Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Forging Onward

Last night I slept fitfully, and this morning I woke up in a mental haze. I made my cup of tea and sat down to read my email, which I do every morning as I wake up. Through my bleary eyes I clicked to my mailbox, and the very first thing I saw was an email from.... Pioneer Woman! Yes, Ree from the Pioneer Woman blog which I mentioned yesterday dropped me a line! I was pretty surprised, but I guess she saw the links coming in from here and came over to see what was up. And let me just say, she sent me the nicest, most sincere email letting me know her life is *not perfect* and that she didn't want me to feel bad. She sent well wishes and really it was quite a nice personal email that put me in a much better frame of mind this morning. So although I already wrote her back and thanked her, I want to say it here, too: Thanks, Pioneer Woman. You're a class act!

Honestly she does have a really nice site, and I never had any ill feelings about *that.* I was just coveting a little. Okay a lot. But I am OK now. I think the PMS was topping off everything else and turning me into a ball of weepy hormones. I do feel better today. And I'll still mosey over to her site from time to time, just to check out what the cute cowpokes are doing. After all, we all need a dose of sunshine and roses in our lives on occasion.

But back to reality, here. I'm just gonna get fatter if I don't kick it into high gear. I didn't bike again today because of the weird hip pain. I ate too much. I do really well with breakfasts, but after lunch everything goes south. This morning I went in the kitchen, thinking, "what do I want to eat today? Eggs, or oatmeal?" When I opened the fridge, leftover sausage pizza was staring me in the face. Oh how I love cold pizza for breakfast! I grabbed a slice and took a bite... all the while feeling like I was making a big mistake. I turned around, spit the bite in the trash, and stuck the rest of the slice in the garbage. Then I made an egg over easy, a whole grain English muffin, and tea. I had a Clementine, too... so juicy and fresh and sweet. If you haven't tried a Clementine, you *must* try them. Oh so good, 35 calories, and full of nutrition. (A Clementine is a kind of very small orange, like a mandarin, but seedless and extra sweet).

It's been icy cold here... in the single digits all week, with a bit of snow. The kids have had 2 hour delays every morning for school. Ballet was cancelled for my daughter, and we have barely been out of the house in 5 days. I am going stir crazy and so is she. I really do wish I could get out, to get away from certain "fixtures" that cause me grief, if you catch my drift. But I can't take her out in this weather, so here we stay. We were supposed to drive several hours to a Children's Hospital tomorrow for that painful, invasive testing my child needs, but there is a severe weather watch and the whole area is expecting a good load of snow, so I am calling to cancel in the morning. A relief, in a way. I had been dreading doing this right before Christmas. I hate seeing my baby in pain. Hate it. It'll still have to be done, but at least I can relax again for a few months until then.

I just have to say that you guys, you people who read, who think about me, who care what I write, who comment, who lift me up in so many ways... you guys are the best. I have never in my life felt so listened to, so empowered. As if I have a million hands bearing me up and pulling me forward, arms embracing me. If you knew the lonely kind of life I have lived... well, someday maybe I'll tell you. But trust me, I appreciate this.

Now let's do this thing. Time for strength and courage!

24 comments:

Hanlie said...

You sound much more in control today. I'm very happy about that, although you should of course never suppress your emotions. I think that's why a lot of us are fat today.

Hope you can get out of the house a bit soon and that your hip stops bothering you!

Anonymous said...

Good to know that you are starting to pick up again. Go Girl, show 'em all. Carol (Australia)

moonduster said...

I'm glad you are in a more positive frame of mind today. (((hugs)))

Vickie said...

I think that loneliness is something that many of us have in common. It is amazing what company we all feel from each other - although the vast majority of us will never meet. I am glad that you are feeling better. We have delays and snow here too. Even my mom said she is feeling a bit stir crazy too. Are you able to leave daughter with husband for a bit - so you can get out and power walk in the snow? Or is it too icy - don't risk a fall!!!

Anonymous said...

I am sending you an extra big hug and boat loads of strength and courage!!!! Your blog readers have your back baby!!!!
Lynn in RI

ryry the adventurous said...

Aww wow! She really is a class act. :) That's so sweet of her! Isnt her site kinda addictive?? I find myself checking it like, 5 times a day...

SO GLAD to hear you are doing better. And I hope everything with the little one goes well. I am sure it will.

<3

Bethany said...

Wow--you spit the pizza out and threw it away? I'm very impressed! I don't think I've ever done that, unless the food tasted bad or something! :D
I'm hoping you get some relief from cabin fever soon! I hate being stuck in the house too...*Hugs*
~Bethany

Lynne said...

Perspective and a few hours of sleep; writing it down, reflecting. It's all good and I can see that you are really dealing with your problems and not letting them fester. Food is NOT the answer and I can tell that you have really been working on not using it as comfort.

I can't imagine the stress levels in your house, coupled with a sick kid, and snow. Yuck. Feel free to lean on me and all the others who consider you a friend!!

Stephanie said...

Funny how an email can lift you up. I'm glad you got what you needed when you needed it. Funny how that works.

Just wanted to send cyber hugs. You are doing so well, keep it up. Attitude is everything.

spunkysuzi said...

I'm impressed that you threw the pizza in the garbage even after taking a bite!!
And i agree with the support that can come from our blogs!! I have to agree that my readers really do give me a boost some days when i really need it :)

Leticia said...

Lyn - I am so happy that you are feeling better today and very impressed that you SPIT the Pizza out! Yesterday, I squirted lotion on a piece of German Chocolate Cake that I wanted to eat so bad so I totally get it. :o)

And as a faithful reader of Ree at the Pioneer Woman and the Pioneer Woman Cooks...I am super super impressed that she sent you an email.

maggie said...

It is SO easy for me to get envious of other people's lives so I can really relate to your last post. And usually once I find out a little bit more about them, I'm heartened to find that they're real people with problems.

Good luck continuing to be strong in the face of all your adversity!

Bunny Trails said...

I am so happy today is a better day... but I had no doubt it would be. You are obviously a strong, brave lady! I wrote a little about you in my blog yesterday. I hope you don't mind. You inspire me though :) Here's to many, many more 'better days'! Oh, and Pioneer woman sure does seem like a class act. That was pretty cool of her!

~TMcGee~ said...

Good on her for sending you an understanding email. I was worried after some of the comments that were left she would hear about it and then maybe be upset.
I am very proud of you for spitting out that pizza, that took some mental strength!
I hope you get to have some time out of the house this weekend or next. What will you do on Christmas? Anyway, so many of us love ya, Lyn, many hugs your way.

Linda Meacham said...

I'm glad today is better! It's amazing how supportive and encourging the people of this blogosphere can be. I too had an email waiting for me this morning that completely put a smile on my face!


You sound like you live here....? I live in Spokane WA. We've been single digits with all the schools being delayed a couple hours, and having the winter storm warning/watch and are getting snow today.

Do you live in this region?

Lyn said...

Linda~

Let's just say I live in the Pacific Northwest :)

bbubblyb said...

Glad you're feeling better today and way cool that Pioneer woman sent you a sweet email. Way to go on spitting out the pizza I would probably have eaten the bite and put the piece back in the fridge so the kids could ask, who bit off this piece lol.

The Duchess of Wessex said...

Lyn -

Remember that you Rock and that you're strong and powerful EVEN when you aren't remembering it!

Your Bloggers (me) love you so lean, lean, lean whenever you need, need, need!

Best,

Janet

Kimberly said...

I'm glad you are feeling more in control today. Sometimes it is just mind over matter until it isn't about that but about doing what is good for you because you really desire to do it with all of the inspiration required.

Annimal said...

That weird hip pain could possibly be lower back muscle spasms. The pain often travels via the sciatic nerve. Try some very gentle back stretches and advil/aspirin to decrease muscle inflammation. A slower-paced long walk on a flat surface helps too.
You might not be able to do the bike just now, and I know that's a problem with the weather, but can you mall walk??

Anonymous said...

Awwwww, Lyn, you give US (your loyal fans and dedicated readers):)so much of yourself, your heart and your soul, I am so glad you feel some support from us too.

Hang in there...the "fixture" will soon be gone, at least for a short while.

Karen in TN

Ceres said...

You are strong and you are wonderful, and you WILL get out of this :-) My thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

I am the queen of lurkers Lyn, and this is the second time I have come out of hiding! :0) I want you to know, I love reading your blog.

I know things aren't easy for you right now. But you have an insight and courage that I think is rare and deserves its notice. That's what comes across in your writing.

I come back day after day to check up on you and see what you have to say. Thanks for taking the time to write. I almost felt like your expression of appreciation was written expressly for me!

- Dina

Ria said...

Kudos to you for taking your own fine advice and just putting that pizza in the trash! Your writing about spitting/throwing junk out when you have a moment of clarity has helped me so very much.

Glad to hear that you're feeling better today - here's hoping your hip is back to normal soon too.