Fat Clothes

Yesterday, I was going through some boxes and I found my old Fat Clothes. I remember them well. I was wearing some of them in my "before" pictures on this site. They were big and comforting, and I felt at home in them because they covered my size and made me look normal (or so I thought). Some of them were getting too tight, though, and I had to put them back in the closet because I refused to go out with fabric stretched taut across my belly like I was nine months pregnant. I stuck them in a box in that room a long time ago, when I figured it was time to move down a size. So when I came across them yesterday, it was a little flash of nostalgia... and shock.

As I pulled each piece out of the box, memories flooded back. Oh yes, I remember this shirt, so comfy and perfectly fitting. But as I held it up, the fabric just kept billowing out until it seems I was holding a flag... an "I Am Big" Banner... in my hands. It was really big... bigger than I remember. I generally wear 18s and 20s now, and this shirt was a 28. Wow. Times have changed. I've changed.

I held up piece after piece of size 26, 28 and 30 clothing. The X's kept on coming... 3x, 4x, and even two 5x shirts (yes, they were very big on me, but I wore them! What was I trying to do, built up a wardrobe for when I gained 50 more pounds??) I boxed them up and marked the box, "26/28, 3X." And then I went on to find loads of 22's, 24's, and 2x's... all too big for me now. I remember when those used to be my "skinny clothes"... the clothes I hoped and wished and dreamed of fitting into. And now they're too big. Amazing.

As I stood staring at the piles of fabric, I had a moment where I thought, "This is impossible. I'm sure these clothes still fit me." I grabbed a shirt and put it on. It hung like curtains. I just stared. Am I really that much smaller? Sometimes, I feel the same size.

Today I sold my fat clothes. I put them on Craigslist and some nice ladies came and got them for a fraction of what I paid. But I am thrilled. No more safety net. No more saving the Fat Clothes "just in case." I've kept 50 pounds off for a year now. I'm not going back.

I look forward to the day when I take the clothes I am wearing today... 16 top and 18/20 bottom... and put them in a Fat Clothes box. I can't wait to be able to hold them up and wonder, how did they get to be so big on me? Now my Wish Box holds size 14 and 16 jeans, and size medium tee shirts. And you know what? Someday I'll wear them. Maybe sooner than you think :)