Friday, July 10, 2009

Moving Along...

Wow, so many wonderful, amazing, supportive comments came in yesterday from you guys! It really touched me and did help me veer back on course. How could I go to Dairy Queen with so many people rooting for me to succeed?? I couldn't. Thank you.

I did a little better yesterday. My food choices were less than stellar, but far less quantity calorie-wise:

Breakfast: Chai tea and a whole fresh mango
Midmorning: sugar free iced coffee
Lunch: 1 hot dog on a bun w/ketchup & mustard, 1/2 of a small iced mocha
Dinner: slice of whole wheat bread with natural almond butter and low sugar strawberry jam, and a smoothie made from orange juice, low fat milk, ice, and 1/2 c ice cream
Evening: small slice of carrot cake

This was only about 1600 calories total, which is the least amount of food I have eaten this week. I went to bed hungry for the first time in ages. So it was a start, although not great nutrition wise it was enough to see the scale go back down a bit this morning. I am so unfocused right now that my food intake may not always be the greatest, but the least I can do is keep it under 1800 calories a day.

I am totally not getting enough sleep. I could make it on five hours when I was in my teens and 20's, but I am coming up on 40 and to be honest, I just don't function well on less than 7-8 hours anymore. We 'old folks' need our rest! I have been trying to get to bed earlier (before 11) because sleeping in is not an option (kids). Getting up earlier to exercise would be, I think, counterproductive at this point. I believe I would lose weight better if I got enough sleep. The exercise has to come sometime in my already-waking hours.

I wanted to give a little peek into my life, here, for a minute. I think sometimes people don't realize that I am *really* active most days, to the point of exhaustion. Suggestions that I be more active make me think I haven't really explained this part of my life, so let me share! Almost every day... probably 6 days a week... I *do* walk my kids to the park to play. This is something I could not do 2 years ago, and I used to cry because I was 37 and had a little girl who I physically could NOT walk to the park just a couple of blocks away! It was so shameful to me. But as soon as I built up the endurance and lost enough weight to make it there, I kept the habit. So except for winter, I am out there walking to the park. I also am responsible for all the yardwork. I do get lots of help from my 2 boys who are home right now; they mow and weed whack and help with other tasks, but I am out there working a lot. Plus the housework.

Lemme give you yesterday. I was up early, then out shopping and running errands for a couple of hours. Walking through large warehouse stores, getting a child in and out of the car, taking her to gymnastics. It was pretty busy. Came home and cleaned. I live in a house where the laundry room is on a separate floor from the kitchen, and to go outside you have to take a dozen stairs. So I get lots of stair action each day. I vacuumed and dusted and did dishes. I was sweating when I got done. Then it was off to the kids' swimming lessons which involves walking up and down a steep hill from the parking lot. When we got home, we ate, and then out the door we went to do yardwork. We pulled weeds and picked up the yard and I washed the front of the house and the porch. Again, I was sweating when I was done. And limping, from being on my feet all day. By 9 I had come back in and gotten my daughter to bed, and then had to take the stairs a few more times for laundry. Evening was spent making birthday plans, phone calls, sorting paperwork, etc.

So you see, I am already active and busy. When I say I have a hard time fitting in "exercise," I mean that in between all this, for me to try and hop on the bike for 30 minutes is difficult for me. I am physically limited by my knees, and I am just plain busy. By 9pm when I *could* exercise, I am totally wiped out and limping (in case you haven't read, I have severe degenerative arthritis and need knee replacements, and it is frankly a miracle I am functioning as well as I am). Not making an excuse here. Just sayin. Sometimes ya gotta stop. So the exercise has to come early in the day unless I have a *slow* day without being on my feet a lot.

Speaking of being on my feet... about the blogging. More than once, folks have suggested that I'd have time to bike or whatever if I didn't blog. Well, that's not really true. Because of the nature of my joint disease, I physically *have* to sit down and take breaks off my feet several times throughout the day. And when I sit down for breaks I do things like: pay bills, read to my child, play Play Doh, and BLOG. Those are the times I sit down and write, or read other people's blogs. When I am in between activity. I physically *could not* take that time to exercise, because I would end up on crutches. I have to be careful with the knees. And oh, by the way, I *love* my blog. It keeps my sanity. It helps me get things out of my head and discover more about what I need to change. And that's important to me. So I'm not gonna stop blogging anytime soon. What I *have* let go is the emails. I used to answer every single email I got (which is a lot of email). But for the past couple of months I have hardly answered any. I apologise for this. Really. I read every one, and they mean so much to me. But a lot of emails are sitting in my inbox unanswered because *something* had to give. It would take me about 4 hours to answer them all now, so that's something that I have to peck away at. One here, one there. I'm sorry if you wrote to me and felt sad when I didn't answer. Just know that I *did* read it, and feel it, but had to jump up and tend a kid or pull weeds or make dinner and let the answering slide. In the winter I have more time online. For now, I'm just swamped.

So... I feel like I am on the right track now. We have a lot going on this weekend, and the husband is leaving again. I do have a fun vacation planned with the kids, and I am super excited about that! Hoping for lots of hiking, lots of picnicking on the road and lots of happy memories!

Bird pictures later... have to go get some work done!


beerab said...

Wow girl your day is slammed.

I don't know what your financial sitution is- but is it possible to spring for someone to do the gardening for you? That might give you back a bit of your time? Me personally I don't take care of my yard lol! We are in a drought anyways so I don't water anymore lol.

HugeMD said...

Hey, getting back on track. Not getting discouraged. That's what it's all about. Way to go!

spunkysuzi said...

I am just so proud of you "hugs"

Carol said...

Lynn, You might not want to publish this comment because it might seem harsh. But know that I do not intend it to be that way. I can see that you are very busy and do not sit on the couch all day. But I think you are in denial as to how much exercise you are actually getting by these daily activities. The proof is on the scale. You need cardio exercise and although you might break a sweat in doing the daily stuff, it it probably just further evidence that your body is struggling with the weight, not that you're getting quality exercise. You have a huge support on the Internet. Don't use that to enable yourself into believing that you are not denying your children a healthy mother. I hear you trying to justify your actions in your post. I think that the best thing you can do is be brutally honest with yourself. Although your weight situation is on the top (or near the top) of you list of concerns, it is quite a way down on the list of things to do anything about. I'm sorry you will find these words harsh but I think sometimes we all need a reality check. We are all responsible for the choices we make. Sometimes we choose to be a victim of our own choices. Again, good luck to you.

Andra said...

Don't give up blogging! For you or for your readers. Blogging is the reason I was able to take accountability for my unhealthy habits and make changes that are sticking. I love blogging, it's made me a healthier, happier person. I wish you luck and look forward to reading plenty more of your heartfelt posts.

Camevil said...

Carol's post contains some deeply thoughtful words, and is probably the kindest, honest comment that I've seen here these last couple of days.

Man, when I was 250+, I would sweat just walking from one room to the other. Just going up one flight of stairs felt like a workout. Shoot, I can talk all day about what it was like to be down in the obesity pit. I used to complain all the time about being fat and how hard it was to lose. But it didn't motivate just made it easier for me to stay obese.

As one woman who lost 200+ pounds said on a TV morning show a week or so ago, you won't lose weight if you continuously focus on the struggle. Rather, the key is to stay focused on the goal.

And when you have no focus, any excuse or interruption will make weight loss a struggle. When you have focus, day to day things that we all have to do (cleaning, work, family matters, shopping, etc.) become less of an obstacle and it is no longer a "struggle" to fit in, say, 30 minutes on the bike.

I hope you regain your focus. And throw out those hotdogs and desserts. :-)

Megan said...

You go girl.

Lisa said...

Good job staying on track~!

EbonyRenee said...

I am going to have to agree with Carol and Camevil. The activities you are doing, should not amount to your daily workouts. Sleeping in unil 11am is too much sleep. You could try to start by waking up 30minutes early, and just walk around the house if you dont want to go outside. Anything will help. Think of how thin you had gotten and all of the hard work it took to get you there. You have to work for what you want. We are all proud of what you accomplished. You can do it!

anne h said...

I say, GO ON! You can always take a break later. JUST FOR THIS ONE DAY, stay on track. You'll look back later and be glad you did!
Choose and stay focused. If you mess up, choose again!

NewMe said...

OK, I'm NOT going to tell you that you're not really exercising. As someone who has knee and hip arthritis, I know how difficult it is to do the exercise without making the arthritis worse.

If I haven't suggested this already, have you thought about buying "sleeves" for your knees? They cost about $20 each and can really give you that little bit of extra support that you need. They shouldn't be worn all the time, but certainly if you're out walking they can be very helpful.

And EbonyRenee: where did Lyn say she was getting up at 11 a.m.?

Lyn, if you can cut down the junk (and you did yesterday!) and up the fruits and veg, you'll make significant progress.

One step forward, bit by bit you will make it. You've got an enormous amount on your plate with 5 kids. Every little thing you do makes a difference.

Hugs again.

cmoursler said...

I find protien really helps keep me full. And yep, I would ditch the kids lessons till I got in shape. I bet your kids would rather see you healthy than go to lessons. I used to drive my kids tither and yon, so i asked myself. Do I want to see my kid get a green belt that she'll never use, or do I want to see her get married someday. I do housework all day long as well,I homeschool and am our troops girl scout leader. None of it gets the weight off. I have arthritis as well, and last night I was in so much pain...hips, ribs and elbows knees etc. Itook alieve and went to bed. I did go for my three mile walk first. Somedays I wish I had a pool or something. Keep up the struggle,

Chubby Chick said...

Yay! I'm so happy you are feeling better and are getting back on track! I knew you could... and would... do it!

I would definitely make sleep a top priority if I were you! It sounds like getting more sleep rather than fitting in "exercise" would be more beneficial to your health at this point.

And... you really are quite active! You are burning calories every day... so don't feel guilty about not getting in a workout! Sounds to me like you're already working out!

I'd just focus on the food/calories for now. That is something that you can control every day... and your body will definitely respond and the results will show up on the scale.

And... blogging has been one of the biggest factors in me not weighing over 400 pounds right now. A lot of the reason that I've been overweight my entire life are emotional reasons. And being able to get things out in the open on my blog has helped me deal with emotional eating to an extent that I never would have imagined. So... keep blogging! It is definitely an excellent tool for weight loss!


Anonymous said...

heres a study done on insulin vs growth hormone. my favorite part is how he describes that when you go low calorie, but dont control insulin, then the protective hormonal responses that keep your body from eating aminos from muscles and organs never gets engaged. low cal plus high insulin is a disaster that puts people on a exhausted, tortured roller coaster.

when you go low cal but keep insulin in check you retain all muscle mass, organ viability, and keep growth hormone flowing, + epinephren, glucogon ect. these up protein synthesis and illicite fat burning instead of sugar burning.

not trying to diagnose you, just feel so much of your expressions of struggle reflex what these studies have beared out. for some people,a simple piece of whole grain toast can shut down all hope of true fat burning and energy flow.

hope you enjoy this!

Rebecca said...

Hi, I've never commented here before, but as I was reading I could really identify with the knee pain you're having. I also feel slowed down by knee pain and I have found that working out in the pool helps~whether it's water aerobics or doing fast as possible walking laps in the pool to get my heart rate up without the strain on the knee. Give it a try. Keep going!

teebopop said...

I just wanted to say that you shouldn't have to explain yourself to the blogging world about what you do or don't do every day.

You don't need to apologize for anything.

No one is standing in your shoes but you.

And (as my doc once told me) the AMA says it is actually more beneficial to an overweight woman to get more solid hours of sleep at night than it is to spend 20 minutes of cardio.

Why? Because sleep is when the body takes a time out and restores your energy levels. I'm not making this up.

I know that I always feel so much better when I put in a solid night's sleep of at least 8 hours.

I don't seem to drag at the end of the day.

I love reading your blog.

Anonymous said...

As it was already suggested, if you feel like you don't have enough time to exercise or your knees are giving you problems, then you need to concentrate on your diet and not let it slip. If you were exercising regularly, you could spring for a little treat now and then but you really have to pick a diet plan you like and stick with it. They say that 80% of weight loss is diet so once you get that down, you will be well on your way!

I am currently in the process of losing body fat so my diet has to be really, really strict. If I can do it, you sure as heck can!

Lyn said...

Wow, interesting comments! Let's see...


I can't afford a gardener but I can afford to pay my boys to to some of the work. I do that sometimes and it helps.


I don't mind your comment, it doesn't seem too harsh to me, especially since you had the guts to sign your name to it! It helps to know where the insight is coming from. But maybe you missed my point, which was not that I do not *need* cardio or other exercise... but that I am having a hard time fitting it in without injuring myself in the process. I do think I need to bike and to also strength train to be successful long term with this.


don't worry! I didn't buy a pack of hot dogs! If I had I think I would've eaten 4 or 5. Instead I got one for $2 at a hot dog stand. Built-in portion control. And the birthday cake is gone :)


Yeah, I think you misread something. I have never slept in til 11am in my life unless I was working graveyard shift! If I got to sleep til 7am I'd be in heaven. Five hours is just not enough sleep for me.


I actually did go out and buy what I *think* you mean by sleeves... kind of a black, stretchy support thing that goes over the knees? Is that what you meant? As embarrassing as this is, I bought the largest possible size in the store and they were so tight they were strangling my leg, literally. I could hardly bend. I have fat knees, what can I say? I might need to special order them or something.


Thank you. I appreciate that. In fact, if readers knew some of the things I am dealing with that I do *not* blog about, they'd have a different opinion about some things, for sure. But some things are to private to share right now, so people make assumptions based on just what they know. I appreciate it when people are positive and supportive! Kind suggestions always welcomed, but judgements are best left at the door.

Thanks all for the support! Doing good so far today.

Laine said...

Have you ever visited a nutritionist to have her review what you are eating, what you are doing to movement throughout the day, and exercise to make sure you are fueling your body properly?

Sometimes an outside view can be really eye opening, and give us information that we never even considered.

seattlerunnergirl said...

Lyn, I wanted to say that although I may have moments where I react to your posts w/ tough love "instincts," I so very much appreciate your honesty and your blog in general. I'm so glad you're not giving up the blog.

I think a lot of what I struggle with is living in balance. As a single woman with no kids, I'm sure the busy moms out there want to either laugh out loud or kick me for saying that! I realize it only gets more difficult as you add new things (husbands, kids, etc.) to your life.

My advice to you is this:

1. Do what you can, when you can. But be honest with yourself about what that is. And really commit to DO it.

2. Be kind to yourself. When you struggle or even fail (because let's face it, we all have moments of failure, let's call it what it is), commit to treating yourself as you would a dear friend. Do we verbally abuse our friends? No. Then why is it okay to do it to ourselves?

3. Challenge yourself in a big way at least once a day. Maybe one day that means no sugar. Or no eating processed foods. Or getting on the bike for 15 minutes instead of cleaning the bathroom. Get in the habit of challenging yourself, and it will become easier over time. Until you make the challenges harder! :)

Most of all - KEEP IT UP, KEEP GOING! You can do this, you inspire others to do it, so never ever quit. THAT is the definition of success.

Be well.

madison said...

I've only recently started reading your blog and this is the first time I've commented.
I can totally relate to all the stuff you do all day long because I do all those things during the day as well, expecially during the warmer months.
I know when you do house work and yard work, etc you are buring calories. Supposedly, not enough. Not so sure I believe that myself. For all that I do, the weight just doesn't come off. Watching what I eat seems to be the only way the weight comes off. The more I exercise, the less I lose.
I'm trying really hard not to get hung up on the number on the scale because it really is just a number and I shouldn't let it dictate how I feel about myself and neither should you. You are taking the right steps to make yourself healtheir and in the long run that's the better choice. Everyone has an off day, it's the realizing it and getting back on track and keeping at it that counts.

Anonymous said...

I , too agree that you don't have to expain anything to the readers of your BLOG. Why? Do you know them? Are they keeping you accountable? Who are they? Do you know what they are doing in their HOUSES? I should think not. Some people encourage, some people KNOW everything. Some people just want to read what you have to say.
Listen, ANYONE can say they are losing weight but until you see "update" pics of them, assume they are just writing a blog. Anywho, Lyn. Just be you. Do you know who that is right now? Maybe that is where you need to begin. Start from the start with finding you and then work in the outer shell.
best wishes to you!

Vickie said...

I think this posting (that you just wrote) was a very kind and diplomatic response to all the people that suggested 'fixes' for you. I liked how you tackled each and every one. I would like to applaud you for NOT answering e-mails. I am sure there are some topics that you then cover in a blog posting. But you cannot begin to take up correspondance with all the people that read your blog. And any encouragement or answers that they are looking for (for themselves) they can find by reading your blog postings.

Vickie said...

will they let you get in the deep end of the pool and tread water while the kids are at their lessons? I had one pool manager that allowed me to swim laps while the kids were in lessons.

NewMe said...

Hi Lyn-
Sorry to hear that the sleeves are too small. I feared that might be the case. I too have what I like to call "puffy" knees and even though I weigh less than you and am probably a lot shorter, it's been hard to find a size that doesn't cut off the circulation.

I just googled "tensor knee brace" and there's a whole variety of sizes and styles. I suggest something that has a hole right at the kneecap and flexible metal stays on each side to help the knee "track" properly. Keep looking!

I think I'll be blogging soon about weight loss for persons who are somewhat disabled. It's a whole different ballgame. I'll keep you posted.

South Beach Steve said...

Lyn, I am glad to hear you had a better day. I don't fault you at all for blogging. In fact, I think it is an important part of my journey, and I suspect you are the same. Good luck on your continued, daily success.

ShredFail said...

I'm tired just reading about your day!

And blogging is free therapy in my opinion so it is healthy. You shouldn't feel the need to defend yourself or your actions there.

Thealogian said...

Lynn, thanks as always for your honesty and insight!

I gotta say, some of the commenters here seem to have reading comprehension problems, waking at 11am too much sleep? Uh, she said that she wakes up at 6am and goes to bed at 1am--NOT A ENOUGH SLEEP BY FAR. Here's a link to a study by Ohio State U about the relationship between insulin resistance and sleep deprivation:

This is a serious problem and women who constantly sacrifice their health for others (here I am not indicting you, but rather the culture of self-sacrifice foisted upon women in general, see "Proverbs of Ashes" a book that examines domestic violence in relationship to bad theologies that pervade our culture on the merits of women sacrificing everything for others...its relevant beyond domestic violence survivors because it really gets at the roots of self-denial as a false good and I recommend it to you and all women suffering from this negative feedback loop).

Don't stop blogging, but at the same time don't let the blog consume you and having a general no email response policy will help--you can respond if you want via the comments like you've been doing, but feeding the beast of MORE OBLIGATIONS, even to well meaning readers, is not helping you (or them, if its that serious they need to speak to a shrink/doctor/minister/rabbi.)

One idea not yet proffered: since you have serious joint issues and you are taking your kids to swim lessons, why not do laps during their lessons? You don't even need a full lap lane to accomplish a good work out in the pool while they are there--you can jog in place, do arm exercises, leg extensions, etc. all within a three foot radius at the other end of the pool while the kids get their lessons. Now, this might be something you dread as a suggestion because of body image, but seriously, do you care more about your health or the opinions of strangers? I choose health and where I swim for free is the pool at the university I work out, so most other people there are hard bodies.

Okay, here's another thing to think about (I'm sorry this comment is now like a post in of itself), but is your standard of house-cleaning too high? There was a great thread over at Pandagon (

about housecleaning and I learned in the comments that some people mopped the kitchen floors everyday. The comments were really enlightening as to how others manage their households, etc. But an important theme in the discussion is how perfection is a prison. So, if you area stay at home mother who has to manage the household, yard, do errands, cook, clean etc. such that you only get 5 hours to sleep per day, I gotta wonder: what are your expectations and how might they contribute to such a time crunch?

I wish you well, sorry for such a ridiculously long comment!


Anonymous said...

Just passing some info-maynotbe the same in your case, but I found it interesting. I had a gowearfit for a while. I found that on days that I was busy, on my feet, running around all day, I burned significantly more calories then days when I had a solid workout but did little else.
Anyway, don't knock yourself out or if you can't get to the 'official' exercise don't throw in the towel. Focus on your diet, acknowledge that that's what you have the most control over now and let it go. Many people lose weight without exercise. Ofcourse its not ideal, there's always a better way. But if you do right now what you are able to do 100%- you will see results.

Anonymous said...

Lyn - I feel your pain with the struggle of staying focused. I don't anything about anyone else that left a comment. But as a person who has struggle with being oveweight all of my teenage and adult life, I understand.
Sometimes I get frustrated when I see you have gone back to eating junk. Not because I want to control what you do, but because it scares the h*** out of me.
As humans, we deal with many fears about things, and being able to lose weight and keep it off is no different. When I read about your success in losing 60 pounds, it gave me hope. When I read about you gaining back 25 of it, it scares me.
The "fat girl" says...seee! she can't do it and neither can you. How many people do you know that have lose the weight and kept it off without having weightloss surgery? (I know several who have and still gained a huge portion back)
Well....the "Fit Girl: says to CAN DO and so can Lyn! Yes, it is hard work, yes, it is for the rest of your life....BIG DEAL!
Do we clean our house and expect to never have to do it again? Or take a shower so we never have to have another one? NO! We "accept" that we will have to deal with these things for the rest of our life.
So I believe your success and minelies in us accepting that we are a work in progress, whether it takes us a year or five years, we will continue to overcome our obstacles, create better habits and continue to lose weight pound by pound.
Hang in there!

On a side note - you are on the right track about getting at least 7 or 8 hours sleep each night. I am 48 and I have to have at least 7hours to function as I should.
One more thing -I have written before aboout sugar - try and cut it out of your diet. In time, you will be amazed how the cravings are less and less because you are keeping your insulin levels in check.
Sorry for the very LONG post, but I felt so full this morning.


Anonymous said...

If you can't physically do anymore activity then you are currently doing. That's fine and I'm sure you'll work through that.
The other day you were saying that you didn't know *what* to sacrific to have the time. "Do I tell my child I can't take him for new glasses".
I think it was statements like that that prompted a bunch of suggestions to take a break from the blog, computer, etc.

Trish said...

Hi Lyn, I don't comment often, but I really enjoy your blog! It's great that you are back on track!

I also want to say something to two of the commenters on your previous post. Katie, who said her child is dealing with her illness and incapacitaion and to "choose your hard," and Patty, who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Your comments to Lyn touched me deeply. I'm tired of living in terror of what this weight is doing to me, and tired of living half a life. I've got a husband and 4 year old who deserve better, and I deserve better. You've inspired me to start again.

May God bless us all on this journey, and extra hugs and prayers to you Patty on your recent diagnosis. ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

Hi Lyn,

I've been reading your blog for some time now, and I've identified with your struggles. I weigh 270 pounds and I've lost and gained back the same 20 (so even though I was once 290, I'm *still* 270) pounds. It's hard, and so far, it hasn't gotten any easier. I am a binge eater, and it sucks. This is not me being preachy or harsh, this is me saying what I have found to be true for me. This is actually something that I wrote for myself and posted in my food/weight loss journal, so please don't think I am writing it directly to you, I am just copying + pasting:

GET THE JUNK OUT OF THE HOUSE. Don't let anyone else (kids, parents, brother, sister, aunt, uncle) have it if you wouldn't eat it yourself. If people can't be supportive of what you are trying to do, forget them. There is no need for people to eat certain foods, so offer them healthy alternatives instead. When crap is in the, you are more likely to binge. Realize that drive-thru's are a waste of money, and also heart attacks waiting to happen. Don't say things like "oh, a french fry or a cheeseburger here or there won't hurt you" because IT WILL. Artificial foods, transfats, artery clogging JUNK is what it all is. Also, wasting $5-6 is not helping your budget or bank account. Stop making excuses when it comes to exercise. Working out sucks, and sometimes it hurts. Achey knees, ankles, muscles, etc. Find something that doesn't require you to use that certain body part. Research different workout DVD's, fitness centers, find access to a pool. Get your heart rate up for 30 solid minutes a day. Do yoga, bicycle, lift weights, do SOMETHING. Remind yourself with post-its on the mirror. Remember, after all, that you are WORTH IT. And finally, STOP WEIGHING YOURSELF DAILY. All that does is cause drama, tears, heartache, regret and fear. Things will fluctuate daily like water weight, bloating, whether you have gone the bathroom, what you ate the day before, etc. Remember that daily weight can fluctuate anywhere from 1-8 pounds. Weigh yourself once a week, naked, after going the bathroom in the morning. I know it's hard to not get on the scale every single day because it's *THERE* but you have to hide it.

Anyway, I know that every person is different, but it seems that we have struggled with so many of the same things. Again, I have been reading for a long time but this is my first comment. I'm sorry it's anonymous. I wish you nothing but the best, and I know that you are trying and we just all want you to succeed and be happy and truly love yourself.

Jenn said...

Hmmm...if that is a typical day for you, I would say you're doing a lot of activity! Why not focus on your eating right now, and then see later on if you can fit more activity in? Maybe if you're weight goes down your knee won't be so bad?
And I think blogging is an essential part of this process, so I wouldn't give it up! There is the whole emotional / mental part of losing weight that can't be ignored, and I find blogging is a great way of dealing with those issues.

Valerie said...

I know of a number of people that have lost (and kept off or regained) 100+ lbs. Not a single one of them would rate exercise as more than an adjunct to their food plan for weight loss purposes. Sure, it's healthy and fulfilling and good for my mental health and an integral part of weight loss "maintenance" for most, but it's not a prerequisite for weight loss *at all*.

Lose the guilt over not exercising.

Weight loss is about what we eat.

And I hate "comment advice", it's usually a riff on "this worked for me, so it must be true for everyone in the whole world, so you should be doing what I did..", so instead, I'll tell you to keep blogging, keep working at it, don't give up and that I'm sure you'll figure out your answers soon. You are working far too hard and being far too persistent not to figure it out soon.

Anonymous said...

I have read all of your blog posts. You are an excellent writer and I appreciate reading about your binging, as it is something I have struggled with for the last fifteen years.

That being said, I notice that you are eating different foods now than you were when you were on a good downward trend.

It has been enlightening for me (and my own issues with binging and eating junk) to watch your stuggle. I appreciate that you have been able to be so honest about all aspects of losing and gaining some of it back. I think most of us KNOW how to lose weight. But reading your blog has really shown me how the poor choices I make contribute to further poor choices. Example: High glycemic breakfast leading to a day that was a maintain or even a gain.

Like you, I LOVE vegetables. I eat fruit and vegetables and wonder why I have so much trouble when I love healthy food. Normally lack of preparation (time)or availability in the house has prevented me from making wiser choices. It is so much easier to make a bowl of cereal, than it is to have a bit of fruit and protein in the mornings.

I used to have guilt issues about forcing my husband to eat healthy food, then falling off my diet, gaining it back, then forcing him to go without again. The truth is though, some of us, if left to our own 1st choices with food would be bed bound by our appetites if we did not continue to fight the long fight. And so if we have times of successful dieting, followed by periods of regain... at least we are maintaining at a lower weight than we would if we quit trying. This is my struggle. I will think about wanting to eat more than I can EVERY SINGLE DAY for the rest of my life. Some days I will fail. Some days I will succeed.

Setting myself up to succeed as much as I can is the only answer. I wish you strength. It is a hard never ending struggle, than few people understand. It is worth it. You are worth it.


Anonymous said...

Lyn, you had a diet and exercise plan that fit your family life and your issues with you knees. It worked and you lost 60 pounds with it.

None of us know the details of your life, so naturally we can't prescribe the perfect plan for you. But we don't have to because you already have it!

Why not go right back to your tried-and-true plan that worked so well for so long?

A year from now, you can be at your goal weight. Or you can weigh 300 pounds. The choice is up to you and we're all rooting for you!!

NewMe said...

Lyn - You inspired me to write a post about exercise, disability and weight loss. Drop by if you have the time.

susie said...

Thank you for sharing your struggle - I connect and commiserate with everything you say. You continue to be an inspiration no matter what the weight. I am currently the biggest I have ever been-I seem to have a disconnect between who I am and who I want to be. I guess all we can do is keep plugging along.

Anonymous said...

thanks you Trish for your kind words... I'm terribly frightened by my recent diagnosis of breast cancer and uncertainty of the road ahead. i appreciate any and all prayers coming my way. God bless you as well.

moonduster said...

I'm glad you're not giving up blogging! Besides, I think writing about our journey helps to keep us focused on it.

I keep thinking of suggesting something to you about your calorie counting, but then I forget when I'm commenting. I remembered this time so here it is.

I try to only consume 1,200 to 1,550 calories a day with one exception - I NEVER count the calories in fruit and vegetables (with a few exceptions like avacado and such). It encourages me to eat more fruit and veg, and it's working for me (109 lbs down so far).

So, I can have a giant bowl full of raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, cherries, melon and strawberries, pour a 100 calorie fat free vanilla yogurt over it all, and I still only count it as 100 calories.

Mary said...


You seem to be up on a lot of exercise trends, etc., so you may already know about this, or you may have deemed it incompatible with your arthritis, but I thought I'd mention it as a potential exercise time-saver.

Have you tried HIIT (high intensity interval training)? Google for even more info, of course.

You can get a decent cardio workout in for around 15 minutes, and can use your exercise bike.

You may see even more results than you were with 30 min of steady-state cardio.

I don't know what kind of arthritis you have, but the kind my husband has, he noticed that his pain is drastically reduced if he exercises every day.

I hate to think of you being in almost-constant pain.