Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Bits and Pieces

I have several little things I have been wanting to share, so I will start with the best news first! Today, I weighed in at 223 pounds. 223!! I am just in awe of the number. I can't get my head around it. Then I realized that I have lost 55 pounds... which means I am halfway to my big goal of 168! I have lost HALF of 110 pounds, which was my original goal weight. Of course, I know that I would still technically be "overweight" at 168, but I will take it. And maybe I will set a new goal when I get there, like losing another 10 or 15 pounds. But when I started this journey, trying to lose 120 or 130 pounds was just too much for my brain. Just thinking about having THAT MUCH to lose would send me into a feeding frenzy. It is such an impossibly large number. But 110 seemed like an awful lot, too. In fact, when I started this blog, I didn't really think I could do it. But look! I am halfway there! I am so excited about this.

Part of me also says, "WHAT??? I have worked SO hard and lost all this weight and I still have to lose at least 55 more pounds? UGHHH!!!" But most of the time, I am just happy and excited to be where I am.

I remember last June (it is ALMOST June so that's one year ago) when I weighed 278 pounds. It gets pretty hot here in the summer, so I had gone out and bought several nice new tank tops and sleeveless shirts (my size at the time was 26/28 or 3x). They all looked so nice on me (I thought?) Anyway, last week it got into the high 90's here so I went and got out all these nice new tops from last summer. (Yes I have fat arms, but no I am not going to suffer in the heat just to hide them). I put on the first one... WAY too big. Tried the second one. SWIMMING on me. Tried the third, fourth, fifth... all the shirts from last summer... and they are all SO BIG on me that I cannot possibly wear them! Mind you, I will wear bigger clothes just to get by, but there is no way I could wear any of these without looking like a clown in a potato sack. I could have fit one of my teenagers in there with me! I had to retire those shirts, and go to Wal-Mart for some cheap new tank tops to get me by this summer. And guess what! I got to shop in the NORMAL SIZE section!! Not the plus size!! Holy cow! I had read other people who say they felt like everyone was looking at them like, "why are you in this section? You're too big." I thought that was silly. But that is JUST how I felt. Like I was in forbidden territory or something! Funny. Anyway I found some shirts that fit me... size 16!! And they were cheaper than the Plus size shirts. They were only $5. Amazing.

Now, about the number 223. It is a special number. I blogged about it way back here... in my second post ever! I wrote:

"at what point will I no longer be severely obese? ...when my BMI is under 35, I am just "obese." To reach that goal I must weigh 223 pounds! Wow, that sounds skinny at this point! So... lose 23 pounds and I am no longer morbidly obese. Lose another 32 pounds and I am no longer severely obese. For a grand total of 55 pounds I must lose to REACH "obesity." And then, I suppose, I can escape from that as well. "

Yes, folks, according to most accurate BMI charts, I was first morbidly obese, and then severely obese. And now, at 223, I am just obese. Yay, right? Well... a little wrinkle in my carefully thought out calculations. BMI is based on height and weight. This might sounds stupid, but I was always told I was 5'7. So I assumed I am. However, at my last doctor appointment they said I was 5'6!! WHAT?? If that is true, it throws my whole BMI off. It means I have to lose MORE weight to be normal weight... MORE weight to be just obese! It screws up all the calculations. And those of you who understand the importance of numbers get where I am going with this. I mean, if you thought you weighed 240 and suddenly found out your scale is off by 10 pounds and you really weigh 250, it FEELS like you are fatter and have ten MORE pounds to lose.

So, yesterday I took a deep breath, grabbed a book, a pencil and a tape measure and stood as tall and straight as I could against the bathroom wall. I looked it the mirror and I marked my height on the wall. I did this three times to be sure I was being accurate. And... drumroll. I am, indeed, 5'6. BAH!! In fact, I am actually closer to 5' 5 1/2", but screw that. So I went back to my trusty BMI calculator to get my new numbers.

My starting BMI was 44.9 ... Morbidly Obese.
My current BMI is 36.0 ... Severely Obese.
To be just "Obese" I need to have a BMI under 35, meaning I must weigh 216 pounds. UGH. Why couldn't I just be an inch taller??

Anyway, it's ok. I am still 55 pounds down. When I lose 7 more, I will be out of the Severely Obese category. (You don't know how badly I just wanted to ignore that doctor and pretend I am still 5'7 so I have something cool to be excited about... but again, it's all about being honest with ourselves.) And to Escape from Obesity, and just be "Overweight" I need a BMI under 30, which will happen at 185 pounds. I will have a normal BMI (under 25) at 154 pounds. A lot to think about. But I AM going to do this.

Okay, I am off to ride my bike! Have a great day!


Mal said...

I'm really happy I found your blog. Congrats on your successes!

Anonymous said...

i totally remember reading that post, way back when! i think it is great that you have gotten here, and i know you do too. it is so interesting how it is kind of about perception, you know? like, 223 was important because of this calculation and now 216 is the number. i just knew, reading that post so long ago, that you would get to 223 and it would be huge and so now i just know that you will get to 216 and that will be a huge accomplishment. it is so cool how you have changed your life and become so much more comfortable. i say congrats on reaching this milestone (even if it was set with slightly inaccurate data)! :)

Sunny said...

OMGosh I love reading posts like this.....these thoughts and calculations are constantly running through my's fun to see the "thoughts" of others. Congratulations on 223!!! Wahoo! Who cares if things have changed a little bit in the meantime - - you were headed for that number, it was significant and now you've reached it - that is AWESOME!

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel! I'm only 5'3 and I have to get to a tiny 170lbs to not be in the obese catagory. 170lbs!! thats skinny to me!! Right now I'm at 180lbs and I have just started to be able to shop in regular peoples clothing again. Boy is that nice. Well keep up the good work and the encouraging words! You've come a long way!

beverly said...

Good job!

Deb said...

That is awesome you are halfway there. It has me next June will I be halfway there? Hmmmm..... Anyway, a big congrats to you. It is so encouraging to find people who are successful!

Melanie said...

Hi Lyn,
Congratulations! You are a real inspiration to me. Your halfway point makes me jump for joy! Keep up the wonderful work!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the 223. It's still a major milestone for you.

How great that this is a celebrations of shirts too big, smaller sizes, normal sizes and now it's time to ride the exercise bike. There was no statement of frustration leading to a desire to EAT. Even if it crossed your mind, it wasn't important enough to blog about. It's a disappointment, but just ". . . a little wrinkle in my carefully thought out calculations." What a different mindset from 55 pounds ago. Congratulations!


Heather said...

that is so exciting!! I an relate with the summer clothes becaue I had a similar experience. I pulled out all of my tops and they were huge. Sorry to see some of them go because they were cute, but Im not sorry to see the size go and Im sure you arent either. congrats on all your accomplishments!

MB said...

You should be proud of what you accomplished no matter what the BMI charts say. You're doing so great!

P.S. I've been voting for you :)

Dinah Soar said...

I'm so happy and excited for you reaching 55 pounds lost!

You've come so far and I'm enjoying reading about your journey. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

You go Lynn! congrats on your halfway. You are doing a great job and so funny. I remember going from severely obese to just obese and am now looking forward to being "overweight." Not many folks would understand that. I still can't wrap my head around shopping in the regular sizes. When I go to the mall I still head straight for Lane Bryant, and online I don't really know where to go anymore.

RunningNan said...

I know how that feels. I went my whole life thinking I was 5'4, and I'm actually 5'3.5. So I just go with 5'3, and work from there. I'm 157 and I'm still classified as overweight. I feel great inside though, so if 168 is where you are comfortable at, then go for it! You've come a long long way. We are all proud of you.

Congrats on the 223~

Twix said...

This is wonderfull!!! Very happy with you! Way to go! A size 16!! Wooo!!! Yea! :D Congratulations! Half way there, that is AMAZING!!