Thursday, May 13, 2010

Mistake #2

Today I spent over 5 hours in the car, driving my son to see a specialist in another city. It was a long day, leaving at 7:30AM and not getting home until after 6PM. I had a plan. I packed snacks and drinks for the 2 kids I brought with me and I packed 3 Medifast meals and a bottle of water for me. I knew we'd want to stop for lunch, too, so I decided we'd go someplace where I could have my healthy protein and veggie portions for the day (NO fast food. We don't do that anymore).

My son's favorite restaurant is a chain buffet... the kind where they have a million kinds of foods all spread out and you can eat as much as you want. I used to go to those places and go NUTS eating plate after plate of fried crap, but I knew that in OUR town I could usually find things like baked chicken and fresh vegetables on the buffet, so that would be fine.

Well, it started out okay. I had unsweetened iced tea to drink and built myself a nice big plate of salad: mixed greens, spinach, mushrooms, egg whites, broccoli, cauliflower, and a bit of blue cheese dressing. But when I went for my protein, there was NO baked chicken. Only sauce-covered barbecued chicken or FRIED chicken. I figured the BBQ sauce was full of sugar. I found some "baked" fish, which was submerged in butter, too. I took a small fillet (about 2.5 ounces) of the fish and wiped off the butter. I got a pile of steamed green beans. And I took a fried chicken breast, because I figured that would be okay once I took off the crispy fried skin.

When I sat down to eat, the food was mediocre. I ate the fish and green beans. I ate about half the salad, which was kind of flavorless (the dressing tasted watered down). I started eating the chicken, and then, I don't know what came over me but I WANTED THAT CHICKEN SKIN in the worst way! I JUST wanted a taste. So I took a taste. This was not a good idea.

I ended up eating ALL of that fried chicken skin and wishing I could eat ten more just like it. I started feeling like I really wanted to eat more stuff off the buffet. I went and got a diet Coke. My daughter had half a grilled cheese sandwich on her plate that she didn't want. Guess who started eating it??? Me. I was like... in some kind of carb frenzy. I mean, I felt pretty calm, but OH MY GOSH, the taste of that fried bread and cheese was like... some kind of manna from heaven. I ate that half sandwich, minus the crust.

I took my daughter up to the dessert buffet. There was the most diverse spread I have ever seen. When I saw it I knew I was going to eat something from there. I just KNEW. I was like, in PMS overdrive. I got her a small dish of ice cream and then I went back up there. What I ate actually FELT like a binge:
about 1/3 c soft serve ice cream
about 1 Tbsp hot fudge
one square inch of brownie
one square inch of lemon bar
one small cookie
one square inch of coconut pie

(typing it out I almost laughed. Do you remember what I USED to eat for a binge???)
Now, part of me wants to feel mad at myself and scared that I am going off on some tangent and will never lose the weight. Part of me wants to feel like I am some kind of out-of-control eater because I ate that stuff. And another part of me is going, HELLO. What self control! Wow, can you BELIEVE that is the extent of your "binge eating behavior" now? That is the WORST meal you have eaten in TWO AND A HALF MONTHS? You've come a long way, baby.

I am actually ok with it now. I felt icky afterwards and almost wanted to puke in the parking lot, but I never once thought, "I blew it, I may as well eat xyz now and start over again tomorrow." I just filled my water bottle, took my kids for a 30 minute walk at the park, came home, had a protein shake, and decided to bike for 30 minutes tonight. And nothing else has changed.

Now, this is not something I want to happen again, really... not while I am trying to lose weight, not on Medifast. It was decidedly off-plan. But I am also so super proud of myself and who I have become and how my life is now. I am really happy with that part. And now I know that while I can deal very well with a lot of food stimulation around me, it is NOT a good idea to be in the physical proximity of a huge variety of unhealthy, off plan, trigger-type foods. It's just too much stimulation and is hard to resist.

Lesson #2 learned: no more buffets.

31 comments:

Kyle Gershman said...

I think you've got the right mind about what happened. I had a few bad days while inlaws were visiting Moab and we stayed in a hotel to join them. I was okay for about 2 days, but the other 2 days looked pretty bad.

I know that my addictions are there, will always be there and there is a thin veil protecting me. The pizza buffet we ended up at was further proof that I can't be satisfied with the variety of tastes available at controlled portions. This is not a new revelation for me, just further proof.

Anyway, I was back on track the moment I got home and back in my routine.

I know what happened didn't define me or doom me...just a momentary departure, not an old destination.

Emma said...

Congratulations on a very well contained binge! I have the same thing happening in my life at the moment. When I think I've been "out of control" I list everything I eat and realise how far I've actually come. For the first time in my life I'm ok with how I'm going. I'm not "on plan" at the moment - I decided to take a break from really hard core eating and exercise and just try and maintain for a week as I'm going through an emotional patch. Even though I haven't been counting points I've been amazed at how naturally eating small portions and avoiding binge eating has been! If i over eat I can usually stop myself before it getsout of control and then start listening to my body. It's fantastic - and your blog has been a real inspiration!

RedPanda said...

Yeah - all things considered, you didn't do too badly at all. Besides, most of us tend to eat more than we planned at a buffet.

The important thing is that you put it behind you and moved on.

Georgia said...

We all have those days. Throw kids into the mix, and you know something's going to go "off plan!"

As a sucker for crispy chicken skin, I would have been craving the same!

But, hey, lesson learned. Right? :)

Just keep remmebering how far you've come!

Anonymous said...

For a *normal* eater, you were decidedly picky. For a former binge eater, you behaved phenomenolly. With that many carbs, I would be in trouble with hunger. I'm glad it didn't trigger anything more significant than a mistake.

He Took MY Last Name said...

wow.. Get back on track soon! I know it was a small mistake, and you should be proud that you didnt go hog wild, but take it from me... if you dont check this behavior now, it will get worse. and worse. i gained 6 of my hard earned 17.5 lbs lost.

dont go my path. get back on medifast. you are craving carbs because you ate them, you will have to cleanse your body again.

Rebekah said...

Lesson learned. Great attitude! Hope that if this sent you out of ketosis, getting back in goes fast.

Great attitude. Look where you slipped not where you fell!
Get back OP and you can continue on this journey Lyn!!

Ice Queen said...

Excellent. :D Yes, you slipped of the rails a little, but you didn't let it totally destroy you, you controlled portions and you got right back on track. I doubt any lasting harm was done and you have learned another valuable lesson that will benefit you going forward. :D

✯FiTCETERA✯ said...

I don't think I could handle myself at a buffet right now. Too much visual and olfactory excitement that gets my mouth watering.

I like Kyle's last sentence.

You're where you were the last time, Lyn. Are you afraid?

Lyn said...

fitcetera :)~

You know, it's funny. I actually have a HUGE sense of peace and relief about this. I had such a nice evening... went for a walk in the cool air, visited with a friend, came home and biked 30 minutes, and took a nice, long bath. In fact, I feel more stable than I have in ages. Emotionally stable, that is. I still have the little nagging thoughts of failure, but they are fairly easy to quiet now. I think I am going to be okay! For real!

Lindsay said...

It sounds like you learned a lesson! At least you took something positive and can learn from it :)

Damjana said...

It's dangerous that such behaviour becomes a habit.
Good luck with the weekend&stick to your own plan.

Anonymous said...

I have come to loathe buffets. I always felt that I had to sample everything because it was there, and then there was the need to feel like I was getting a bargain by eating a LOT for whatever was the final price of the meal. I much rather go to a fancy restaurant, pay the same price and receive a portioned plate of food that could conceivably be 1/2 of what I would consume at a buffet. good for your for getting back on rrack with the very next meal - not always an easy thing.

Lisa said...

I am so proud of you!

There are going to be times in life when you do go off path. That is just human nature and nobody can be perfect all the time. The key is exactly what you are doing, not letting it get you down and jumping right back up on the wagon.

I just wrote a post about the same kind of thing but with exercise and not food. Just getting off routine would throw me for a loop in the past and I would just give up and forget it. But not anymore and it is such a relief to know that no matter what you are not going to sabotage yourself and that if you mess up it is not the end of the world.

Congrats and keep it up!

www.fightingtobehealthy.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I worried about what might happen if you ever strayed from the straight and narrow path. Your response and your thinking are so great, and such an inspiration! Congratulations on this, even more than your wonderful loss!

Marie

phelpsvj said...

I dont know the ages of your children, but have they noticed your new medifast eating habits? and did they notice when you ate more than you wanted at the buffet? could they help you in this situation next time? I dont have children myself, but was just curious.

Has any of your new food changes affected them and how they make their choices? other than not having fastfood anymore, do they know why they arnt having it? do they get it?

Laryssa said...

I'm proud of you. You ate off plan, got your mindset back in place, did some exercises, and realized where your weaknesses are. The best thing is that you dusted yourself off and got right back on that horse. You didn't beat yourself up about it or decide to give up because of one misstep. Kudos!!!!

How weight became an issue. said...

I respect that you could do that well at a buffet. I struggle when I break routine and would have had a big pile of meat on my plate had I been in the same situation.

Laurie (GastricGirl.com) said...

Way to go on not adopting the old mindset of "I'll get back on plan tomorrow". That's a HUGE accomplishment!!

xoxo

Sandra said...

Yes baby you have come a long way - it's about the journey and what we learn.

You are learning!

I think that is a HUGE accomplishment. It is what is going to make this work for you this time and keeping it off in the future.

Lyn said...

phelpsvj~

My kiddos include a 4-year-old and four teenagers. They noticed a long time ago that I stopped buying junk, and they know I am using Medifast products now. They know that mommy has been eating healthier and we did discuss the why's of fast food. My teens, of course, can still go out on their own and have fast food if they wish (with their own money) but my little girl, after months of no fast food DID have a happy meal once and got sick from it. So SHE does not want anything to do with fast food anymore because she knows it is not good for her body.

We talk a lot about nutrition and exercise, drinking water, eating vegs etc. The teen boys were raised on quite a bit of junk pre-2007 so they still LIKE junk and choose it sometimes but overall their diet is much improved, and they do get it. The little one amazes her friends by how she handles sweets she is given (maybe trying one bite but not eating the rest, or saving the whole treat for some other time while the other kids are wolfing theirs down). She is choosing much better than any other 4 year old I know! I am super proud of how I am raising her :)

As for the buffet, my kids actually noticed how much LESS I ate than I ever have at a buffet before. When I mentioned my belly hurting my son remembered when I used to eat far more... five times more... at the buffets. And we talked about the changes. And he for sure knows that the way I was eating before was WHY he had a nearly immoble, size 26W mom back then. It's all good lessons.

Debbie said...

I think you did great. You handled the situation and went on to walk. Good for you..

Anonymous said...

I'm trying to figure out the thinking; you didn't have the chicken cause it had bbq sauce on it, which was probably not that much sugar, but then had bites out of four desserts? I'm not pointing the finger, cause that sounds like the kind of flawed reasoning I would do myself when I go off the rails. This really is a lifelong problem we have, we may lose the weight and think we are "cured" but I can see it's going to be like being an alcoholic. Glad you're back on plan today.

PaulaM

Lyn said...

Anonymous (PaulaM)~

I did not choose the chicken AND the desserts at the same time. It was a gradual "breakdown" from plan A to losing control somewhat.

i.e.
Choosing the fried chicken over the BBQ chicken WOULD HAVE been the right choice for my plan because I am trying to avoid ALL sugar. If I hadn't eaten the fried chicken skin, I probably would not have 'lost it' and had dessert, too. And the chicken, without the skin, would have been on plan.

Make sense? The desserts were absolutely OFF plan and not something I was trying to justify in any way whatsoever. I pretty much went from "on plan" to "I really want that chicken skin" and eating it to "omg, DESSERTS!" in three completely separate mindsets.

spunkysuzi said...

I swear sometimes buffets are there to torture us!
I'm so proud that you managed the buffet the way you did. You have proved that you can indulge a little and still be on a straight course to health. It must feel very empowering to be back in control!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah like an alcoholic doesnt need to be hanging around in bars.

mommygonemilf said...

I think you did a great job and you were mindful the whole time so you didn't end up on the slippery slope. I also think it's great that your kids are learning through observation because you are setting a good example and you don't make them responsible for your actions.

I cannot go to buffets. I look at it this way - would I take an alcoholic in recovery to a bar and expect them not to drink??? No, it would be torture.

amoslionhorse said...

wow you did really well. i binged the other night too..but it was on protein and pickles. not so bad..but it was definitely not in my plan for the day.

i love the way you handled it! you are truly inspiring.

Amy said...

Hi, I think it's my first time to leave you a comment.I enjoyed reading your blog. I'm working on losing my weight and had lost 13.4lbs so far. I have my blog. Your not only one who have over eat.. I did last Thursday, My hubby and I went to subway, I ordered one footlong, bec I thought for lunch I can have 6 inch then another 6 inch for dinner but at lunch I ended up ate two! then my hubby didn't want whole of footlong, he saved the 6 inch sub, I ate that one for dinner! too much! I regretted about this.. so I knew gotta to get back on track, start over again, and move on. So Don't worry, you will do fine, always can start all over again.

Karen said...

Way to go, Lyn...you have your head on straight for sure!!! I hope some day I can get to the place where I will STOP EATING when faced with so much temptation. You did GREAT!!!!

Anonymous said...

While it's nice that you considered your son's likes (buffet)for a restaurant choice, he should understand that a buffet situation would be dangerous for you. (And if you paid, he shouldn't complain!) I go to Golden Corral every four years or so. The display of gluttony is disgusting. And I find it very hard to restrain myself when around all that food (especially things I don't make).