Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Shopping Trip, and Dinner Out

Yesterday after I wrote about the clothing issue, I went shopping. The goal was *just* to get a pair of capri jeans that fit well, because I only have two pair now (in 18's) and they sag and drag. It's getting hot and I don't like wearing long jeans when it is 80 degrees, but I am no way, no how wearing SHORT shorts because honestly, my thighs and knee area is atrocious (I really should post a picture... you wouldn't believe it!) They are so big and chubby looking compared to my nice hourglass waist that I look out of proportion, so I prefer capris for now. Besides, even when I was a teen and not really overweight at all, kids made fun of my "thunder thighs" when I wore shorts, and I was kind of traumatized when I compared my untoned, slightly large, very white dimply jiggly thighs to the tanned, toned thighs of the girls who played field hockey. But anyway...

I took about ten pairs of capri jeans in size 16 into the dressing room at Kohl's. There was a three-panel mirror, so I got a good look at myself as I pulled on pair after pair of 16's. I was kind of surprised that none of them really fit me right. I could get most of them up and on but not buttoned. The ones I could button were mostly too tight and sat at an uncomfortable spot on my waist (too high). And the one pair of Lee's that went on and fit like a glove (and I was thinking "this is the pair!") had a disturbing camel toe effect at the crotch that was just not fixable, so off they went into the discard pile.

In the end, I was standing there in my underwear in the three-way mirror with a pile of capris at my feet, none of which fit. I actually smiled at myself in the mirror and thought, "well, I guess I am between sizes! It's ok, I will get by on what I have, and I am not going to stay this size for long. I'll try again in 5 or 10 more pounds." And then I happily grabbed the three one-piece swimsuits I'd brought into the dressing room, and tried those on as well.

#1... Yikes. I look way worse than I thought.
#2... Wait, what happened to my boobs and my hourglass shape? I look like a barrel in a brightly-colored sausage casing!
#3... I smiled and nodded. This one looks great! Wow! Who knew the huge difference the right cut of suit made for your body? It's beautiful, it "suits" me (lol) and it fits... at a size 16. Now I am all set for summer!

Walking past the clearance rack on the way out, I noticed something. Remember that black and olive green sweater I wrote about yesterday? Well, there, on the clearance rack, was a very similar sweater in a very similar olive green (no black). I reached out and touched it: so soft. So comforting. I held it up. I smiled. I bought it in a size Medium, so that this fall when I want to wear something warm and familiar, it will be there folded in my drawer waiting for me.

It was a great, successful shopping trip and I came home very happy.

One more thing I want to share. The other day my husband invited me out to dinner at my very favorite restaurant. I told him I had to think about it and to give me ten minutes. I composed myself, felt my feelings, and decided that it would be fine to go to dinner.

I stayed completely on plan. Everything on the appetizer menu was carb-laden, fried, or buttered. So even though it wasn't on the menu, I asked if they had any ahi tuna they could sear as an appetizer for us (I had seen ahi on the dinner menu). They were very accommodating and I enjoyed a few bites of delicious ahi while leaving the bread basket alone. My drink was a lovely, unsweetened Tahitian iced tea with fresh lemon slices. For dinner I ordered one of my favorite things: fresh fish! I had chargrilled halibut which was supposed to come with a sweetened sauce and citrus butter, a rice dish, and asparagus. However, I asked them to leave off the sauce (I did use some of the citrus butter, which is fine since the fish is quite lean) and asked for extra asparagus and no rice. I also ordered a mixed green salad with blue cheese dressing on the side. It was fantastic!

At the end of dinner, the waiter came out and said desserts were on the house. Well. This was a very nice restaurant with the fancy kinds of amazing desserts you could imagine. I know, because I have gone there and eaten them before. But I just smiled and said, "no thank you" as I got up to leave. I didn't care about dessert. I was absolutely content with the meal I had eaten.

So yes, things have changed... I have changed. Changed my mind along with my body this time, and it makes all the difference.

36 comments:

Leslie said...

You are kicking A$$ in all areas, Lyn! Hell, I can't buy a 16 bathing suit! But what a great attitude, not getting discouraged to be between sizes. Trying on clothes can really be nightmarish if one isn't in the right frame of mind. Good for you for being positive and optimistic. With how well you're doing, there is no reason not to be!

Larkspur said...

Sounds like a lovely meal. I too was recently in the dressing room at Kohl's (and then Boscov's) trying on 19,000 pairs of capris. I found a pair of "curvy fit" that fit basically right and (as always seems to be true of capris) I got them home and they are baggy. Why are capris so hard to fit? Gratz on the nice medium sweater!

I find it hard to part with clothes too. I didn't have great stuff as a kid/young woman-- couldn't afford it. I have nicer things now and there is a slight sucking vacuum noise as I part with them :)

happyfunpants said...

I couldn't be happier for you - both at your resiliency to see that different cuts make a difference AND for your new olive sweater that will help you feel as loved as you are.

Way to go...on everything.

I'm so proud of you, I could burst! :)

Tammy said...

So glad to hear you had a happy shopping trip, and FANTASTIC job on dinner out at your favorite restaurant!!! Excellent choices...signs of a true lifestyle change. You're finally there, girl. It's been a long haul, but you made it, and I'm so proud of you. :)

She woke up FAT said...

You are so on a roll! Good for you for asking for what you want. I'm so proud of you.

Fiona said...

I agree with all the above comments, well done but I am alittle surprised that in the resturant where you were quite clearly trying (and succeeding) to be healthy they would offer free desserts? How odd. But fab that you stayed strong x

Shelley said...

Holy crap, I don't think I could have passed up a free dessert! GREAT JOB!!! Glad you found a bathing suit - that is an amazing feat in itself, no matter what size you are (or is that just my teenage angst talking?) - and the capris - hey, they are doing strange cuts on them. Weirdly, I got two pair of bermudas (fit like capris on this shorty) at Target that fit me better than anything else. You never know! Congrats on such a great day!!!

Blubeari said...

Wow! I can't wait until I am at the point when I wouldn't completely bail off plan if someone offered a free dessert. Well done :-D

Thrice Blessed said...

Wow! You did great! I absolutely hate trying on clothes, and right now I am wearing 22's that are too big, the next size I have in my closet is 18... I need some 20's, but I hate the thought of getting them when I hope to move into the 18s in a couple of weeks... so for now I'm wearing a belt, because the 22's can actually come off without unbuttoning them!

Stacie said...

congrats. you are doing awesome.

this time i am working on my mind and body. makes a huge difference.

Colleen said...

Hi Lynn,

Just so you don't feel bad about not fitting into the 16s - the difference between a regular 16 and a women's 18 is pretty big. That's because sizing in plus sizes is different, i.e. a Lane Bryant 14 is bigger and cut differently than a "regular" 14. So the fact that you are close to a 16 is a really big deal!

I was also surprised to learn that while there is about a 2" difference between sizes 12-16 there is only a 1" difference between sizes 0-10. My size fluctuates a lot more easily now that I'm smaller and the fit margin of my clothes is narrower.

Theresa said...

That supper sounds so great! I might have to cook one just like it tonight for myself!!! ;)
The fact that you didn't feel like you needed dessert was awesome!

Lori said...

Congratulations!! I don't think I would have had the courage to say 'no thanks' to a free dessert.

Lindsey said...

I just found your blog! I love reading about your journey as I am on the same one! I have about 90lbs to lose to get where I want to be. I started medifast 2 weeks ago and it is really working! FYI the plus size 16s at Target are fabulous! I have several of their capris and they fit better than anywhere else I have tried!

Debbie said...

You are doing great. Turning down a sweet treat is wonderful. Congrats on the sweater and the bathing suit.

Anonymous said...

It's like the universe was testing you and you got an A+!!!!

Julie said...

WOW!! You left dessert?? That was on the HOUSE??? Color me impressed. You HAVE changed!

Walk proud!

spunkysuzi said...

You are definitely on a roll :) What a great place to be!!

Stacie said...

That's awesome. Congratulations. You've clearly turned a new leaf.

Anonymous said...

This is so powerful!
Congratulations!

Marie

Deanna - The Unnatural Mother said...

Your last sentence says it all !!

tanya said...

I bought the Perfect Fit Buttons (as seen on TV) at Bed, Bath and Beyond for $10. I had bought a pair of jean capris last summer just before I reached my goal and they were a bit too big this year...I added a Perfect Fit Button and they don't fall down or have a gap in the back.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever considered making a pillow out of your mother's sweater?

You're changing shape, but not everything that you represent and believe in. The same can be true for your mother's sweater. Changing the shape doesn't change the softness, or that it was your mothers.

Seems like a better option than leaving it in the bottom of a box.

MargieAnne said...

I love this success story.

I love your writing.

I love that you can express how you feel. You have a great gift.

Cortney said...

I'm seriously 18,000 kinds of happy right now. I love reading your blog in general, but I have to say these past 3 months have been so inspirational and moving. You're amazing!

Ice Queen said...

You have changed, indeed. :D

I was all, "Awww!" when I read about the sweater. I hope that it brings you warmth and comfort and joy when you get to wear it in the Autumn.

Reese said...

I'm happy for you :) How exciting to find a bathing suit that you like! I cannot wait for that day! Thanks for the inspiration.

Michelle said...

I honestly hope to regain the enthusiasm you have for a healthy life style. You make me want to want to be better! Congrats on the bathing suite

Julie said...

WOW!

Fat Grump said...

Lyn, you really are on your way, aren't you? :)

Well done for not worrying about clothes that didn't look right, and good for you for refusing to eat anything which took you off your plan. There wasn't even a huge struggle in saying 'no' to more free food, was there?

You remain SO inspirational!

Lisa said...

Between sizes here too. I am between a 20 and an 18. It sucks because my 20 pants start to almost fall off but the 18s are just a little too tight for my liking.

Keep it up. You are doing awesome. I know exactly what you mean about finding the right bathing suit for you. It is going to be a big lost for me this summer because 4 years ago I found the perfect bathing suit at Dillard's and paid alot, like $80 for it. That was a HUGE splurge for me but I really wanted a suit that I could feel good in. Well this year it is going to be too big. I am already dreading having to buy a new one. Plus, with losing weight all the time I don't know what size to get. At least these are good problems to have, right?

http://fightingtobehealthy.blogspot.com/

beerab said...

I'm glad you had a wonderful day and everning- great job for staying on plan- it was nice of hubby to make a dinner night out for the two of you :)

Steelers6 said...

Lyn, thanks once again for posting and for allowing all the helpful comments. I know I really glean from your generous commenters in addition to your posts!

I recently bought a pair of capris at JCP that have a goofy high waist like you mention. I don't love that at all, but didn't want to be capri-less, so figured I would 'make do' until I find others, or am in the next size. I have this notion in my noodle that things will continue to fit better & better all the way down the scale, and esp at goal. Hope that isn't false..I think I see it to be the case already. And I also expect the choices to be more numerous.
I will check capris and shorts out at Target, as some of your lovely commenters have suggested.

Wanted to suggest to a recent commenter - Lisa - that swimsuits are reasonably priced @ Target. You might not even be in it very long this time, so you might not want to spend much. And a little tip, incase she didn't think of it...I've been buying numerous swim tops, and then just a plain bottom that goes with all the tops. Viola` it looks like you have more suits. And the tops are like $20. @ Target. But yes, if you prefer a quality, well made suit, then maybe it comes out about the same to have ONE well made one, and my several Target tops. But I am happy w/variety.

Wow, Lyn, you inspire! Passing on 2 of some of my most fave things in life, FREE & dessert! haha. Great job! What was the reason for the free dessert? They were so happy to see you were back to dine with them again? :) I have learned to pass on 'free' too; feels so odd. Even honing my no thank you skills @ Costco free samples, ya know? haha

I also feel more empowered to tweak menus a bit since watching The Biggest Loser and reading your post. It is alittle uncomfy to do when dining w/ppl other than my dh, but hey. So what.

What a sweet 'hug from above' to find a sweater like the one you have that belonged to your Mother. Aw.

Wishing you a happy, accomplished, motivated day, dahling. Chrissy

Lyn said...

Chrissy~

Thanks! I am going to try Target myself! I can't stay in droppy 18s forever. LOL.

The free dessert offer was because they made a mistake on my husband's order. It wasn't a big deal but they were just making sure we were happy I think.

As we were leaving they DID hand us a gift card for a free appetizer on our next visit since we turned down dessert! Worked out great.

screwdestiny said...

It is such a joy to read your blog every day and see new progress you have made. Especially about finding a bathing suit that you liked--that's hard for anybody!

Anjum said...

hi! I'm new to your blog but enjoy reading it. I just wanted to add that I've found that Kohl's usually has strange sizing that doesn't match up with other stores' sizing. Maybe try again at another store, after the next 5-10 pounds?