Sunday, July 25, 2010

Little Update

I am feeling SO much better! It's amazing what just one on-plan day can do for my confidence and happiness level, not to mention how I feel physically. I had a great day, stayed on plan with my eating, drank lots of water, and took a 3/4 mile walk in the evening. I feel like my old (new, healthy) self again!

I realized that even now, I have those same tendencies to "start again tomorrow" and want to eat "one more thing" off plan. I used to do that day after day after day for months on end, getting fatter and fatter and never getting around to really starting "tomorrow." Or I'd eat a healthy breakfast and then flip out by lunchtime with the Coke and pizza. But hey, there is always something you want to eat. There's always one more 'last meal' you wish you could have, one more binge, one more chunk of cheesecake before you get all strict on yourself. I still have those thoughts, but at least now I understand it is just silly, and it is no longer a big battle to say, "nah, I don't need to do that, it'll make me feel sick/tired/depressed." It's still a thought, and a minor struggle, but not a major one. It used to take me days and days to feel *stable*, like I could trust myself not to binge or go off plan, but now it's more like a half day. If I make it through a half day, I am pretty much fine and back to business with the weight loss. That's a big mental change. It's taken almost 3 years to get there.

So I am good, I will be fine, no worries... I like what I am doing and it doesn't feel like deprivation (usually) and I am happy. Looking forward to getting skinnier this week!


Crys said...

I wasn't worried!:-)

Miz said...

xo xo


Lanie Painie said...

Isn't it great to feel like you're in control again, instead of that nagging little voice in your head? who is that guy anyway? He's a pain.

Shane G. said...

Lyn, I am certain that your experience over the last few days will be used for my inevitable meltdown somewhere along the way. Thanks so much for sharing it in its raw and honest fullness. I am only a week in, but each day I deal with at least a quick nagging urge to get something I don't need to eat, I just would have had it at this time before. Habit, self destructive behavior, whatever it was it was ingrained and it will take along time to overcome.

401sue said...

OK, so the 3 years it has taken you to figure this out.....has helped me more than you will ever know. We are the same person emotionally, and physically,(that's a good thing, i'm a great person :))
I can't believe some of the things you write are parallel to my life.
Glad you see you back on track, I missed you.

Laryssa said...

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better and that you're back on track with your eating.

Those darned carbs are so terrible. I have had a hard time getting back on track with my low carb meals as well.

Thanks for your encouraging words. They help us as much as they help you heal. :)

Theresa said...

atta girl! :D Here's to a wonderful week.

Happy Fun Pants said...

Wow. There is a lot of truth in this - one that I never really thought about.

When you're wanting to decrease your consumption (either by types of foods you eat or just less of everything), you'll never really fill like you got everything you wanted.

You will always want one last treat, meal, binge, whatever where you don't have to count.

You do get do-overs, but you don't get rid of that desire.

VERY interesting.

Glad to hear you're back on plan, but I'm like many others - I wasn't worried. You don't do what you did without having the intestinal fortitude to pick yourself up after trips.

You are inspirational. Just thought you should know that. :)

Tammy said...

This is the level that I want to get to...working on it. Thanks for talking about it Lyn. :)

Holly said...

I am in the exact same moment right now, making these realizations. I had a rough and pointless day yesterday but am doing good today. Usually after a day like that I take a week off. Not this time. Working on it right?

Michelle said...

I'm so glad to hear you're doing better. I've been meaning to tell you about my new favorite 100 calorie snack -- cocoa roasted almonds from Emerald. They are so tasty and a nice change from hard-boiled eggs. :) Here's to a good week!

Sarah S said...

one thing that has always helped me is never go off plan for anything less then a "10"

Sure you could eat that store bought cookie, but you never know when there is creme brulee around the next corner,

So hang on for that Perfect 10 Creme Brulee (or any thing else you prefer)!! it makes it so much easier to pass on the other items!

Floriana said...

Good to see you back in control. Keeping my fingers crossed for a big loss for you this week. :)

Michele said...

It is never a straight or linear road to regain better health. Thanks so much for sharing your hairpin loops and swerves with all of us. We all gain inspiration from your words as we work toward better health. It is encouraging to know that you made the choices you did and overcame the binging moment. Bravo! Michele