Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Close to the Line...

This morning, after 2 evenings in a row of riding my recumbent bike, the scale says 210. Two ten! It's almost like a dream. I have battled this weight for SO LONG. Not just on this blog, but *before* I discovered blogging, I was trying (on and off, between month-long binges) to lose the weight. I wasn't comfortable being so fat. I'd grown up thin, for the most part, and was a curvy 140 when I met my first husband back in 1989. I didn't watch what I ate, but rarely exercised; I ate potato chips and pizza but I *never* binged, and I led a fairly active lifestyle just running around like teens do. After I had my first son, the weight just *fell* off. I didn't diet or exercise or anything, and within weeks my body was right back to 140 and fitting in my old clothes. I thought nothing of it.

After I lost my second baby I put on a good ten pounds (partly pregnancy weight and partly grief weight) and my father-in-law called me a fatass. (If only he could have seen me after gaining another 130 pounds... but he died and missed out). I felt a little overweight but my focus was on a) my son and b) getting pregnant again, not on dieting.

Although I did gain more weight, eventually, and try to diet my way back to 140 pounds, I didn't get REALLY fat until  after my fourth child was born. It was 1997 when I made my New Year's Resolution to go from 187 pounds (oh the horror) back down to 140. Instead, that was the year I went over 210 for the first time, and never got back down below it again. For ten whole years I went up and down the scale between 230 and 280. Ten years! Gosh, it just brings me to tears for that sad, pained, lonely single Mom. I went through poverty, I worked, I went back to college. I ate a lot of donuts from the food bank. I did Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Master Cleanse, etc, etc.

And now after two and a half years of relentless effort to get a grip on my life (and my eating), I feel sane and more in control than I have in years, and I am right on the cusp of getting back to where I was, weight-wise, over 13 years ago.

I am SO EXCITED to weigh 210 pounds!

When I was 9 months pregnant with my first child, I weighed 170 pounds.
When I was 9 months pregnant with my second child, I weighed 188 pounds.
When I was 9 months pregnant with my third child, I weighed 190 pounds.
When I was 9 months pregnant with my fourth child, I weighed 196 pounds.
Yet I am thrilled to weigh 210 pounds now, more than I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant with big ol' nearly 9 pound babies in my 20's.

It's a relief to finally be seeing the "finish line." I do see 199 as some kind of magic threshold to cross, even though I know it's just another number on my way to my goal of a normal BMI and a strong healthy body. I have eyeballed that 199 line for so long and I guess I started to believe it was beyond my reach. But it's not. It's right there and if I keep on running (or even walking) towards it I am going to step right over that line... and keep on going. I think this must be how a marathoner or triathlete must feel after a grueling race, when they finally *see* the finish line. Such relief, such exhilaration! And yet my race is far from over. I don't care... I just can't wait to see a 1 in front of my number again. Finally.

I'll keep on biking and lifting weights and working my plan. I'll keep fixing healthy dinners and buying lots of fresh veggies and finding new ways to prep them. I'll keep working out my issues and jumping the blocks that are in my path as I reach them. I AM going to make it. All of us can.

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just adore your blog, i read it everyday. I have no doubt that a book deal is in your near future.

Laura said...

You really are so amazing! Your blog is what really got me started losing weight, but hearing about your life just makes what you're doing more incredible. I haven't gone through what you have, but if you can do it, I can too!

I love the feeling of knowing I can do this!

Harry said...

Congrats Lyn :)

Shelley said...

You are doing so good! Keep doing what you are doing, because it's working, my friend!

Rebekah said...

You are doing SO well Lyn! You ROCK! Keep on fighting the good fight, because you DESERVE IT!!!!

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

How wonderful, Lyn! That is exciting news indeed!

I really need a friend of mine to read your blog...she's in the 280 range and keeps saying she'll get around to it "someday". I just want her to read your story of determination and hope.

I want her to read your words of "I can make it, and so can you".

I am so happy for you. You are getting your life back! Woo hoo!

Lynn said...

You are doing really great!!

I'm still working to lose my weight.. I'm not gaining nor am I losing yet.. Hopefully I will start to see pounds lost soon!

I love reading your blog, as you are such a wonderful inspiration to me!

Blessings,
~Lynn

Melissa said...

You are SO inspiring! Thank you so much for continuing your weightloss efforts & for continuing your blog even when it was hard! I have been at it for almost a year & i have only lost 17 pounds (probably 20 but it's that TOM)! Sometimes i want to say "seriously, melissa? only 20 in a YEAR!?" but then i realized that in the first 6 months of marriage i GAINED 20 pounds. And that in the last year i have TOTALLY changed my lifestyle. I started out walking just 1/2 a mile, then 1 mile & now i'm up to 2! (but did a 5k last week!). Thank you for not giving up. :)

Helen said...

So happy for you!

Jac said...

My weight-loss struggle isn't quite like yours, but I can't tell you how much you inspire me! I fell in love with your blog a couple of months ago, and it has been a constant source of encouragement for me. Yes, you're a busy mom. But you are making yourself and your health a priority - and that's exactly what I need to do, too! Thanks for sharing your story with the world. :)

that TOPS lady said...

yay! so great! 199 is just around the corner!

georgia said...

Lyn! Love the post! I too have 4 kiddos...I may copy you one day and list my weights with them! :)
I get the "magic" of a number! Right now, my magic is to see a "3" in that 2nd # slot!
I'm doing a happy dance with you! 210 is awesome! (big huge smiles being sent your way!)

nelson_clan said...

You encourage me! I read your blog every day and it keeps me on track and gives me determination. Your my weight loss get control of your life hero!

Megan said...

You have been relentless. You are reaping the rewards. You are so inspiring!

Lissa said...

Congratulations, Lyn! A great milepost on your continuing journey!!

Andra said...

Awesome milestone! It's such a wonderful feeling, good for you.

E said...

Congrats on your new figure. I've been reading your blog for a while now and I'm so inspired by you. Keep going!

Kyle Gershman said...

It is so fabulous to hear of your continued great progress...I am so happy for you.

Leslie said...

Aw-aw-aw-aw-awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!! So happy for you, Lyn!

Lyn said...

georgia~

I actually have FIVE kiddos, but that last one, I weighed about 270 when I had her! Yikes.

Anonymous said...

Ah, the good old recumbent bike! I have one too, and love it. Very easy on the joints.

Now...

210

210

210

210

210

Doesn't it have a lovely ring to it? That is just so amazing!!! I'm really happy for you.

Teale said...

Wow! Just 10 pounds from the 100s is amazing. You're doing a wonderful job, and with perseverence, you will absolutely cross that mark!

~lose2live~ said...

congratulations on the milestone.. doesn't it feel great? :)

Well done...

Anne

Lori said...

Great job. Posts like this one give me the strength to go on.
Lori
http://deepdarkweightloss.blogspot.com/

Lindsay said...

CONGRATS!!!! you are doing so well! Keep it up :)

Physicallee Fit said...

Let's some some pictures!!!

And outstanding on 210! That really is spectacular!

The Chubby Girl Diaries said...

YAY Lyn!! I am SO freakin' happy for you girl! After subsequent pregnancies I totally *get* where you are coming from as I have been there too.

YOU are doing it and you are fabulous! Congratulations! :)

~Kellie

Renee said...

Ohhh right ... 2 more lbs and we get new pics, right??

Great job, Lyn!!

Renee
PR Coordinator
Medifast, Inc.

Anonymous said...

A victory is a victory! Congrats on the weight and for finding the strength to get back on the bike!

Question: how long do you plan to be on Medifast? Do you ever get sick of it, and are you worried that the deprivation of foods will lead you to a binge cycle after you're off?

Moving Mertle said...

OOOH the old highest weight!! In high school my highest was 208 and then I lost it through sports and dieting. then my final year in college I ballooned to 240 and haven't fallen even below 210! I cannot wait until the scale says 208 again. I can only imagine your excitement! CONGRATS! you're a motivation to me!

✯FiTCETERA✯ said...

Lyn, I've watched you for over 2 years now (can you believe that?) and you have NO IDEA how VERY PROUD and ECSTATIC I am for you!!!

You've always gotten back up and dusted yourself off and you NEVER GAVE UP and now look how it's paying off.

Save a spot for me when you hit Onederland, ok?

Diana said...

It's so exciting to watch your progress!

Lyn said...

Anonymous~

I plan to reevaluate whether to continue Medifast each month. As long as it is working for me, I will keep doing it. If or when it becomes boring, burdensome, or ineffective, I will switch back to whole foods but stay low carb.

I am not bored with it yet... there's over 50 different foods on Medifast plus an endless variety for dinner, since I make that myself. I don't feel deprived often, in fact, I felt a lot more deprived when I was binge eating and never satisfied.

I have never gone nearly this long without a binge, so that's saying something. I do think staying at this level of carbs will benefit me for the rest of my life.

Margie M. said...

Totally awesome is what this is for you! WooHoo....I know that very soon you will see under 200 on that scale!! You are doing fantastic.

Margie M. writes at:
www.myhealthylivingthruweightcontrol.blogspot.com

Beetnik Mama said...

What an amazing feeling this must be! Good for you!

I can't wait for you (and me!) to get that 1xx finally. Keep it up -- I know you'll be there soon!

Anonymous said...

YOU ROCK! 210 is awesome. I know what you mean about 199. I am also anxious to reach that number. I started at 244 and am at 229.6 as of this week. It's coming off quickly as I am breastfeeding. Yay for 300 calories gone with no effort on my part! Question about the transition away from Medifast (it has to happen someday, right?) How can one transition from a plan that has 850-1000 calories into "real life?" That's why I'm leery of diets. For it to really work, it has to be a forever life-change, right? Is there some planned transition from Medifast or not....? Just wondering how it goes from here.

Greta from www.bigbottomblogger.blogspot.com said...

I'm very excited for you to be headed back to onderland. Ride that bike right through that threshhold and beyond, Lyn! You deserve fitness and health and wellness! Great job!

Lyn said...

Anonymous~

Medifast has a transition plan, taking several weeks to gradually add back in more foods such as fruits and dairy and increase the calories to a maintenance level. I believe it is detailed on the Medifast website. I've 'met' many people on the Medifast support boards who have been successful in losing the weight, transitioning, and keeping it off. I think it's a doable transition, and I will go through that part of the plan regardless of when I decide to stop using Medifast. Going "cold turkey" back into some random menu plan would probably result in difficulty.

Joy said...

You're doing great ~ keep up the great work. You are an inspiration!

tabby said...

Congratulations :) Never give up. That is what I am telling myself every day.

I was 250lbs when I was pregnant with my 4th baby. After an emergency c section and complications, I found myself so weak during that first year after the surgery I stopped exercising. I gained 30lbs, got depressed, and gave up after that for years and ate my way up to 314. Today I am 301 lbs.

You have really inspired me!

MB said...

It's so nice to see those numbers we haven't seen in years. I'm 16 pounds from that 199 so I'll be chasing you and will try to keep up so you don't leave me in the dust.

Congrats! Keep up the good work.

FrogiNater said...

That is so awesome-- what a great thing for you. I've lost 3 babies & we've been trying for 6 years to have another one... such a mind game and so heart wrenching...

LovelyMarie said...

YAY!!! Congrats! Your 199 will come by soon enough.

Your an inspiration!!

Ex Fat Girl said...

This is an excellent post! Just love your determination....Keep at it!!!! Woot Woot!

amoslionhorse said...

Hi, I've just recently found you.. and you grabbed me with this post. I look forward to joining you on your journey. I have a ways to go to get to 210 myself (I'm at 292 last WI) but you give me a LOT of hope. Thanks for talking about it!

Katie J said...

You are proof positive that if you put in the effort it can be done. Grats on being so close and looking forward to seeing you walk OVER that threshold and into Onderland!

Thanks for the reminder that WE can do this!

Sarah1974 said...

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Erin said...

If only there were a way for you to hear my applause!!

Way to go!!!

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