Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Breakthrough

I just wanted to take a minute and report that I finally had a breakthrough. Last night, even though I wanted pizza, chips, and thick salami-cheese-mayo sandwiches on potato bread, I had a bowl of fresh beets for dinner, along with an Egg Beater omelet for protein, and some fresh pineapple for dessert. And this morning I weigh 239 pounds. Goodbye 240's, and don't come back!

A new era is dawning... one I never knew existed. One in which I actually can say NO to food that I crave that is bad for me. I am gaining a measure of control I never knew possible. I always had this panicky feeling I was incapable of being "in charge" of my intake. It's almost like an abusive relationship. I felt like the food was in charge, bossing me around, screaming at me, calling me names like "fatty" and "worthless." I cowered, the cravings dominated. I would plead in my head for relief but the food would prevail; I would binge and come out of my food battle with two black eyes every time. I really was afraid and felt bullied and beaten by the food, or the cravings, or the terribly out-of-control feelings I had about the whole situation. But like any abuser, the food is really just a coward. And I have finally gotten the courage to stand up to it and say, NO. This is MY life, I am NOT going to let you destroy me. I am taking control, and you.. you crazy binge monster... you can get the hell out. I am getting a restraining order against you.

That's how I feel. I feel free. I am empowered.

Don't let food bully you into a corner. It's all in your head. Step back, look at the food, and say NO. And then make a better choice, like a more compassionate partner who cherishes you and would never harm you. You deserve it.

14 comments:

Kathy said...

Good for you!
I used to feel that the mere thought of a certain food was reason enough to go eat it. With practice, I've come to realize that those thoughts pass if I divert my attention from them and just wait it out. And I've read that the cues become progressively weaker the more you ignore them!

Ms Ingrid said...

"Bad" foods (addictive) always try to bully you but are stronger than them. You just have to watch out.

And good foods are your friends.

That's the way I see it.

Teale said...

AMEN!!!!

Honi said...

sending a big high five your way and a great big hug congratulations..

Ryry the Adventurous said...

YES! FIGHT! WIN! Get that restraining order and make the bad foods pay you alimony... in the form of broccoli. :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Lyn,

Congratulations, good for you!! I KNOW you are on your way. I just wanted to bring up that it's not about the food. I used to think it was the food (when I would binge, I would hate food and wish cookies had never existed, I thought it was the enemy too) but I challenge you or just ask you to think about it having to do with YOU feeling like you're enough, like you're good enough to be a healthy person.

I just don't like to see food bashed when it's so good. Yeah, some foods are unhealthy, but you can't place a moral value (good or bad) on food. It's not healthy to think of it that way.

THANK YOU LYN. GOOD FOR YOU and be careful about what you decide to eat. YOU GO GIRL!

-Cindy

Lyn said...

Hey Cindy, thanks for your comments. I agree that food is neither moral or immoral. It is what we do with them that can be immoral. However, IMO there are bad foods. There is nothing redeeming about a Little Debbie Swiss cake roll. It is a food that has no benefit to the body. You can't say alcohol is "bad," either... or for that matter, crack cocaine. It is just a substance, devoid of any morals in and of itself. However, some people really do need to divorce themselves from certain substances, based on how they are affected by them. Each person has to decide whether or not they can healthily continue a relationship with any particular substance, be it alcohol or potato chips.

That said, I do believe I am a good enough person to be healthy. I know I deserve it. And for the first time in my life, I am doing what it takes to be healthy... and that makes me very happy :)

Heather said...

good for you! that is such an important thing..to be able to say NO to those foods that you always turned to. I know you were craving some foods big time yesterday, and Im glad you were able to hold out and make healthy choices.

Dinah Soar said...

It is easy to believe we can't resist food, until we finally do and realize that it is possible...once that happens food loses its stronghold...yes, it still appeals, but we know it can't beat us unless we allow it to do so....that is empowering knowledge.

Lynne said...

You are right Lyn, there are NO bad foods, and you are not bad if you eat them - just no closer to your goal. EYE ON THE PRIZE - health, fitness outweigh pizza binges any day! Way to stay strong....

Ready to Shrink said...

I love it! You go girl! Mmmm I love me some beets. YummY!

Lidian said...

Yay for you! I will resist candy, as I've had my weekly treat - that means once a week, as I need to remember, that works for me - not every day! :)

Chubby Chick said...

I'm so happy to hear about your breakthrough! Good for you! And congrats on being in the 230's! That is fantastic! Keep up the good work! :)

Phat Teacher said...

Congrats on your triumphant realization that you have CONTROL!!!! I am sure that's an exciting moment. Keep up the great work :-)