Monday, April 19, 2010

People Searching

People seem to find my blog in the most interesting ways. Some are searching for help, others for answer. Some, I have no idea what they were searching for, but they got here. Every so often I look through my blog stats to see the search terms that brought new readers to my blog.

You've got some silly ones:
how to dress up obese
can overeating give you a big gut?
moonpie heaven
obeast recipe
corduroy fat butt

The sexy ones:
lovely/fatties.com
30 pound boobs pics with shirts
obese butt pics

The ones wondering about stuff that I may (or may not) have written about:
what the heck is a leek?
has someone ever died from eating a hot dog?
is spinage dip bad for you?
can i accidentally squash my baby in my belly?
how much do leeks weigh?
WHAT WOULD A FAT PERSON EAT?
is mushy watermelon bad for you?

The ones asking questions:
is being thin really that great?
I have arthritis in my knees and back it hurts to walk and move, I need to get in shape how can I do it?
how much food do you eat on your binge?
how do I make myself look 40 pounds thinner in my photos?
do sausage rolls give you palpitations?
i starve myself all day then have ice cream for dinner will i gain weight?

And even some that give advice or insight:
You get to eat every day of your life, so you don't have to eat it all at once.
when i am happy , I feel full, and when I am bored , i feel hungry
i was fat because i was scared

Some that make me go, hmmm...:
my boyfriend made me fat
why women give up so easy when it comes to the issue of obesity
making dinner for an obese person
correlation between fat and stupid

There are some that I can really relate to:
whenever I get a box of chocolates I have to eat it all at once
how to keep pants from rubbing between the legs
overweight sit on floor get up legs hurt
overeat because tastes good
I ate a whole batch of cookie dough
obesity unable to tie shoes
syndrome where people eat everything
How to gain space between seat and steering wheel because of being over weight
Obesity break bed
thudding in chest
knees crackle because overweight
i gained a pound after eating cookie dough
help i feel like my stomach is a bottomless pit
heart arrythmias after eating fritos
obese sore knees exhausted
when getting up from chair, my legs are so heavy, hard to walk

And then there are the ones that bring me to tears, because of what the search implies about the person who is searching:
if your 14 years old and your 278 pounds is that obesity?
How to fill yourself up when you feel empty inside
obese and feeling hopeless
lose 30 lb or die
single overweight women who have a hard time finding men to date
squashing obese immobile disgusting
i eat to escape how to stop
i feel emotionally flat-lined
when will obese daughter realize she has to stop eating?
overeating myself into oblivion and obesity
my child is embarrassed by my weight
compulsion to eat everything so that it is gone
How love yourself despite the weight gain
i am eating myself to death
240 pounds how the hell did this happen to me?
can't escape fat hell
obesity wrecked my life

Sobering. While we can never know what *really* was behind those searches, when you think about it, we do know, in a way, what everyone on this kind of journey is searching for. Those search terms are so relatable *because* the feelings and thoughts are almost universal among those desperate to escape from obesity. It is painful and lonely and I remember all those times when I was morbidly obese, scouring the Internet with search terms like "how to lose weight fast," "stop eating so much," and "I am afraid I will die if I don't lose weight." There are thousands of people out there searching for the same thing. I count myself blessed that some of you who landed here by searching have stayed and found some sort of community... a sense of no longer being alone. Hope. Because now we know we are NOT alone. And yes, we can change our lives.

For me, the search is over. Oh, I will never be done learning and growing, but I no longer have that sense of desperation that I *MUST* find the Magic Bullet... that I am running out of time and need to figure this out NOW before I kill myself with my fat. I never did find a magic bullet. There is none. But I found ME. Maybe that is what we were all searching for, anyway.

16 comments:

Roni said...

This post made me smile for more then one reason. :)

Now... just so you know... I'm totally stealing this post idea! I can't wait to look at my search stats! ;)

My Lipstick Life said...

The "you get to eat everyday of your life so you don't have to eat it all at once" one killed me. So true I had to laugh. Why is this message so hard to put into practice, though?

Glad you found you and are help us to find ourselves too.

Ice Queen said...

I found you by clicking links on blogrolls. Liked what I saw and added you. :D

I need to find out how to check my search stats. Oooh! New fun to be had. :D

Krista said...

Hi Lyn!
How do you search your blog stats through blogger?
Thanks, Krista @ Krista's Kravings

Cake.. or Death? said...

Wow. This post is really poignant, it brings a lump to my throat. So many sad, unhappy people all reaching out for a solution. I am sure you have helped some of them out with the frankness of your journal, it's good to know you're not alone and I guess that's why we're all in this community.

Keep going, keep writing. I am following and supporting your mission :)

Cake.. or Death? said...

Wow. This post is really poignant, it brings a lump to my throat. So many sad, unhappy people all reaching out for a solution. I am sure you have helped some of them out with the frankness of your journal, it's good to know you're not alone and I guess that's why we're all in this community.

Keep going, keep writing. I am following and supporting your mission :)

Lyn said...

Krista,

You have to install one of the free stat trackers/counters out there in order to see search terms. Extreme Tracking is one I use.

Deanna - The Unnatural Mother said...

AAhh, what a great post, some of the searches are indeed entertaining, but the overall message is what brought me to tears - way to go PQ, glad you found yourself, and that you put yourself out there for your readers so we can find ourselves.

Deanna - The Unnatural Mother said...

Oops meant Lyn not PQ, got confused on my blog journey!!

Reese said...

Interesting! I have also searched for years for the magic bullet and never found it. I love that you have found you.
I am on my way to finding me!

Chance said...

Lyn, The photo is of my collie, but this isn't a joke. I just found you a couple of days ago when I was surfing for Medifast information. I started the program last month, March 23, and have had great results but wanted to find out more about it and any potential negative side affects. I'm 62 years old and want to reach my goal weight of 145 lbs. I've lost 15 lbs. in 4 weeks but still have 61 to go! It took me several years to put this weight on and I have to remind myself all the time that it will take a while to get it off... meanwhile, Medifast is working. I'm following your progress and am glad to get some creative ideas for preparing the meals! Thanks so much! ...Linda

Jer said...

These just made me sad. Some were funny but so much of it was something I could relate to. I hope they find the answers that they're looking for.

How do you find your search stats?

RedPanda said...

I never did find a magic bullet. There is none. But I found ME. Maybe that is what we were all searching for, anyway.

I love this.

Physicallee Fit said...

Your post made me stop and think about why I'm doing this. I don't know if I've found me yet, but I'm closer than I've been in a long time.

Thanks for writing so poignantly.

Nicole Long said...

This question made me very concerned: i starve myself all day then have ice cream for dinner will i gain weight?

The answer is of course!! 1. You're eating before you go to bed, that'll make you gain weight. 2. Ice cream has SO many calories, OMG, so by starving yourself the rest of the time, your body is going to hold on to what it can get. That's a classic survival instinct. So, by eating just ice cream, your body is holding on to that, so YES, you will gain weight and be unhappy because you're always hungry.

A solution is to just overall eat healthier and in moderation give in to temptation. Key word moderation.

Laura said...

This one made me feel sad. I can relate to so much here.

But to let you know, your blog was what gave me the final push to lose weight. I think it was that it was't falling off for you; it was time consuming, and I knew that what I was looking for and needed was a lifestyle change.

Thanks Lyn!