Sunday, October 11, 2009

Bracing Myself

Someone I love very dearly may be going through a life-threatening medical issue tomorrow and this week. I pray it isn't so, but I am trying to brace myself for the possible emotional fallout. I believe that by maintaining control over my eating when nothing else seems controllable, I will feel more stable and balanced. In the past, I would freak out and use food to comfort me. I will not do it this time, even if it means crying for an hour instead of stuffing my feelings down with junk. I'd rather suffer real pain than numb myself and replace emotional agony with the lame agony of bad knees and fat thighs. I think I'd rather honor this person with my real emotions. He is worth that much.

In fact, I love him more than I love anyone in this world, besides my own children.

Let it be okay. I need this to be okay. Not because of weight or food or stupid binges. Because I need this person in my life.

20 comments:

Deb said...

I pray all will be well with your friend. {{{Lyn}}}

rachel said...

We will pray for you :( You are a very strong lady, Lyn. I have no doubt that you are able to handle anything that may happen. ((Hug))

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Lyn. Hope things go OK.

Thinking of you,
Bearfriend xx

bbubblyb said...

I said a prayer for your friend that he will be ok and one that you will be ok too. Hang in there. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

It's important to feel things, even when they hurt like hell. You are so right that drowning them only results in a different kind of misery.

I wish you strength.

Barb

Crabby McSlacker said...

Hope all is well--sending hugs. Take good care of yourself during this stressful time!

Georgia Mist said...

Prayers going up for your dear friend! And for you, too!

Federica said...

I will send positive toughts to both you and your dear friend Lyn!
I wish you all goes for the best
big hug

Federica

Mama Bear June said...

Will be praying. Just take whatever comes one step at a time. Sometimes what seems to be the worst thing ever is a gift from God.
Path to Health

Jolene - EverydayFoodie said...

I hope that all goes well with your friend. Stay strong.

Sarah said...

Delurking to let you know I am thinking of you. Hugs.

Tammy said...

I'll be praying fervently for your loved one, and that your choices remain stable through it all. :)

Rae at 24:01 A.M. said...

I will be praying for your friend, Lyn. I hope everything goes well! :)

Continue to be strong..for all of us who care.

screwdestiny said...

I'll be praying that everything turns out okay.

Anonymous said...

Yes, you'll be weakened if you succumb to eating as a way of helping you cope with stressful and worrying times. Having said that, haven't we all used food as a comfort in troubles times??

I really hope all goes well for your special man.

Best wishes

Melissa said...

i will be thinking of & praying for you (& HIM) this week!

Salted with Shadows said...

Will be thinking of you and your friend and wishing you both strength. {{{}}}}

Chibi Jeebs said...

You are both in my thoughts. *hugs*

spunkysuzi said...

You and your friend are in my thoughts and prayers!

Jennifer said...

I hope all turns out well for your friend, Lyn. You are allowed to feel bad, so definitely give yourself permission for that. Once you let it out, you can let good stuff in. You're in my thoughts & prayers as well. Big hugs!!