Thursday, July 15, 2010

Off the Floor

Today I went to an event with my daughter where I was asked to sit on the floor. I sat down and was on the hard, tile floor for 15 minutes when I realized how comfortable I was. I was sitting with my arms loosely around my bent knees... a position that was physically impossible for me not long ago, when my 56 inch belly was in the way. And when it was time to get up, I had no trouble standing without hefting my giant arse up, getting on all fours, and pushing myself up rear-first like a toddler learning to stand... which is how I used to get up IF I could get up at all. Really, I remember writing long ago on my blog about the first time I signed my little girl up for a Mommy & Me gymnastics class and we had to get up and down off the floor and march in circles to warm up. I'd lost a bit of weight by then and KNEW that if I had not, I'd have cancelled the class due to sheer embarrassment at my inability to get up off the floor in a dignified manner.

Nowadays, it's nothing to go from floor to standing without dramatics, injury, or assistance. I do it all the time at home, when I sit down to play with my daughter or pick things up off the floor. I do it in her classes or when there is nowhere to sit, because standing for long periods makes my knees ache. I sit on the ground when I watch her practice soccer for an hour, and I sit in a shady grass patch at the park while she plays with friends (when I am not up playing with her, which I often am). I used to hover around the benches or chairs wherever we went, looking desperate and FEELING desperate to sit but unable to get myself to the floor and back up. People would notice and offer me their seats, which I took gratefully and out of necessity. I felt handicapped by my own limited mobility, and I was only in my mid-30's. I felt like an old lady. A very unfit old lady.

Hitting rock bottom for me was not just figurative. Being unable to sit on the floor and unable to rise up off the floor if I had to was humiliating. If I fell, I could not get up easily if at all. But now, I have pulled myself up, I am off the floor and I am strong. I am free to participate in all of life's events, whether there will be chairs there for me or not. This weight I am losing, it's not just pounds of fat. It's the weight of being afraid, being disappointed in myself, being hopeless and feeling incapable. It's like I've been healed of a debilitating condition. I do not take that for granted. I am so thankful every day.

I am off the floor, and that's where I am going to stay.

25 comments:

Debbie said...

Getting down on the floor and then being able to get up is wonderful. I can get down, but my hubby has to help me up and no way is it comfortable on the floor. You have done great.

Misti said...

First time commenter here. ;D This is so inspiring to me. I'm not doing anything about my weight right now, but every day I read your blog & feel a little more motivated. I want to feel the same things you're feeling. Thank you for sharing like you do.

Margie M. said...

Boy, that must have felt great !!! Congratulations on yet another achievement in your journey to a healthier YOU. Have a great day, Lyn.

Margie M. writes at:
www.myhealthylivingthruweightcontrol.blogspot.com

elleblogs said...

So happy for you Lyn! I have sort of stopped blogging, but I may email you this weekend. :)

Lanie Painie said...

Lyn; you gave me something to look forward too! I wonder how long it will be until I can do that. I totally know what you mean about hovering around benches and chairs hoping somebody will offer their seat.

Lori Ann said...

Lyn,

This is a great post. Strikes home.

spunkysuzi said...

Indeed get down and up off of the floor is wonderful! I really am amazed at how much better my arthritis is when i'm eating healthy and i am so thankful for being able to move better.

Anonymous said...

Hi Lyn,

I know you have blogged before about your health problems (in regards to joint issues, pain, etc.) and now that you have lost quite a bit of weight, I know you have been having less frequent/severe pain but I was wondering, has there been any lasting damage, like bad enough to need surgery? And if so, are you planning on having any constructive knee (or other) surgery (not necessarily replacement) but maybe arthroscopic? The reason I ask is because I have had many non-weight related surgeries due to injuries so I am always curious when it comes to other people's injuries. Has your doctor ever talked about that before or is the pain better now to where it might not be necessary? Another reason why I ask is because I was curious if you were well enough to do more intense exercise (such as long-distance walking or maybe even, running). Triathlon training can be so fun and peaceful (in my opinion, cause it's something I have done in the past by myself) so I thought it might be an idea for you if your body allowed it; it can be a great way to destress. All the best!

LA said...

Congratulations! What a wonderful feeling. :)

Lyn said...

Anonymous~

The last time I saw my orthopedic surgeon I was still morbidly obese. The scans/films of my knees showed a lot of damage (severe degenerative arthritis, very little cartilage left, bone spurring, torn meniscus). He told me there is no doubt I would need total knee replacements, in his words, "soon." He did say that losing weight could put off the need for surgery for a time.

Anyway, I am going to have to have something done at some point. My goal right now is to put it off as long as possible because over time, the procedures available get better and less invasive.

I am never going to be able to run or jog with the injuries/damage I have, and right now my limit on walking is two miles, after which I end up hurting myself and being unable to walk at all for days or weeks, so I don't push it.

Lori said...

Lyn,
Congratulations on yet another milestone. I had a hard time getting on the floor & up again. I even hated bending over to pick something up. I thought it was because I was getting old. I'd lost quite a bit of weight before I realized the truth!
Lori

Jennifer said...

Hi Lyn. Great post today. Its funny because now that I got some weight off I am actually having a problem sitting on the ground! Apparently I had a butt bone under all the flub for all these years and it is taking some time for me to adjust to sitting on it now that I have lost some. haha.

I thought of you this morning. They were talking on the radio about sugar substitues like aspertame and splenda and such. I had no idea that these "fake" sugars had so many negatives to them and actually can make you crave sugary foods. I had no idea. They said splenda is 600X sweeter than sugar and therefore activates some kind of sweet craving. For some reason you popped in my head because I remembered you saying how Sugar negatively affects you. do you have any of the issues with the artificial stuff? They also said it causes bloating. Who knew all this time I was trying to help myself and maybe I wasnt!!!

Have a good day!

Jennifer
http://wecanlosethepounds.blogspot.com/

Lyn said...

Jennifer~

I don't seem to have any issues with artificial sweeteners, but I know they are not good for me. I am using them right now as sort of a crutch to give me some sweetness while being low carb, but once the weight is off, I intend to cut out artificial sweeteners and just enjoy fruit and the occasional bit of local honey or real maple syrup.

Laura said...

That is so great, and what an amazing moment to note. You're an amazing person!

Mandy said...

Congrats, Lyn! You are an inspiration to so many! I'm hoping as I lose weight, I'll be able to polish my toenails and breathe at the same time! Good job!

I Will Lay Down My Idols said...

Awesome! I'm happy for you! D

Patti D said...

Lyn, I know MF just came out w/ some new products. I'm curious if you will be reviewing them in the future? The ice cream has piqued my interest!

Lyn said...

Patti D~

Yes. Three of the new products are on their way to my house already and I will review them when I get them! :)

dajoker002 said...

Lyn, regarding the knee damage, I hear you -- I have the same, and the 50 lbs that I have lost thus far has made things much easier. (It'll be even better when I lose the rest!)

One thing that has helped me is the synthetic synovial fluid injections (the brand I get is Euflexxa, though there are others like SynVisc) every 6 months or so through my orthopedist. I still have days where the arthritis gets to me, but they are much fewer and farther between, and I have many more pain-free days.

I'm not to that point of getting up off the floor easily, though. I look forward to that day!! I can remember having trouble as early as Jr. High or High School, though being diagnosed with the arthritis when I was a senior probably had something to do with that.

I really like your writing style, and check your blog often. Thanks!

Gelene said...

Off the floor. I have been there Lyn, and hope to be back. I am so filled with the spirit of KNOWING I can, WE can do this. I have read your post on the Medifast offer. I know I am commenting on the wrong post, but I have read and have seen all the other comments on that post and wanted sweetly plead my case. I and my DH need this program. I have weighed #400 and after a long fight finally had gastric bypass. I lost #156. Had two babies and life was good. Well, after two babies "life" hit. It hit hard. I forgot to take time for me, I forgot to take care of me. Long story short; I am now back up to #315. I don't know the rules of Medifast but if they would allow me this gift, it would fit in with my gastric bypass life style. I so NEED this kick in the bun to get me back on track. Taking care of me, taking the time for me; so I can get "off the floor" again, for my family.

Joy said...

Way to go - that is an awesome feeling!! A while back I caught myself crossing my legs. Have never been able to do it. It was an amazing feeling. I am finding out new things like this every day. It's awesome!! Keep going - you're doing great!! Hugs!

Momma Hunt said...

COngrats on that milestone

Anonymous said...

I am so very happy for you. I relate to this post soooo much. At my weight 386lbs there have been times that I have fallen due to my hip being so bad or a mistep. Several times in the workplace which is why I am working from home on a medical accomdation at this time. I can't tell you how scarey it is to fall, but worse, not being able to lift myself up due to my size. Never in my life have I been so ashamed and full of panic. If there had not been people around me to help me up, I would have had to lay there until some poor soul found me and called 911. Can you imagine, having 4 grown big men having to lift you off the ground. MORTIFYING!!! And then having to face those people day in and day out at work. How lucky I was to have them there to help. But I have fallen other times where normal size people have tried to help me back up to no avail. I would ask them to please bring a chair close so I could use as leverage to haul my injured obese body up all while begging them to please pull me, pull me as hard as you can with all your might. What would I do in an emergency to save my own life? I can't WAIT until I am a normal size. I can't wait to feel what you feel. I am so proud of you Lyn. You give me such hope. I am presently just about 200lbs more than you. I can only imagine how free you feel. These are the things that "normal" sized folks take for granted. For me, when I get to goal, it will be the reminder of why I don't ever want to go back!

Linda
Lovetotest@aol.com

Thunder Thigh Bride said...

Isn't awesome when you discover something you can do? I was just discussing this with my fiance last night! I'm amazed how easy it is for me now to bend over at the waist to pick something up. I'm super happy for you!

Floriana said...

You give me hope. I have trouble getting on and off the floor. I can't wait till the day I'll be able to do it easily. By the way, I love your attitude!