Sunday, May 3, 2009

Fat Clothes

Yesterday, I was going through some boxes and I found my old Fat Clothes. I remember them well. I was wearing some of them in my "before" pictures on this site. They were big and comforting, and I felt at home in them because they covered my size and made me look normal (or so I thought). Some of them were getting too tight, though, and I had to put them back in the closet because I refused to go out with fabric stretched taut across my belly like I was nine months pregnant. I stuck them in a box in that room a long time ago, when I figured it was time to move down a size. So when I came across them yesterday, it was a little flash of nostalgia... and shock.

As I pulled each piece out of the box, memories flooded back. Oh yes, I remember this shirt, so comfy and perfectly fitting. But as I held it up, the fabric just kept billowing out until it seems I was holding a flag... an "I Am Big" Banner... in my hands. It was really big... bigger than I remember. I generally wear 18s and 20s now, and this shirt was a 28. Wow. Times have changed. I've changed.

I held up piece after piece of size 26, 28 and 30 clothing. The X's kept on coming... 3x, 4x, and even two 5x shirts (yes, they were very big on me, but I wore them! What was I trying to do, built up a wardrobe for when I gained 50 more pounds??) I boxed them up and marked the box, "26/28, 3X." And then I went on to find loads of 22's, 24's, and 2x's... all too big for me now. I remember when those used to be my "skinny clothes"... the clothes I hoped and wished and dreamed of fitting into. And now they're too big. Amazing.

As I stood staring at the piles of fabric, I had a moment where I thought, "This is impossible. I'm sure these clothes still fit me." I grabbed a shirt and put it on. It hung like curtains. I just stared. Am I really that much smaller? Sometimes, I feel the same size.

Today I sold my fat clothes. I put them on Craigslist and some nice ladies came and got them for a fraction of what I paid. But I am thrilled. No more safety net. No more saving the Fat Clothes "just in case." I've kept 50 pounds off for a year now. I'm not going back.

I look forward to the day when I take the clothes I am wearing today... 16 top and 18/20 bottom... and put them in a Fat Clothes box. I can't wait to be able to hold them up and wonder, how did they get to be so big on me? Now my Wish Box holds size 14 and 16 jeans, and size medium tee shirts. And you know what? Someday I'll wear them. Maybe sooner than you think :)

24 comments:

Graze With Me said...

That's amazing. I think it really takes something like that to make you realize that you HAVE changed.

Congratulations on selling them too! No more reasons to keep them in the house because you will continue to shrink :)

mak'n Changes said...

Thats right you will! and your 14-16s and mediums will become too big and so on and so on! You are doing an amazing job! I love reading your posts, I find them very encouraging. Get it girl!
cindie

Bryher Hill said...

Your fat boxes and wish boxes sound like a fantastic idea! I recyled all of my larger clothes apart from one pair of UK size 22-24 jeans. I hold those up against my size 14s and find it incredible!!

Drina said...

Lyn, I had a similar experience after finding some old photographs of myself from when I was nearly 300 pounds... I couldn't believe how different those photos appeared, how much bigger my old body looked. I now see my old life with a completely different set of cognitive lenses!

A said...

I think I'll get a wish box too! I definitely think you did the right thing selling your fat clothes. No reason to hang on to those. Seems like you're doing great. :)

Chubby Chick said...

As soon as my "fat clothes" are too big... they're going bye-bye, too! Like you... I am determined to never need them ever again!

Jeanne said...

That is totally and completely amazing!! I just got out my summer stuff and I was happy it all still FIT...and I didn't need to get new BIGGER clothes. I really need to get working on getting into SMALLER ones!

((hugs))
Jeanne

Heather said...

thats wonderful! I had a similar experience last summer with all my "fat" clothes. I pulled them out and thought, Im sure these still fit and then was amazed when they were all huge. sometimes it does take a while for our brains to catch up with the reality of our weight loss.

mythreemonthokinawadiet said...

I enjoy reading your posts. I think you are a great writer.

Cheers

Hopeful said...

I can't wait until I can get rid of my fat clothes, too!

Ang said...

I so can identify with this post. great job and departing with them.

bbubblyb said...

Sometimes I forgot how far I've come. Nice to hear you go down memory lane with your fat clothes makes me remember too. I really think that's what will keep us moving forward, remembering how far we've come. Thanks.

Bethany said...

Wahoo! That is an amazing accomplishment, Lyn! I'm proud of you for getting rid of those clothes. They have no part in the new Lyn's life! :D
Bethany

ani pesto said...

What a great feeling and a fantastic achievement. Reminders like that are so important to help us see how far we've come.

I LOVED giving away all my fat clothes, OK so I got a little stung when I had a re-gain problem but I'm still constantly driven by how good it feels to shrink out of my old clothes.

Rachel said...

I've read that you shouldn't hang onto the fat clothes, but I haven't given away mine (yet?) - they're still in the back of the closet. How funny that our perception takes so long to catch up with our reality!

Katie J said...

Lynn - Can't wait for you to get to your wish box! What a great idea. You are doing awesome and you are really inspiring.

Hanlie said...

You've come a long way! Well done!

Ria said...

Great NSV victory, Lyn - I need to do the same thing!

DEBRA said...

Lyn
I still keep seeing myself in my 3X size -- it's really strange mentally. The only way I can "see" that I have lost weight is when I put on smaller sizes.I am down to mediums now and it's so weird to still be a 3X in my mind.
I've been selling my clothes too (but on ebay) -- not ever going back!
Keep up the good work!

Jen said...

Ahh how awesome! What a nice reminder of how FAR you have come!

Ceres said...

That is a great feeling, indeed, you've accomplished so much already! Here's to even smaller sizes! :-)

clickmom said...

I call my secret stash of too small clothes my "goal clothes". SOme days my goal is to fit into them and some days my goal is to realize they are too bog for me. I'm down 30 pounds. 100 more to go.

Alice said...

I just have to say, well done! and that your post made me smile like crazy for ten minutes. When I've had a bad day your writing always cheers me up. Keep going!

Salted with Shadows said...

Great post...I hope I get to this place!