Friday, December 18, 2009

Two Weeks Left

I am finally over my sickness, which lasted a week and a half. I was really hating it. No energy whatsoever, constant headaches and fatigue. Thank goodness I am on the mend and can get on with the holiday excitement, including taking my little one to see Santa and his (real) reindeer, finishing up the shopping, and baking Christmas cookies and fudge!

For the last two weeks, my exercise efforts have been kind of frustrating. I really enjoy getting outside for a walk a couple of times a week, and I usually do that when the kids are all in school and my daughter is in preschool (twice a week). But there have been school delays, cancellations, ice storms, and temperatures in the teens. So I only got in one ten-minute walk over the past two weeks (well, mainly it was because I was sick... but other circumstances are conspiring too). I really miss my walks! And now that school is out until January, it doesn't look like I am going to get much walking in at all this month. (Yeah, I get all the comments of "just take the kids with you" etc, but trust me that would be a bad idea in this weather. My little one has health issues that would make such an action very unwise.) Anyway, I've been biking instead. It's just as effective, or maybe even more effective than a walk, but not as refreshing or stimulating or enjoyable for me. But I just do it anyway. I biked 6 days out of the past 2 weeks. The other days, I was just too sick. Now that I am back to better health, the biking will happen daily.

Yesterday I continued my "new plan" of eating *with* my cravings instead of against them, enjoying such carby, fatty, salty delights as chicken enchilada soup, a sandwich with veggies and herbed cream cheese, chocolate truffle Godiva coffee with half & half and sugar, chocolate pudding, chicken sausage, a cookie, and a yummy pile of mashed potatoes with butter melting over the top, generously salted. It was really good and I did not binge at all. And this morning I am down another pound, back to 226 (I had reached 229 on Wednesday). I totally expected to gain or maintain with the way I am eating the last couple of days but apparently my body knows what it needs, or something... which is confusing because in the past I have binged myself into oblivion giving in to my cravings. I am not sure what's so different this time. I still get the wild urge to binge every so often but I have been going into a dark bedroom, lying down for 10 minutes, just riding through it, trying to relax and breathe until it passes. Or until a kid comes and jumps on me.

I expect the rest of the month to be a challenge. Cookies, candy, fudge, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day traditional foods. One of the biggest challenges I face is crackers and cheese. It's one of my biggest binge foods. I mean I used to eat a good half pound of cheese and a whole box of crackers in a sitting. Something about the combination sends me to another world. It's like getting high. Seriously. I am not sure yet how I am going to handle it. My family *loves* the traditional spread of cheese, sausages, spreads, dips, and crackers. I am mulling it over to figure out what I am going to do with this. And finally, the anniversary of my father's sudden death is coming up. I do not cope well. I'll probably post about it. And try not to flip out and be a basket case about missing him.

Okay, so in 2 weeks it will be 2010. Whatcha gonna weigh on Jan 1? Two weeks... well you could weigh more, or less, or the same. Your choice! Try and let 2009 go out with some dignity and not spend the next two weeks bingeing and eating whatever garbage is put in front of you. Give yourself a Christmas give of self-respect. I may not lose a ton of weight in the next 2 weeks, but I am at least going to make my best effort to eat in a dignified manner.

Have a great weekend :)

15 comments:

Autumnforest said...

I like that you really get what your plan is. My eating is fantastic, but I'm a sugar addict, so I just remind myself--as long as I stay away from any added sugar, I'll be okay. At least I don't need to count points or calories or ratios... When I put it that way in my head, it seems so very easy. Getting off the sugar train, though, another matter. Don't know if you like to dance, but when I was housebound because of the extreme heat here, I would put on music and dance while watching the TV with mute on. We finally got an ellipitical and then a recumbent bike so I now have a legit workout room. I think my New Year's goal is to see how far I can take my workouts--instead of just trudging through them--try to get really uncomfortable and dig deep within to do a little more...oh, and NO SUGAR! I'll keep you posted on that. My goal is a bikini shot for my blog on Memorial Day. Incredibly ambitious, but I'm pretty focused. We'll support each other!

TheLosingAmerican said...

First off...I am SO with you on the New Years Eve thing. Since you posted that blog last week asking if 'are going to bring in the new year thinner, heavier or the same?' I've had it ringing in my ear all this week, continually thinking about what you said.

I'm SO determined to end 2009 THINNER and begin 2010 one step ahead of the game :)

Regarding the following your cravings comment. I think that this definitely helps when you're trying to lose weight. Because, let's face it, real and true weight loss is actually a lifestyle change. It's learning how to control food and not let IT control you. Today I cut up my mom's fudge. I really really wanted a piece. So I had a half of a piece, and I was absolutely fine. I ate it really slowly and then walked away.

The Shrinking Violet said...

Glad to hear the new plan is working well for you and that you are starting to move around. I'm with you on the going to lie in a darkened room for ten minutes when those crazy binge feelings start.

karen@fitnessjourney said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's passing. My father has been gone for 12 years, but the anniversary of his death (on my son's birthday) is always a really hard day. Maybe try to plan something uplifting for that day to celebrate his life.

Jen in MN said...

Thanks for the motivation! I plan to weigh LESS in 2 weeks than I do right now. (-: Might as well have a jump on the New Year!

I thought in the past you've said your oldest kid or two sometimes watches your youngest - weather permitting for walking, would that be a way you could get out for a walk or two in the next couple weeks? Just a thought. I love walking outdoors, too, and hate that this time of year usually prevents it. )-;

Heather said...

Wow good for you for getting right back into your workouts despite getting sick! I love the idea of eating with your cravings instead of trying to fight them, it seems to have paid off. I think the holidays are kind of tough for everyone. I hope I can get through them as well without gaining weight!! Keep it up, you are such an inspiration!

The Phat Nanny said...

I really like the way you think things through. I think you're really finding the balance between what it means to diet and what it means to make good life line habits.

screwdestiny said...

Dignity's always good. :) That's great that your new plan for eating during this week is working well for you. Chocolate truffle coffee sounds heavenly!

kelly said...

Sounds like you are figuring your body out. We are complicated creatures, aren't we?! LOVE your last paragraph! I want this year to end with some self-respect. Thanks!

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Me? I'm gonna weight a lil' bit less. ;)

The Brown Recluse said...

Christmas is not diet friendly.
I think sometimes when you crave certain foods, you must be dificient something it offers...
~M

Anonymous said...

It does not suprise me that the way you are eating with your binges you are still losing weight. Instead of the calories from your regular foods and the calories of a binge you are eating within your calories whether it is good food or not. I am not saying that you should eat this way all of the time, but hey if it is workign for ya I say go ahead! You are doing so great on your journey and I enjoy working right along side of you :) I started about a month ago and I am down about five pounds depending on the time of month ;) I think I will start journeling my experience in a notebook just in case I run into a binge thing and need to figure it out. Thanks for the encouragement!

-Sarah

Ms. PJ Geek said...

I'm a little jealous /impressed/in awe you are losing. Suffering through illness and grieving are not something anyone wants, so I feel for you there. My husband and I never had kids and many of our family members have passed , so this holiday is always a little lonely and sad for me. Food is my comforter...struggling a bit now.

As a nurse though, I can tell you that when we are sick our metabolism actually may increase because our immune system is working overtime to heal you. So that may be part of your loss. I think our body goes through periods when it can lose and when it is going to hold on to pounds. I lost 10 lbs between thanksgiving and Christmas last year. I keep a little notebook of my food and exercise also versus doing it on sparkpeople or fit day because I like to take my notebook with me everywhere and journal in it. I'm looking back at my food journal from last year to see what the heck I was doing. Thank you as always for sharing.

Chubby Chick said...

I'm so glad you're feeling better! :)

I'm hoping to make it through the rest of this month without a gain. And a loss would be fabulous! Here's to a great 2010 for all of us! :)

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, we have so much in common. Another reader suggested reading "The End of Overeating", it will help explain why we crave the foods we do and why we feel like we can't resist, no matter how strong our will is. I am re-reading it today, it is based on fact and scientific study. Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah! Elisabeth