Friday, August 29, 2008

Think yourself fat?

Well, it looks like it's time for me to accept that I am going to have to post a gain this month. It sucks, but there is really no way I am going to drop 9 pounds in 2 days. That's what happens, folks, when you do the lose-gain-lose-gain dance with yourself... eat healthy 2/3 of the time and eat crap 1/3 of the time... and stop making the effort needed to get healthy.

The fact is, I did the same thing this month that I did last month. I lost weight and gained it, over and over. A rapid cycle of yo-yoing between 214 and 225 pounds. I know it can't be good for my body. But I am not going to play the "all-I-eat-is-baked-chicken-and-salad-but-I-can't-lose-weight" card. Every pound I have lost in the last year has been EARNED. It didn't drop off because I just "felt like" losing weight. It came off with a lot of hard work, and a lot of effort in paying attention to my eating. And I just didn't work hard enough this summer. Period.

I am pretty proud of myself for hanging in there, though. And I will lose the weight. I eat really healthy all day and then I get lazy around 4pm and start grabbing snacks. And if my dinner isn't planned, I mess that up too. So that's what I will work on from now on. That, and getting back to exercising.

I have been in a denial of sorts for the last 2 weeks. I knew my weight was up, but when I would eat healthy for a couple days I would lose a few pounds. I figured "oh, I will lose the extra pounds by the end of the month. It'll be fine." NO WAY did I want to post a GAIN on this blog. I have never had a GAIN before. Now I am finally facing facts. So that's your warning... bad news coming on Sept 1!!

My goal now is to get back down below 214 in September. That is doable. I have to drop the excuses, though. Some of the stuff that keeps us fat are just THOUGHTS that run through our heads:

Eh, just one day won't matter. I will eat chips today and then never again.
Oh, I really want to try that food. I will eat it and start again tomorrow.
A couple pounds isn't anything. It will come right back off. No big deal.
I deserve a day off.
I am sick of paying attention to what I eat. I am taking a break.
At least I am maintaining. (Even when I have gained some pounds, I think this).
Well, I did eat healthy MOST of the day.
I am tired, I need some sugar. I will make up for it later.
I don't feel like biking today.

All those thoughts add up to POUNDS. Funny how that happens.

In church when I was a kid, they always told us that our thoughts become our actions. They said that, basically, "as a man thinketh, so is he." They warned us that if we thought about doing something often enough, we would probably eventually do it. It never made sense to me as a kid, but now I get it. Now I see how simple thoughts shape behaviors which, in turn, shape our very lives... and our bodies.

Let's get to shaping things in a better direction. Starting now.


Ranaesheart said...

Lyn ~ Your honesty is enlightening and your "can do" attitude is what makes you a winner ... never, never, ever give up!

May I suggest that you consider making a list of each excuse and then make three statements underneath each excuse that tells why that thought is not true ... an excuse buster list ... and then keep it posted on your cupboard door, refrigerator and/or in your purse. Sometimes it helps to have to read it and make a "conscious" decision.

Best wishes ~

new*me said...

I know you are heading in the right direction. I think it's commendable that you are posting your gain. At least you are facing it head on and not letting it push you into deep denial. Maybe after 4 pm you could chew gum....keep the mouth busy! I like what Roni mentioned she did occasionally when she felt a binge coming on. She'd make a mess load of butternut fries and eat them all. It's a binge, yes, but if you feel it coming on, better something healthy. I try to have lots of veggies in front of me and eat them until it passes. I am excited to see how September shapes up for you! We're all rooting you on ;)

Chubby Chick said...

You know what you need to do in September... and I have every confindence that you WILL do it. You are not a quitter... you are a fighter... and that's going to lead to weight loss and good things in September and beyond! :) said...

Your persistence is inspiring -- and so is your matter-of-fact approach. Hang in there! Sometimes I find more mental strength in the fact that I'm keeping on rather than the times I lose easily (few that they are). We aren't perfect.

Lori said...

We all have those thoughts. A lot of times they aren't just thoughts - we speak them aloud to justify the cookies, cakes, chicken wings, beer or whatever it is we want at the moment.

I'm pulling for you Lyn :)

~Crystal said...

Hang in will overcome this fight with obesity, especially if you have the fight, determination and confidence that "you can and will do this!" Always make sure you have healthy "binge" food in your house just-in-case. You won't feel so guilty when it happens and your body won't be overloaded with sugars & fats that it's not used to...all things I'm sure you've heard before, but I know how support from others can sometimes help. Hang in there!!!!!

Ceres said...

Ouch, I think I needed this kick in the butt as well, as I'm sure to post a gain on September 1st too :-( Hang in there, we'll make it happen, September will be a good month, I know so!

WebRover said...

I won't be saying anything you didn't already know and helped you succeed so far.

Sounds like a planned and prepared snack ready for you at 4 o'clock would be helpful. And also some prepped healthy snacks for the evening. I know if it's easy to grab a container with prepped veggies or fruit and I would have to go hunt down an unhealthy snack, the ready-to-eat one wins. Also I found I needed a snack at 3 pm to prevent getting irrationally hungry and willing to eat ANYTHING.

You can and will do it - drop those 9 pounds - and then go on to defeat the next pounds.


spunkysuzi said...

I think you have stuck through the hard stuff, gaining and losing and gaining and losing!! Now you have to dip deep to stop that roller coaster, and knowing that i have a tendency to do exactly the same i know where your coming from.
September is here we will do it ;)

Heather said...

I think once this month is over, next month will be great for you. you learned a lot this month and while sure, it does suck to have gained back hard earned pounds you lost, sometimes we need these challenges so that we can learn and grow. I think thats exactly what you did and now you can start a new month and never look back.

Anonymous said...

I think the best diet advice I ever received was eat a large breakfast, a medium sized lunch and a small dinner. In my own experience a lot of eating in the evening is what really keeps the weight on, no matter what people will say about it's total calories etc. You sleep better that way too.

elife said...

The truth will set us free, my friend. Whenever I've been in deep denial about my weight, I continue to gain. When I hit a high of 220 several years ago, I thought I could play one of the head games you listed.

When I was finally ready to be honest with myself, I figured the WORST the scale could be was 240. I chuckled to myself because I thought this was such a overestimate and I was in for a nice surprise. I was 270.

So the fact that you turned it around after 9 pounds, means you are not in denial, and back on your way.

Sunny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sunny said...

I think it's kindof nice that you will post a gain. Was I wishing for it? Of COURSE not!!! But gains are almost always a part of the journey. You've revealed so much honesty and truthfulness and it's good for me and a lot of others I'm sure to see what you think and how you feel about a you deal with it. What your attitude is like....

You've handled it with class (as usual) and determination to get back to the task at hand. That is what's so inspiring about your blog..... your honesty and your attitude.

You'll be on fire in September! Good luck!

Dinah Soar said...

You said:

"I knew my weight was up, but when I would eat healthy for a couple days I would lose a few pounds."

My first thought is this--eating healthy a couple of days doesn't yield "pounds" takes under-eating by 3500 calories to lose 1 pound--it's difficult to lose one pound of fat in a couple of days let alone more than one pound.

My conclusion: what you thought were pounds lost were weight fluctuations-- normal ones-- but not fat lost.

My point: weighing more than once every 7-10 days yields unreliable can give you the false notion that you've lost weight/fat--because the number is down--which can lead to thinking "I can slack off, take a breather".

None of us is perfect, we've all-- those of us who've made the effort to lose weight--gone's inevitable...because we are learning as we go.

That old scale doesn't tell the whole story and can hinder us --my advice to you is follow your eating plan and limit checking your weight.

Also--is needing an afternoon snack new? IF it is you might look at your food choices from breakfast and lunch--maybe make some adjustments there...that can be a rough time period for me, especially if I've under eaten breakfast and lunch...I learned that saving those calories for the evening is counterproductive--it always bites me in the butt.

Karyn said...

You are right,'s all in our thoughts. That is what I have discovered this last 8 1/2 months, we win the battle in our minds first, then in our behavior. Goodness knows, I've modified my behavior more times than I can count but until my mind was ready to be changed, all the calorie counting, exchange countin, fad diets, etc etc etc did no good because I used those exact thought processes and justifications you have listed.

Once the key is found and used, success will follow - I'm convinced of it!

I'm looking forward to seeing a BIG loss on your blog by the end of Sept!