Sunday, August 1, 2010

August 1, 2010: 191 Pounds

Another month has gone by, and for the fourth month in a row I have dropped exactly 7 pounds. Hey, I'll take it! Seven pounds a month is a good rate. I had hoped for more this month but with my off plan eating last week I gained 3 and then this week lost that same 3. Actually I hit 196 pounds on Tuesday (!!!) but it must have been water bloat because when I stayed 100% on plan, it all came right off.

I am ready now for a new 'decade.' And when I lose just 3 more pounds I'll hit the 90 Pounds Gone mark and do new progress pictures. I can hardly wait!

I admit, two weeks ago when I hit 191 rather quickly, I felt like I was not ready to be in the 180's. I was feeling a little anxious about 90 pounds being gone. I mean, hey, I *JUST* spent 2 weeks shopping for new jean shorts that fit me, got some I loved, and suddenly they are getting baggy. I was NOT looking forward to shopping again, doing the whole 'purge the closet' thing again, trying to redefine my body in my head again. And then, when I noticed the weird forearm skin thing, it was almost too much. That's when I went into some kind of emotional crisis (compounded by life issues) and 'defense mode'... and we all know the defense to getting too thin for one's comfort.... EAT! Gain weight. It buys time for the mind to get ready for more big changes. Not consciously, of course. I did not consciously say, "oh gee, this is uncomfortable, I think I will gain some weight back!" But I am aware enough of my *process* now that when I look back at why I screwed around, I am pretty sure this is the real reason why.

Regardless, I am ready now. I am ok with the changes in my body. Yeah, there is some strange stuff showing up lately: a lower belly that seems to have a life of its own... deflated, saggy... I can grab a couple handfuls and fold it over on itself a little bit. Gross. But I have to remember that adding 40 pounds of fat to my abdomen so it is nice and poofy and tight is NOT exactly a win, here. This is just something I have to accept... until, ten or twenty or thirty pounds later, it transforms again into who knows what... something better, something worse... but it is just part of me. It does take time to get used to seeing things on your body that you have never seen before, but I am paying attention and learning to accept it all.

I will be going camping with my kiddos for a week in August. It's going to be interesting camping on Medifast. I'll have to take several boxes of easily portable stuff like bars, pretzels, and puffs. I'll be outside my usual eating routine (I pretty much eat the same things every day, but some of those things require ice and a blender or boiling water.) I will have to find a way to bring enough vegetables, too. Some will go in the cooler but I may resort to bringing a can of green beans and a can opener for simplicity, too. I will have to find a way to get enough drinking water and access to a potty. Protein shouldn't be an issue; we always do fish, burgers, chicken, etc on the grill. I can grill some veggies too if they will stay fresh in the cooler. There will be plenty of walking and hiking. There will also be a lot of driving and a few restaurant stops but I am staying away from the fast food and can order something healthy. I love vacations and the time to bond with my kids with NO video games. I am not sure how the trip will affect my weight, but I will do my best and not stress about it.

I am SO excited about a fresh new month! Make it *your* month, too!

*FTC-required disclosure: Medifast provided me with its products for my personal use for free. Medifast states an "average weight loss of up to 2 to 5 pounds a week."*

16 comments:

Leslie said...

Congratulations! I totally relate to the not being ready for the new decade at a deep level. I think that's what REALLY happened when I went batsh*t crazy after my knee surgeries and I was at 192. You're really over the biggest hump, Lyn, I think. Life and our inner landscpes will always send stuff that makes us stumble and scramble for awhile, but once we get to a point, we're less likely to turn back. Maybe mini fall backs, like you had, but not the big relapses of the past.

I hope you have a great time camping with the kids! I 'spect there'll be less of you next week!

Fat Grump said...

Isn't it great that you are already planning what you'll be eating when you are camping and thinking about the likely pitfalls and ways you can avoid them?

I remember reading about your trips away with the family before and the despair you felt when you couldn't keep up with them, couldn't walk far, couldn't join in and felt awful because your weight held you back. Haven't you come a long, long way? :)

You sound very strong and very determined Lyn. You have done so well!

moonduster said...

You are doing GREAT! Have a fun time on your trip with your kids!

I had to deal with the forearm things too, and the saggy, extra skin on my belly as well as my boobs looking like deflated balloons.

But the good news is, over time, it DOES improve. It doesn't completely go away, but things do begin to firm and tighten up more than they appear to at first.

moonduster said...

You are doing GREAT! Have a fun time on your trip with your kids!

I had to deal with the forearm things too, and the saggy, extra skin on my belly as well as my boobs looking like deflated balloons.

But the good news is, over time, it DOES improve. It doesn't completely go away, but things do begin to firm and tighten up more than they appear to at first.

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

Oh my, how I relate to the body changes! I've got flaps on my upper arms and even my kids are amazed to see and stare in wonder... embarrassing! But it's all worth it to feel better, even though it takes a while to believe it and emotionally deal with it. :)

Yes, I went camping on plan too... sounds like you are going to be prepared. Preparation is the key. Have you made muffins with the oatmeal? Muffins are easy to have. Also cottage cheese might be fun to have as half of your lean some days. Veggie kabobs, lettuce for salads... you probably have all your ideas down already. I hope you have a FABULOUS time!!!

~Margene

Crys said...

You make a great point about being mentally ready for the lower number. That's a huge part of it. Congrats on continued success!

Tina said...

Lyn I'm SOO happy to hear how well you are doing!! Congrats!!! You must feel great and I look forward to hearing about your trip!

Two Fat Girls Take Umbrage said...

I think you are brave for planning and going on the trip, when it might be easier to stay on track at home. We definitely need to LIVE while we are working on ourselves. Have fun! Jo

Lanie Painie said...

I too have discovered the "flab apron" recently and it is just freakin' weird, isn't it? Kind of funny. And itchy too. I can't wait to be in the 190s myself. Under 250 sounds like a good goal for me this week. I hope I can do it!

Jamie said...

My friend has that lower belly thing going she had it before her baby and it got worse. We joke around cuz it feels like bread dough. For some reason she finds it comforting when she is stressed she plays with it. Talk about accepting your body! but she just tucks it in her pants and you can not tell its there. Lol I am not sure if that helps but I felt like sharing!

Mrs. Thighs said...

Congrats on having such an awesome month! Have a great time camping --I'm sure it'll be awesome, now that you're so much more active.

Lori said...

Lyn,
Enjoy your children and just do your best with the food. Try not to worry about the scales. You don't want to sacrifice the precious time you have with them.

To overcome my issues with keeping enough clothes for my ever shrinking body, I've taken to shopping at thrift stores. In a few weeks, I'm going to consign some clothes. That way I'll have $$ to get new ones. This is a new experience for me, and I'm excited to see how it works out.
Lori

Lisa said...

Congrats to you!

- Lisa
http://inweighovermyhead.blogspot.com

Shane G. said...

Lyn, your description of how you are going to handle the change in routine is spot on perfect!! I love that. I have had to do some future planning lately to keep from being put in a situation where I would go off plan. I have not had to consider a week though!! YOu go have a blast camping and enjoying all the things you couldn't do before!!

Lynne said...

I am glad to see how well you are doing ! I am jealous and mopey... Will you share your MOJO please???

Hope said...

Congrats on making it to 191! I remember when I first made it there, that's so exciting! Keep up the good work!

I will tell ya, on the belly thing...I have the same thing, and not gonna lie, it hangs down off of me when I do pushups or any exercise on my hands and knees. I've accepted it as a part of me, as a reminder of where I've been.

It's funny too, because for me, it's an indicator as well. I can always tell when I've gained a little weight, and have to watch what I eat because that's always the first thing to look puffy.

'grats again, and here's to a fresh new month!