Saturday, March 1, 2008

March 1, 2008: 240 pounds

A new month has dawned, and with it, new hope and a new chance to change your life for good. Will you?

Today I weigh 240 pounds. I lost 8 pounds this month, after not losing ANY weight in December and January. I was able to get myself on track again with the help of a therapy light, getting more sun exposure, and counting calories religiously. I have been under 1500 calories every day but one for the last 2 weeks. I am riding my exercise bike for 14 minutes a day, three times a week. It's starting to pay off. This morning, most of my clothes were in the hamper. I had to dig into the depths of my closet to try and find something that would fit. I found a blouse I have not worn in two years, and it was very tight on me then. I didn't really want to wear it, but had no choice. I put it on, looked in the mirror, and said, "Hey! I look pretty good!" And it was true!

The last time I weighed 240 pounds was in 2003. I had started doing the South Beach Diet in May '03 weighing 270 pounds. By September, I weighed 237. I had lost 33 pounds. Then, fall and winter and holidays got to me, and I gained back ALL the weight and then some. So sad, really. I remember how great I felt, but I let it get away from me. Just like all the other times.

Before that, the last time I weighed 240 pounds was in early 1998. Ten years ago. Wow. Ten years of being 245+. It just sort of whizzed past. My kids grew up, my life went by, and I spent most of my 30's in a sugar haze surrounded by candy bar wrappers and empty pizza boxes. All I can say is, please don't let it happen to you.

I have never lost 38 pounds before in my life, either. I lost 33 on South Beach, and before that, I lost 34 pounds back in 1994 by counting calories and walking daily. That's the most weight I ever lost in my life, until now.

I know I have a ways to go, but this time I am really going to make it. I feel GOOD. The quality of my life is WORLDS better at 240 that it was at 278. I had no idea 38 pounds could make such a significant difference. I have more energy. I can walk up stairs like a normal person. As a matter of fact, yesterday I had to go to a meeting at my son's school. When I asked where the meeting was being held, the office worker pointed at a large staircase and said, "up there." A year ago my next sentence would have been, "where's the freight elevator?" because, as you know, most schools don't have elevators and there is no way I could have taken those stairs even if I tried for 15 minutes. I would have ended up collapsed in a heap on the stairs, crying in pain and embarrassment. Nothing says FAT like having to get into a huge freight elevator to get to a classroom meeting. Anyway, yesterday, I just said "thanks" and darted up the stairs... all 28 of them! Okay, maybe I didn't dart, but I went up rather quickly, like a normal person, without stopping to rest and without huffing and puffing by the time I got to the top. WHO KNEW 38 pounds could make me feel so alive again? Who knew I would feel like a normal human being again after ten years in fat prison?

My next big goal is to break that 237 pound barrier. I have not weighed less than that in a decade. It's a little scary in some ways, but really great and exciting in other ways. I am sure when I see 236 on the scale I will cry. I cannot even imagine it, even though I am only four pounds away. In my head, I am still 278. As a matter of fact, the other day I was reading a weight loss board and someone said they had gotten down to 268 pounds and I thought, "Wow, I wish I was 268 pounds..." Oops, wait a minute, no I don't. Hard to get my head around the fact that I am not aiming for the 260's anymore. I see the real numbers on my scale and it is always a shock that I have really lost this much weight.

Thank you all so much for your support. Your comments drive me to try harder. Knowing people care means so much to me. My escape from obesity is turning into a life-changing journey and I am so blessed to have you all along for the ride!

15 comments:

Lynne said...

We all have our mental hurdles... Mine is 190. I am 192 and those 2 lbs to get to the 180s have alluded me for 10 years! Whatever you have to do - DO IT...That is my goal for the week. Make it yours! You can cross that 237 mark. This week work the hardest you have and just DO IT... That is what I am striving for... Let's jump that hurdle together!!!!!!!! Go Lyn GO!!

Hanlie said...

You always inspire me! Thank you so much. Congratulations on your loss! And yay for NSV's!

Alexis said...

thank you to you also for sharing your journey with us. your positive words and honesty is what keeps me coming back for more :)

Vickie said...

I am so glad for you. That feeling of feeling BETTER at each step of the way - is just awesome.

Katschi said...

Congratulations, Lyn on hitting another milestone!

Phat Teacher said...

I love reading your blog! I have decided to start my own, but have no idea how to get the ball rolling and get readers! Any suggestions? I am on a 100 lb weight loss journey- thanks for any help! http://phatteacher.blogspot.com

Cammy said...

I'm so excited for you I'm bouncing in my chair, which helps me burn calories so thank you for that.

You are on the right track for a Life Change, and I (for one) will be thrilled to sit back and watch you fly!

Zaleya said...

I think you are doing great. Like you, I was at a happy weight (250) but let it get away from me. I know how hard it is and how hard you must be working. Keep up the good work!

Ready to Shrink said...

Awesome job! You are doing great and honestly changing the mindset is SO important. Knowing that every lb and every NSV is a step toward a healthy life is SO important.

Teale said...

I am like the queen of the mental roadblock, so I know what you mean here!

Christopher Maples said...

nice work! happy to see your progress. now can you pass some of it over this way??

Anonymous said...

Lyn, you don't know how inspiring you are TO ME. I have emotional problems with food, but I know my LIFE does not have to revolve around food. I REALLY KNOW you will make it, even when you have doubts or fears that you won't because I can see it in your writing. I can see something good working in you. YOu may not be religious, but I know this is God's work. Be careful and don't forget how great you feel now. Be careful with how you feel. YOU GO GIRL. Woohoo! You're writing is so honest and beautiful. I've never seen what you look like, but I know you are A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, and I really mean that.

I like how you once wrote that when you felt like eating, you just sat down and dealt with the pain, just let it sink in (separated your emotions from your physical hunger). Dang, that was really insightful. THANKS LYN.

-Cindy

teenage girl said...

that is truly amazing!!
congrats =]

Heather said...

way to go! so glad that you hung in there when the scale wasnt moving for you, because man did it move last month! I know you will succeed in making it to your next goal.

Danielle said...

You're fantastic!
Congrats for reaching 240!
You can do this. I'm sure of it!