Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Words of Wisdom

When I cried out for help a week and a half ago, I had no idea what an outpouring of support and real, true caring would result. I was surrounded and embraced by the words and prayers sent by over a hundred different people who I have never met, and the results are amazing. Such positive energy... such a tangible feeling of being pulled up and back onto my feet... how could I stay down? How could I not draw strength from that? And I thank you.

I know I am not alone in my struggles. We all have terrible things happen to us in our lives. Loved ones die, people betray us. We have health problems. Our jobs cause us stress and distress. Our children grey our hair, or perhaps we long for children unborn. People we love, stop loving us back. We get lonely. We hurt. We cry.

I want to share some of the words of wisdom that I received while I was falling into that black abyss of hopelessness. I can't possibly share each and every message that touched my heart... as each of them has... but a few that I think may help others who are also struggling. ALL of the comments are available for your reading pleasure on my post of 6/15. I also received some very touching, wonderful personal emails from even more folks reaching out to me. Thank you all.

And so, for those in pain, those struggling, I hope some of these excerpts help you as much as they helped me.

Try to remember that this deep, dark place you find yourself in is just that - a place. It isn't a part of who you are, it isn't in your soul. ~Shannon

There's an old saying in AA -- "There is nothing so bad that a drink won't make worse." We can certainly say the same for food in your case. Don't make it worse! Regaining your control over your food will make you feel better and stronger and will help you face what you are facing right now. ~Betsey C.

There are things in life.. trials we must go through.. sometimes when we least expect it.. sometimes when we sort of expect it and sometimes we are blindsided... food is not going to fix this or make it better.. Dig down deeper than the darkness .. find the strength to let the food go. ~Honi

You are not changing your life and your habits for WEIGHT LOSS of all things. Sure, it is a side effect, but so much of what you have written about has been an improvement in your quality of life. You have gained a sense of self, of control, and of mastery. The tools you have learned will help you through this (and many other) challenges. All of it is in the service of being the best YOU you can be, and having the best LIFE you can have. Do not eat well because you want the scale to budge. Eat well because you need the energy, the clarity, the peace of mind to make good decisions during a difficult time. ~Mal

one piece of advice is this, don't think about it. there is no good reason to think about it. when a moment for a decision comes, then think, but up until then it will only damage you to give in to thoughts about it. be careful what you say to yourself in these days and what you let you mind rest on. ~Lasserday

Don't doubt yourself! You can make it, without the FALSE comfort of food. Get angry at that damn food. Don't be fooled by it. You already know it will make you fat and MORE miserable. ...If you're angry, be angry. Scream! But don't eat and put all that weight back on. YOU HAVE WORKED WAY TOO HARD TO BE TRICKED BY FOOD. ~cindy

Don't let all of this time of hard work and sacrifice go to waste into a jar of hot fudge! Many of us have episodes where we give in and medicate ourselves with food over stressful situations. The real key is getting back on track again quickly so you can be even stronger. ~Anonymous

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt ~left by deanna

the bad diet won't help you at all beyond the moment. Don't let this situation take away your resolve to take care yourself. You may lose a lot, but not your right to the beautiful healthy body you have been working so hard and so successfully for. It's hard, allow yourself to admit that it will be hard to turn your diet around, but you know you can. But, it will be easier the sooner you do it....On the news the other night I heard a quote that really love. I may not have it exactly right, but it goes something like this. "Don't live your life waiting out the thunderstorms, learn to dance in the rain." ~beverly

What you are going through is hard...really sickeningly hard, but you can control your eating through this. It's going to do nothing for you but make you hate your own behavior and right now you need to be strong... Put down the sugary snacks, say no to the junk food. Take back control of your eating habits... No matter what the outcome with you and your husband it's not worth losing yourself over... You will get through this. Remember to love yourself. ~Ready to Shrink

Ultimately, you can't eat your way out of this, and you know that. If you go on eating, that's self sabotage, and you're better than that... you don't deserve that... Remember, no matter how deep that chasm feels when you are betrayed, there IS ground under your feet, and someone there to catch you... even if it's just yourself. It may not feel like it now, but some day you will look back at this from a place of safety and the feeling of helplessness will be gone. ~Fab Kate

Picture solid ground beneath your feet. Picture steps to lead you out of that pit. ~laine

And this. How can we not draw strength from this? We are SO not alone:

DO NOT GIVE UP.Major hugs and support from Europe, Bosnia and Herzegovina. Dearest Lynn, I survived war, horrible war, lost so many friends and relatives. People I adored and loved just vanished. Yet after everything I went through, I couldn’t find an inspiration, help or love to save myself from dying inside and from the obesity dungeon where I was locked (you can not imagine how many emotions, memories, feelings were staffed with sugar and grease). I didn’t care for anything, even my beautiful healthy little girls. Then I started reading you, my first step on a long “self journey”, I laughter with you, I cried with you, I eat with you, I walked with you. For me you were a long lost friend that I found, someone that knows me so well, someone that cares, someone that holds my hand.Dearest Lynn, I am not alone, so many women, and men I guess, felt the same. I guess now is a perfect time for me to thank you for holding my hand, and please know that I am holding yours so tight that it hurts.Please excuse my second language English! Love Friend

Sit there and go as deeply into the blackness as you can. Feel every bit of it. Go as deeply into all the feelings as you can and feel them as completely as possible. Feel every inch, millimeter, molecule. Sit with those feelings long and hard, until you feel them begin to ebb just a tiny bit. Just feeling them intensely will help them ebb. They don't need to go away completely, but try to sit it out just until the wave of negativity and despair crests. If you can do that a couple of times a day, and I believe it will help you regain control. ~Christina, via email

I am the master of my own future, how I react to the situation or if I want to call my own shots. Don't be powerless! Excercise, use that time to clear your head. As hard as it is, it really helps! Eat well, you are going to need all your strength, in case the time comes for you to make a few decisions of your own. Show him that he does not have that much power of you. Be strong! ~Shanna, via email

You can, IN THIS MOMENT, choose to stop the binge. You can't stop the hurt. You can't predict what may or may not happen with your spouse...but in this VERY MOMENT, you can decide to stop eating destructively. In a time when so little is out of our control, this one SMALL thing *is* in our control. ~Michelle, via email

Sending hope, peace and love across the miles. May all of us work through our struggles and come out stronger in the end.


Katschi said...

THAT'S love, baby!

Teale said...


Ceres said...

Sending tons of smiles your way :-)

MizFit said...

serious love.

the blogworld is amazing that way.


Ready to Shrink said...

I never expected to find such a loving and supportive blog community as I have experienced and witnessed on our blogs. Hugs and love to all of you! And especially to you are so doing this, I hope that our well wishes continue to give you strengt, and your strength continues to be our inspiration.

MB said...

There is so much amazing support out here. We're all here for you to lean on and remind you how strong you really are.