Thursday, April 1, 2010

April 1, 2010: 219 Pounds

No joke: I weigh 219 pounds! This is nothing short of amazing to me, as I began the month of March weighing 234 pounds. I lost 15 pounds in March, whizzing through the 220's to a weight I haven't seen since August 2008. I am thrilled. And if you look at my stats along the left side of my blog, you'll see that I have *never* lost this much weight in a month... not even when I started at 278 pounds and went from huge amounts of junk to a healthy, produce-based diet. And yet I feel I am losing weight at a good, moderate pace: 2-3 pounds per week (I did lose 6 pounds the first week, mainly due to a drastic cut in sugar and carbs). It did not take a ton of effort; I wasn't biking or lifting weights a lot or scrutinizing every calorie like I had been. What it did take was consistency: following the plan I have chosen 100%. No excuses, no "cheat meals," no "days off." I didn't look at the treats that passed by my face all month and drool and agonize and convince myself it would be okay to have just one little off-plan thing. I didn't look ahead to Easter and think, "oh, gee, a holiday. I can't possibly skip the Easter candy and the traditional ham and potatoes au gratin dinner with hot fresh rolls! I am not going to deprive myself of that!" No. It *did* take deprivation, in a sense: depriving myself of candy, of potato chips, of Little Debbie Cakes and all the other things that got me fat in the first place. And you know what? That kind of deprivation isn't a bad thing. Sometimes we just have to quit giving in to our appetite's every whim in order to get the results we want. This was IMPORTANT to me, so I wanted to do everything in my ability to succeed. I always have. Sometimes people might look at my blog, the confessions, the periods of eating crap in between weeks of eating well, and wonder why I wasn't giving it 100%. The answer is: I WAS. But my 100% was only about 80% of what I needed to be doing to get the weight OFF. I *was* giving my all. You might not believe this, but there were times when a binge was out of my control. I felt like a slave to my brain and body as I was driven to eat against my wishes. It sounds insane if you have never struggled with this type of problem, but the bottom line is, I needed help. I didn't know what kind of help I needed, but I think I got it. I think I got it in Medifast.

I'm not saying this diet is anything magical; it is NOT. It is JUST FOOD. Packets of food. But by taking the thinking out of most of my meals... by taking the decisions out of my life about what to eat except for dinner... this method has freed me to work on the emotional issues to a greater depth. And because it is low carb, my cravings have gone away. In fact, I did not binge or overeat or go off plan ONE SINGLE TIME this month. I have *never* gone that long without food issues before. EVER. Medifast does not claim to do any of these things; they just say people usually lose 2-5 pounds a week. That's it. But it has done more than that for me.

I don't want people to read this and run out and buy Medifast because they think it is the magic bullet. We are all different. Yes, many people do lose weight on Medifast. If you follow the plan, the weight comes off. But it is a diet like Weight Watchers or Atkins or South Beach or calorie counting or whatever you *do* to lose weight. And if you go off ANY diet and go back to eating the crap that got you fat, YOU WILL GET FAT AGAIN. People go on and off Medifast, losing and gaining, just like people go on and off any diet. If you are not willing, ready, and 100% committed, NO diet is going to fix your problem. Because diets don't *work.* YOU work. ANY reasonable, healthy plan will get the weight off a person. But you have to find a program, plan, or "way of eating" that *you personally* are willing to do 100%. YOU do the work. Not the diet. But having a plan that feels good and is relatively easy for you to do, well, that's key, too. But commitment... dedication... burying ALL the excuses... that is essential.

I am not out of the woods yet with this eating thing... far from it. I worry I could relapse at any time in a moment of weakness. But as the days tick by and I get farther and farther away from the binges, the *idea* of them gets smaller and smaller, and their draw becomes weaker and weaker. Eating well and being reasonable in my food thoughts and my eating is becoming more the norm for me. At first, I struggled with it: the dichotomy of wanting to eat healthy and wanting to binge. But that struggle is so much tinier now than I ever imagined it could be. I am amazed and grateful. I hope this continues. I never want to fall back into that pit again. I know I could. It's scary. But I am getting less scared as the successful days tick by.

I am still on vacation but when I get back, I have lots to share with you! But now I am heading to bed, full of hope and so very happy to be where I am right now, in every way.

45 comments:

Theresa said...

Oh Lyn,
I am so very happy for you. I know this struggle goes to the very core of our beings. I wish I could just hug you right now and tell you how proud I am of you!!! Happy Easter. :)

jordan said...

What great news! :D

Diana said...

SO proud of you. Thank you for sharing it with us. Happy Easter :)

Banded Girl said...

Because diets don't *work.* YOU work.

What an awesome quote!

Congratulations, Lyn. You are awesome :)

Kyle Gershman said...

It is a great day when you know you are out distancing your demons...you'll stay ahead of them for good.

Congratulations!

stephseef said...

SO thrilled for you. Bravo!

Sib said...

Awesome!! Congratulations Lyn (*_*)

Becca55 said...

Awesome news Lyn!! I am happy that you have found something that you can stick with and that helps you to have more time to work out your issues.Congratz on the weight loss as well I bet it feels good :) Another great post, thank you for sharing.

emmabovary said...

This reinforces what obesity researchers have concluded: it is the consistency which ensures success with weight loss. You said it very well here when you spoke of "cheat days" "giving it 80%"...all the behaviors which we use to run our games when trying to diet. The latest research says those are precisely the behaviors which will undermine success because each time we deviate from a consistent food and exercise program, we weaken our resolve and start down the slippery slope.

As you read weight loss blogs, you'll see this. The successful losers and maintainers are consistent. They stay within their program guidelines, be it WW, Atkins, Medifast or limiting calories. They never ever ever deviate from it. They don't say "80% on, 20% off". Because when they do start believing that excuse, they stop losing/maintaining.

Well done! You've found this out empirically. It sounds like you feel great and have found what you need to keep going to goal. That's wonderful to read.

Leslie said...

WOW!!! Awesome - I'm thrilled for your continuing success and the related insights that are coming. You must feel like a million bucks!

Great work here Lyn. I think this is changing you at a deep level - I've read you for a long time now and can here your growth and acceptance and self understanding. I hope I can catch some of it myself.

Anonymous said...

Hi Lyn! I just spent quite a bit of time reading your entries from the last several months and coming up to speed on your journey. I wanted to fin an active blogger with a weight similar to mine. Just wanted to say that you're doing great and I'm joining you on this journey:) -Heidi

Kat said...

That is really great. The most impressive part is reading about the transformation of how you think about yourself. It's like watching someone else's therapy. Congratulations. I hope you continue to feel this great every day.

Andra said...

Two-teens, you did it!

South Beach Steve said...

Congratulations Lyn! Woot!

Tammy said...

219????? WOO HOO!!!!!!!

Larkspur said...

Excited to be here when you hit 219... great work!

F. McButter Pants said...

Lyn,

I have been following your blog for over a year. I am so happy for you. You deserve the loss. You have worked hard. YOU did it! Keep it up. Can't wait to see what happens next month.

hugs!

CJ said...

Your hard work has paid off! Congratulations!!

Tracy said...

Congratulations! 15 pounds is a lot to lose in just a month. :)

Daisygirl said...

Congratulations!!!!

Sonogal said...

I am so happy for you! There is so much insight in this post, but this line really spoke to me:

"I felt like a slave to my brain and body as I was driven to eat against my wishes."

That's how I feel when I'm stuffing cake or cookies or whatever is handy in my mouth. You are doing a great job conquering your demons! Happy Easter!!

Melissa said...

219 pounds!!! So happy for you! :) :)

Megan said...

Yes, Ma'am!! I'm sooooo happy for you!
Easter Hugs-
M

Ms. PJ Geek said...

good post..congrads. I understand your food addiction is kind of like mine, rooted in unfortunate circumstances and a little more addictive crazy brain behavior than the usual 'oh I want to eat a lot of chocolate because it's easter'. I did a post called ..'brain got hijacked' about a binge I had last week. i think you would relate. I eat a local fresh food delivery system 5 days a week because it helps me do better with portion control, calorie control, and lack of choice. So much more has resulted in a positive way from doing that , but I don't want to do it forever. Nor would anyone want to do Medifast for a long term. I think from reading your posts that Medifast sounds like a good option if you are really in a phase of wanting to committ to a rigourous plan to shake up your body. But definitely, not a lifestyle. you seem very balanced on this.

RedHead said...

WOOOHOOO!!! I am 100% with you as far as your program and the protien supplement program that I've done in order to lose almost 90 pounds so far. It's so much easier to follow a no-thinking, no-choices, type of program and especially if you have binge eating habits. But I totally hear you. If I were to go back to my "old" habits, I would gain all 90 pounds back. It's just a lifechange. But good for you!!

Tony The Pink Panda said...

So happy to hear that things are finally turning around for you, Lyn. Keep it up :).

happyfunpants said...

Congratulations - from the very bottom of my heart.

:)

spunkysuzi said...

That is absolutely awesome!! I'm so happy for you. We have to do whatever works for us.

The Osborne Family - Est. 2008 said...

Way to go!!! I'm proud of you!

Rebekah said...

You rock lyn!

Angela said...

Delurking to say, I'm so happy for you! It sounds like you are in a happy & healthy place right now. That takes work! You should be proud. :)

Katie J said...

Delurking here too. I can read the enthusiasm in your post and it is great to hear. You can actually visualize getting into Onderland! Have you thought of updating your pictures and measurements? I think that would be an interesting stat to keep track of while doing the Medifast too.

Best wishes Lyn and hope you have a wonderful Easter weekend.

Anonymous said...

I understand that this is working for you and everything, but what do you plan to do when the weight is gone. You can't continue medifast your entire life. When you do give that food up what will you do for meals? Will the weight come back? I'm not trying to be rude, but I am dieting and that is what has always stopped me from meal plans like that. Deciding to lose weight means you have to make life style changes. Why lose weight with medifast when it isn't something you will do the rest of your life. I don't want to see everything you have done go to waste just because you never learned how to make choices that will work with you for the rest of your life.

gettingandstayinghealthy said...

Awesome scale reading!!!

I'm also thankful that you write about this not being a magic bullet. Calories in, calories out, no matter how you do it, is the key and the ONLY magic bullet. Medifast is the tool, that is all.

You rock, as always!!

Pamela said...

219 is wonderful. I have maintained a loss of 60 pounds (May 1st will be one year of maintaining), met the weight that I wanted (some people say it's too skinny, but I like it). But what I'm struggling and obsessing over is the maintenance. There's so much about losing the weight, but not much about how to maintain it. Some days I don't obsess as much and other days it's all I can think about. I hope when you meet your goal and I know you will, that it will be easier for you. Congratulations on your weight loss. Isn't it motivating?

Sammy said...

This is so wonderful! Congrats Lyn, I'm so happy for you :)

destinationathlete said...

i am so incredibly happy for you!! Yay for a new decade and for such an incredibly loss in one month!

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy for you, Lyn! You deserve every wonderful thing that is happening. Happy Easter!

Julie

screwdestiny said...

That's fantastic, Lyn! It seems you are becoming more "normal" in terms of the way you view food every single day. Looks like Medifast was just what you needed to help you out. :D

Jacqueline said...

Hi Lyn,

So good to read your are doing so well. It is an inspiration to me to stay on track (normal eating but counting calories). It is true, you have to do the work yourself, always, but that is what makes you stronger every day, both mentally and physically. Stay strong girl and enjoy your Easter Holiday. Life can be so good!

Jacqueline (The Netherlands)

Shelley said...

Lyn! You broke through the 220's! YOU DID IT!!!!! I'm so, so happy for you, my friend - congratulations!!!

Lyn said...

Katie J~

Yes, I generally post new update pictures and measurements every ten pounds. I'll continue doing that :)

Anonymous~

Of course I won't continue Medifast my entire life. I will do it as long as it is helping me or until I get to goal. Either way I will follow their transition program to get off their foods.
As far as "lifestyle change," it sounds like you have not read much of my blog. If you had, you'd see very clearly that I have already done that. Over the past 2+ years I have completely... and I mean completely... changed my way of eating. And over 15 months I was able to maintain a large weight loss with that way of eating. I am using this diet as a tool to get more weight off so that I can become more active without pain and injuries. So to answer your question, I have no worries about what to do when I am done with Medifast, because I was already doing it for the past 2+ years: eat whole, local, natural foods, mostly produce, reasonable portions, no fast food and very little processed crap. I have shown I can do that long term; I really just need/needed to get the binges under control.

Lanine said...

I've had a lot of friends do Medi-fast with great results. I've also had one friend gain back all the weight. So just diligent with the maintenance plan - she wasn't

Congrats- you deserve this!

Dana (www.eatsleepgetfit.com) said...

Congrats on your loss! So awesome! Keep it up!

Erin said...

Congratulations!

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