Monday, September 1, 2008

September 1, 2008: 225 Pounds

This morning I was roused from my slumber by a little girl pouncing on the bed at 6:30am. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, prepared to face reality, and hopped on the scale. It said 225 pounds. Yes, folks, it's a gain. For the first time in a year of blogging, I have an overall GAIN for the month. And not just ANY gain... a really significant gain: ten pounds.

Putting on ten pounds in a month is nothing new. Back in the day before I was trying to get a grip, I would often gain large amounts of weight in a short time. As a matter of fact, I gained 40 pounds in 3 months once. So yeah, I can't let this go on any further, or my "after" pictures are going to look worse than my "before" ones.

But let's be honest here. I didn't regain ten pounds by following a healthy eating plan. This is the result of letting bad habits back into my life all summer long. Eating sugary and salty stuff, eating fast food, slacking on the veggies. Some friends here in blogland have suggested to me that my recent struggles may be tied to eating too much fruit. I spent some time really thinking about that, and concluded that for ME, I don't think that's the case. After all, last August one of the first things I started doing was eating a boatload of fruit, and I lost 13 pounds. I have eaten a lot of fruit all along this journey and lost weight. And frankly I have eaten WAY more snacky, processed junk food than I have fruit this month. So I am gonna cut out the junk first, and if I still struggle, I may have to set some limits on the fruit. But for me, there is something really important in the fruit. When I am craving a sweet, I can enjoy a juicy peach instead of a donut. When I am hungry and just want to EAT, I can have a bowl of watermelon or cantaloupe and be full. I feel good after I eat it. I think eating a bit of fat or protein WITH the fruit is a good idea to slow the sugar-to-bloodstream phenomenon, though.

Anyway, I never thought I would lose 110+ pounds without ever having to post a gain, so I am not discouraged. But I am also NOT going to just accept it and keep screwing around. I have let the fat girl out of her cage for too long. Time to put her back. Time for some discipline.

And so I am making a new commitment: I am going to have a good week. I am not going to eat stupid stuff this week at all. You know what I mean. The unplanned trips through the drive-thru. The plate piled high with pizza. The cookies or chips or hot dogs. There is no point in eating like that unless you're trying to hurt yourself. I will also get back to the business of exercising. Make no mistake about it, if I had been biking, lifting and walking this month I would *not* have gained ten pounds. But I slacked off and got lazy. Not anymore. I commit to bike 30 minutes, 6x/week, and to lift weights 3x/week. I will start taking those short, ten minute after-dinner walks again, too. And another thing: I will go back to my GOOD habit of brushing and flossing my teeth immediately after dinner. That was something that helped me immensely and kept me from eating at night.

What will you do to improve your life this month? It's not impossible, you know. You really CAN lose the weight. You don't have to get up every morning and be sad about your weight, and you don't have to feel like a failure because you can't seem to "stay motivated." Don't worry about motivation. Just put down the cookies and do it. Stop eating the junk, start eating more produce and lean protein, and get moving. You can do this, every day. And don't let a setback stop you from achieving your dreams.

I'm bringing healthy back. For good!

25 comments:

Dawn said...

You will do it. You know what you have to do. We all have lapses during the weight-loss process but what matters is that you realize what you're doing wrong and stop doing it. You have a great attitude. That makes a big difference in losing the weight.

Deb said...

Hi Lyn, thanks for the comment on my blog. OK, so we both had less than stellar August's. But we both have a plan for doing well in September. I look forward to seeing your success. And I admire the way you take complete ownership and responsibility. I really think that is an important key to success.

Linda said...

Deb - I mentioned you over at my blog. Pop over if you have time. I'm with you. Today is day one of my "Lose 25 pounds by year-end Challenge" for myself. Like you I need to find the discipline. For me I need to set my mind on seeing food as fuel not fun. I just chopped up some fresh veggies and will do a watermelon next. If I have it handy and can find it in the fridge, maybe I'll be more inclined to eat better. Thank you for your honest approach to this process. Really.

Lisa said...

Hello I am new to your blog and I must say your attitude is absolutely amazing. It is so refreshing to see someone struggling with weight and still stay positive. I read your blog everyday or two and try desperately to take your positive attitude with me. I have also struggled with my weight in recent years (loosing 20 lbs just to put that and more back on). So far I am still stuck in the wishing instead of acting stage but I am hoping that your stories will continue to amaze me and I will finally get up off my lazy a** and do something to live better. Any way great job with this site it is encouraging.

Dinah Soar said...

You know Lyn, I was wondering after I'd posted a comment a couple of days ago if you were doing your exercises...that makes a big difference...and I think you are right about the processed snacky stuff..it may satisfy your taste buds but it doesn't stay in the stomach long and I think it promotes cravings...I'd agree that it's more likely to be the culprit instead of the fruit. Intuitive Eating has a chapter on eating healthfully so even when I make choices and consider what I am wanting or craving, I'm mindful of the value of those food choices in the bigger scheme of things.

I've been eating more food than I've actually wanted the past 2-3 days, so I'm making a concerted effort to not only be mindful, but to respond to the knowledge of my mind---like: why am I eating this when I don't even want it????

Like you, I can gain weight easily---gained 20 pounds in 10 weeks in 2005---and guess what I was eating mostly during that time--for 3 meals a day--cheap fast food. Meat biscuits for breakfast, burger and fries for lunch and again at night. And in between, sweet treats like premium ice cream at the mall because I was killing time. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to solve the "mystery" in my case...although at the time I was dumbfounded, thinking how did this happen, I must have a thyroid problem (I was craving carbs then too, like nobody's business). If we examine our behavior we can often figure out reasons "why" we behave as we do.

Way to go on your resolve--I know you'll will achieve all your goals and then some.

Karyn said...

Your writings have been an inspiration to all of us. Do you go back and read your own blog archives? The July 29 post about split second decisions may inspire you and help you to get back on track for good, for example. Reading about your OWN insights and successes could be the very thing that helps you to shed the bad habits you've given in to over the summer. After all, you have helped us, why not yourself?

thinner.me said...

You always say the things I'm feeling! I do wake up sometimes sad about the weight. I have pigged out all weekend since I spent the it alone. I guess my thinking was "no one will know." My scale knows and I hate that I did it. But I will not give up. I will try this week to think and eat like a healthy person.

Lyn said...

linda - not sure if you meant that comment for me or for Deb, but I can't find your blog?!?

dinah - yeah, I totally slacked in the exercise department, and it shows. But today is different. I already biked! Woohoo!

karyn - I used to go back and read my blog posts. I ought to do that again. I do inspire myself sometimes. lol :)

Thanks everyone for the kind comments and support!

Anonymous said...

Oh Good for you for taking responsibility! So many times I blame everything but ME for what I ate! Heres what I am committing to doing...reading my Beck response cards several times a day, writing down what I ate, even the bad stuff, and taking responsibility! Thanks for the swift kick to the backside, I needed it! Becca

Kate said...

You'll be back down soon. I think there are times we start taking our losses for granted, then it's easy NOT to be mindful of our eating and our exercise... something we need to do continuously.

~Kate
Fabulous @ 50

new*me said...

I have every confidence that you will be posting a great loss next month. Maybe you needed to hit bottom to pick yourself back up again with a greater resolve to be where you want to be. I am so excited to see your posts this month as you continue to motivate and inspire me every step of my journey.

Mrs. Darling said...

yep Ive struggled this labor day weekend but its not for long. Tomorrow the festivities end. Im actually looking forward to getting back in the saddle so to speak.

Ten pounds could be discouraging but your attitude will pull you out of this. One thing for sure no one will ever accuse me of eating too much fruit. I could only wish. I have to force myself to get even one serving of fruit down a day!

MargieAnne said...

Hi. Thanks for your Blog.

I picked up a reference to your Blog a week or two ago and have now completed reading from day 1 in your archives.

You have written your struggles, victories and wrestling with addiction with great candour. I take my hat off and bow before you.

I know part of the yo-yo effect of the last few weeks is trying to deal with Life and the stresses placed on you currently. But have you thought about this? .... Do you think you might have challenged your Comfort Zone?..... .... maybe you have ... I don't read comments as well as the main entry.

You have made an amazing difference to your life. You look better, feel better and can do quite a lot of exercise in a day. I know when I get rid of the physical pain, can move easily, feel good in my clothes, I get slack. Sure I want to lose more weight, my journey is barely past the first third. I am struggling with yo-yo weight and trying to find the place where I lose consistently again.

Do we need to look at where we are, examine our goals and get out of a Comfort Zone so we can move into consistent success again?

One step forward and 2 backward is not what I want but it seems as though I am at risk of doing just that ... what about you?

The question I ask is ..... have you found a subconscious comfort zone that you need to break out of?

Who said this adventure called life would be easy ..... but it is an amazing adventure (apologies to DietGirl)

Bless you as you win through the current battle.

~Crystal said...

I love your attitude and even with a gain, you are positive and motivating to others. Thanks!! What am I going to do? Well, I am losing weight with Weight Watchers so my goal is to count points faithfully and exercise daily...something I lack and need to do more of. You are right, we CAN do this and we WILL do this!

Lauren said...

great post. Good motivator. I for one can only commit to today, but I will do my best. I find when I try to commit for the week, I get overwhelmed.

Heather said...

I know you will have a good month and subsequent months afterwards. yes it sucks that you have to claim a gain for the month, but at least you know why. to me, that is so much better than working hard and seeing a gain and know understanding. but you are in control over what happens and if you dont want to see a gain, then you never will have to again as long as you just keep working at it.

Marshmallow said...

I'm bringing healthy back.

Sounds like someone needs to write a Justin Timberlake parody!

What am I going to be doing to be healthier this month... well, I'm going to focus on training. Nutrition for training, exercise for training, and what I'm typically not good at, recovery for training. I've got a big poster at work which I've printed out which says "What would Kek do?", since she's become a real inspiration for me.

Kim T, said...

One of the things I learned in counseling/clinical psychology class is that relapse is an expected and normal part of the process in getting better. You're definitely doing the right thing in not letting it discourage you! :)

Twix said...

Oh sweety let the fat girl out of her cage. She can be a monster and escape, see. Just let her out and teach her how she can become a new gal with a new role and name. You have made huge accomplishments so far and should be proud!

Protein is what has been making a difference for me. I don't have so many cravings. I have huge problems with fruit. I might have to try your suggestion and try both at the same time cuz I really like fruit. Just can't eat much because it get real munchy lol.

Great plan to get back on track!! High five!

Me? I'm going to take Half Man's suggestion he gave me, get out earlier and take more walks. he's right, I did better when I started my day off focused!

Have a fantastic Tuesday!!! Hello September!

Christy_Ann said...

I just finished reading your "Food as Avoidance" post. Wow! I over-eat all the time... but what am I trying to "avoid"??? Good question! Mostly, I'm just happy to think about food for a little while and not the sadness, boredom and resentment that constantly weight me down.

That all sounds rather dramatic, doesn't it?

Hanlie said...

Trust me, it's not the fruit! It's the sweet and salty processed snacks...

Good for you for getting back in the saddle. Sometimes we take a little step backwards, but overall, you're moving forward. Well done, girl!

Lynne said...

Sept 1, DAY 1, New start, Big losses in sight.... You can do it!!

Ceres said...

We'll make it happen, Lyn. Hang in there :-)

Chubby Chick said...

Ya know what? NONE of us got fat by eating too much fruit. I do think it's a good idea to add some protein to your fruit snacks though. How about a few walnuts or a low-fat string cheese? Yum! :)

Chellie has Issues said...

Way to go. It's hard to tell that fat girl to shoosh sometimes isn't it? Healthy girl is making outstanding choices! Have you thought of getting a bike and trailer to pull the 3 year old behind you as you workout. I love dragging my 2 turkeys in it!