Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Belly Again...

I have this pregnant-looking belly that is really getting on my nerves lately. I mean, I have had this belly for a long, long time. It looks like I *might* be 5 or 6 months pregnant, or maybe just fat. I hate it. I look down and it's like I have this alien blob attached to my belly. Which, in fact, is very much like it is to actually BE pregnant, except there really IS an alien in there... and it is a joyful feeling because you're going to have a sweet little baby soon. Having a blob of fat there is NOT joyful. I really hate it!

I remember back in 1998, when I was 28 years old and newly divorced with four very small children. I went to church one Sunday, wearing a beautiful new dress that I'd bought on sale and felt so gorgeous in. It was a dark green fabric, patterned, with those ties that go in the back. After church was over, I got up to leave with my little ones, and an old lady came up to me crying. News had just gotten out that my husband had left, and people were generally being supportive and offering sympathy. She reached out and patted me on the shoulder, looked into my eyes with tears streaming down her face, and said, "Oh, honey, I didn't know you were pregnant!"

The people standing around me looked at my belly. All my kids looked. I knew she meant no harm... she just felt so bad for a young, newly single mom with 4 kids and what appeared to be another on the way. I reached out and put my arm around her shoulder, and said, "Oh, I'm not... I'm just fat." "Oh..." she said... and walked off. I never wore that dress again.

I've had this fat belly ever since then, except for last summer when I got down to 214 pounds. The belly was not *totally* gone, but I definitely did not look pregnant. Even now, really, if I wear the right clothes and watch my posture, I don't look *that* pregnant. But to ME, I do. It's there, and I don't like it. I think all 16+ regained pounds went right to my abdomen and hung out in a "fake preggo belly" convention.

I'm really hoping it will come back off again this summer. But I'm gonna have to work for it. I guess that's my new goal and focus. Get rid of the belly!

21 comments:

Susannah said...

I hear ya, Lyn! Being a pear shape, I have been asked many times if I was pregnant. Given my personal history, it has, at times, been a pretty painful question. My weight centers on my middle, more like an inner tube. And I can't wait to reduce it to a shadow of its former self, ha ha. The upside of carrying weight in our middles rather than our chests is the reduced risk of heart disease. Have a great day!

Hanlie said...

I've also been asked that question on a few occasions, and like Susannah, it hurts, since my belly fat is one of the causes of my infertility. And of course, the belly fat is always the last to go... But it will go!

KK @ Running Through Life said...

I hear you too! I hate my belly. It is depressing for sure.

Laurie said...

I completely get that I am apple shaped and all my weight is in my stomach, so since it starts just under my brests, I definately look ready to deliver...concidering i wasnt even this big at nine months with my 3 y/o, so I am a fake preggo too! I just Praise God no one has asked"when are you due" I think I would die! (FOR SURE!)

Sherre said...

Ugh! I know EXACTLY how you feel since I have the same belly. I found some "control top" type camisoles that help a bit (coupled with spanx or other control top undergarments). But that's not an option for me in the summer (too dang hot for that many clothes).

Rebecca said...

That sounds like a horrible experience! Your belly sounds like my thighs! Good luck with it!

antgirl said...

Keep at it and it will go. I'm sure one of these days you will write how it has disappeared. :)

Bethany said...

Lyn, that is so frustrating, I know, but it WILL BE GONE! You are so determined and you will be successful. I've got the junk in the trunk and ginormous hips that are my huge figure flaws...Rooting for all of us to find a body we can LIVE with! :D
Bethany

Tina said...

I hate mine so much. Sometimes I feel like it hangs down to my knees and that it's not really a part of my body. I'm right here with you working it off this summer!!

NewMe said...

Oh Susannah!

Bad news: that belly fat is directly linked to heart disease. Google it.

Like many women, I've got it too. I've always had a little belly, even when I was a lot slimmer. It definitely got bigger when I had my kids and even when I lost weight, it seemed to want to stick around.

The interesting thing is that since I've started losing weight again, it's mostly leaving the belly. My waist is exactly the same size, alas, but the number of inches from my belly button to my C-section scar is starting to go down. The proof is that I'm now able to pour myself into a pair of what for me are skinny jeans.

Carlos said...

people think im pregnant all the time! annoying

Colleen said...

Don't underestimate how much posture affects this. I saw mine improve greatly with regular core exercises. I was mistaken for pregnant due to my potbelly a few times, but since I've learned to stand up straight consistently, never.

missy said...

Yeah, someone called me pregnant a few years back, and I was 20 pounds lighter then! Argh. I NEVER assume now. EVER.

L1z4 said...

OMG I totally relate to this post! I have been consciously working on this area of Body Image for quite a while. What helps is looking at artist's paintings of the female body, avoiding looking at (thinspo) magazine images of bare, tight and toned bellies. When I catch myself thinking about how gross my belly is, I tell myself "I have a normally functioning and healthy digestive system, and I won't take that for granted", and I think of a girl I knew who had Chrone's Disease, and other people I met with serious health ailments, including cancers of the digestive system. Hope this helps.

Fat[free]Me said...

I have a 9-month belly, sigh. For many years it was a replacement for the babies I never had. Stoopid me, I almost liked it.

Can hardly wait to get rid of it as it is the worst place to store fat apparently.

Flat tummies - here we come!

Heather said...

it definitely is strange where the weight comes on sometimes. when I first got larger, it was more on my hips and thighs and when I started to lose weight, my stomach was actually pretty flat. then I gained it all back and it went to my stomach. now I also have a "food baby" and not only is it hard to get rid of, but I have to get rid of it and the fat on the hips and thighs. its hard but just keep at it and little by little you will have the stomach that you want.

mythreemonthokinawadiet said...

It was very civilized of you to realize the old lady meant to harm and very kind of you to deal with the situation in a mature manner. The world needs more people like you. good luck to you.

Chubby Chick said...

I hate my belly, too. Sometimes I wish I could just cut it off. lol

Last Thanksgiving, an innocent little girl came up to me, pointed at my stomach (which was at her eye-level) and said, "Do you have a baby in there?"

I could have died... but it was also funny... so I just laughed and said, "No... but maybe some day."

Early said...

Oh, I hear you, loud and clear, adn I'm totally with you. I actually never had even a hint of a belly for the longest time - mind I'm pear-shaped, so the thighs, hips and butt have always been big, but not my tummy, no. Then I had my son; and instead of losing the baby fat afterwards, I gained even more weight. Now looking at my pregnancy photos, my belly looked smaller at 6 months than now. It was even smaller teh day I gave birth than it is now.

I swear, if I were offered to keep everything as it is and lose just the belly I would take that offer so fast. The belly is the one thing I really want to lose more than anything, all others can follow.

Good luck to you!

Vickie said...

I too am an APPLE and it was my motivating force all the way to goal. And it remains my motivating force now - because if I gain one pound - belly is exactly where it goes and I can see it there.

The Incredible Shrinking Family said...

I have one of those bellies as well, and have had one for most of my life. I went through infertility and was able to lose 110 pounds and finally conccive, but the belly fat was still there ( had not reached goal weight before I got pregnant). Then weirdly ironic thing was i did not "show" with an actual belly bulge till I was almost 7 months along because of my stomach. After all the work and waiting, I felt so totally ripped off ! Now because of pregnancy, weight, 2 abdominal surgeries and carrying an 11 lb 13 oz baby and battling gravity, my stomach looks like there is a baby in there...and it is melting. Gravity is so not kind !