Friday, January 1, 2010

January 1, 2010: 228 Pounds

Yes, it's true! I lost weight in December! I am pretty pleased with myself. During the past month, I dealt with 3 weeks of sinus infection misery, a couple of sad anniversary dates including the date my father passed away, icy cold winter weather keeping me housebound, and the stress of the holidays. And I dropped 2 pounds. I'm happy with that.

The pattern of my weight loss this month was pretty similar to the last two months. I dropped 5 pounds in the first two weeks, gained it all back and then some in the third week, and then dropped weight the last week. I started December at 230 pounds, got down to 225, up to 234, and ended at 228. Why? Because I went nuts and ate a lot of cookies. That's pretty much it. And why did I not gain weight? Because 75% of the time I showed a great deal of restraint, ate healthy, and got on my bike for 30 minutes a day regardless.

Funny thing I noticed. Do you know what I weighed last year, on January 1, 2009? I weighed 230 pounds. So yeah. I lost two pounds this year! Woohoo! And I am actually proud of that. I dropped a big chunk of weight (down from 278) in 2007/2008, which is nice and all. But to me, the biggest success is that I actually went a year and maintained that loss. Yes, I regained some, and re-lost some. In 2009, I got back up to 245 pounds at one point, but I got myself together, fought some demons, and got back on track. I never gave up, not once, all year long. I *always* had my new lifestyle in mind. I *never* forgot and considered going back to the way I used to be. I can't.

The old me went on lots of diets. She put in a bunch of effort as long as the scale was going down quickly. But as soon as there was a stall, she got all mad and had a tantrum. "I am putting in ALL THIS EFFORT! I am depriving myself of ALL my favorite foods! I am doing this stupid diet and what do I have to show for it?? What?? ONE pound? This is not worth it!" And off she'd go with her shiny new excuse in her pocket, headed to the grocery store to get pizza and garlic bread and peanut butter cups, because it was just TOO HARD to diet.

The old me looks at an overall 2 pound loss in a year. She shakes her head, disgusted. "ALL that work for 2 pounds! What a waste! What a failure."

She doesn't see the big picture. If only she could see herself as she would be, had she not made the effort.

Would she be 300 pounds, immobile, miserable, unable to fit in her size 26 pants anymore?
Wishing she could play with her children?
Unable to go downstairs to do a load of laundry?
Sitting in front of the TV, day in, day out, as life passes her by?
In the cardiac unit at the hospital?
In a casket?

If I had not put in *this much* work, to work through my eating disorder and my emotional attachment to food... if I had not worked to eat healthy meals, learned new things about myself, fought NOT to regain all 64 pounds... if I had not biked hundreds of miles and pushed myself to do more... I would not BE 228 pounds. I would easily be 300+, binge eating my way to an early grave. I'd be missing life. I'd be a very sad woman.

As it is, I am happy. I love my life. I even like my body now! Every day is a new adventure, a challenge to see just what I can do to make *me* better. It feels amazing.

Weight loss is something I want, but not at the expense of health or sanity. I don't want to drop 80 pounds and then regain 100. I want it gone for good. I need to be able to maintain through all kinds of difficulties. And now I know I can.

This year my focus will be on increasing my physical activity and building strength. I pretty much have the eating down pat (except for the nutso bingey feeling days, which are few and far between anymore). I'll continue to eat healthy, load up on fruits and veggies, and watch portions. I'll work on emotional issues and triggers as they pop up. But this is going to be the year of strength and endurance. More bike riding, more walking. More time on the Wii Fit, and a new strength training routine. I love being active, and am excited to begin!

Last night after I rode my bike, I got a really sharp pain in my foot. All night it bothered me and this morning I cannot put any weight on the front/ball of my right foot. I am limping around on my heel. This is NOT how I wanted to start the new year!! I moaned with disappointment when I realized this morning that I have got some kind of injury that is going to need rest. I wanted to bike everyday and I had big plans for winter walking outdoors next week when the kids get back to school. But ya know, it's just a blip in the big scheme of things. I can certainly still weight train (upper body). I am going to attempt padding and different positions for my foot on the bike pedal to see if I can bike without pain (not real hopeful on this, though). The walks will just have to wait until I am healed up. That's ok, it'll happen eventually.

As a special gift to you sweet, supportive folks, I am working on bringing back the Habit-A-Week Challenge! I think it's time we all brushed up on our Healthy Living Skillz. And if you are one of those folks out there who wants to lose weight but just needs a place to start, maybe this will help. One habit a week isn't that hard to master, right? You can do it! I think I'll roll them out on Tuesdays, so keep your eyes peeled.

Enjoy the wonderful new year. May it bring us all blessings of health, happiness and peace.


Losing 100 said...

You had a great accomplishment this last year! Way to stick to you new life style! Hope your foot gets feeling better soon.

lindalou said...

it is a success to have lost and not gained over the year....atta girl!

Ria said...

Congratulations on a great year, Lyn! Your "never give up" attitude was an inspiration to me throughout 2009.

I love your focus on fitness for 2010, and I hope your foot heals up quickly so you can do all that you have planned.

Susans Journey To Stay Fit said...

Keeping the weight off is a success! I am sure when you are ready you will lose more weight. I hope your foot feels better soon.

screwdestiny said...

That's great that you managed to lose weight in December, and your attitude about the whole year is wonderful.

I'm interested in the Habit-A-Week Challenge. There might be some healthy habits that I have not yet implemented. Happy New Year!

Kyle Gershman said...

A true victory...congratulations! Mental health is the key and you've got a better handle on it. Good for you!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the weight loss! Its hard to admit when you feel like you didn't do as good as you could have. I had a hard time admitting on my blog that I actually gained weight this year despite the fact that I own a body bugg. You are truely an inspirational person!

Julie Lost and Found said...

Keeping the weight off is a HUGE accomplishement. Your attitude is so inspiring, as is your weight loss and having kept it off. I love reading your posts.

Wishing you all the joy and success in 2010!!

varunner said...

Congratulations! Maintenance is so much harder than the losing...because it requires perseverance over the long term. You had such a strong year. Keep it up. I hope it only gets easier for you from here :-)

Lori said...

A net of a 2-pound difference on paper, but an amazing learning journey through the year that can't be quantified.

Tina said...

You always continue to amaze and inspire me Lyn! Here's to a great 2010

Tony the Pink Panda said...

It is all about perspective. I like the positive outlook you have. Maintaining is a lot better than gaining it all back - that's for sure.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, but more than that, thank you for the inspiration. I did my first 20 minutes on my bike today and didn't think I could do it but I kept thinking about you and for the first time in my life, I think that I understand that I need to accomplish just ONE thing to build on the next. I consider myself riding right beside but a little behind you. For now, you are my inspiration and God knows I need one.

I'll be looking forward to Tuesday.
Thanks again!

Verona said...

Persistence paid off and you are well on your way maintaining the found ground.

I am happy for you...

theantijared said...

Happy New year to you as well!

Anonymous said...

I'm happy to start off a new year following your blog. I know there is a lot you could teach me. Thanks for sharing!

JewliaGoulia said...


Here is to continued progress and success in 2010!


Anonymous said...

Hi Lyn,

Not sure if this would be of much help but have you ever tried nopales or jicama? They are eaten very differently but both are popular/common in mexican foods. well, just recommending if what you're eating ever gets boring. they should be fairly easy to find. you will surely find nopales at a mexican grocery and the jicama should be available at your regular grocery store. my (mexican) famil usually eats either one with lemon and some salt and tapatio. not sure if you like that tangy taste but i think it's the bomb.

this is not related to your post but thought this would be the best way to post.

Anonymous said...

You are awesome, girlfriend!

I lost a total of 3lb for the year, so I hear ya....but hey - a loss is a loss is a loss, and it shows committment and stability towards weight loss. That's what ultimately really matters!

Autumnforest said...

Considering that the vast majority of people gain weight each year on and and on and on, staying at your weight or even losing a few pounds in a year is a huge thing! It shows you know how to stop weight gain and start to reverse it. That's really something! Yahoo!

jojo said...

Maintaining is a huge accomplishment! All the best for the new year!

The Brown Recluse said...

Won't be too long before you are in One-derland!
Very inspirational post.

Steelers6 said...

And I'll bet your measurements are improved, and we know your stamina, and I think your clothing size, so yeah, a lot to be proud of, and it doesn't quite boil down to losing 2 lbs since last Jan. 1. Glad you are seeing the whole picture. I can't allow myself to see the yearly WL # as cut & dried for myself either, or it would be a little discouraging. I think if I really ponder, it IS wonderful and proud, (for ME), but I think about that # and what others might think, or compared to other yeah, I have a lot to be proud of too. And there is the fact that I started, y'know? making me 2 years closer to where I need to be now. I need to look at things like measurements, toning, fitness, quality food intake, clothing size, and the fact that I am STILL on track also.

I am glad you can flat out say how proud you are of your accomplishments, bc you should be.

I am proud of you too.

Shelley said...

Happy New Year, Lyn! Great attitude about all that you have accomplished in 2009 - it isn't always the number on the scale. Looking forward to seeing your progress in 2010!

Ms. PJ Geek said...

Great Attitude. I kept thinking "Exactly" "OMG That's me!" when you said : ".... But as soon as there was a stall, she got all mad and had a tantrum. "I am putting in ALL THIS EFFORT! I am depriving myself of ALL my favorite foods! I am doing this stupid diet and what do I have to show for it?? What?? ONE pound? This is not worth it!" And off she'd go with her shiny new excuse in her pocket, headed to the grocery store to get pizza and garlic bread and peanut butter cups, because it was just TOO HARD to diet."

Did you read my journals? Are you my long lost twin sister?

Anyway, joking aside. Great attitude. Great blog.
Happy New YEar.

Steelers6 said...

Oh, and we both have other achievements that count too for 2009, such as your giving up fast food and soda pop.

I stopped with soda pop in October and have not looked back. I haven't officially said no fast food, but can't even tell you when I last had any. I really don't eat it either.

So yeah, as Shelley says, so much more than a # on the scale. Thanks Lyn & Shelley. Chrissy

Ashley said...

Hi Lyn, This doesn't really have anything to do with this post directly, but your problem with your foot sounds just like a problem I had with my foot. I had pain on the ball of my foot and any pressure on it hurt (eventually even just walking). I let it get bad enough that eventually I could feel some kind of knot underneath my skin. Anyway, I went to my regular doctor and he sent me to a podiatrist who specialized in sports and dance injuries. He podiatrist said I had tendonitis in the tendon that connected my third toe the muscles there, and he made me custom inserts for my running shoes and my regular shoes that day in the office. (Which meant I could only wear that one pair of regular shoes to the office for the next week, but that was ok.) Anyway, within the day I could tell my foot was getting better and I didn't have to take any anti-inflammatory medicine or anything. I had crappy health insurance at the time so they only paid $15 and I paid $80. Which is to say, even if you had to pay the whole thing out of pocket, I think it would be less than $100.

Anonymous said...

I think that maintaining your weight loss over the year is an extremely important accomplishment and I am very inspired by reading your blog. Now, not to rain on your parade, but I would suggest that you get to the doctor immediately with your foot.

About a year and a half ago I had the same symptoms after walking on the treadmill. It was a stress fracture of the metatarsal region, but I didn't realize it and continued to walk on it for a few days. The foot has never been the same since then. Like I said, I hate to be the only wet blanket among your commentators, but I wouldn't want anyone to have the problems that I've had, especially after all the progress you've made.


Lyn said...

Ashley & Rosalie~

Thanks for the input on my foot. It sucks!! Actually this happened twice before so maybe I have royally messed up my foot. I have been thinking about seeing a doctor on this. I don't have health insurance so I have to be careful... I just spent over $100 to get my sinus infection taken care of! Anyway I plan to call the foot dr in a day or two if it has not improved, and see how much it would be to go in.

It made me sadder than you can imagine to be unable to ride my bike tonight.

Lyn said...

Oh, and Anonymous with the jicama~

I had jicama in a salad and really liked it once! Never heard of nopales. I will look in the produce section and report back if I get some to try! Thanks for the idea!

Fal said...

This isn't particularly related to today's post, but I just wanted to say- I've been reading through your archives the past few days, and I've really enjoyed it. Reading about your journey has been fascinating, and you've made so many great points that are applicable to anyone's attempts to lose weight or just get healthier. I'm definitely going to keep reading, and I wish you the best of luck!

Also I hope your foot gets better! *sends get-well-soon brainwaves through the magic of the internet*

bbubblyb said...

Way to go on your year of growth Lyn.

I loved the habit of the week.

Julie said...

Way to go! December is a tough month for weight loss or maintenance. Too many wonderful goodies around. Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

Well done Lyn! Isn't it great to feel positive about that 2lbs weight loss this year? It could have been so different, but it wasn't.

I have a sneaking suspicion that I might have lost my way after falling off the wagon. Your determination to keep going is what weight loss is all well as the realisation that this is for life. The healthy eating and exercise have to become habits...habits which have to replace the binge-eating when things go wrong or we have a mood-swing. I need to choose a walk, even a ten-minute stroll round the block over a piece of cake.

I have discovered no one in my house likes stollen. I love it, but am left with a huge one, which I am getting through slowly, a slice or two a day. I told myself I must throw it out...but I haven't yet, and half a loaf is still left. There is a real tug of war going on in my head about the best place for this marzipan-filled fruity cake. The bin is where it should be.

Ah well, back to looking at my 'a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips' fridge magnet.

I am going to throw it out. You have saved me from the stollen!

Best wishes to you and yours for a really good 2010 Lyn, and thanks for giving me the cyber-kick regarding my eating that I've needed so often this year.

DBDee x x x

Kim said...

I lost 40 pounds 1 1/2 years ago and have put back on 12 of them. I am on my way back down. Although I am glad I haven;'t gained it all back, it is frustrating to have gained ANY of it back. Working to be consistent in my weight loss efforts! Keep up the good work! (p.s. I weighed 228 this morning too!)

Val said...

All those studies show how hard it is to maintain weight loss-and you are doing it chicky!!!! And then some-WTG!!!!

I love that your blog always makes me think about triggers and the reasons behind the eating, not just the behavior itself. Thanks for that :)

Happy new year!!!!

lindalou said...

love you, girl
following you , faithfully.
your blog is the BEST !!!

Tiff said...

I LOVE the way that you think- if you've been reading my blog I've had a lot of similar thoughts lately!

Lately I've been watching those TLC shows about the "half ton mom" and "world's largest teen" and I've just been so thankful that even if the weight isn't coming off as quickly as I'de like that I'll never be in that position because I am putting forth effort and I am aware!

Keep it up!

skinnyhollie said...

Maintaining is HUGE!!!! This will be a great year!

Thin in 2010!