Friday, June 26, 2009

Insanity!

Yikes!! My stress level went up exponentially this morning as I was signing my child up for swim lessons, and felt ambitious and decided to get her medical referral in place "early." I was feeling all smug for being so on top of things, as I started making phone calls, but then had quite a jaw-drop moment when I looked at the calendar and realized that her appointment is MONDAY. Yes, *this* Monday, as in, right after the weekend... as in, today is FRIDAY and her doctor's office closes early on Fridays and I haven't even ASKED them to start the referral yet nor have I gone over to sign the release to send her medical records to the new doctor. YIKES!! Not to mention, I wasn't exactly planning being on the road for 5+ hours on Monday. Gee, I thought it was still mid-June. What happened to the time???

As I was bugging out and making phone calls, one lady I reached to ask for help took it upon herself to scold me for calling so late in the game. "I'm sorry," I stammered, "Time just got away from me...." Isn't that how it always is?

After I got off the phone with her, I had that feeling you get when someone scolds you... the little kid wanting to hide in her room feeling. The dog with its tail between its legs feeling. Add that to the previous frantic chaos I was dealing with prior to the phone call, and what do you get?

Cookies! Big Macs! Pizza! Chips! Candy!

Yeah, isn't it weird that my mind goes *there* when I feel overwhelmed?

Instead, I made myself a healthy breakfast, took a deep breath, and processed.

I really have no reason to feel upset, ashamed, or guilted by some stranger on the phone. Hey, I'm doing the best I can. She doesn't know my circumstances. And everyone makes mistakes. Really, her irritation is HERS, not mine. I just need to keep doing what I need to do, the best I can, with what I have *now.* Breathe. Let it go. Don't be anxious. Just try and get things in order for the trip. And if I can't, if it's too late, so be it. I can reschedule.

Binge avoided.

Other than that bit of unexpected insanity this morning, I am feeling really great! Eating well feeds the mind and puts me in a better state of being. My eating isn't exactly where I want to to be in the evenings... but improving. I need to plan a "safe" snack to have if my stomach is grumbling at night. Like Veggie Cereal, or a string cheese. Then I won't catch myself reaching for the ol' cheese & carbs!

Have a super weekend, and enjoy the gift you have of one more day to enjoy your life!

5 comments:

HugeMD said...

WTG, babe! Summer flies by. No way to avoid it. Sounds like SHE has the problem.

Diana said...

I hate it when people do that to me. It's like you lay enough guilt on yourself and certainly don't need someone to add to it. Figure she probably has a miserable life and gets her jollies from making other miserable too.

Good job on avoiding the binge. Night eating is my thing too. I need to close the kitchen at 9pm, better yet, I need to lock it down (wish I could actually do that!).

Greta said...

As a fellow mom of four, I completely understand. Go easy on yourself. And, yes...a very good idea to have a healthy meal...and be planning ahead for healthy snacks. Protein works well for me....makes cravings disappear fast. My favorite healthy snacks are: half an apple sprinkled with pure cinnamon or 1/2 ounce almonds or 2 oz chicken and 5 baby carrots, or 1/2 cup Quaker Oat Squarers or the new Quaker "Fiber and Omega-3" chewy granola bar (150 cal, 9 gram fiber, 5 gram fat, 3 gram protein....it is a nice little bar).

Anonymous said...

lynn, i am choosing to remain anonymous. i am a woman with weight loss issues, even though i am a relatively "small" person-but i just want to say that i read your blog religiously. you confront issues head on and make no apologies. it is obvious to me that you are an intelligent, together, wonderful mom and that all of your hard work is going to pay off in the end. bless you and your gift for honesty and for being in touch with yourself. you have nowhere to go but up and i applaud you. keep doing what you are doing and you will get to where you want to go...i think that you are absolutely fantastic and i wish you all the best. xoxo cocorico

South Beach Steve said...

Congratulations on keeping in control! That is one great step! As an old friend of mine used to say, "It will all come out in the wash!"