Thursday, October 22, 2009

Rich Life

Another week has passed, another pound is gone. Today I weigh 235. That's 10 pounds so far this month. I am so happy and excited with my new lifestyle, which includes:

NO fast food
NO eating crap in the car
NO sitting in parking lots scarfing down junk
NO sodas
NO limping around in pain
NO self hatred

I love it. Whenever I change to a healthy lifestyle, I always wonder WHY I put it off for so long. It's definitely a different mindset. It feels like this:

Fat Me: I am so tired. I hate dieting. I don't want to move. I want to sit here and watch TV and surf the Internet all day. I don't have any energy to do anything. My house is a mess. I wish I had a maid. If I could find some kind of energy pill, I could clean the house. I could lose weight. Let's see, what can I do to lose weight? I think I'll Google "lose weight fast." Hmmm. Nothing new there. How about "lemonade diet"? Nah. I can't stick to it anyway. I want a pizza, I am gonna order one to be delivered so I don't have to move off this sofa. Maybe I will move, I want to go to the store and get some candy bars and chips. Oh and lasagna and garlic bread. I think I will start eating right on Monday. So I better think of all the foods I won't be able to have, and have them now. Ice cream, cake, pies, mozzarella sticks. Yeah. I will enjoy all my favorites this weekend and start on Monday. Maybe. I am just so tired and I hate vegetables. Why does my life suck so much?

Healthy Me: Wow, this is easy! This is great! I feel amazing. Why did I ever eat that nasty greasy sugary stuff anyway? These beet greens taste SO much better than pie! I can't wait for lunch, I am making leeks and asparagus. I would rather have that than a pizza ANY day. I have so much energy! The sun is shining, I really want to get out and take a walk in the beautiful fall weather. My body feels alive! The weight is dropping off, but I'd do this anyway. Life is so fantastic! I can't wait to wake up to a new day tomorrow.

Yeah, the old me wasn't very happy. But today I look around me and I see how very blessed I am. I have a wonderful life! I have a nice house in a happy, quiet neighborhood. I always have enough food to eat. And my biggest blessing, my five children. I am SO blessed to have them. Oh I remember when the doctor told me I would probably never have anymore after I lost a baby. I remember looking at my lone son and thinking... yes, I am so glad I have him, but I so wanted a big family! I didn't want to be an only child raising an only child. And now, I look back, and I see how rich my life is because of my children. Whenever anything else is going badly, I look at them and my heart just fills to bursting with love. When I hold my daughter and rock her at night, smell her sweet hair and feel her little arms around me, I am so happy, so grateful. And they deserve a mother who is active with them. I want to be around for a long, long time to see them grow... to love my grandchildren... to enjoy this rich life I have been blessed with. I'll take good care of myself, if only for that.

I visualize roller blading at the park with my kids next summer. I imagine going horseback riding and hiking with them. There are so many things we haven't done. It won't be long before my teens are off living their own lives and I want to create happy family memories with them NOW while they are still *all mine.* I love them so.

Life's rich, people. Richer than a piece of cheesecake or a chocolate truffle. Whatever YOU have been blessed with, it IS worth living. You might not be able to see it with your sugar-fogged mind, but it's there. Give it a chance! Eat healthy and take walks for a month and see all the beauty you've been missing. After all, if you don't like it and it isn't worth it, you can always go back to junk. Right?


Carly said...

Your positivity and motivation is so inspiring xx

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Lyn. I have two different modes of being as well with regard to food and exercise. They are like night and day. I'm stuck in fat-me mode right now. I can't seem to get out of it. You refound your inspiration recently. I still need to find mine.

Glad you're feeling go great and congrats on your loss!

Best wishes,
Bearfriend xx

Miss Felicity said...

Haha. I love everything you just said. Its so very true. Youre inspiring. Im happy to be following your blog. Today is my 6th day of my new life and although its a bit hard, and I feel like I will never be my goal weight- I know I can do it if I just KEEP ON TRYING~

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on 10 lbs! You're rocking this month!

I'm trying hard to make healthy choices, but I can't EVER imagine myself saying: "These beet greens taste SO much better than pie!" HAHA

Nope. Not a chance. :D

P.S. I love your blog.

dani31608 said...

My daughter seems to love horses more than breathing sometimes. Horseback riding with the kids is high on my list, too.

Congrats to you on your 10 pounds this month. That's great!

Diana said...

I love reading posts like this. Good for you Lyn, really. I'm happy for you.

And it's true. I definitely know what you're talking about, when it comes to those two different mindsets. It's so good to be alive.

Congrats on your loss and keep up the good work ;)

stephseef said...

holy cats, Lyn. You're amazing.

What a Splurge said...

I loved the Fat Me inner monologue. I think most of us can relate to having a voice inside that wants us to live our lives on the sofa all miserable and defeated. Good for you for putting a muzzle on Fat Me.

Chupsie said...

Your positivity is contagious! I love it! and congrats on the 10lbs this month, that amazing!

Theresa said...

beautiful beautiful beautiful! Sooooo happy you are turning the corner and seeing the sunshine! xoxox

Autumnforest said...

You're probably not aware of it, but you're doing a healthy cognitive exercise that gives you rational emotions instead of irrational ones. Usually, they say to put down a number from 1-10 of what joy you think an activity will bring like "Exercise 30 minutes today" You might put a "2" (doesn't sound like fun). Then, when you're done, you put the actual number it turned out to be "9" (I feel great!) So, eventually you learn new associations with exercise and eating right. You're doing that subconsciously and didn't realize it. Good for you! Congrats on the 10 pounds--that's major!

Anonymous said...

Do you ever get scared the feeling won't last? I've felt like how you're describing before (and loved it) but it always seems to fade and end and I'm back to the fat thinking. Seems like it's happened to you before too...what's making this time different? Are you sure it's different this time? I definitely hope it is, but am wondering how you know and how to be confident that this new positive life will stay...advice?

Anonymous said...

I have to admit, HillHilly's comment hits home. I'm feeling great right now, the weight is dropping, I'm enjoying my outdoor walks and yet part of me says that I've been here before and then slipped and slid back to "fat me". I don't want it to happen again.

However, I'm enjoying "thin me" thinking. And I keep thinking that this time, this time I can keep it up forever.

Rae at 24:01 A.M. said...

Write a book! You're amazing :)

Larkspur said...

It makes me happy to read about your happiness :)

Val said...

You are frakking amazing and I love everything you just wrote. Seriously-You rock!

Lyn said...


Wonderful point of discussion you make. Well, I know the "feeling" doesn't always last. A few days ago I felt kind of BLAH. I wasn't very excited and I wanted to sit in the house and veg out. But I stuck with it, I did it anyway. I think THAT is the key to not going back to the Fat Feelings. Once you sit down and binge, or eat a fast food meal, or half a pizza or whatever, it is a gazillion times harder to get back on track. So I guess for me, knowing that, I just fight myself NOT to take a step back towards that hellhole.

However I know I have an eating disorder and could fall back down at any time. It's hard. But I just FORCE myself the best I can, I say no to junk, I tell myself this is worth it. Minute by minute.

The feeling comes from the action.
Eat Junk = Fat Feelings
Eat Healthy & Exercise = Good Feelings
So we just gotta keep doing it.

Paula said...

Lyn, that was a very good post! I think maybe you were inside my head during some of the earlier conversations that I used to have with myself - boy, can I relate to that as I'm sure many can. ;) Super excited for you and your weight loss success - keep it up - you ARE amazing!

screwdestiny said...

Wow, ten pounds already, that's awesome! You're so right that life is much better when you're treating your body right.

Buttercup said...

I'm so happy for you :) I love reading your blog and cheering you on. Keep on going - this is a wonderful direction!

Jen in MN said...

I've been feeling the same way lately, Lyn. After dinking around for WAY too long, I'm now 5 months post-partum and getting my act together. I'm down 10 lbs and it amazes me how much better I feel already! I have a LONG (at least 80 lbs probably) way to go to get to a decently acceptable/healthy weight, but I just need to keep rolling my momentum forward. I motivate myself partly by remembering I'll have an active toddler next year! Good for you for moving things in the right direction.

Anonymous said...

You are doing soooo well!!! I know exactly where you are and where you have been. I have only one thing to say....IT ONLY GETS BETTER!!!!!!!!!! People who have always been thin take for granted doing things like walking into any store in the mall and just buying whatever you want. I am still in awe of doing it. You want to know one thing, that is probably realllly dumb, but it thrills me... I can now clip my cell phone on my belt and NOT have my fat rolls knock it off. That is probably so silly, but to me, it was a really "step up"

Keep up the great work! It is soooo worth it!

Amelia said...

I LOVE your blog!! I just started my own, and I am trying to find others who are also on a weight loss journey. Thanks - I am going to "follow" you. Inspiring!