my teenage son's jean shorts! And he isn't heavy at all! And sometimes, I hold up my (size M) shirts and think, "there is no way this will fit, it would be too tight" but I slip it on and it is perfect. I am pretty proud of myself!

Well, I will be heading out Sunday morning and I will be gone for over a week. I won't have Internet at the campgrounds but I may get online here and there if I find a computer with access. We do not take technology with us on vacation. I am going to set up some automatic posts so there will still be new stuff on the blog while I am gone, but I am turning on comment moderation because, well, some of the things people say just don't belong here! Plus all the spam... The comments will show up when I get home.

Anyway, when I get back I will have LOTS of experiences to share and pictures, too! I am taking the kids and the dog and we will be camping, hiking, beach combing, going to the zoo and aquarium, and hanging out in nature. I won't be around a scale til I get back. Would be nice to have some pounds gone when I return! So while I am not 188 quite YET... cross your fingers for tomorrow! Otherwise those 90 Gone pictures will have to wait til I get back :)

23 comments:

Shane G. said...

two things. Yaaaay you! you will get that 188 don't even sweat it! second, I want to put the graph you have on my blog. how do I do that? Puhleeeease help a brutha out!

Banded Girl said...

Have fun on your vacation, Lyn! (Island of the Blue Dolphins was one of my favorite books growing up, too!)

Lyn said...

Shane~

if you mean you want my exact chart, just right click, copy and save. Then insert image. If you mean YOUR sparkpeople chart, right click it, save, then use a program to save as a jpeg file (photoshop or other program) and insert image. If you mean, where did I get such a cool graph? You can make one on sparkpeople for free! HTH!

Ice Queen said...

Have a wonderful time on your vacation, Lyn.

You will be 188. Tomorrow or when you get home. You know that you will be there. You can be secure in that.

Anonymous said...

Have a wonderful time camping!
I've been looking forward to pictures!
Marie

She woke up FAT said...

I love camping , have a great time. When you get back you will be 188

I Will Lay Down My Idols said...

Have a super time! Thanks for sharing your experiences w/ the new look of you -- it helps me to realize that this too is "normal"! We have The Island of Blue Dolphins (kids read it) but I haven't...will have to haul it out myself!
D

Margie M. said...

Have a wonderful time in the great outdoors. Now that you are down so much in your weight you will really enjoy the hiking or walking through the campground. You are awesome!

Theresa said...

Are you doing 5 & 1 or 4 & 2 while camping? I think you should take those photos tomorrow regardless of the fact you might be one pound shy. You are THERE girl!!!

Lyn said...

Theresa~

I am going to do 5 & 1 unless I hike "vigorously" (i.e. uphill) for over 45 minutes. Then I might do 4 & 2 on those days. I am so excited!!! I just packed my Medifast food... tons of boxes of pretzels, puffs, and bars with some drinks mixed in there.

Kim said...

Hi Lyn,

You are such an inspiration to me I read your blogs and get so encouraged. I have a question for you how did you do it, what keep you from giving up. You have been at this for three years with the good the bad and the weight gains. Impressive strength! Girl, can I be honest with you I want to give up every other day but before I do I read you blog and make it to the next day. Have a wonderful trip.
www.fightthefatonedayatatime.
blogspot.com

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

Lyn...

You sound all prepared, I hope you have a FABULOUS time! I'm sure you will reach your goal soon too. You're on a roll! (and not the edible kind!)

~Margene

Mrs. Thighs said...

Have a wonderful vacation -- especially now that you'll be able to do so many more things!

spunkysuzi said...

Have a fantabulous vacation :)

Sarabei said...

Enjoy your vacation! I love Island of the Blue Dolphins too! I probably read it once a year too.

Anonymous said...

It´s so exciting to see your pictures soon. You are doing great !
Have a nice and relaxing vacation !

Fit B said...

You will get there soon enough!!!! Have fun on vacation

Anonymous said...

Just had to comment: First, yay for you ! Second, Island of the Blue Dolphins was THE book for me in third grade. I was just telling my son about it the other day , hoping to add fuel to the fire that is his growing interest in reading books ( he's 6 years old). Happy to read that I'm not alone in my 3rd grade love of "Island".

Baby Stepping said...

I am so excited for you!

McCulley's said...

strange how our minds play tricks on us. I do that also.

word verif: upsti pronounced- upstie: (adj) what my upstairs is, a pig sty upstairs.

Sarah (Fat Little Legs) said...

You know looking down from that angle is evil... I know exactly what you are talking about. I do it now 102 pounds thinner and think I have lost nothing, this is horrible. Our mind plays tricks on us. I am glad that yours is catching up to the thinner you!

McCulley's said...

all I can say is Wow! Look at your little hot self.

The Captain's Daughter said...

Enjoy every minute of your vacation! Can't wait to have you back!

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