Monday, June 1, 2009

June 1, 2009: 239 Pounds

I always post my weight on the first of the month, for tracking purposes. But it also serves as a checkpoint for me. I look at the sidebar where I have my weight listed by month, and I do a little mental assessment. Hmmm, I gained 9 pounds this month. Not exactly what I would like to see...

I'm not surprised, though. It was a pretty tough month for me. But like I've said before, it seems like I have a lot of tough months. Too much *stuff* going on and too much eating for comfort or eating junk because I am "busy" or skipping exercise because I "don't have time." Excuses...

But I feel so awesome today! I feel terrific. Maybe because I have started exercising daily again, or because I am eating more produce. Maybe because my little preschool houseguest who lived with us in May has gone home, or because my daughter's medical issues have gone to the background, or maybe it's just the lovely weather, but even though I saw 239 on the scale this morning I am happy! Yes, I want to lose weight this month, but you know what? Life passes by so fast. I won't live in a misery of self-hate *until* I reach my health and fitness goals; no one should! Did you know you can be happy and energetic and loving life even when your weight loss isn't going the way you'd like it to? You can. You should.

That's not passive acceptance of the gain. In fact, being happy and feeling great is a motivator to take better care of myself. And it builds and builds... I bike, I feel great, so I fix a healthy meal. Then I feel energized so I have an active day with my kids. I am happy at the end of the day so I make another healthy meal. I had such a good day that I want to care for myself so I go to bed early. I wake up refreshed and want to bike. And so goes the cycle, and a healthier, happier life ensues.

I just gotta cut the iced mochas out of the middle of the day, and quit eating junky meals "once in awhile."

I'm no weight loss guru. People seemed to think I was when I was down 60 pounds in a relatively short time without any "diet" aids. I got a lot of emails asking me for my secret, saying "oh I wish I had your motivation" or "I just don't have your willpower." Well guess what. I am just the same as you. Life, struggles, good times, bad times. Now I get emails chastising me for not working hard enough, being too lazy, eating too much, not losing weight fast enough. But the thing is, I am the same person. And when my weight starts dropping dramatically again, I will start getting those old emails again asking me how I managed to do it and wishing they were more like me. And I share with those people what I am doing, but it isn't a magic plan. It's just life, and sometimes what I am doing makes me lose weight, and other times it doesn't. I'm the same person, not a hero, not a failure.

I'm pretty convinced there are a lot of miserable people out there crying out for help. They don't know HOW to "make it happen" and are willing to buy any magic plan/pill/cookie to melt off the fat without making major life changes. So they do what I used to do: look around the web for answers, and email people who are losing weight to find out the where they got their golden ticket. I just want to give them some hope. There is no magic ticket. It's all within you.

And it's within me. I'm working it out... day by day, sometimes hour by hour. Solving a lot of the mental issues and traps that used to make me binge. Pushing myself to hang onto healthy habits. Getting up when I slip and fall. Never giving up, no matter what.

Oh I will get there, and it won't be because I starve myself or take a pill or drink a diet shake. I am not here to show you how to drop pounds in record time. I'm here to share my journey, no matter how long it takes. And when I do finally reach my weight and fitness goals will I be a diet guru? I don't think so. We all have our own journey, judged only by ourselves.

And now, I am going to bike!

34 comments:

Jeana said...

"There is no magic ticket. It's all within you."

Sometimes this is the hardest thing to remember. It IS within me. I CAN do this.

Thanks, Lyn!

♥ Dee ♥ said...

Just absolutely love you.

HugeMD said...

You're right there's no one magic solution, EXCEPT DON'T GIVE UP.

That's the only real difference between the "old" me and the "new" me.

Sounds like you've figured out that's the key for you, too!

Keep it up!

eilismaura said...

We are on the same road (you just a bit further down than me - but not a whole lot!)

It is hard to give in to the 'stuff' - but so important to keep going.

I have had to learn (grudgingly) I have valid stuff and there are going to be many things that keep me from going the way you are (medical problems = never getting fit, only getting run down, when I exercise)

Have you looked at portion control using bento boxes? On bad day a cute box/meal amuses me - on good days I amuse others with them!

Good luck and keep going!

Ruby Leigh said...

Continue to keep your head up, just remember you are still down almost 40 lbs from where you started.

Winderdoodle said...

The power of positive thinking! I love this post as it's sooo true. If we choose to be positive, no matter our weight, we'll be successful. Being positive will also keep us out of the not-so-nice cycle of weight gain. We start to feel icky, we eat, we gain, we feel icky, we eat, we gain, etc. Being positive can have the opposite effect and put us back on the right track to end that cycle.

I also think happiness, and being positive, is a choice. We wake up and decide how we're going to tackle the hurdles that come at us. We can't control what life throws our way, but we can control our reactions and feelings regarding those things.

Congrats on taking the right path today. You are successful!

-Wendy

wendyweightlossjournal.blogspot.com

Shelley said...

Great, great post. You are right on with this game of weight loss and LIFE. Go Lyn!

rachel421 said...

you bet you feel good! when you bike you get oxygen to your brain and tissues, you flush nourishment through the bloodstream all ova the place, you release endorphins for a joy rush, you get calm, focused, and uplifted. i am so proud you started back on your sweating!! :)

Pubsgal said...

Way to go, Lyn!!! So true, what you wrote.

bbubblyb said...

Getting there really is about positive thinking and just never giving up. I'm almost at my 2 yr point and though I haven't gotten to goal I'm still trying. I know I will eventually get there and like you said life just goes on regardless so you might as well do the best you can and enjoy it. Hopefully this month will be better than the last. *hugs*

Ang said...

there is no magic pill..a lot of hard work, sweat, mental forethoughts, emotional trips, and planning go into your 60 lb loss. I commend for you still trying and NEVER GIVING UP!!

If you are looking some sort of motivation, I've issued a summer weightloss challenge over on my blog. Would love to see you join and we can help each other along the *weigh*.

Take care of yourself. You're whole self.

Sue said...

You are awsome. I swear we are the same person 10 years apart!

Vickie said...

please mark this posting in some way so you can find it again and read it to yourself when you are down - it's a very good one!

Barefoot Pixie said...

Thank you so much for that wonderful message. I completely agree with everything you said. When people find out I'm losing weight the always ask, "what are you doing to lose the weight?" and I can't really answer them. I know they want to hear an easy, pat, contained answer about this diet or that gym but the answer is that I am learning, day by day and sometimes minute by minute, to love myself and to try to treat myself better. Some days are good and some are really, really bad. Thank you for that extra reminder. I always need it. Good luck to you!!!

beerab said...

Wow I can't believe people send you emails like that! That's just RUDE. Maybe their own lives are perfect but here on planet earth we do have things come up in our lives.

I think you are still doing great- the best thing is identifying your problems and trying to work on them- and you have! I hear ya on your other post about it's not the food you want, but love. I tend to overeat out of boredom- not good! But I'm much better than before- if I'd never found 3FC I'd probably be closer to 250 lbs right now.

Good luck girl!

~TMcGee~ said...

It saddens me to think that people send you emails basically scolding you and pointing a finger. How is that helpful? It's not. You are a much kinder person than me, Lyn, I would have deleted my email button by now. :-)
Keep up your good work, this was a wonderful post by the way.

Lyn said...

beerab & TMcGee~

I guess some people are just ultra critical and negative by nature. When I get a hostile email, I just feel bad for the author, because it must be pretty unpleasant to be that negative, and I hope they can find self love someday! And the majority of emails and comments I get are sooo positive and supportive, I just feel so blessed to have great friends/readers. Thank you all for the kindness :)

Honib1 said...

Bahh to those people who chastise you.. You my dear are motivation for me.. like water.. you help me.. you give me energy and strength when I am ready to quit.. you make me smile.. you understand.. you GET IT.. and the biggest most beautiful thing about you.. is that you are human.. with faults and boo boos and faul ups and screw ups and mess ups and slip ups.. and joy , and sweetness, and laughter and kindness and goodness .. just like me.. just like others here.. ! you know you have the power , same as me.. its how you turn that power on that inspires.. You my dear are wonderful!!!

mythreemonthokinawadiet said...

Excellent Post.

I am glad you talked about being on a diet is a personal journey. I believe it is. There is no one way.

I am also glad you talked about the comments people leave you. I stopped the comments as I did not have the ability to deal with the negativity. "Oh you are losing wieght too fast" You are a bad influence on other dieters." Oh you eat too few calories" Oh your opinions are offensive. etc

I can go out on my own journey but have trouble defending it.

Good luck to you. You will succeed.

Karyn said...

Lyn, you are such a wise person. I love that you have learned to love yourself and your life NOW instead of waiting until you have lost weight.

Lisa said...

I think the honesty with yourself and the accountability of posting about everything is GREAT! I too lost 60 lbs and then gained 40 back in THREE months but like you I am not giving up!

Betsey C. said...

I can't believe you get emails chastising you! Unbelievable. Wouldn't you like to tell those folks to walk just a few steps in your shoes?

You will get nothing but cheers from me, and from most of your well-meaning readers, I'm sure. I I have gotten so much inspiration from your blog. I love "watching" you dust yourself off and get going again after a period of gaining. Today's post is a perfect example of that. Thank you!

Summer said...

So true. This was a good read for me this morning. Thanks so much! :)

Karen in Tennessee said...

And this is why so many people appreciate you Lyn!!! You have consistantly shared your struggles and victories with us, with such honesty and even in your hardest time, always offering us such hope. We ALL have it within us. We just have to remember to believe in ourselves. Thanks for making sure I never give up. If I had given up I know I would be over 400 pounds now. No, 262 isn't where I WANT to be but I know that I am a work in progress and by not giving up, I will continue to move toward better health. Thanks so much for reminding us all of that!!! I think I will call my newly renewed program: HEALTH-HENGE! :)

NewMe said...

Lyn,
You are a superb writer and a wonderfully honest person who is willing to look her life right in the eye. I admire you greatly and always enjoy reading your posts. When I finally get around to putting a blog roll on my blog, you will definitely be on it! I read you every day.

Wendy

Mary @ A Merry Life said...

True that. You have a great attitude and perspective on all this.

ryry the adventurous said...

I wish I could bike with you! I need a bike partner. :( You are doing AWESOME. I never doubt that you do awesome.

Mamacita Chilena said...

Good for you! Your blog is really uplifting.

I can't jog for a while because I got hit by a car on Sunday. Is that a good enough excuse? :P

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Very nice post. Glad to hear you feel terrific :)

It's so true, there's no magic plan. You just do what you do.

Ria said...

Great post, Lyn, and so true - being happy and feeling great is the reason we're doing this in the first place!

Here's to a wonderful June - lots of loving life and progress towards our fitness goals.

Lucie Blue said...

I think you are so fab!

Can I ask a little question? Do you weigh yourself weekly, or just monthly? Only, I am terribly obsessive about weighing myself and do it everyday, which is terribly counterproductive. What do you think is best?

Lyn said...

Lucie Blue~

I weigh myself every day when I am on plan. I just put the weight into a chart on Sparkpeople and atch the trend. I used to be obsessed and reactive to the numbers, too, but weighing daily took the emotion out of it for me and now it is just a number in a trend. HTH :)

Heather said...

sure you could focus on your gain or what you should have done, but Im glad you are looking forward and thinking of ways you can make june a successful month for you. and I think may was successful because you went through a lot, did the best you could, and you havent given up! thats success to me.

Coley said...

Great post - and I agree! That whole - "you've always had it in you" truth. Be the change you want in your life - motto. Good stuff! And I also agree in finding that happiness in everyday and being your best where you are, not only at just your weight goal.
I have a friend who refuses to do anything positive for herself until she meets her weight goal. Blasphemy! She should love herself right now and deserves to feel great at this weight now - sure, waiting to go on a shopping spree can wait perhaps, but getting that haircut, that new lipgloss or for me - a pair of jeans that doesnt bag at my butt... is worthy of me NOW. At THIS weight. When we feel good, we do good for ourselves.
Good realization - hope you had a wonderful bike ride!