Thursday, July 1, 2010

Optimism

My day pretty much went downhill after this morning. After a particularly stressful evening, I was almost in tears and feeling completely lost when I stepped outside on my front porch to try to calm myself in the cool, moist air. As soon as I stepped onto the porch, I saw this:


The photo doesn't do it justice. It was huge and bright and formed a complete arch across the sky. Somehow, when I saw it, I felt a little more hopeful, and cared about. Tears formed in my eyes and I stood taking it in, listening to the slow drizzling rain and breathing the cool air. I am not the kind of person to look for 'signs' anymore, but I dunno, it just felt like someone cared about me when I saw it.

Thank you all for the wonderful words of support and friendship in this stressful time.

A long time ago I was given a religious blessing, meant to guide my life. Part of the blessing said, "Look for the good, and you will find it." Many times in my life those words have come back to me. I remember walking a dirt road lined with irrigation ditches one day after I'd lost my baby. I was depressed. I couldn't cope with the loss. The dust kicked up and dirtied my ankles with every step; my tears dripped, leaving imperceptible mud puddles along the way. The tall brown weeds with splotches of drab green were shoulder-high and gave me even more of a sense of isolation and hopelessness as I walked. When I thought I could bear it no longer, the words floated through my mind: Look for the good, and you will find it. At that very moment my eyes rested upon a bright yellow wildflower waving in the breeze on its tall stem amidst the weeds. Its beauty was a gift. Look for the good... the flowers among the weeds. Look up and see the rainbows, and not the muddy ground.

I thought of it again this evening. It's true, we all have good in our lives even in the worst of circumstances. Someone else always has it better; someone always has it worse. We can choose to focus on what is wrong or what is right. I am choosing the rainbows.

It's going to get better.

21 comments:

Autumnforest said...

That has always been my policy in life. And, as hard as it is to believe, every bad thing that ever happened to me had a good twist in the end--even if it was a lesson learned or a new perspective or inner strength. It's actually easier to look for the good--like studying the rainbow--it was just there--big and in your face. The bad things you have to peck around and look for because they're in the details of life and not in your face.

Sandy said...

Good choice Lyn! May you always find the rainbow when you most need it.

globalmom said...

Lyn, you are such a talented writer, just wanted you to know. I hope things improve for you--I definitely think the universe is speaking to you through the skies--amazing! Take care, and my prayers are with you and yours.

Winner at a Losing Game said...

Yep, it is all in our choices.

Mishe@EatingJourney said...

it's a choice..everyday.

thank you for this, I needed this.

Anonymous said...

Hi Lyn!
I think that rainbow is God's way of showing you that you have many people praying for you! I have been praying for you the last few days and I will continue to pray for you.
Sarah Lownsbery
sarah_lownsbery(@)yahoo(dot)com

Spaghetti Cat said...

Hang in there Lyn, you are right, things will get better ((hugs))

Verity Vaudeville said...

It is going to get better. For all of us :)

carla said...

hugs.

and I am choosing rainbows today with you.


Carla

Lissa said...

I hope things get better FAST, Lyn!

Lanie Painie said...

beauty is all around us. You are part of it!

Fat Grump said...

Oh Lyn, I want to hug you. x x x

Just wanted you to know I fully understand those days when you ache inside from hurt and sorrows...some past, some current, but they can bring us down and only a super-human being could get past them without some introspection. I used to feel SO alone during such times. Even my prayers seemed useless. Yes, looking for the good helps, always. All I know is, this too shall pass..all the hurts and worries and unfairnesses. They fade..they don't go away but we gain some perspective and we go on. We do become strong because we get through the tough times. I used to think I lived under a black cloud - I tried to remain positive and upbeat but I actually think bottling stuff up is damaging and times of reflection and letting the tears flow do help, in a strange way. They are cleansing and renewing. They set us up for the days ahead, which might not be wonderful, but we somehow get through them. Lots of our worries and circumstances aren't likely to disappear as if by magic, but the clouds do eventually break to allow the sun to stream into our lives once again.'Chin up' sounds like such a cliche..but you have shown me and so many others through your blogging that you are one tough and smart cookie.

It's horrible, always having to feel you're strong, always feeling the load is yours to carry alone (been there...still there to an extent) but we do survive. If I could throw out a big hug to you, to wrap you in, over the many miles between us, I would. Just know you are wrapped in all the love I can send via these words. You'll get through this - I know you will. x x x

first steps said...

What a beautiful post! I agree, we must always look for the good and choose the rainbows!!

401sue said...

We are stronger than we think. You are amazing. Sending strength, hugs, and good health wishes.

Sue

Theresa said...

Photographs can never capture the beauty of nature, I can only imagine how wonderful that rainbow looked!
I'm heading on holidays today, but will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

hugs as always,
Theresa

Margie M. said...

We cannot enjoy the rainbow if we do not endure the rain.

I hope things begin to go well for you, Lyn. That rainbow is a sign of great new beginnings for you!

Margie M. writes at:
www.myhealthylivingthruweightcontrol.blogspot.com

Julia said...

Great post :)
Wishing you a happy 4th weekend :)

kgrenier12 said...

Thank you for today's post.

Powerful stuff beautifully written.

Wishing you more wild flowers!

K.
Boston, MA

Annie said...

"I am choosing the rainbows"...I love that. I hope your days are brighter soon!

Lori said...

I am glad you are able to find the good in the midst of all the bad. That is huge!
Lori

Hanlie said...

The angels never leave us...