Thursday, June 19, 2008

Strength

Here I am again. I am finding out that when I focus on weight loss/health, I am happier and I have more peace. Yes, I have a lot going on right now and a lot of negative stuff, and I am dealing with it on an "as needed" basis. For the first few days (the binge days) I felt obsessed with my problems. I spent every waking moment worrying, stressing, crying, being angry, being afraid, and, of course, eating. But I gradually started to turn my focus back over to healthy eating, and I made an amazing discovery.

I cannot control what other people in my life do, and I cannot make them be nice, fair, honest, kind, or loving. However, I have complete control over what I put in my mouth, how much I exercise, and whether I stay fat or not.

When I focus on what I CANNOT control, I am miserable.
When I focus on what I CAN control, I am happier.

So I am choosing to get right back to the business of being healthy. Don't get me wrong. I am heartbroken. My life is probably going to get a lot more complicated. But what good is it going to do me to wallow? Why sit in a puddle of despair if I don't have to? I am going to focus on the joys in my life, like my beautiful children. And my amazing friends, right here.

I also had another thought this morning. I realized that my weight loss journey may have prepared me, in a way, for this crisis. I have changed so much in the last ten months. The strength I have found within myself is astounding to me. Saying no to bad foods, and forcing myself to eat right and exercise regardless of what I *felt* like doing, built character and fortitude. Or maybe it just brought out what was hidden all along. I don't think I would have had the strength to deal with this a year ago. I think I would have flipped out completely.

Today I rode my bike for 25 minutes. Tonight I am going to strength train (because I like feeling strong). And I am 219 pounds. And you know what? I am going to make it. (And so are you.)

26 comments:

Katrina said...

*big hug*

Heather said...

that is so true...you can only control your own actions, not others, so its best to focus on yourself and what you can do. I think its an interesting thought that this prepared you...I am a big believer in things happening for a reason and while I am sure that this isnt the only reason that you are doing this, strengthening you is definitely an important one.

deanna said...

fantastic post, you are SO right ! glad you saw the strength within yourself, and the resolve to know that you can not control everything in life. This post helped me more than you know. Thanks!!!

Ames said...

AWESOME!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, Yes AND YES!!!
I am rooting for you, I knew you would find that inside yourself. Thankyou for sharing it so perfectly written.
Heather

Anonymous said...

Hooray Lyn, I knew you were strong, I'm glad you realized it again too!
Schmoodle

Kailey said...

congrats on all your weight loss :)
your doing an amazing job!
everything will work out in the end. whats meant to be will always find its way.

good luck!

Jeper Drai said...

Thank you so much for being such an inspiration. I am looking forward to seeing where your path takes you.

JD

PERSEVERANCE said...

I have read your site quite often, and today you fell right in line with my own realization recently. Our daily lives and walk directly reflect our decisions. We decide how we will respond to the circumstances that strike our days, and those decisions result in our mood and who we are. I've linked you for some time on my blog, I hope you don't mind.

Ceres said...

I'm so happy to hear you speak like that! You are such great inspiration! Keep riding that bike :-)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the smile you just gave me! :)

Lisa

Anonymous said...

i quite agree with everything in your post....when everything around u is in chaos, at least your health can still be in check.........keep taking care of yourself as best you can....

May be rpemature to think about this but I think that when God is ready to send someone else your way, a healthier you should be there to greet them...your life is not over because your marriage may be....keep on loving yourself...u have no reason not to.

new*me said...

You are once again an inspiration to your readers. To find strength within yourself during a rough time makes you stronger and eventually even happier. Everything happens for a reason. I don't know your life or what is going on for you at the present moment. I too, have been through some very rough times in my life where I thought giving up would be easier than living through the pain. Each time I have seen that when one door closes, another one opens. Be strong! Love yourself :)

Ryry the Adventurous said...

God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Works for people with eating problems like us just as well as the next type of addict. :) I say it to myself every day!! You are so excellent, Lyn, and no matter what happens, you're going to come out on top, and I think you already know that.

Ready to Shrink said...

THERE SHE IS! :) I can see the real you again! The strong amazing astounding impressive woman that you have become through your journey is once again emerging to the forefront and taking control! Good for you chica. I am so proud of you for being strong through this. We are here for you and we are pulling for you every minute.

spunkysuzi said...

That is exactly how you do it. You control what you can and deal with what you can't as it comes! And looking after yourself has to be #1 ;)

RunningNan said...

Good for getting out there and riding. It's going to be ok.

kgrenier12 said...

You need to read "Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting" when you said how you focus on what you can control you are more positive...the power of positive thinking is immense.

Your blog is an inspiration to me. I've lost 38 and have 100 to go. I have 2 kids and have been up and down and also disappeared from the family photo albums. I started taking my photo again last year with my boys.

Keep posting - I feel like you write what I'm thinking.

Thanks,
Kerry

Fab Kate said...

:) good for you!

You go girl!

Anonymous said...

You brought tears to my eyes. You are truly an inspiration. Your clarity and honesty are to be commended. You can do this! Before you know it you are going to break the 199s!! I can't wait!

Dawn

Lasserday said...

sweet! i love that when i realize that although something sucks, i have, in one way or another, prepared myself to be better equipped to deal with it. amen on the control part, too! that is what i have found out also. it is a hard lesson to get, but once you get it, you can never not know it again. :)

Sueellen said...

I have been following you for a bit and this is my first comment. What a great post and you are so much stronger than even you think you are. I agree with Heather, there is a reason for everything and think of how strong you have become. You are such an inspiration to me and it helps keep me focused. The important thing is that you realized you were going backwards and you CHOSE to move forward and get back on your journey!

Honi said...

no truer words ever spoken.. we can not control others only ourselves.. hang in there.. and just keep on .. keeping on..

Leslie said...

Friendgirl:

Hang in there!

The best is yet to come!

Stay STRONG!
Stay POSITIVE!
Stay COMMITTED to the lifestyle change!

Make it AWESOME!

Les~

MB said...

and you're getting stronger every day.

Mal said...

The beautiful thing about natural processes is that they force us to learn lessons. Things like growing a garden CANNOT be rushed. You must get out there every few days and nurture the life. The same goes for strength training. You simply cannot build muscle over night. You have to get to it, repeatedly, and work even when it doesn't seem like it could make a difference. For me, THESE are the types of lessons that have helped me elsewhere in my life. I couldn't agree more that you are stronger now than you were a year ago. Not that we would invite personal disaster, but I think it's wonderful to see you face it for all of the good and bad that it brings.

Hang in there -- totally rooting for you.