Saturday, July 17, 2010

Just Thinking

Yesterday we went out for my birthday dinner to my FAVORITE restaurant! I was so excited! They are kind of pricey but they are so good about making custom orders. I get fresh fish, ask for no rice and double the veggies, no oil or butter on the veggies, a side salad with dressing on the side. Every time I have gone it has been PERFECT and delicious and so satisfying.

But yesterday sucked. The waitress screwed up my order in every possible way. The appetizer, which was supposed to be plain seared ahi, came in a sugary, buttery sauce. The salad came tossed with loads of dressing (I did send that back, and she brought me a new one with dressing on the side). The fish I ordered poached in white wine with dill came BREADED and FRIED, sitting on a bed of rice which I had asked to be left off, with one side of green beans drenched in butter instead of the steamed double vegs. However, a busboy brought the dish and ran off before I could even open my mouth, so I waited, and waited, and waited for the waitress, contemplated eating it, waited some more. She came back 15 minutes later and apologized but they were super busy, and it would be 20 more minutes if I wanted it done right, so I just told her to please bring the double steamed veggies and I would pick off the breading and eat the fish.

I sat there and picked off the breading, scraped the rice aside, and ate some super bland fish. Then the green beans came and I ate those. It had to be the most unfulfilling meal I have ever eaten in a restaurant. What a bummer. I did get a discount but that didn't make up for my meal being screwy! The best part of the night was watching my little girl eat a dish of chocolate mousse! She doesn't get many sweets so she was super excited and really loved it. So cute!

When I was at the restaurant something else interesting happened. They have sinks and mirrors inside each bathroom stall, so I was standing there waiting for my daughter to finish with the potty when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was standing with my arms crossed. What I noticed made me cringe: my forearms, when folded, flatten out and look like they have pancakes hanging off them. I guess it is hanging skin that used to be filled with fat; I did notice earlier this week that my forearms were getting skinny. But geez, what an unflattering look. I swear I hardly recognise my body parts these days. I felt pretty self conscious when I saw this, and now I am being careful not to stand with my arms folded because it looks kind of gross. I even took a picture of it in the mirror at home, mainly because I am hoping and praying that it will somehow firm up and look better as I lose weight, and then I can post some before and afters to give other people hope. But yeah, this losing weight thing is a huge step into unfamiliar territory sometimes. My body doesn't always feel like my own. However, this is better than the alternative, and I wouldn't trade the weird hanging arm stuff for morbid obesity and plump, smooth arms.

Feeling great and looking forward to a weigh-in tomorrow!

16 comments:

Lanie Painie said...

aw, man! the forearms too!?!?!?!

Well, I am and am not looking forward to seeing that on my own freckled body.

It's so much fun seeing positive changes and knowing that "i did that!" but looking like a flying squirrel is not exactly on my bucket list.

Lisa said...

Thanks for talking about this. I don't want any saggy skin either, but I'll gladly take it over a big fat arm any day. There are always sleeves and pants. Unless you are very young and resiliant, I don't think it's possible to stretch your skin to obesity and then hope it will be completely smooth and tight when you are close to a normal weight. Certainly not my boobs anyway LOL.

spunkysuzi said...

I hate when i eat out and they prepare the food the way i asked for it!
After 2 sections and weight gain my stomach looks like a giant bowl of jello. Oh well gives me something else to work on :)

Sheryl said...

I am proud of you - you made the best of what you could out of that meal. I am trying to teach myself to "eat to live" not "live to eat".

Sarah (Fat Little Legs) said...

You know I have those exact same type of moments where parts of me seem to look horrible "not fat". Sometimes it makes me really sad, but like you said, I wouldn't trade it for the alternative either.

elisaannh said...

I am dealing with the same thing. I was painting yesterday and all of a sudden felt my upper arm flesh swing! Now I know why they call it batwings. I was mortified and glad no one saw it. I feel the same though, it is a small price to pay to get the weight off and feel so much better.

Angela said...

I would definitely NOT have paid for the meal and I think its cheesy that they didn't offer.

I admire your persistence, perseverance and determination in achieving your goals.

Floriana said...

Happy birthday! Ugh, the ugly sagging skin. Shudder. I sympathize. Still, better that than fat filled smooth skin.

Linda said...

Happy Birthday! I think I would have asked to speak to the manager, especially if you had been there before and had good service/food. They should have at the very least not charged you for your entree!

Joy said...

"Happy Birthday to You...."

I'm with you on the body changes. What's strange is one day I look at myself and think I look pretty good. Then next the next day I see that fat person again. How does that happen?

Leslie said...

Happy birthday, and good job making the best of a disappointing situation. You're a great cook, so I suspect you'll be able to make a fabulous birthday meal at home that is just to your specifications! And get the kids to clean up! Ha! If my kids cleaned up (which they often do) I'm never satisfied with the job they do, but I'm always greatful they are willing!

The lose skin represents battle scars from the "war" we've endured, I've come to believe. I'd rather not have it, but sould also rather not have the skin re-filled with bloated fat cells!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Lyn! Start lifting weights, I had the same "batwings" you did in your photo, and I'm telling you, building up my biceps and triceps (especially) has made the world of difference! Yesterday for the first time in at least 20 years I went outside in a sleeveless top. Try it, I guarantee it will help a lot. Congrats on your continued weight loss.

PaulaM

Lily Fluffbottom said...

Happy birthday to you! I'm sorry dinner didn't go as planned, but hey. You survived another year. :)

beerab said...

I'm telling you- walking with some 3 lb weights (if you can) totally helps! I lost an inch of my arms from February to July doing this! AN INCH- it's a HUGE difference when your arms go from 16" to 15" - I read average is 9 to 14 inches so I'm almost there!

beerab said...

OMG and how could I forget? HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL! And here's to many many more birthdays! :)

MB said...

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! Sorry your birthday meal was a bomb but at least you were in great company.