Friday, January 22, 2010

Veggie Post, Spoiled & Foiled!

Well, I was all ready to wow you with a post about how to prepare and cook a new veggie, but when I cut into it I was met by hidden, interior spoilage. Yuck! I cut deeper and it just got worse, so I am going to take my own advice and bring it back to the store for a refund next time I shop. I may get new veggies this weekend and do the veggie post over the weekend, or it may have to wait til next week, depending on the quality I can find at the store. Too bad, I was excited and hungry for this one! Now you'll have to wait and wonder.

So instead, here's an update:
My weight is just hanging around at a number I do not like. I gained a lot of weight in one week earlier this month and have been wavering up and down a couple of pounds ever since. Not happy with this but it is understandable, really. I have not made enough effort and have not been focused enough on losing it. I admit that. Other things seemed more important this week (having to do with my kids) and I seem to have trouble staying focused on healthy eating and exercise whenever *something else big* is going on. Anyone else have this issue? It seems like it takes a lot of focus, for me, to lose weight... and if I get distracted by some crisis or event that takes a lot of attention, I get scattered and start just grabbing a sandwich, a handful of peanuts, a couple bowl of cereal instead of making salads or prepping healthier foods. I feel like I have nutritional A.D.D. or something.

What I would like: for healthy eating and exercising to be my auto-pilot. I'd like my default behavior to be mindlessly reaching for an apple or hopping on the exercise bike. I'd like it to just be *what I do without thinking.* Like now... I get up, make tea, drink water, get dressed, care for my kids, etc... ALL without thinking. I just do it, no matter what. It is ingrained.

I wonder how long one has to be on the healthy living path for it to become ingrained?

I *like* eating healthy, it just takes planning and thought and effort to do. Which is fine, and worth it, but when life gets crazy the planning and thought go out the window and I "forget" to exercise or I eat food without measuring or eat too much or the wrong things or whatever. It is just easier to revert to what I had done for 35 years. And then I turn around and go, "hey! I am not losing any weight! This sucks, I better put some more effort into this."

There are lines I won't cross, like eating fast food. That is just not going to happen. Hasn't for months. And I won't let myself hibernate, either; I force myself to get up and out the door for a walk almost daily. I've gotten enough sunlight and fake sunlight over the past week to make a huge difference in my energy levels. I just need to move my will-not-cross line a little further up, like "I will not skip workouts just because I am busy." Everyone is busy. It's just about priorities. I am getting better about making myself a priority, except when it comes to my kids. I tend to put them before myself, when in fact, if I am not caring for myself I will not be able to care for THEM.

Well, let's see what I can do over the next week to drop those gained pounds back off my body. I have enough energy to do this, my focus is back on myself, and my body is aching for a change.


Leslie said...

I think half of blogdom is in the same place, Lyn. I know I am. I had a really lousy last week, but didn't realize how lousy until I got on the scale and found I'd gained 5.2 lbs in a week. Damn! I totally understand having a lot going on and it becomes too much effort - emotional, spiritual, physical and mental - to stay on track. Really nuts. I have a feeling this won't ever be easy for me - but I think over lots of consistent time and effort, it will get easier - and more "automated" in my hard drive! Hang in there, friend! I'm making your cabbage roll dish tonight - we love it!

varunner said...

Bummer on the veggie. i hate when you get all excited to make something and then you don't have the right ingredients or find a food spoiled like that. Looking forward to hearing what you make.

Seren_Sighs said...

I have an issue where it seems like one day I do really well and eat healthy and exercise and have a day just like I want.

Then the next day I don't eat as healthy, eat more than I should, and don't exercise. I have trouble with consistency. I'm also a very live in the moment type person so when I do something for a day I feel like I've been doing it for a long time. So when I eat right and exercise one day I feel like I've done it for much longer than just that one day.

I wanted to tell you that I bought turnips this week! I've had them at my grandmothers once but never cooked them myself. Although I'm a little anxious because after reading about them I learned that the smaller ones taste better and that they can taste kinda bitter. Oh well, we'll see what happens.

Autumnforest said...

You know, I remember someone saying one time, "you can't possibly change your lifestyle without leaving your life." It's kind of like Biggest Loser, without the patterns of everyday, they lose easily. It's also the same for alcoholics and drug users in reform-they can't go back to the same friends, habits, and patterns they had before. I asked myself when I started losing weight "how do celebrities live?" Yeah, sounds glamorous, but you know Courtney Cox is probably working out 2-4 hours a day minimum and has everything in her fridge OCD organized with no cheat foods. The truth is, you have to live like a person who is "naturally" thin. I was skinny my whole life until 9 years ago. I changed my lifestyle and it changed my weight. I've since gone back to the things I did when I was thin and the weight is coming off steadily, but the fact is I have to face some things, like I can't just have a girl's day where we binge together and moan and complain. I have to plan it out with veggies, pita and hummus and one tiny piece of dark chocolate. I've learned over time that if I'm not dropping, it's because I'm doing the same thing and the same thing obviously doesn't make me lose. I think you really get your own patterns and know yourself well enough that you'll figure out what your loop is and figure out how to attack your day from a different direction than usual. I remember one episode of "Seinfeld" where George decided to do the opposite of what he normally did and suddenly he had success at every turn. I did a day like that one time and it was insanely enlightening. It might inspire you. p.s. I can't wait for the veggie recipe--I'm always gathering those.

Duddes02 said...

The only person I know who has a really good healthy lifestyle that's natural is my sister.

She joined weight watchers in 9th grade and just learned the right things to do. Now, she is naturally healthy. She plans out her food and never craves or eats junk. It's not that she is resisting them-she really doesn't want it. The only problem is that she doesn't understand other who have eating problem. She'll just tell pple to stop whining and start counting points. I don't think she realizes that it's much easier said and done for others.

bbubblyb said...

I don't know if it ever becomes totally automatic but I do know it's become easier to eat better and exercise enough. For me, exercise has become my ice cream, it's what relieves my stress and anxiety. Sometimes though I can't run to the gym and I do find myself eating out of anxiety. I've notice though that now when I do that "manic" eating I'm stuffing stuff like clementines into my face instead.

My therapist said the other day it's about "managing" ourselves different because people really don't change. I think too for me it's about putting accountability in my life which is what TOPS did for me. I will be a member the rest of my life because I know without that weekly weigh-in I could possibly fall back into old ways. My blog helps too knowing I'm going to be checking in every few days. It is about realizing that this is for life too not just a diet that will end at some point.

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain. I went to sleep and ended up well over 200 lbs. Use your tools (you know them by heart) and keep taking baby steps. I don't eat sugared items anymore because if I start...I can't stop. Know thyself and react accordingly. I have been overeating for over 40 years, so it may take time, or it may never happen, that I have an auto response that is healthy. I wish you well.

Galya Talkington said...

I totally see what you are going through with kids and other things in life being a priority. You have been doing the right thing for so long, you KNOW what to eat. Maybe a new skill to develop is how not to gain weight when you cannot plan. It all comes down to balance: can't work out: take a walk to burn some calories. Can't do that - eat less that day. Have a meal that's all veggies, skip a meal. It's not the end of the world to fast for half a day. You have a perfect strategy for when you are the focus, you need a perfect strategy for when you are NOT the focus, since it will happen again. Good luck and keep inspiring!

Genevieve and Aunt Sue said...

I appreciate your honesty. My niece and I started a blog recently and my weight has been edging up since, even though I've made some good changes. But I had this idea that all my blog entries should be about positive change and weight loss. I don't think that's going to happen if I'm honest about what's going on with me. I've made good changes but I haven't changed lots of other bad habits. I also wish my default mode was different when it comes to food and exercise. Anyway, I appreciate how honest you are about the challenges facing us. -- Sue

PamL said...

It is so hard when you are "not in control" of certain aspects of your life. I have 6 children (11 and under), so many times I am not in control. One thing I have learned over years of losing/gaining weight, is that it will always be a journey and I DO have control over what I put in my mouth. Even if life throws some curveballs, I don't have to let food control me!

midlife_swimmer said...

Being a mom has been the most distracting thing when it comes to my weight loss also. Just the constantly changing schedules and rehearsals and such.... makes my time to cook a healthy meal or count on working out sporadic especially when I was working.

I am glad you touched on this because it reminds me to keep the focus on me.

Marcia said...

You know, I'm not ever sure it's 100% autopilot for everyone. I'm sorry to say that.

I lost >50 lbs in 2002. I mean, for crying out loud, I got down to 125. 125!! (actually lower than that, but that was NOT good for me).

Then I gained 20 lbs while trying to get pregnant. Realized "this is stupid, what if I never get pregnant?" Lost 10 lbs and got pregnant. Ended up at 15-20 lbs over my lowest weight for 2 years. Lost it.

Gained 5 lbs on vacation. Another two over the holidays. And have been there for a couple of years, with not a lot of effort.

But while eating healthy is "autopilot", that doesn't mean that I don't slip. I eat too much chocolate and drink too much wine when stressed. (Even so much that running 15 miles a week and exercising 3 more days can't make up for it). And it only takes a little bit of slip to gain some weight back.

And everyone is different...the amount you slip will depend. To think that you will get to that place and never have to readjust? I think that only happens to a very few lucky people.

For what it's worth, I also lost weight on weight watchers. When I really feel like I've gotten out of control, I go back to it. It requires measuring and weighing and it's a pain, but it's the only wake up call that works for me ... OH, I was eating how much??

Margie M. said...

I've been a WW Lifetime member for 5 years now...and I can truthfully say, it ISN'T easier completely. However... It is easier to not buy unhealthy foods more than it was 6 years ago. It is easier to manage my portions a lot more than it was 6 years ago. It is easier to cook in a healthy way more than it was 6 years ago. The part that isn't easier is that I still "want" to overeat at every meal. I still "want" to eat sweets often. I (we) still go out and indulge every now and again. I do still "think" about food a lot.

I'm still a work in progress and I think I always will be. The day that I "don't" think about food at all would probably be the day I give up on the healthy lifestyle altogether. I vow to NOT let that day come!!!!

Margie M. writes at:

screwdestiny said...

I believe it takes a long time for it to be automatic when you've dealt with some such as binge eating disorder for so long. So don't beat yourself up, just get back in the game. The long you stay there, the quicker it will become habit.

Anonymous said...

I can really relate to the idea of wondering when I am going to naturally eat better and exercise. But the thing is, you (and I) ate bad and didn't exercise for like 10 to 20 years. It is realistically impossible to change that mindset(completely) for good in the matter of 2 or 3 or even 4 years. For me, it has made a difference. I started eating better / dieting in 2006 and this last time when I *went off* I gained weight but 50% less than a normal dive off. That was in part due to the behaviors I had learned. Automatically wanting to choose the least calorie thing when I went for fast food... there was a small effect, and imho evidence that if you do stick with it, your mind will change, even if it doesn't change in the perfect way you want. Every day on the plan even if you don't lose is successful because it is working toward changing your brain.

Ria said...

Lyn, I TOTALLY have the issue with staying focused when other things are going on. This has been a big part of my problem since last fall.

I like the way you put it - getting healthy eating on auto-pilot is exactly what I need to do.

redballoon said...

"Nutritional ADD!!" Love it!!