Monday, November 16, 2009

Slay the Dragon

The other day, I got a comment on my blog. It was framed as a supportive comment, which I appreciate, and seemed excited about my weight loss. But part of the comment made me pause and think. It said that they'd almost stopped reading my blog because I was gaining weight every month.

Hmmm.

Why do you read blogs? Why this one? Well, if you read blogs to see "I ate a salad and lost 2 pounds this week!" then I can imagine your dismay logging onto mine over the past year and seeing month after month of weight gain, very small losses, and no losses. Heck, over the past year my weight went UP overall, not down. So if you read blogs to watch someone get thinner, I can understand abandoning mine.

But you know, if that's all you're looking for, there are myriads of blogs out there full of people who post losses pretty much every month, talk about eating chicken breasts and green beans and going to the gym everyday and losing their weight. Kudos to them! I am glad people blog their losses.

But this blog is not about that. This blog is not even really about losing weight. Oh, yes, it started out that way. I began writing this blog as a way to chronicle my "diet" and weight loss and in the first year I dropped 64 pounds. But then, something happened. Something scary, common, sad, and profound.

I regained some weight.
My binges became out of control again.
My emotions went haywire.
I was still using food as a crutch... a way to cope... and I seemed doomed, like thousands of others, to just regain all the weight I'd lost.

It happens every day, these regains. We look and see someone who lost a hundred pounds and regained it all and we just cannot get our heads around HOW that happened. People "fall off the wagon." They lose control and fall into the pit of overeating, unable to pull themselves out. Bloggers stop posting and disappear. People give up, or they gain all the weight back and then 'do it again' in a vicious cycle of dieting and overeating. That is not what happened to me.

This is a blog about overcoming addiction. It is a chronicle of how one person worked on not just the physical aspects of weight loss but also the emotional and mental issues that lurk behind Binge Eating Disorder. It took me a solid YEAR of working through a lot of these issues to get to the point I am now: practically binge-free. My entire mental state has changed and thus, so has my world. It was a year where my weight stats were far less than spectacular, but I accomplished something monumental in that year. I kept blogging. I stayed honest. I continued pushing myself to eat healthy and exercise between the binges. I honestly examined the feelings, thoughts, and circumstances that surrounded my eating disorder, and I began to get control of something that seemed impossible. And I count that as a victory. If all you saw over the past year was, "Oh, how sad, she gained 3 pounds," then you missed the biggest, most important part of my journey.

I am quite sure I would NEVER have been able to keep the weight off or continue losing had I not done this background mental work on a daily basis. I know it may have taken me longer simply because I did not have a counselor or therapist, but I also made a DECISION not to be a victim and sit whining, "Oh well, I don't have health insurance, I can't afford a therapist, I don't have child care, there isn't even an eating disorder therapist in my area." I chose NOT to be a victim. I don't care if you live in the most remote part of Alaska in an igloo, you can still do the tough mental work to break free from your food addiction. IT IS HARD. It seems impossible. But *own your power.* Take the time. The year would've passed anyway and I am far better off now than I was a year ago. I am better off than if I had given up and gained back to 280 pounds, but I am also better off than if I had "dieted" my way to 140 pounds WITHOUT doing the necessary emotional work. I am right where I need to be. I am very proud of that.

There may be days ahead when I flip out and relapse to binge eating. Who knows? This is uncharted territory for me. While I feel completely in control now, and would like to believe I will reach a normal weight without consequence and with a constant downward scale trend, that may not occur. I probably have more mental work to do as I lose this weight. I got this fat for a reason, and it wasn't just because I liked the taste of food or didn't know what I should be eating or was lazy. Dealing with the emotional issues behind the weight is truly THE MOST IMPORTANT PART of my journey, and of this blog. When I was gaining weight, I was learning. I was battling and listening and thinking and feeling. And if, at some point in the future, the scale goes UP again, I may not like it, but I assure you I *will* learn from it. I am going to beat this thing, and it is going to be forever.

So enjoy the blog. See the progress, not just based on the scale, but on the essential changes that have occurred. I am a *new person.* The message I hope to convey, here, is that Binge Eating Disorder is not the unconquerable monster it seems to be. Do not give up, even if the scale is disappointing and you're embarrassed and frustrated and feeling hopeless. You can come out on top. You can slay the dragon. And the time to start is now.

69 comments:

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Brava!

Anonymous said...

"but I accomplished something monumental in that year. I kept blogging."

You said it all right there. I commented about this on your last post. You have no idea...well I hope you do...of how courageous you are for blogging through your struggles. I cannot count how many "graveyard" weight loss blogs I have stumbled across where the person just falls off the face of the earth because they gained.

You are a changed person and that is so evident...especially to someone like me who has read every single one of your postings. You are amazing Lyn! Don't ever leave the blogosphere!

Kudos, kudos, kudos!

-T

happyfunpants said...

*THIS* is why I love your blog. You are being (and dare I say "keepin' it?") real.

In my opinion, when people focus solely on the weight (the numbers), they aren't really fighting the whole battle. They aren't really looking at the reasons BEHIND the weight loss.

It might work for people that only have 10-20 pounds to lose. But people (like myself) that have over 100?

There are reasons why people gain weight. Those REASONS aren't usually that we had no idea that veggies are good for us.

I love that you explore the emotional reasons...ones that helped you put on the pounds and ones that help you take them off.

I also loved that you mentally challenged her comment...that shows that you ARE changing.

Way to go! :)

Shamus O'Malley said...

Well said!

Jessie said...

You always seem to get the haters. That's too bad? I'm sorry you have to endure that. But you are obviously one who perseveres! So keep on keepin' on. Also, on a side note, I left you a comment the other day about the pumpkin pie and how mine was undercooked. Well I wanted to tell you I re-attempted it this weekend and cooked it for a little longer (in the minute intervals you suggested) and IT WAS PERFECT. It was the most delicious thing I have ever eaten. Thank you for the recipe and the advice on it! :D

Graze With Me said...

I've been reading your blog for over a year now and I just want to say that I would never just stop reading for some trivial reason like that. Yeah, I guess if that person just wanted the easy button, another blog may be able to give them that. But your blog isn't an "eat this and be thin" blog". It's about life.

Your writing has some of the most eloquent, decriptive, gut-wrenching honesty that most of us need!! I love your posts, I don't care *what* you weigh, I just like reading about overcoming new obstacles on a daily basis! Oh and I LOVED your weekly habits you did months (a year?)ago, I looked forward to the next one every Monday.

Val said...

Your blog makes me feel no alone.

Your blog makes me feel I can overcome my eating.

Your blog gives me hope that I can also change.

Keep writing woman!!!!

Sarah said...

I love your blog and agree with pretty much everything you said. I identify with you a lot and really appreciate it when you post your struggles. Helps me not to feel alone and not to feel hopeless.

And I agree...man cannot live on chicken breast and broccoli alone (nothing against either of those things but variety really is the spice of life).

Mary :: A Merry Life said...

My blog is the same way. I gained weight more often than I lost weight on it, but it's less about the actual weight than me working through my issues. I would never stop reading your blog because it is one of the best out there.

What a Splurge said...

You're so right that it's not just about the numbers on the scale. Making changes is hard work. Doing it alone is harder, but in many ways, you're not alone. You've been there for us and we're here for you.

Margie M. said...

Just found your blog today and am now a Follower. I like your style! You are REAL. That is what is most important. I have a blog on trying to maintain a weight loss. It is not easy and I, too, have many ups and downs. Sometimes several in a week. Just because a person has lost the weight they wanted doesn't mean the battle is over. It is never over when you are trying to overcome the desire to overeat. For me, it still is not "moonlight and roses". Good luck to you in your quest to conquer your binge eating.

Fattie Fatterton said...

I totally agree - this is a journey toward a new mental state, not just a physical one.

I am really enjoying your blog, Lyn. Thanks for writing!!

Anonymous said...

I've been following your blog for a long time and want to thank you for doing it.

Food addiction is complex and you address it beautifully by sharing your triumphs and defeats with us.

Once Upon A Dieter said...

I come to your blog daily (though I don't post a comment frequently), because I see a wonderful, REAL person here. I was excited when you were losing, cause you were my big inspiration. And I sympathized when times turned rough. I understood--empathized--with the binge and emotional eating issues.

I like this blog cause I like you. I follow YOU, not just your diet, cause you are honest and genuine and a person who is not afraid to dig deep.

I like all sorts of blogs, and I like those that show weight loss that inspires me (like Katschi's right now), but I know that 95%+ of folks who lose weight also regain it. And part of the journey is dealing with issues inside and body issues outside and losses and gains.

I agree, there're blogs out there for all tastes. People who only want the "big winners" who do it all perfectly, all the time, all the way--well, yours and mine ain't those blogs.

The P

Val said...

I am a huge fan of your blog for precisely this reason-- that you keep things real, that you are honest about both your losses and gains. While there are others who find inspiration is seeing loss after loss, that is not something that I can identify with, and I think far more women are in our situation than on a path of constant weight loss. The reason why your blog, and your writing, is so wonderful is because when you are on a losing streak, and i am gaining weight, I know there is hope for me, and when you are gaining weight and i am on a losing streak, i know that weight loss is just around the corner for you. It's all about understanding, relating to, and identifying with the blogger.

Please keep writing just the way you do!

Leslie said...

Great post, Lyn. You have been one of many bloggers who've given me the motivation and inspiration to stay in over the long haul on this journey from addiction. I've also experienced many more relapses into bingeing behavior than I've wanted to admit to. Many days I decided I wasn't going to "mention" a recent binge on my blog. And then I'd read someone else's unrelentingly honest post about similar struggles, and I was infused with enough courage to tell my own truth, at least for that day. It's happened many times, and I'm so grateful for the support, help and friendship of the blogging community I've received.

You're so right that the journey from addiction is about much emotional excavation. It's much more a head game than a body game! You've been one of the main co-travelers on this journey from whom I've drawn experience, strength and hope.

Becca55 said...

Great post lynn this is very inspirational and I have utmost respect for you. I am so proud that no matter what you keep on writing and that you have conqured so much in your journey. The emotional and mental issues are the most important in my opinon and once you can get past them and work them out the rest seems to fall into place. Keep on keeping on you ROCK!!

Emma said...

thanks lyn. You seem to write just what i need to hear right when i need to hear it. Like you i've come such a long way emotionally but that can be easy to forget when the scale doesn't go where i want it to. Thanks for reminding me how far i've come.

Diana said...

I read your blog because I see a part of me in your writing. The losing AND more importantly, the gaining.

This journey is full of highs and lows, emotionally and on the scale. Sharing your setbacks and your progress gives me hope.

I love your blog. Even when you're not in the best place I still learn from it. I learn from you overcoming the challenges, I learn from you failing and winning.

Lyn, even though I don't post every day, your blog is at the top of my must read blogs. Keep up the great work. I'm watching you closely. :)

aimeeinak said...

I'm a newbie to your blog but what I enjoy is that you seem to write about what you're feeling and how you deal with it, and that's what will keep me coming back. The number on the scale is almost beside the point, which I hope doesn't sound mean. lol I'm in the process of losing weight and I've only recently realized just how much of an emotional journey it is, rather than a physical one. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. :-)

Jules said...

Most of us that have struggled with weight issues for years know exactly how it feels to be addicted to the food and dislike the roller coaster ride.

Your blog helps me not to feel alone while I am trying to change my attitude no matter what the scale says

Taryl said...

Lyn, I do not comment daily (though I check your blog every day!) and maybe I should, because it it precisely your intense honesty that refreshes and strengthens me on my own lifelong journey towards health. It's not always pretty, neat losses for me either, but the growth as a person can often be more valuable than any number on a scale.

We are the sum of FAR more than the dictates of a scale, and you prove that over and over. You own your power and are victorious over a vicious disorder - that matters to you, it matters to me, and it matters to the hundreds of other people who you empower through chronicling your own journey.

Bravo, beautiful.

Tanya said...

I am so glad that you posted the response you did in response to the person who almost stopped reading your blog because you have gains. ANYONE who is human is going to have a gain! I certainly hope people would not stop ready my blog if I gain weight...yikes, how discouraging! I think blogs like yours are out there both to encourage others (and I'm sure tons of people can relate to weight gains!) and to have others encourage you. Keep up the good fight!

kelly said...

Great post. I read your blog because I see myself in your words. Life happens to everyone, whether you have a blog or not. You are healing yourself one day at a time. Bravo!

Lyn said...

Thank you all for the WONDERFUL, supportive comments! Many brought a tear to my eye. How can I ever feel alone again, with such a beautiful bunch of people right here with me? Someday, I am going to have some kind of blog meetup so I can meet many of you amazing people!! Thank you :)

Julie said...

I love your blog. It keeps me going when I want to fall face first into a huge pile of food and inhale it. You write beautifully, eloquently and honestly. Thank you.

rusty61 said...

You are SO inspiring to me, and you make me feel hopeful that I can change.

Thank you for that.

Jules said...

If all you saw over the past year was, "Oh, how sad, she gained 3 pounds," then you missed the biggest, most important part of my journey.

VERY well said. I would also venture to add that they missed the journey itself in a way. The most important work is all the sweat and tears that come before the numbers on the scale, be they up or down.

Kristin from the NW said...

I love your blog and read it everyday. It's real life, and I can so identify--which is very important! Right now I'm loving the food ideas--you're so creative and inspiring. Had some delicious oatmeal out of the crockpot this morning with craisins and chopped almonds and found myself thinking that this is the kind of yummy meal that Lyn talks about! LOL! Take care and don't sweat the meanies.

Bethany said...

Well said! Just don't let them get to you!! :)

stephseef said...

you continue to inspire and amaze. bravo.

Greta from www.bigbottomblogger.blogspot.com said...

Lyn, your blog is so good...so heartfelt and so very honest. You are able to put in writing what I (and I assume many others) struggle with on a daily basis but are too afraid to come right out and say. You are brave. You are insightful. I appreciate your blog very much. It has helped me address some of my weaknesses in a way that no one else has been able to. You rock. Thanks.

Foodie Girl said...

Simply outstanding...

Candace said...

I agree with Greta that you are very honest & brave, keep it up~

Autumnforest said...

You know,I think I'm like the majority of women. Reading your blog is like every conversation I have with my good friends when we hang out. We get real about struggles, whether their relationships, kids, body image, eating good or bad things... I don't think you'd have a lot of supporters if you were losing 5 pounds a week and keeping it off. I think women want to see others who are doing it like they are, a side event in a life filled with other commitments. We're always the last thought in a day full of events. That's reality. You're reality. Every time you make a breakthrough mentally or physically, we feel like we've all earned the wisdom and the kudos. You're real. Don't ever be anything else.

Steelers6 said...

Omw, a Meetup! I would love to meet you sometime. You inspire. :)

I do expect at the very least if I can't actually MEET you, to see you on a talk show some day. Maybe an interview about WL, maybe about your blog, or maybe the interview would be about a BOOK you have out that tells your journey or otherwise encourages people!! In any case, I expect it. :) [and of course I would feel all proud, & feel like "I knew you here first! Before 'fame'!"] Smiles, Chrissy.

spunkysuzi said...

I don't read blogs because they're perfect. I read blogs because they are just like me with their ups and downs!! By the way i love your blog :)

Pamela said...

Bravo, Lyn! This is exactly what I needed to read right now. Thank you!

Susannah said...

Just wanted to add my heartfelt admiration to the list! I love your insights, Lyn, and your writing is really top-notch. I am always inspired, touched and challenged by your posts. Thanks for keeping on and staying honest.

McLauren84 said...

Wow, so true! How many bloggers have vanished before our eyes? You blog about LIFE--in all its unfiltered ups and downs. I do love blogs of ultra-successful losers, but I must admit it never feels real. I can't relate to it. It doesn't really stir me inside, other than raising that endless cycle of, "Why can everyone else lose weight but me? I guess I just don't want it. I guess I'm just not good enough."

I can't tell you how refreshing I find your honesty. I come here every day knowing I will read something real. And thank you for that.

One additional thank you--I finally got the courage to start a blog. I've wanted to for about a year, but I didn't know if I was ready for the accountability. You made me realize it doesn't have to sunshine and rainbows or nothing at all. I'm ready to start working through my issues, so thanks for a push in the right direction.

Anonymous said...

You are in control. Keep going! <3<3

flyingwoman said...

I'm so proud of you, gain or lose. Your self awareness and the work you're putting in is so much more a big deal than a pound or even 20.

You feel like a kindred spirit on my own journey and I'm grateful you're out there blogging.

Kim said...

Gosh, honestly may sound funny but it is so refreshing to see a blogger who is very open about the good and the bad of weightloss. I'm having a hard time getting started with the whole "dieting" thing again but when I read your blog...it truly does motivate me and it gives me a lot to think about. Keep it comin!

antgirl said...

You've done a lot of internal work. Your thoughtfulness and insights are what make you unique. :) You can't please everyone and you can't write to please everyone. Keep going.

pgor said...

I am new to your site but quickly becoming a fan. I find your blog real and one I can identify with. My struggle with weight has gone on for almost 30 years. It seems as most of the people who post comments are strugguling with weight issues. We all choose to slay this dragon in a way that works for us. For me it's calorie counting, journaling,and exercise but most of all prayer. Be strong and keep blogging.

Anonymous said...

Am I alone in thinking that many diet blogs are totally uninspiring? Am I alone in thinking that many 'slimmers' are crashing diet bores?

Lyn, you are neither which makes you much more readable.

I don't want to read about people who go to the gym religiously and polish their halos every day. I find that sort of 'terribly focused and disciplined' stuff a real turn-off. I appreciate that you ARE focused and disciplined, but in a very natural way, recounting your struggles and thought processes. It's what I need...and sometimes I think you may have wormed your way inside my head - I relate to you, even though our circumstances are different.

For me you are a therapist, teacher, dietician and loving mother all rolled into one....

I am going through some sort of denial regarding my need to exercise....and I give in still to my moods which see me heading for the fridge and kitchen cupboards. Just DO IT is the message I need...and you are doing it. I am cheering you all the way

Lyn, I admire your strength and your acknowledgement of the stumbling blocks on the path.(One day my desire to get my life in order will hit me. I am half-heartedly trying to control my eating - and self-esteem.) I doubt if I'll have a Road to Damascus experience regarding getting my act together. Days are going by without me tackling my problems, but every day, without fail when I read you, you are telling me something I need to know, giving me hope and encouragement..planting seeds of hope.

You are REAL Lyn...you are human and fallible...and as far as I am concerned, the best 'diet' blogger there is. We need to appreciate we have good and bad moments/days..and that we can work with them.

Wishing you continued success..and continued self-knowledge. Thanks for passing it on.

DBee x x

Dinah Soar said...

You get it Lyn--that in order to keep lost weight off, you must figure out the fundamental "why"..as in why am I overweight in the first place..you must go beyond the obvious pat "I'm overweight because I eat more calories than I burn"...duh..it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

You are doing the work of discovery...finding out what works for you and what doesn't...tweaking your eating habits...figuring out your mental state relative to food..discovering it is your crutch, your addiction..whatever...and changing your behavior, netting changes in your food intake that will be productive and not put you in a state of feeling restricted, which only serves to add to your crisis..instead your changes will net power..you learn you can overcome, that you don't have to be a slave to your appetite for food, for satiation, for comfort derived from food..that there are other comforts, other ways to feel 'full'.

All those bloggers who lose a lot of weight on a diet will gain most or all of it back, I promise you--with the exception of a very few. And those few all too often just trade eating disorders. They go from being emotional gluttons to anorexics almost--or bulimics..but the result is still the same..food controls their life..their every waking hour revolves around it. That is not healthy. A low number on the scale does not make one a healthy person--physically or mentally.

I too lost weight--a lot of it--twice..but I didn't address my core issue. I was unaware that there is more to permanent weight loss than eating less calories.

Thank God I am off of that roller coaster of restriction, denial and angst.

To those of you who read my comment and think differently I say fine, you're entitled to your thinking/opinion..but you just wait..you'll find out that this older and hopefully wiser person knows whereof she speaks. Let's see where you are 10 years from now, 15 years, 20 years..if you've lost and stayed within 5-7 pounds of your goal weight, then I'd say your weight issues were just simple math...calories in/calories out.

bindiya said...

Stellar post Lyn!

Trixie said...

Thank you for posting the reality of working on your weight. I agree, it's much better you work through everything rather than just loose. You will never know of all those you've helped by sharing your struggles.

Trixie

Nora said...

Thank you so much for this post! You are an inspiration!

I too have Binge Eating Disorder and this month has been really challenging for me as well. I binged, used food to cope, and gained back some of the 30lbs I had lost. Yesterday I decided it was time to go back to the eating disorder therapist. I was upset that it was time to return to that but after reading your post I know its not weakness but strength and "owning my power." Thank you.

You are a fantastic!! Keep up the great work.

Vickie said...

I have been thinking about this posting a lot.

Yes, I think there are bloggers that it is in our best interest to stop reading - for one reason or the other. I get that.

I personally ONLY read the blogs (like yours) where the person IS working on all the inner stuff.

(I get that you are working on weight loss too. I know that you are concerned about getting excess weight off your knees and I know you continue to work on your over all health.)

On my own side bar I have a note that says:
"There are over 1600 posts talking about all the odds and ends connected to weight loss and maintenance here on this blog. Somewhere long ago I wrote - if you think I have gotten off topic - look again - it is all sooooo inner-related."

Deniz said...

You say "See the progress, not just based on the scale, but on the essential changes that have occurred. I am a *new person.*"

Amen to that - fantastic post!

NutriAngel said...

It's so great you are doing all this by yourself. You are a great inspiration to those who constantly struggle with their health and weight.

Indeed, it is not about weight loss per se but how you grow as a person and what happens as a result of that.

Erin said...

I am incredibly impressed that you continued blogging while you gained weight (or had stopped losing weight). A lot of bloggers (almost all!) stop blogging when they stop dieting and/or losing weight. It is really frustrating because the two become linked, when really they probably need the positive reinforcement of blogging even more when they are struggling. I've really enjoyed watching you become healthier mentally.

I am a bit nervous for when your spouse moves home/visits. After you posted once about a particularly sabotage filled day, I did a little search of the words "husband" "spouse" etc in your blog and the months he's there always seem like your most difficult months.

Finally, most communities have sliding-scale therapy clinics where you pay (proportional to what you make and how many kids you have) very low fees @ $10-$20/session. If there is a school where people are being trained to be MSW, PhD, PsyD, etc in your area, then those schools almost certainly operate a small-fee clinic. Not everyone should be/can be their own therapist. And while these therapists are still students, you do get 2 for the price of 1 as all sessions are also closely supervised by an experienced therapist.

Anonymous said...

This is a very on-point posting. Losing weight successfully and maintaining that weight loss is not just going on a diet. It's about resolving the issues that led to your weighing more than you would like. Feeling out of control around food is a miserable way to experience life. You are on the right path, and I loved this post. Best, R

Vickie said...

Thank you so very much for this post. I am one of those binge eaters who has all but stopped blogging...and pretty much stopped reading other "weightloss" blogs as well. Something this morning drew me to read this post and I am inspired and motivated by what you said. Your words touched me deeply.

Coley said...

I completely agree. Last week I even wondered why I was blogging. My "weight loss" blog was hardly that. Then I realized i'm blogging my journey of addiction and moving forward in life with it - and it will be full of ups and downs, its my life experiences and the things I learn and can share. I definitely hear you, and I say Amen sista!

Rena--Museum Educator said...

Just wanted to say that I recently started reading your blog...but yours touches me more than most because I truly identify with you. Thanks for being so honest and for providing such a powerful connection. I'm at the beginning of my journey, but I want to "slay the dragon" myself. :) Thanks again...

Shauna said...

Fanboodtastic post. So beautifully said :) Rock on with your honesty!

Jessica Strong said...

Negative comments (be they hidden) only come from the fact that your blog is provocative enough to make us all care!

Such a great blog!

Anonymous said...

Lyn,
This is such interesting timing--I hadn't visited your blog in a while but I just thought of it today and came by. I was motivated not to see where your weight was at but where YOU were at...all the parts of you, not just numbers on the scale! Yes, I cheer for you when I see you are reaching your goal of the numbers getting smaller, but like others have said, I really love reading your blog because your honesty is so inspiring. Keep hanging in there!

Jane

Tammy said...

I still remember the Sunday night back in June of this year that my best friend Pam at Journey To The Healthier Side Of Life directed me to your blog, as an inspiration to start my own. I can't tell you what the post said...I can't rememeber...it was the amazing woman that wrote the post that caught my attention. I cried like a baby that night because I knew what I had to do...I had to figure out how to fight an addiction...and win. I started my own blog that very night, all because of you Lyn. There are no words to express my gratitude to you for that life-changing step. And I'm happy to be able to tell you that, as of last Friday's weigh-in, I am now exactly halfway to my goal....46 lbs down, 46 to go. But more importantly....no, MOST importantly....I'm facing and dealing with the very same issues that you are that led me to obesity in the first place. That really is what it's all about. I had no idea how much work it would be when I started, but man am I glad I got started. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you friend. Thank you.

Deborah said...

"but I am also better off than if I had "dieted" my way to 140 pounds WITHOUT doing the necessary emotional work. I am right where I need to be."

I think few people would go from 280 pounds to 140 pounds without having done the necessary emotional work. The fact that they did the emotional work is reflected in their weight loss.

Lyn said...

Deborah~

Oh I disagree. So many people have lost massive amounts of weight and then regained it exactly for this reason. Anyone can crack down, eat very low cal and exercise like a madman to lose weight. But, as we see in past Biggest Loser contestants who've regained the weight, as well as many others who regain. The missing key, I believe, in these regains is doing that emotional work to repair what it was that made the person morbidly obese in the first place.

Christy in Seattle said...

Hmmm. That's strange to me, someone saying that. Maybe she just over-identified with you? That can happen sometimes. What I look for in a blog is something that comes across as genuine, told with a little humor or wisdom or beauty or intelligence.

Hanlie said...

Oh absolutely! Whoever thinks that this is about weight, is missing the point completely. This is about overcoming.

I love your blog!

Lynne said...

I read your blog because it makes me realize I am not alone.
Thanks.

Susan said...

I popped by on a whim amd was about to congratulate Lyn on her wonderfully honest and beautifully written post, then I scrolled up and found this comment by Dinah Soar:

but you just wait..you'll find out that this older and hopefully wiser person knows whereof she speaks. Let's see where you are 10 years from now, 15 years, 20 years..if you've lost and stayed within 5-7 pounds of your goal weight, then I'd say your weight issues were just simple math...calories in/calories out.

I think that's a very negative way of looking at things. Obesity, particularly if the person has been obese for a very long time, is *never* a simple matter of math. Plus, it is possible to lose a lot of weight and work on the emotional issues at the same time and maintain that weight loss. To suggest otherwise is saying that regain is inevitable.

Anyway Lyn, you rock!

ctina said...

Hi Lyn -- I've been thinking about that comment and this post for a while.

I agree with the original poster that it is sad to watch ANYONE gain weight, once they have announced that they want to lose it.

The same as folks feel sad when a person announces that they want to be married, and yet year after year they are single.

The same as most of us want anyone who tries something to achieve whatever it is they want.

I agree that the poster was short-sighted, not understanding the HUGE strides you have made emotionally and mentally during this time.

To some, watching the struggle shames them. They feel pity for you. They cannot watch the tears. They look away.

They want a magic fix. They don't understand how hard it is to achieve a goal. That it is WORK.

I think the post came from a place of empathy, but unfortunately, not reality.

Thank you Lyn, for NEVER giving up!