Thursday, July 9, 2009

Eyes Open

So this morning, I stepped on the scale and to my horror (but not surprise) it said 245. This is the hell I didn't want to relive. This is what I have gone through over and over, every single time I lost weight in the past. And one that is common from what I've seen in the blogosphere. Lose weight, gain it back. Mine has been coming back very slowly, WITH a battle (because honestly, if I'd just given up 6 months ago I would be well over 300 pounds right now. I am not kidding). But the inching upwards of the scale is, I have to believe, something within my control. Something I can stop. That I have to stop.

If you have never lost a good chunk of weight and then regained it, let me tell you something. It is absolutely terrible to go through emotionally. The exhilaration of the loss is suddenly replaced by the feeling of spiraling out of control. Looking at the scale is a nightmare. Seeing one's body explode into fatness again is devastating. "Why why why??" resonates in your head every day. It's terribly painful and induces a lot of guilt feelings and little bouts of determination surrounded by drowning one's sorrow in donuts.

When I regained weight before after a loss, it was always *very* rapid. I'd take 6 months to lose 30 pounds and then regain it all plus 5 in under 2 months time. That's what happens when you go from eating a healthy, moderate intake to binge eating 5000 calories a day. This time, I haven't been bingeing, so the regain has been slow... and my efforts to re-lose have worked *somewhat* as my weight fluctuates down 5 or 7 pounds every so often. But because I haven't sustained the effort it takes to *lose*, the overall trend has been UP.

I think about how crazy busy I have been lately that I have not taken the time to exercise. How I am up before 6 every day and don't get to sleep until 1am because I am doing other things that just *have* to be done. And yet I am still behind. I try to figure out *what* to sacrifice so I can find time for *me*... do I tell my son I don't have time to take him for new glasses? Or maybe I should make my kids skip their dental appointments? Do I stop reading bedtime stories to my daughter or maybe quit making breakfast for the kids? What about the cars needing oil changes or tire rotations or the weeds that need to be pulled? Birthdays, holidays, sick pets, a gutted bathroom, carpet stains, swimming lessons, playtime at the park. It runs together and at the end of every whirlwind day I wonder where the time went. Having 5 kids is a true blessing but a lot of work and time. Yet I know I have to lose weight to be around and healthy for them.

One thing I gave up to lose weight was my hobby of baking. I am a darn good cook, and I used to bake 3 or 4 times a week! Sure, I can bake "healthier" versions, but with baking, it's not really the same nor as fulfilling as making the versions I'd perfected over time. And I tend to binge on baked stuff, even if it IS healthier, so I just don't bake. Except on birthdays:

Yeah. I had 2 small pieces of my homemade carrot cake. Enough to gain a couple of pounds overnight? Nah, not really, but the rest of the poor eating choices all week led to that gain I saw on the scale this morning.

As I told a friend today, I am done. Enough with the gains. I get this crazy feeling in my head sometimes that I *have* to eat junk. NEED it. Right now or I will just DIE. And it's at those times that I am going to have to white knuckle it and just say NO to myself. I would rather claw my eyes out than eat my way back up one more pound.

Baby robins, 7/7, five days old. Eyes are open. So are mine.
Babies, 6 days old:

51 comments:

Vickie said...

hugs

Tami said...

"drowning one's sorrow in donuts"
Now THAT is a comment that I can totally relate to.

I've lost weight and gained it a few times and I know those awful feelings and thoughts too well.

Losing weight AND keeping if off is a huge struggle. 2 steps forward, 1 step back.Sometimes even 4 steps back.

I know you can do it! Be patient and loving with yourself.

3FC Sue said...

How about using the time you spend writing about not having time to exercise -- to exercise? :)

You can do this, Lyn! Turn it around right here, right now, today! We all have busy lives. We all have the same 168 hours in a week. We all take the time to do the things that are important to us. If you make exercise and healthy eating a priority, you WILL have time for them.

Perhaps your #1 goal should be to halt the regain and not worry about losing at this point? Just maintain. Just keep the scale from going up any more. You can worry about losing later.

Anonymous said...

I'm a first time commenter but long time reader here. I know the frustration you speak of. For me, even though there are lots of complicated *issues* behind the weight, the number on the scale does boil down to something extremely simple. For me, good health is a perk of weight loss, but in my heart of hearts I know that looking good is the ultimate goal. Looking good and the freedom that comes with that is such a good feeling that sometimes it rivals the good feelings that food can give. During the times that "looking good" seems more alluring to me than the food does, I can make the right choices and look ahead to my goal with a smile. But on other days, nothing seems to beat the high of feel-good foods. On the days when I care less about how I look, I'll make bad food choices. A few times in my life I've cared about my looks enough to make good choices day after day until I've reached my goal. I've gained the weight back during 4 pregnancies. The older I get, the harder it is to be motivated by looking good, when I was younger it seemed of the utmost importance that I look as good as other girls my age, even those in the media. But now, it seems more "reasonable" for a woman in her 30's to be overweight after 4 kids. Anyway, keep fighting because I really think you've got it in you.

Beth

ctina said...

It's a terrible feeling. Has happened to me many times. But, in past 2 years it has not.

Please trust me on this: It's NOT all about the exercise. It's about how much and what you eat. This is something you can control, because you always need to eat & you will always find the time to eat - commitments or not.

Even folks with injuries, who cannot exercise at all can lose weight and maintain it. You can do this by tracking, or just by consciously cutting your current portions in half.

Sure, it's better to exercise than to not. Exercise will help you lose weight more quickly if paired with a correct diet. But, exercise alone will not fix your weight. Eating less will.

It may sound too obvious, but at the end of the day, it comes down to what you put in your mouth.

Fat[free]Me said...

It is hard doing the balancing act while you are a mom and I have to admit to having been a failure in that regard myself. I put everyone else first and it is only now when my nest is empty that I have time for myself. And guess what I would rather have? There is too much time when they have gone.

How about a bit of delegating - alocate tasks all around, including appointing one of the kids as your personal trainer - they would love it and get a lot out of taking part in the running of the household (a sense of achievement, education, self-satisfaction, learn time-management skills to name a few).

Anyhoo, what you need is hugs - so here you go: (((hugs)))

Tony said...

Hey Lyn, I think you need some of the tough love people have been giving me: stop making excuses. You can do this. What's more important to you right now? Health or food. I've had to ask myself that recently. Once you make your decision, go for the gold.

Tammy said...

I've got a little tip for birthdays. As much as it is a part of our nature to buy cakes for birthday parties, it doesn't HAVE to be the main focus. You can buy or make a SMALL cake for the sake of tradition and having something to stick candles in. But you can also make a huge, beautiful fresh fruit tray. I did this for a friend's birthday. At the end of the night, there was only 4 pieces of cake gone, the rest left on the table. The beautiful fruit platter was empty. :)

Tammy
"....when we know better, we do better." -Maya Angelou

Chubby Chick said...

I know where you're coming from, Lyn. I've experienced losses and re-gains so many times in the past that I can't even count them!

My big eye-opening moment was exactly 5 months ago on Feb. 9th. I weighed in at a whopping, all-time high of 400.8 pounds! I felt totally devastated... but it was just the kick in the butt that I needed to finally wake up and take control of my weight problem once and for all. And now... looking back... I am so thankful that it happened.

Perhaps seeing 245 on the scale was exactly what you needed. I believe that it is. And I also believe that YOU are going to look back at today and be thankful that it happened... because you are definitely going to see how it has benefited you in so many ways... because I KNOW that you have the power within you to do whatever it takes to "escape obesity" once and for all!

I believe in you, girl! And I'm here for you! I'll be counting calories, exercising, dealing with issues, dealing with life, and overcoming obstacles every day right alongside you! You are NOT alone! And as you have said so often... you WILL not fail if you do NOT quit!!!

Keeping going, Lyn! You can do this! And I truly believe that you will!!!

xo,
C.C.

PatriciaW said...

I'm with you, Lyn. After losing 22 lbs this year, I've started inching upward too. Never mind the daily self-admonishments, the early am intent to have a "good weight-loss" day, the reminders to exercise and make good decisions.

Losing weight truly is the very hardest thing I've ever done.

All I can say is what I tell myself. One bad decision does not a lifetime make. You CAN do this! Start again, with each and every food choice or opportunity to move (exercise, stairs, whatever). Each chance is another chance to get it right.

Sarabei said...

Sorry, Lyn. I know you can do this. I know you've tried lots of different things, and I'm not trying to act like a know it all, bc different things work for different people. Maybe some time away from the blog, or the time focused on weight loss, would be good? I know it's a tough line, bc if you lose focus, you can easily lose control, but sometimes, for me at least, it's hard to see the forest for the trees. I get so caught up in the details that I lose sight of the big picture.

Whatever you do, good luck. I know I really want you to succeed. Your blog has been more inspiring than you know.

take care

Star said...

I just wanted you to know that you are 1 of my favoraite bloggers. Actually you are my fav. because you have the only blog that I read (there are many) that I have gone back and read ALL of your entries. You are a real inspriation to all kinds of people. I know that it helps me with my struggles with weightloss I down to losing the last 10-15 pounds but its a struggle and there are alot of time where i just want to give up and either stay where i am just just learn to live with it or stiff arm my way through it and break on through to the other side and it help to know that im not alone. So I just wanted to say thank you and that I wish you all the luck, strength, and happiness in the world and that you WILL get there.

rachel421 said...

hmmm. im not going to comment to your issues, since i only know for sure whats working for me and ill share that with you:

i had to stop focusing so much on emotions, childhood traumas, mystical, whispy aspects of appetite and get down to the meat and bones science of things.

for me, its been insulin control, period. when insulin is high or chronically raised during the day you have a chronic struggle with hunger and completely shutter fat loss.

each of us has to determine what constitutes insulin control for ourselves. it's always different for different people. i wonder if your plan that worked so well initially doesnt need to be tweeked some now? not sure in what way. only you can determine that, but if you get your insulin under control during the day you may find more control with your appetite. since im more balanced hormonlly and correcting my metabolic syndrome, i feel much more stable emotionally.

sorry lyn, thats all i know to say. its just whats helped me very much. chin up! keep adapting and tweeking your plan. youll find the way!

Stages of Change said...

Have always enjoyed your blog, though I've not been really reading anyones for a number of months now.

Bottom line is I a sorry to hear you're struggling. I can relate. I've lost and gained all my life. I've never not been fat. Ever. And the times I've at least lost SOME weight, I've gained it back and then some. The last time I lost seriously significant weight was the fall/winter of 2005 when I lost 175 lbs to clock in at the low (at the time) 378 lbs. I've vacilated very mildly since then, but largely on a steady gain, now putting me around 650 lbs.

Anyway, that doesnt matter. My point is I feel your pain, and I hope the best for you, as do a lot of people on here btw.

You can do it! :)

Anonymous said...

I've followed along for some time - but am a first time commenter.

I first ran across you on 3FC, when I began losing weight. We were both losing at a pretty good clip when I first noticed your presence.

I'm motivated by competition, little contests with myself - my first goal was to catch up to you. Yes - specifically YOU! At nearly 300 pounds I had a ways to go!

I worked at it for months and months and slipped nearer and nearer to your weight. The race was on!

At the time I still followed along on the forum and when my motivation flagged, your little ticker would appear in a post and kick my butt back into gear!

I believe we both reached the 2-teens at the same time. Exciting! I silently reveled in my joy with you!

I've surpassed my initial goals and have moved into maintaining my new bod for 6 months now. But I want to share that with you too, silently or not. Although I 'used' you for competition motivation I had no ill wishes. I truly thought we'd reach goal together.

And we will. Do this. Enough is enough.

NewMe said...

Usually, I try to be analytical and make useful, thoughtful comments. Today, it's just: {{{Hugs}}}}

Valerie said...

Like so many of the other commenters, I can identify with your struggle. I have been there before - losing weight only to gain it back and it always brings friends.

Focus on controlling what you can control - it sounds like, right now, that is your food intake. You may not be able to take off in the middle of the day for a 45 minute workout at the gym. You CAN choose to limit your caloric intake, eat whole and healthy foods, and NOT eat cake, cookies, etc.

Is it hard? Yes. Does it suck? HELL yes. But you know what won't suck? Reporting in next month that you've maintained, avoided sugar 95% of the time, or that you've even lost weight. Because you can, you know. YOU. CAN. LOSE. THE. WEIGHT.

EbonyRenee said...

I'd say try to wake up earlier and hit the unbeaten path. Good luck to you!

[I just started following...I've been lurking for quite some time.]

Anonymous said...

Hi Lyn,

Long time reader here. I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. That's normal and it happens to all of us on our weight loss journey sometimes. It's happened to me more times than I can count.

But, I'm going to have to agree with Tony on the tough love, which sometimes we need. No more excuses. Trust me, I love to make them too, but really, they get us nowhere, fast. We both know that. So why make them?

Although, I have to say that I disagree with the anonymous poster who said "No more cake, ever!" I hope you don't go for that "all or nothing" mentality. That doesn't work, and you're not going to live the rest of your life not eating cake. What kind of life is that? Life would suck without good food. I freaking love to eat, so it's silly to say no more cake.

Here's what I would have done in the "birthday cake" situation. Made cupcakes. Enough for everyone to have ONE (no one needs more than that) put the extra cupcakes down the garbage disposal. You cannot use the fact that it's someone's birthday to make a huge cake that you know full well is going to be sitting around. We have to take responsibility for our health. Today. Anyways, I really do wish you the best, and I know that you can do it!

Mikaelyn

Megan said...

Go Lyn!!! Woo hoo!!! You can do it!! Come on Lyn!! YAYYYY!!!!!

Thought you could use a cheer. Scared you will listen to the people advising you to take a blog hiatus, I would miss reading you so much.
I reiterate:
Come on Lyn!! You can do it!! GOOOO LYN!

Heather's House said...

Lyn ... most of us have been there. I've lost a lot a weight and then gained it all back plus more very quickly. Eventually you will get back on track. Just remember ... you haven't quit until you stop trying.

anne h said...

It is a trick - a freaking trick - we all believe that food will do something for us that, in the end, IT JUST CANNOT DO. So then, we are surprised and disappointed and ready to gouge out our own eyes...

Be still - and remind yourself of your progress and your goals...and maybe, just for this summer, just for this day - get those temptations out of your sight!

Hanlie said...

I was just thinking this evening... I NEED to move forward. I NEED to heal. I don't NEED the foods that derail my efforts. Good luck!

Mary :: A Merry Life said...

I wish I could come hug you.

I know what its like. I lost 55 then regained 50 of it. But knowing that I still never went back over my highest weight somehow gave me hope to keep going and start over. You can stop the regain now. You can do it Lyn!

Katie said...

Lyn, I've been down to 130 and up to 375 during my adult life (I'm 55 now), so I know about losing and gaining. Right now, I'm 240 and losing. I only say that let you know that we're sisters in this quest.

I wanted to share with you that the only...and I mean only...way to do this is with FOCUS. You simply cannot do it halfway because that just doesn't work. I use the phrase "gird up your loins for battle," squint your eyes, and even get angry if you have to (but not angry at yourself!). This is a time in your life to be selfish, or your children will have to deal with your illness and incapacitation down the road. My daughter is dealing with mine now.

Losing weight is hard. Being obese is hard. Choose your hard.

Love to you,
Katie

Carol said...

Those who have battled with being over weight will probably all agree, it's an addiction. An addiction to food. Realizing that, and comparing it to a drug or alcohol addiction, would you trust the addicted person to really know what is in their best interest? I don't think so. We enable our addictions. That's why I think "tough love" and methods of accountability are important when it comes to weight loss. The problem isn't that you don't know what you should and should not eat, you already know that. The problem is getting yourself to do what you already know you need to do. It's all in your thinking. I know you reviewed the Beck Weight Loss book and it didn'timpress you but the thing you missed was that you cannot just read it and make a good decision on whether it works, you have to actually DO it. That's the thing. Unless you do it, every one of those tasks that on the outside seem to be "no brainers" won't hel;p you adjust your thinking about food, dieting, weight loss. You can't really understand how the cognitive part fits in until you live it. I encourage you to try to actually do it. Also, being realistic, being healthy, exercising, and making good choices CAN be done and still take care of your children. Millions do it every day so why can't you? You can. You're just lost in your addiction and your perspective is skewed. I know it is your fearful mind saying these things but put it in perspective. You can do it if you choose to do it. I'm not saying just saying you want it, but really choosing to do it with every part of you (heart, mind, body, soul). You can't say you're making the choice and then do the opposite because you really haven't made the choice. Again, it's the cognitive part of it. Make sense? Anyway, like I said, I encourage you to DO the book, day by day, just like it is set up. If you're thinking right, then you're making good choices.

BTW, it could be worse, Oprah regained her weight in front of millions of people. You can turn things around THIS SECOND. Good luck to you.

bbubblyb said...

Lyn, I feel for you. Wish we were neighbors and could go for a walk together. It really seems you need some "you" time. Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Okay, you know you can lose weight with the 5 kids and all the demands of life. You've done it before.
I have only one suggestion. I believe your recent foray into fast foods has set you up for failure. There is so much crap in that food that messes with your hormones, blood suger, etc. Its hard not to feel you 'need' it. I won't go into specifics, there is a ton of literature on the subject, which you can google if this is a topic you're interested in.
its hard to break this cycle. Give yourself a chance. Sometimes a cookie just isn't a cookie, or a burger a burger. And I mean that in the literal sense, not the emotional sense.

Blue Moon said...

Lyn - if you step back, and read your entry with some distance, some objectivity, you will hear a strong message. Your busy schedule and tending to some many things leaves no time or opportunity for you to take care of, and nurture YOU. So, those needy feelings come to the surface, and the quickest and easiest way for us to nurture oursleves is to eat food that tastes great and soothes that "deprived" feeling. I have found I can "splurge" on myself once in a while, and it doesn't ruin everthing, I just hold steady on my weight instead of loosing, but I don't gain either, as long as I still excecise that day. That makes it worth while, and you get the soothing benefit, without the huge guit trip. I have to admit I HATE exercise, and would do anything to avoid it. But in all honesty, it is the only thing that makes a difference in my weight loss. As long as I exercise I can still eat and not regain my loss back. The ONLY way I can make myself exercise is if I walk to work. Then, I can't change my mind, take a short cut home, or change my mind half way throug - I have to get to work, so I can't change my course. Plus, once I'm done - I can't get home unless I walk - so, there I have it. A sure way to get in 3 miles a day of walking in. (That only burns about 300 cal. though). But you have to find the trick, the hook, the ringer for you. Maybe like when you take the kids to the park, walk there, or something that fits your schedule, but that you CANT sabotage. Good Luck. Judging by all your comments, alot of people care about you. You have to too.

South Beach Steve said...

Lyn, it is time to reach out and grab onto something. If you don't do whatever it takes to stop the crazy spinning out of control then the crazy spinning will continue. If I may offer a suggestion, it may be time for some body shock. Do something extreme for a week or so. Make your mind up to do it, and do it. Something like cutting everything out but very lean meats, chicken, fish, and whole vegetables. No cheating period. Use it as a time to reassure yourself that you can do this. You know you can, you just need to reaffirm it to your body. Lyn, I know you can do this. I am in your stands cheering you on, along with many others. You CAN do this!

Deb said...

I know of what you speak. In 2004 I went from 235 to 195. In 2005 to current I went from 235 to nearly 350. It is truly horrifying.

45+ and Aspiring said...

I agree with the person who suggested you exercise and move more while you're doing things with your kids. That seems to make more long term sense than trying to stop being the kind of mom you are.

However, I would suggest you try to make some choices to limit what you do in the day so that you can get adequate sleep (kind of like you have to limit how much you eat in a day). Being tired really lowers your resistance when choices get difficult.

Glad to see you are turning things around. As someone said to me (and it really helped!) You can do this.

And remember, once baby birdies open their eyes, they never go back to keeping them closed.

Keep yours opened too.

Farah said...

I'm sure all the suggestions here are covering about everything. When I was reading your post today it made me think of a book I read about 6 months ago that I found very inspiring. I don't know why this book popped into my head when I read your post, but I figured there must be a reason. Its called Running With Angels by Pamela H. Hansen. I don't know when you'd fit in reading a book into all that you have going on. But there it is. I hope you find your mojo!!

Anonymous said...

lynn - long time reader - first time commenter - just diagnosed this week with breast cancer - feel like my weight has caused this breast cancer since that is one of the major risks... pls don't beat yourself up for your weight gain - you and your children are healthy and there is nothing more important in life than health - best to you Lynn
Patty

Anonymous said...

There's a cookbook I've been thinking about buying for awhile called "Small Batch Baking" and I thought you might find it interesting. It's by a lady named Debby Maugans Nakos and I found it on Amazon. The whole book is supposed to be recipes for smaller versions of full-fat, full-flavor classics. Like a carrot cake with only four or five servings, or a half-dozen chocolate chip cookies. I love this idea because a.) I like to bake but cannot behave with leftovers lying around, and b.) I am not willing to experiment on my own and waste ingredients trying to figure this kind of thing out. So it's cool that someone else has done it for me. Oh, and there's c.) if I'm going to have dessert, I'm really gonna have dessert--not some stale diet dessert or ricotta cheese mixed with Splenda (South Beach diet) or something ridiculous like that. These are supposed to be REAL desserts.

Anyway, I haven't gotten the cookbook yet (I think at this point, with no kids of my own and a husband not interested in sweets, I would eat all five servings of cake, and even if it's a small cake, that's not cool), but thought it might help you out in dealing with birthdays and other special occasions with your family.

Rach

Coley said...

I do know the feeling to a certain. I do. I was 280, got down to 248, then up way past 300... blegh. One of my Bff's lost 126 lbs and has gained half back... she is feeling desperate. It's exhausting, it really is. Sorry to see you've gotten to that place. But it's not the same place, it's not, your eyes are open.
The cheery hopeful motivated feeling always goes away, and it's what's left that we work with. If it must happen, so it must, and you will defeat it again, more clear than ever and more positive than ever that it's possible for all.

Dang... that cake... is such a weakness of mine. If it was in my house there is NO way I'd even try to resist. I feel ya!

rachel said...

having lost 100 pounds between 2003 and 2006... and gaining 80 back during 2007 with my pregnancy along with another 30 since then, even.... i totally get it. thank you for writing what i can't put into words. love your blog!

Anonymous said...

OMG!! That carrot cake looks divine!! Could you put the recipe up for us to try???

Anonymous said...

Someday, when your kids are grown and gone, life will be about you again.

Forget that cliche. It's time to make it about you NOW. You need to make your life more about what you need.

How you do it is up to you, but you must.

Best,
Amy

Anonymous said...

Been there done that.

Have you looked up "cook yourself thin" on mylifetime.com.

You have to eat to live.

Lisa said...

Your right, you are done! I feel you in EVERY word on this post. PLEASE don't give up.

NewMe said...

One small idea: can you afford a babysitter just for an hour every few days? You need a few hours of "you" time to walk, exercise, whatever. If you can afford the investment, I think it will give you a huge payback.

And sorry to bring this up, but where's the husband? He can't watch the kids for an hour, every once in awhile?

Anonymous said...

OMG!! That carrot cake looks divine!! Could you put the recipe up for us to try???

This has got to be the funniest comment--considering the OP and the thread--EVER!!!! Thanks for the moment of levity!

Teale said...

Oh Lyn, do I ever know this one! I'm preparing for a move right now, and I packed up my "skinny" clothes that I wore when I first met my fiance. Ugh, that's all I can say--ugh.

ShredFail said...

It is so horrible to see the weight come back on...so defeating and frustrating. I'm glad you are feeling motivated by it instead of defeated. Good for you!

Mary said...

Lyn,

Thanks for posting such frequent updates of the baby robins. They are so adorable :)

I wish I could give you a big hug.

I also hope you can find a way to get more sleep. I can't imagine surviving on less than 5 hours a night. You can google "weight loss and sleep" to find evidence that perhaps your recent gain is caused (or at least exacerbated) by this.

Best of luck to you.

Lyn said...

NewMe~

I think the babysitter suggestion is the most helpful idea I got here! I think I will get someone to do that.

As far as the husband goes, there are reasons, there is stuff I don't share here, and medical issues that are serious, which is another thing I am dealing with. But I don't put *his* stuff on here, so I'll leave it at that.

And he was only here for a week anyway for our child's birthday. Mostly I am alone.

Anonymous~

LOL, sorry, not sharing *THAT* recipe here!! I would feel terrible about making my readers gain weight from that amazing cake! :)

Scale Junkie said...

I know the feeling so well.

Theophilus Academy said...

I know what you are going through, and I also know you can do it!!!!!! Don't give up. Obesity is a lifelong battle that you wage everyday. I just recently started blogging about my 155 lb weight loss. Even after yo lose the weight there are new battles waiting for you. Don't give up...keep up the good fight!!!!

www.theophilusacademy.blogspot.com

(((hugs))))

Lynn said...

As you can see, so many people can relate to the lose/gain back some/lose again/gain it back with friends....it is such a roller coaster.

I had my eye opener last night when I order a side of french fries to share with my husband. Neither one of us needed them but I "wanted" them. He, to his credit, had only a couple....I finished them. WHAT???? I certainly didn't need to do that.

Reading your post has helped me realize that it was my eye opening moment. Not only am I gaining weight back but I am not nearly as healthy as I was a few months ago...time to get back on track.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Hope things are going well for you and thanks so much for the post!

Back for Round Two said...

I often think that Curves would be booming if they added weight loss counseling, because I can't believe the mental issues I have with weight loss and weight gain. I'm not proud of saying it, but it's true *sigh*