May 1, 2009: 130 Pounds

See? See?? I told you I would come back 100 pounds lighter!!

We got home a few hours ago and I am absolutely THRILLED to report that my daughter's test went SO WELL that even the expert nurses who did the test were surprised. "This is the fastest VCUG we have ever done!" It was about 15 minutes long rather than the expected 45+ minutes. The sedation went perfectly, no complications whatsoever, and the only time she showed ANY sign of pain was at the beginning of the catheter insertion when she said, "ow!" once. That's it, then back to watching her movie (a therapist brought a little DVD player into the testing room!) She was totally loopy and couldn't walk for a couple of hours afterwards but she was back to normal the next morning. And when I asked her how she liked her hospital trip (to see what she remembered) she said, "Good. The nurse gave me crackers and a Popsicle!"

And the very best news of all... my daughter's kidney reflux... which was a grade 2/3 previously... is GONE. Completely healed on its own! ZERO. The x-rays looked great, and not only will she NOT need surgery, but the urologist took her OFF her daily medication completely and discharged her from the clinic! I was so happy and relieved when they told me there was no reflux that I felt like melting into a puddle of relief! I sat there in the recovery room, rocking my girl and I honestly, physically and completely felt 100 pounds lighter. It felt like lead weights were lifted out of the pockets of my soul. I cannot even describe it.

It's a burden of worry I have carried for my little daughter since before she was born. From the day I was admitted to the hospital because my unborn baby was in danger, I have been the Mother Of A Sick Child. I remember lying in that hospital bed, day after day, listening to her heartbeat on the 24/7 monitor. It would be beating along just fine and then suddenly... kathunk.................kathunk...............................kathunk.......(big pause) and I would flip out and panic because her heart was going SO SLOWLY and each time it would beat I would wonder if it was going to be the last. It was torture.

When she was born she was quite early and quite small. Two and a half pounds of tiny, sick baby. Ventilators. IVs. Blood transfusions. Oxygen. Heart, lung, eyes, kidneys... specialists galore. Medications, monitors and oxygen tanks were my 24/7 life. She's done very well, but this one last thing was hanging around, making me worry. I was so scared something would happen to her. We had so many close calls already. I just needed her to be okay.

And she IS okay. She is off that blasted medication, FINALLY, after years of taking it daily. I am sooo happy. My baby girl is well!

Thank you all SO much for your thoughts and prayers. My life feels so much better now! I can't believe how much this was weighing (literally) on me all those years. So yeah, in actual pounds I gained 3 in April, but that's okay with me, because I lost a hundred pounds in worry and I feel like a whole new woman!

(Now, maybe I can get my focus onto making these thighs a little smaller!)